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I got invited to do a couple of songs at an Halloween open mic in a couple of weeks.....so.....I wrote this goofy thing out last night.  I think I'll do it in a standard 12 bar blues format in A.  All nits, crits, and suggestions welcome....

 

Zombie Blues

Copyright 2018 by J Michaels

All Rights Reserved

Intro: (spoken)

I was walking down the street

When someone tapped me on the shoulder

And said….

“Excuse me sir…but did you know

You’re dead?”

Intro Chorus:

I got the zombie blues

I got the zombie blues

It’s hard walkin’ ‘round dead

And no one gives you the news

I got the zombie blues

V1:

Saw my girl just the other night

Long brown hair, eye so bright

I followed her all around

But when she saw me,

She screamed and lit out of town

Chorus/Refrain:

I got the zombie blues

Yeah the zombie blues

It all went South when I tried to score

My jaw fell off and hit the floor

I got the zombie blues

V2:

I used to be a foodie, loved my gourmet fare

It was linen table cloths and polished silverware

French wines and pink champagne

But now all I’m craving

Are fresh sautéed brains

Chorus/Refrain:

I got the zombie blues

I got the zombie blues

Using cutlery didn’t go as planned

Used a knife, and cut off my hand

I got the zombie blues

Bridge:

It sucks to be alive this way

Wandering aimlessly every day

Can’t even sleep in my own bed

‘Cause I’ll just wake up dead.

Chorus/Refrain:

I got the zombie blues

I got the zombie blues

It’s hard walkin’ ‘round dead

And no one gives you the news

I got the zombie blues

Outro:

I got the zombie blues

I got the zombie blues

The looks I get really hurt

Even though I’m on this side of the dirt

I got the zombie blues

I got the zombie blues

Yeah the zombie blues

 

 

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I like how fast you get to the hook! :lol:

I'm not sure everyone will know what "lit out of town" means but it's got a nice meter.

Why does no one give you the news? Didn't quite get that part.

It's fun though and you stay true to the hook.

 

Paul

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"It sucks to be alive this way " - nope, you're dead, zombie.

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Mike's got a point. 

You could say "it sucks to exist this way" ?

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7 hours ago, PaulCanuck said:

I like how fast you get to the hook! :lol:

I'm not sure everyone will know what "lit out of town" means but it's got a nice meter.

Why does no one give you the news? Didn't quite get that part.

It's fun though and you stay true to the hook. 

 

Paul

Would you want to get that close to a zombie?  lol  thanks for the read Paul!

6 hours ago, Mike B said:

"It sucks to be alive this way " - nope, you're dead, zombie.

details, details.....here's a view to zombies being alive....

 

5 hours ago, tunesmithth said:

Mike's got a point. 

You could say "it sucks to exist this way" ?

See above.....:dribble:

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Totally your call, but for the record, this is why I sided with Mike's comment...

 

zombie

noun
 
zom·bie | \ˈzäm-bē \
variants: or less commonly zombi

Definition of zombie 

 

1a : a will-less and speechless human (as in voodoo belief and in fictional stories) held to have died and been supernaturally reanimated

b : the supernatural power that according to voodoo belief may enter into and reanimate a dead body

2a : a person held to resemble the so-called walking dead especially : automaton

b : a person markedly strange in appearance or behavior

3 : a mixed drink made of several kinds of rum, liqueur, and fruit juice

 

Honestly, I wasn't sure, so I looked it up before leaving my original comment. ;)

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It sucks to roam the world/ streets this way? 

 

The news line in the intro chorus   could be  And no one laughs at my "boo" s

 

        It's all in the delivery J, but I'm sure you already know that!  

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If you're a zombie, you're dead.  if you're zombie-like, you're still alive.  "It sucks to exist this way " or "It sucks to be this way " would work.

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lol ok guys.....I bow to your superior arguments....honestly, the open mic probably will be the only time this song will be performed.  or.....maybe it will linger on past its death.........Bwaaahhhhaahahahah.

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thanks Nick.......I will....  I'm trying to find room for another punch line:  My love life's sunk so low....ain't no deodorant to handle this BO. 

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Howdy. I really like this. It's funny and definitely has some Halloween comedy song quality to it.

 

I had some thoughts about the zombie alive/dead thing, but I think on second view, you're okay. I don't really notice a big issue, although 'It's hard being' alive yet dead' could be had in line three of the first chorus, if you want to be more thematic.

 

Cheers!

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Yep the BO line is great. I think you've got a handle on this one. You're certainly better than me at comedy songwriting. Although I did write about an alien probing me once 😑.

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love anyone who can write blues.  But if you're going for a 12 bar blues you have some meter issues.

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1 hour ago, sumonicky said:

Yep the BO line is great. I think you've got a handle on this one. You're certainly better than me at comedy songwriting. Although I did write about an alien probing me once 😑.

lol thanks Nick.....although the word "probe" just sounds so wrong.....especially when linked with alien "invaders"

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45 minutes ago, Jimpate said:

love anyone who can write blues.  But if you're going for a 12 bar blues you have some meter issues

lol thanks Jim......I'm working on it.....however, zombies by definition (see above from Tom) don't have any rhythm per se.  🙄

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good call that, Nick.....

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The "lit out of town" line was a new one to me but I guessed what it means so it's not a big issue.   The "French wines and pink Champagne" isn't quite right as Champagne is a French wine of course,  so perhaps "French wines like pink Champagne" would be better?  Otherwise it should knock 'em dead at the open mic night .

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