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September Song Contest

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Welcome to the September Song Contest – an open format contest.

 

For any newcomers, open format means the entry can be at any production level - from just you and your guitar to a fully orchestrated masterpiece :)

 

TO ENTER: You must post your song in this thread.

 

The timeline is as follows:

• Entries will be accepted now through Midnight Eastern Standard Time (EST) Sunday, Sept 30th, 2018.

• Voting (scorecards) will take place Monday Oct. 1st through Midnight EST Wednesday Oct 10th, 2018.

• Please don’t start scoring until I officially post the scoring instructions.

• You must score all other entries or your entry will be disqualified from the contest - just saying!

• I'll post the results shortly after scoring is completed.

 

If you plan to enter, please review the revised rules, pinned in this forum.

 

When posting your song in this thread, please include:

•song title

•writer credits (If it’s a collab with another Muser please make that clear by including their M/M id)

•audio link

 

Please include the lyrics on your post. Videos are permitted. (Voters are encouraged to refrain from watching any video until after they've scored the song.) All Musers are welcome to submit songs as contestants or score the songs as non-contestants. Any questions or problems should be sent to me (paulcanuck) via private message (PM).

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I Love You So Much It Hurts

Lyrics and Melody: Eric Borgos
Piano: Frankie Simon and Vocals: Matt Greco

 

 

Verse 1:
I hear the cold wind blow
and dance among the trees
the ghosts of mother nature
that no one ever sees

All woven in a pattern
to bring me to your door
what once lay slowly dying
lives forever more

Chorus:
Oh, can you feel the fire
hearts beating with desire
spinning round and round and round the Earth
Just hold me tonight
I love you so much it hurts
just hold me tonight
I love you so much it hurts

Verse 2:
I hear the people talking
but I'm not really there
still drowning in your beauty
then coming up for air

Can't live another minute
in the distance of apart
we are the final brush stroke
in life's great work of art

Chorus
Oh, can you feel the fire
hearts beating with desire
spinning round and round and round the Earth
Just hold me tonight
I love you so much it hurts
just hold me tonight
I love you so much it hurts

Can you feel the fire
hearts beating with desire
spinning round and round and round this Earth
Just hold me tonight
hold me tonight
just hold me tonight
I love you so much it hurts
just hold me tonight
I love you so much it hurts

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"Not-For-Profit Life"

All rights (music, lyrics, arrangement & performance) - Tom Hoffman

*click on photo to open video version of song

 

363648862_successthat-way.jpg.2904b63f1e3519e64f2ea4ed68224ec7.jpg

 

"Not-For-Profit Life"

 

Voices of children enjoying the sunshine

Laughing & playing with friends

Livin’ out days as if each was a lifetime

& Losing themselves in pretend

 

No plan for riches

No thirst for fame

Young lives so simple

Less greed, less pain

 

They’re livin’ not-for-profit lives

No sleepless nights, no worries or fears

They live it one day at a time

Livin’….not-for-profit…..lives

 

Then come the years of bigger & better

The quest for success at all costs

Convincing themselves they’ve gotta keep pace with

The neighbors, the times & their boss

Squandering life for the sake of achievement

More money, more stuff, but no time

Chasin’ the dream, the one they bought into

The one with no reason or rhyme

 

No thanks, you keep it!

That’s not for me!

Things I hold dearest

Mostly come free

 

I’ll take a not-for-profit life!

No sleepless nights, no worries or fears

I’ll live it one day at a time

Livin’…a not-for-profit…life

 

copyright 2008- Tom Hoffman 

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A TWISTED LOVE STORY
Music & Lyrics by David S. Becker

Produced, Arranged & Performed by David S. Becker (aside from drums, which were programmed)
(c) 2018 David S. Becker Music
All Rights Reserved
 



INTRO
VERSE 1

On the table there is champagne on ice
On the jukebox Marvin's crooning
There's a fire burning warm and nice
But I feel the evil looming

PRE-CHORUS
I tell you that I love you
(Then you smash the brand new car)
I tell you that I need you
(Then you meet him at the bar)
I tell you that you're everything
And that I'd never screw you

CHORUS
Will you hold me tonight
My sweet one
(And nibble just a bit on my ears)
Or will you take a bat to my head
As I sleep some
(You sick scum)
You smell so lovely tonight
My only one
(You're everything I've always feared)
Stick the knife in deeper
Or better yet use a gun
(Have some fun)

VERSE 2
Your makeup glitters flawlessly
Your radiance abounds
You promenade so effortlessly
While your wickedness astounds

PRE-CHORUS
CHORUS
SOLO
CHORUS

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There You Are

Music/Lyrics Steve Ison

 

I can't see the light
That big old sun
shines into a car
There You Are....

Alone once again
I need someone
to swing on like a star
There You Are...

I scented the night
when i was a boy
the moment the actress came..
Hung up like a dress
fumbled in the dark,
whispering out her name..
Morning stained in a room of toys
that were broken...


Saturdays love is sundays' drowned
I stumble out the bar
There You Are....

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Psycho Bitch

* If you click on the music player icon that looks like a musical note with three horizontal lines to the right of it, you'll bring up the lyric.

* Thanks to Paul for running the show and to the non-contestant judges, if any.  Kudos to the other contestants for doing the work and putting it out here.  

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Time

by David Butler

 

 

 

There was a time when it was perfect to be there by her side
A time when it was worth it to live someone else's life
A time when she would hold you as a lover and a friend
A time you thought would never end

 

There was a time when you felt wanted
You didn't feel afraid
A time when you weren't haunted by mistakes that you had made
A time when all you needed was to feel her warm embrace
A time - a different time and place

 

CHORUS
Time takes its toll
In time I guess you'll know
Why there came a time to let her go

 

There was a time when she was changing right there before your eyes
A time when she would blame you as she fell between the highs
A time when you felt hopeless; you just couldn't slow her down
When time wouldn't hang around

 

CHORUS

 

Time can be a healer. Time can make you see
And what once broke your heart becomes a fading memory
Time is all that's left then; the time that you both shared
Now it's time to start again

 

CHORUS

 

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Tequila Shots and Forget-Me-Nots

 

Words and Music by Ron Tintner (ASCAP) & Patricia Bishop, ©2018

 

Beachside bar, Baja Bay

Last days of August

(A) pretty lady sat next to me

We really hit it off

(We) talked for hours about this and that

We felt a spark

So we headed out to the warm white sand

And let the fire start

 

We did tequila shots and forget-me-nots

On the beach at Baja Bay

Holding on to Summer       

Hoping it would stay

 

(The) next few days, flew right by

We laughed and loved and played

Days that wouldn't last

As Summer slipped away

We both had other lives to live

To which we must return

But the flames got hot, we felt the heat

And let the fire burn

 

We did tequila shots and forget-me-nots

On the beach at Baja Bay

Holding on to Summer       

Hoping it would stay

 

We made no promises,

To keep…  or break

And if it's meant be, I guess

We'll meet again someday

 

We did tequila shots and forget-me-nots

On the beach at Baja Bay

Holding on to Summer       

Hoping it would stay

 

And now I still look back a lot

At those last sweet Summer days

Of tequila shots and forget-me-nots

On the beach at Baja Bay

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Porn Star

 

Verse 1:
It ain’t hard, it ain’t fast, and lord it ain’t easy.
And it ain’t, all about, rockin’ a mustache … 
from nineteen seventy five!
Day in, day out, I just can’t do this. That’s what you say. 
On the spot, take a shot, you wanna perform.

 

Pre-chorus:
You’ve got to stroke your ego, act like you own the place,
And let it all hang on the line!

 

Chorus:
Walkin’ like a porn star! 
You gotta strut, you gotta hold your head up! (wink)
Porn star! Swagger and rock ’n’ roll!
Walkin’ like a porn star! 
You gotta strut, you gotta hold your head up!
Porn star! 
... a little bit of luck and a lot of control.

 

Verse 2:
Gettin’ blue, let it stew, it only gets bigger … the problem that is.
Confidence doesn’t come in the form of a pill!
When you sweat don’t forget, nobody really cares,
Do your thing, let it swing, welcome to life!

 

 

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The kids

words and music by fabkebab

 

The kids Are coming on The kids looking strong

The kids They know the tune The kids They will be coming soon

 

My work’s not needed any more

40 or 50? What good are we for?

Out like trash, I’m yesterdays man

Hire  millenials, thats the plan

 

The kids Are coming on The kids looking strong

The kids they know the tune The kids They will be coming soon

 

A fathers wage is all I craved

It was working hard and being brave

Didnt plan on getting grey

But it happened the same ,  and got pushed away

 

The kids Are coming on The kids looking strong

The kids They know the tune The kids They will be coming soon

 

I give you all, about another ten

Enjoy your perch, until that moment when

My kids graduate and they storm this town

And you’ll be old, and they knock you down

 

My kids Are coming on My kids looking strong

My kids They know the tune My kids They will be coming soon

The kids Are coming on The kids looking strong

The kids They know the tune The kids They will be coming soon

The kids Are coming on The kids looking strong

The kids They know the tune The kids They will be coming soon

 

 

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Joey M      Joey McMichael: Composition, Lead Vocals

moptop    Dominick Giarraputo: Producer, Recording Engineer, Bass, 12-string Acoustic Guitar, Lead Guitar, Backing Vocals

Peko         Patty Lakamp: Lyrics

 

Country Kind  of Love 

 

Evenings when I’m lyin here, watching you undo your hair

A feelin’ sweeps over me

The picnic on the day we met, that kiss behind the calving shed

You’re still the sugar in my tea

 

Ch1

It’s a country kind of love, bigger than the sky

Natural as the sun on the pasture

A country kind of love

With my woman by my side

 

Tied the knot in Table Rock, Sunday morning, ten o’clock

Three magic nights in the Ozarks

Moseyed back to our old farm, set up shop, repaired the barn

Never spent a night apart

 

Ch2

It’s a country kind of love, bigger than the sky

Grander than a Big Bud tractor

When we turn our thoughts to heaven, this is what it’s like

A hint of what might come after

It’s a country kind of love

Sweet as Grandma’s apple pie

 

Farmin’s a demandin' life, takes a special kind of wife
You were born to the land

Crops can fail, prices dip, always somethin’ else to fix

Through it all you held my hand

 

Ch3

It’s a country kind of love, bigger than the sky

Honest as these wide open spaces

Couldn’t have a better friend and I’d do it all again

Love that lasts generations

It’s a country kind of love

 

I know I’m a lucky man

With our country kind of love

 

 

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Words and music by Oswlek

Percussion by Stickboy and Oswlek

Piano by Chazmataz

Bass by DoctorCastille (youtube) and Oswlek

 

All Fall Down

 

There's no mystery

Why we sometimes land on the ground

As long as we're here

We'll spin like kids playing Rosey

All fall down

We all fall down

 

Can't change history

But we can pull yourselves off the ground

As long as we're here

We'll spin like kids playing Rosey

All fall down

We all fall down

 

After all we spin together

(Like kids playing Rosey, back off the ground)

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Got No Flag

Lyrics: SongWolfe

Music: Murphster

 

Arranged, recorded, produced and performed by Murphster - Marching drumloop courtesy of Looploft. (All weird noises and screams in the background are courtesy of Mini Murphster).

 

This is the first track from the SongWolfe and Murphster collaboration sessions.

 

Wolfster?

 

What I love about these collab contests is the opportunity to step way out of your comfort zone, and this is certainly an example of that. SongWolfe sent me the lyrics and even just reading them all i could hear was the drums...

 

I ran out of time to really polish the vocals, and like most of my tracks they do let this down somewhat. But you know what? This was really fun to make so I don't care! 😉

 

 

Got No Flag
 
I see marching feet
Step to a drummer's beat,
Eyes straight ahead
Brains switched to dead
Don't fit in with this
I never will
I watch history repeat itself
 
Something's wrong and I feel displaced
No identity that fits my face.
I've got no flag to wave
Is it sad that I have got no flag
Or is it a freedom given to me?
 
I hear chanting mobs
Stirred by forked-tongued yobs
Voices full of rage
Hearts filled with hate
Don’t want a part of this
I Never have
To watch history just eat itself
 
Something's wrong and I feel displaced
No identity that fits my face.
I've got no flag to wave
Is it sad that I have got no flag
Or is it a freedom given to me?
 
I grew up with the talks
The peace walls and marching men
Gable scrawls of the past 
The bombsites that haunted them
They held back the future then
No closure for peace
 
Something's wrong and I feel displaced
No identity that fits my face.
I've got no flag to wave
Is it sad that I have got no flag
Or is it a freedom given to me?
I know it’s a freedom given to me

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Time to score!  Please read the scoring rules carefully :)

 

How to score: 

 

Score each song this way:

 

10 - This is the best song I have ever heard in my entire life

2...9 - Somewhere in between...

1 - This song needs a complete overhaul IMHO

 

Put your score for each song to the left of the title.

Don't score your own song - it may or may not be given the average of the scores you give others :lol:

So the list you PM to me should look like this:

 

8 - Song Title 1 - Artist 1

5 - Song Title 2 - Artist 2

8.5 - Song Title 3 - Artist 3

etc...

 

Here is the list of entries (did you read the scoring instructions? :-):

 

I Love You So Much It Hurts - Eric Borgos
Not-For-Profit Life - tunesmithth
A TWISTED LOVE STORY - GocartMoz
There You Are - ScenesFromPalacio
Psycho Bitch - HoboSage
Time - lyD
Tequila Shots and Forget-Me-Nots - neuroron
Porn Star - RoadDog
The Kids - fabkebab
Country Kind  of Love - Joey M/peko/moptop
All Fall Down - Oswlek
Got No Flag - Murphster

 

You have until Midnight EST Wednesday Oct. 10th, 2018 to send me your scores.

Good luck everyone!

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The results are in! Congrats to the winners and all that participated in the fun!

Thanks to our non-contestant scorer: ironknee

 

Gold Medal goes to:

ScenesFromPalacio - There You Are

 

Silver medal winner is a tie:

fabkebab - The Kids

Oswlek - All Fall Down

 

Bronze winner is:

lyD - Time

 

There You Are - ScenesFromPalacio 6.0 7.0 7.5 7.0 8.5 8.5 7.0 9.0 7.0 8.0 8.0 6.5 7.5 8.0 7.5 8.0  -  121.0
The Kids - fabkebab 6.5 9.0 8.0 5.0 9.0 7.5 7.0 7.5 8.0 6.5 9.0 7.0 6.5 9.0 6.0 7.5  -  119.0
All Fall Down - Oswlek 6.0 7.0 8.0 6.0 7.5 7.5 8.0 7.5 9.0 6.0 9.0 8.0 6.0 8.0 6.5 9.0  -  119.0
Time - lyD 6.5 8.5 7.5 6.5 8.0 9.0 5.0 8.0 6.5 8.0 7.5 7.0 9.0 8.0 6.5 7.0  -  118.5
Psycho Bitch - HoboSage 7.0 9.0 7.0 6.0 9.5 5.0 7.5 9.0 6.5 7.0 8.5 9.0 5.0 8.0 6.5 6.0  -  116.5
A TWISTED LOVE STORY - GocartMoz 6.0 8.0 8.0 7.0 8.5 5.5 6.0 7.5 6.0 6.5 7.0 7.5 6.0 6.0 7.5 6.0  -  109.0
Got No Flag - Murphster  5.0 6.0 7.5 6.0 9.0 6.5 6.0 5.0 8.5 7.5 7.5 5.0 7.5 6.0 7.5 6.0  -  106.5
Tequila Shots and Forget-Me-Nots - neuroron 5.0 5.0 6.5 7.0 7.5 7.0 5.0 7.0 7.5 7.5 6.0 6.0 7.0 7.5 6.0 7.0  -  104.5
Country Kind  of Love - Joey M/peko/moptop 7.5 7.0 8.0 7.5 7.0 5.0 4.0 4.0 6.5 7.0 7.0 5.0 6.5 7.0 7.5 7.0  -  103.5
I Love You So Much It Hurts - Eric Borgos 6.5 7.5 6.0 6.5 7.5 5.0 4.0 5.0 6.5 6.0 6.0 6.0 6.0 8.0 7.0 5.0  -  98.5
Not-For-Profit Life - tunesmithth 5.0 7.0 5.0 6.0 7.0 4.0 5.0 6.0 7.5 5.5 7.0 6.5 6.5 8.0 6.5 6.0  -  98.5
Porn Star - RoadDog 5.0 4.0 5.5 5.0 7.5 6.0 5.0 3.0 4.5 7.0 5.0 7.5 5.5 5.0 6.5 7.0  -  89.0

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Here are my thoughts for each song:

 

Not-For-Profit Life - tunesmithth - I like your singing and the chorus melody is catchy.

A TWISTED LOVE STORY - GocartMoz - The hard rocking guitar creates a great atmosphere. Everything about the song is really good.

There You Are - ScenesFromPalacio - Catchy and well done.

Psycho Bitch - HoboSage - Everything about this is great and memorable.
Time - lyD - Your singing is perfect and the lyrics and songwriting are amazing. The melody of the chorus is somewhat of a let down for me though. Nothing wrong with it, and lyrically it is fine, it jus did not seem right to me. Overall a great song though.
Tequila Shots and Forget-Me-Nots - neuroron - The chorus is catchy. For the verses, I think you use the word "we " too many times, as "we" is also the start of the chorus. Like you are telling a factual story, but not making me feel it.
Porn Star - RoadDog - I like the song musically, but the lyrics seem somewhat cliche.
The Kids - fabkebab - Your singing is really good, and the chorus is catchy. I like the structure of the song (punk rock), how it keeps moving fast to keep things interesting, yet the meaningful lyrics still come across well.
Country Kind  of Love - Joey M/peko/moptop - The "It’s a country kind of love" is a good hook. Memorable, and explains the entire song well.
All Fall Down - Oswlek - The chorus is catchy. I thought the 2nd half would get boring since it seemed like you could have ended it halfway, but I liked the 2nd half even better.
Got No Flag - Murphster - The drums keep it moving well, but maybe the vocals could be a little louder in the mix. Nothing really draws me in to what you are trying say.

 

 

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Congratulations,  ScenesFromPalacio for the  Gold!  (Don't you get tired of all these wins?) 😁  

 

And congrats, too, to fabkebab, Oswlek and lyD.  You are all tough competition!


Patty

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Talk about quick results ;) ...way-to-go Paul 👍

 

My top 3 picks ;

9 - All Fall Down - Oswlek
8.5 - Got No Flag - Murphster

8 - The Kids - fabkebab

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Congrats to the winners and Thanks Paul for running the show.  Great job, as always.  I guess I was a bit out of the mainstream this month.  For me, David (Hobo's) Psycho Bitch was the standout, shining on all levels.  The guitar playing, the singing, the arrangement,  the write and the recording were all exceptional in my book.

 

Os's, All Fall Down was my second favorite.  I wish the lyric developed a bit more, but so well done.  Great job.

 

I had Road Dog's Porn Star coming in with the bronze.  Frankly, shocked at its' finish.  I thought the lyric was so clever.  A refreshing write which I totally enjoyed.

 

Honestly, I am surprised A Twisted Love Story finished in the middle of the pack.  I truly thought it would be last this month.  I never have considered this one of my better songs.  Pleasantly surprised.

 

Once again, congrats to the winners. 

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I gave lots of 7's this month - enjoyed a lot of songs

 

My top picks were "All fall down" and "there you are" 

 

For "there you are" I know I have heard the song before- did you once post it with a video of you walking around in the street? I not sure if that was the one from your earliest days at the muse

 

thanks so much for running it PaulCanuck, both for your generosity of time and also for not having one of your songs to eclipse my own songwriting!!

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Congrats to the winners. Man this was a tough bunch of songs to score. All of them where all top notch.   Thanks to all who took the time to vote. Thanks to Paul for taking the time to run the show this month.   Here's just some bits I jotted down while scoring.

 

My top three were:

   I Love You So Much It Hurts - Eric Borgos
   Not-For-Profit Life - tunesmithth
   A TWISTED LOVE STORY - GocartMoz

 

I Love You So Much It Hurts

This is a very very good song.  Both the vocal performance and the piano work are excellent. This sounds like it came straight from the heart!

 

Not For Profit Life

I love the guitar on the this. Very reminiscent  of  70’s style rock. Great mix.  Good harmonies.   

 

A Twisted Love Story

This is excellent all the way around. Dave you did a great job of coaxing those great harmonic’s  out of that guitar.  Vocal performance, musicianship and production are top notch.  The lyrics were just a little rugged and dark but you pulled it off very well. 

       

There You Are

A great pop-ish style song…my softspot!!! The mix is open and airy and performance, from you as always, is great.  A very good blend of vintage and modern. Nicely done!

 

Psycho Bitch

Rugged, raw, and gritty…..Excellent drums on this.   Vocal performance for main line and harmonies are tight!  Mix has and excellent spread across the stereo field.

 

Time

To me this feels like a cross between Dylan and Croce, and I mean that as a big complement. Sort of  folkish. Very easy on the ears.  Good  mix. The simple arrangement and choice of instruments only adds to the quality of this song. Wonderful vocal performance.

 

Tequila Shots and Forget-Me-Nots

What a fun little song.  This has a great feel to it, light and happy. Mix balance is excellent, perfect spread in the stereo field. Good vocals and harmonies.  I can hear this being played at summer parties for sure.

 

Porn Star

I like the lyrics on this with it’s very suggestive wording.  Vocal performance is good but the mix doesn’t seem to give it much punch. The musical performance is very good as well but again the mix is not doing it justice.

 

 The kids

Pop Punk!  Too Cool!!!     Good all the way around.

 

Country Kind of Love 

No comment

 

 All Fall Down

I love the guitar on this one.   This song just “flows” along smoothly. The mix is very good.  Vocal performance and harmonies are excellent.  I’m not too sure about the Yoko Ono sounding vocal (no disrespect intended to the vocalist) at the end but I understand what you were getting at there.

 

Got No Flag

Very good instrumental arrangement.  The vocal suggests a slight hint of  Billy Idol, very cool!!...a is not bad at all as far as the “polish” goes. It fits quite well with the rest of the mix.

 

Take care,

Dominick/Moptop

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Hey folks! Congrats to Scenes, Fabkebab, Oswlek, and lyD!

 

Here are my comments.  Take 'em with a grain of salt.

 

 

Love You So Much It Hurts - Eric Borgos

 

Really nice piano intro.  The feel reminds me of Jackson Browne.  Not sure I’m really keen on the way that the phrase “can you feel fire” is delivered, but the tempo of the line right before that “what once lay slowly dying lives forever more”  is sweet.  Also, “drowning in your beauty then coming up for air” is a great line. My main gripe is that I wish it would develop more in intensity.

 

Not-For-Profit Life - tunesmithth

 

Nice transition to the chorus, but I do wish the chorus had more oomph.  I do like the eclectic use of instruments and they are used.  The organ(?) is fresh surprise.  I do feel that the verses could use some more dimension.  But that  is subtle as you don’t want to detract from the chorus.

 

A TWISTED LOVE STORY - GocartMoz

Man I love the opening squeal of that Tele(?)!  Really great guitar work throughout too!  Not sure if I’m super crazy on the lyrics but the melody and harmony is excellent.  The only part that really bugs me is the melody in parts such as “sleep some”  or “use a gun”.  All subjective. Can’t decide if I like the solo or the harmonies the best, but it is a great contest of the two!

 

There You Are - ScenesFromPalacio

 Fresh yet strangely familiar (almost like early Floyd).  There are several melodic themes here (at least to me) and they are woven together very well. The lyrics are suggestively cryptic but just enough for me to form my own images.  I dig it!

 

Psycho Bitch - HoboSage

 

I love the intro!  I remember this from a few years ago.  Liked it then and love it now!  Funny cause it’s true right - in so many cases!  It’s rockin’ and it’s hard to be objective when I gravitate to this kind of music - but the hell with it.  My favorite of the bunch!

 

Time - lyD

 

Really nice feel to this one.  Familiar and I can’t place it - but I shouldn’t right?  What I really like is your choice of the fingerstyle guitar over the organ - it sounds real nice.  

 

Tequila Shots and Forget-Me-Nots - neuroron

 

I like chord change or I should say the melody over the chords at “the last days of August”  Nice build in the chorus.  I think I just wanted to hear more of a change up in a bridge.

 

 

The Kids - fabkebab

Punk!  Oh I dig it!  Sweet rockin’ guitar work!  And oh I can identify with this line “My work’s not needed any more 40 or 50? What are we good for?”  Oh now I am biased.  This is a fun rocking tune that I tried to capture last year with “Rock’n’Roll Citizen”  And oh I love the surprise vibes at 2:58.  I picture myself (near 50) in an elevator / lift waiting for my floor in a hum-drum white-collar job - instead rockin’ out like the Sex Pistols or the Ramones!  Fantastic!

 

 

Country Kind  of Love - Joey M/peko/moptop

 

This is great collaboration.  I love the descriptive imagery of things such as “the calving shed”  and the Ozarks.  One thing that surprises me is actually how quickly it builds within the first few lines to the full intensity of the song - I’d almost say to tease the listener a bit more.  

 

All Fall Down - Oswlek

 

I love the melody, and the tremolo on the guitar (is that a Swart amp?)  It has a classic sound about it, and inventive direction with great use of dynamics.  In the main part of the song I wish there was more space between the intro theme and refrain.  The bridge (?) at 1:49 is fantastic.  

 

Got No Flag - Murphster

 

Good stuff mate.  “Eyes straight ahead switch to dead”  So damn true but such are humans.  You have hit the nail on the head with the marching band / military drum beat in concert with the lyrics.  The kettle drum finish is sweet!   It is a song for our time.

 

Cheers,

Pete

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Nice one for voting There You Are into top spot ! and to Paul for generously running this fab comp too.. Lots of very cool songs this month..Here's my brief notes while listening..

 

 

Love You So Much It Hurts - Eric Borgo  -Very well expressed Elton Johnesque ballad..Melodic with some nice changes

 
Not-For-Profit Life - tunesmithth - Downbeat song with a good message in the modern US world 
 
A TWISTED LOVE STORY - GocartMoz  -Smart catchy 70s style FM pop..Love the changes n the BVs built into it..Atmospheric track..Really enjoyable n well written 
 
 Psycho Bitch - HoboSage  edgy n uncompromising..Can't imagine this as a 1+1 lol but there's loads of energy in the production spec when the harmonies come in that make it very enjoyable as a track.. 
 
Time - lyD  The chorus has a really nice feel..Has a sweet melancholic vibe..Very natural n heartfelt track..Love the organ too..Enjoyable.. 
 
Tequila Shots and Forget-Me-Nots - neuroron  Enjoyable upbeat sunny track..It seems like you spend most of your life on holidays judging from your songs Ron !
 
Porn Star - RoadDog The verse melody reminds me weirdly of My Life by Billy Joel...Really like the lead at the end 
 
The Kids - fabkebab  Can't help but raise a wry smile to the sardonic wit in this cool punky pop tune...Really well done musically  n lyrically n definitely very British in its humour.excellent
 
Country Kind  of Love - Joey M/peko/moptop  Really like the  spacious slightly eccentric melodic west coast country vibe here..Hearing this makes me realise how much space there is that's not visited at all in mainstream country nowadays..Nice one
 
All Fall Down - Oswlek  Very elegant. beautifully produced n performed strange;y atmospheric piece...The weird fade is a total delight
 

Got No Flag - Murphster   Love the charming marching band feel of this..Its like a quirky 80s pop hit..Good lyric too 

 

 

Quote

 

For "there you are" I know I have heard the song before- did you once post it with a video of you walking around in the street? I not sure if that was the one from your earliest days at the muse

 

 

 

You're half right Fab..I entered a 1+1 version of this in March 17 which finished mid pack,guess thats where you've heard it before..Have just  completed a new video to it yesterday tho !
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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9 hours ago, RoadDog said:

 

A TWISTED LOVE STORY - GocartMoz

Man I love the opening squeal of that Tele(?)!  Really great guitar work throughout too!  Not sure if I’m super crazy on the lyrics but the melody and harmony is excellent.  The only part that really bugs me is the melody in parts such as “sleep some”  or “use a gun”.  All subjective. Can’t decide if I like the solo or the harmonies the best, but it is a great contest of the two! 

 

 

 

Yes Road Dog, it is a Tele.  The same Tele in the Soundcloud pic for my song.  It is a 1977 Tele Deluxe.  The Deluxe has twin humbuckers, as opposed to a single coil pickup.  I bought the guitar new back in '77.  All original parts, aside from the tuners.  A few years back I put locking tuners on it.  I also changed out the string tree.  Other than that, all original parts, including the pickups.

 

Dave

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4 hours ago, GocartMoz said:

Yes Road Dog, it is a Tele.  The same Tele in the Soundcloud pic for my song.  It is a 1977 Tele Deluxe.  The Deluxe has twin humbuckers, as opposed to a single coil pickup.  I bought the guitar new back in '77.  All original parts, aside from the tuners.  A few years back I put locking tuners on it.  I also changed out the string tree.  Other than that, all original parts, including the pickups.

 

Dave

You guys will laugh, but I was listening to all of the songs for the first time on my headphones, and the squeal from your song came on (GokartMoz) and somehow my dog heard it through the earphones, growled and then ran away!

 

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Congrats Steve and co. Well deserved winners. I think I had the same top 3 in reverse, but they are all really great songs. 

 

Big thanks to Paul for running the contest. 

 

A few comments as I was listening:

 

I Love You So Much It Hurts - Eric Borgos - Lovely song. Would be a strong contender for a 1+1 contest.


Not-For-Profit Life - tunesmithth - Nice tune. Great lyrics. The hook maybe didn't jump out as much as it deserved to. 


A TWISTED LOVE STORY - GocartMoz - Solid production. Fun theme, although I felt the chorus came in without much story to prepare the listener. 


There You Are - ScenesFromPalacio - I remember this from a 1+1 contest. Love the production on it. Reminds me of a Graham Coxon album for some reason. 


Psycho Bitch - HoboSage - I really enjoyed this. Production is spot on and really makes it work. The only thing I felt it missed was some background - why/how is she psycho?!


Tequila Shots and Forget-Me-Nots - neuroron - Solid tune. Nice to have the chance to listen to you again. You always tell a good story. 


Porn Star - RoadDog - Some good elements but felt a bit disjointed. The lyrics were a bit too blatant in places but some clever lines. 


The Kids - fabkebab - I really love this. Something different for you and you've nailed it. I've had it in my head all week. Your voice really suits the style as well. I didn't particularly like the break down but it's well realised anyway. Really great stuff - I'd love to hear more of it! 


Country Kind  of Love - Joey M/peko/moptop - Good hook and nicely performed. I really like the melody on the first line of the chorus. Another one that keeps popping into my head. 


All Fall Down - Oswlek - Beautifully put together and performed. Great, original tune. 


Got No Flag - Murphster - On first listen I felt this had a lot of potential but it didn't quite kick in as I hoped. That said, I've found the chorus stuck in my head frequently over the last few days, so it's clearly doing something right. That instrumental section before the last chorus is great. 

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Thanks Paul for running the contest this month!

Congrats to Scenes, and to everyone who entered. It is great that we keep having so many solid entries month and after month.

 

There You Are - ScenesFromPalacio, I thought this was going to easily be my top pick when I heard it. A fantastic song, brilliantly arranged and recorded - it sounds awesome. There is something in the opening that does grab me straight away, and there is something recognisable in there, which actually helps a lot to buy into this straight away. I love the rising melody at the end of the opening verses.  Congrats, great song. But as it happens it was actually beaten for my top pick by lyd.

 

Time, what a glorious, gorgeous song. The lyrics really grabbed me, maybe it was just the time and the way I was feeling but this song really made me stop and listen. Your voice is great and so perfect for this track. Your choice of instruments was spot-on and this whole track just hung together in exactly the right way. It is a really fantastic song in my opinion and you should be very proud of this, I would be!.

 

I will add thoughts on others later on...

 

Cheers 

 

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FWIW, some of my thoughts about each tune.

 

I Love You So Much It Hurts - Eric Borgos

The lyric for an Eric song is always a good one, and this one is no exception.  What let this collab down, imo, was a piano arrangement that employs utterly predicable chord progressions without any emotional dynamics in the playing, and, for some mystifying reason, starts the chorus progression on the same chord that ends the verse progression, thereby not giving the chorus the true chorus vibe I think this song's structure needed musically.  I thought that was a big weakness, especially given the 1+1 format.

 

Not-For-Profit Life - tunesmithth

A solid song with a strong message.  I know it's a done deal, but if you ever re-do it, keep the title and everything else the same but ponder changing the payoff line from "livin' . . . a not-for-profit . . . life" to "livin' . . . not for profit . . . but for life."


A TWISTED LOVE STORY - GocartMoz

Good tune with a humorous story.  And I thought the gal in my song was psycho!  :)

 

There You Are - ScenesFromPalacio

Very creative arrangement, and one that's allowed to goove a bit!  Steve's tunes tend to have many stops, starts and/or changes of musical direction that can sometimes leave me feeling like the music has ADHD.  In this one, the extended final chorus grooves out more, and I loved that.  I would have liked this one more if I could have interpreted the lyric to mean something to me.

Time - lyD

The vibe of this one is very Dust In The Wind, with an organ replacing the violin, and without harmonies.  For me, because the choruses rely on "time" lines, there are way too many verse lines starting with "time."  Arrangement-wise, in addition to vocal harmonies as a later build, I also would keep the organ out of the intro and let it come in to build the arrangement later as new sound.    I think the song would have more lyrical impact if it was sung first-person instead of from a third-person-omniscient p.o.v. about two other people.  I also think it would be cool if you could tweak the structure so that the final lyrical section starting with "time can be a healer" brought relief from the picking pattern so that you brought things "down" a bit and sang each line in that section to a slow one-strummed chord, you then paused briefly after singing "time to start again,"  and then you started the march of time again by going back to the finger picking pattern again and let the picking fade out without further singing - maybe just picking the first chord in the main progression, like how Dust In The Wind ends.

 

Tequila Shots and Forget-Me-Nots - neuroron

Another solid tune with an Island vibe.


Porn Star - RoadDog

Per usual, I dig the raw rockish vibe, but atypically for a Pete song, I think the lyric lets this one down.  I get what it's going for, but the last thing I think about when thinking about the confidence and control a porn star has to have, is how they "walk."  I don't think that hook works at all as a metaphor in this song.


The Kids - fabkebab

This is what the Ramones could have sounded like if they actually had some talent.  :) Good tunage.

 

Country Kind  of Love - Joey M/peko/moptop

Another solid story from Patty, but like with Eric's collab, I think the music fails this song.  There's nothing wrong with the arrangement in itself, but, for me, it isn't even close to being country enough to fit the lyric.  I think the music needs to sound much more like traditional country or perhaps bluegrass to work well with the almost endearingly hick aspect to the lyric.


All Fall Down - Oswlek

Awesome tune all around.


Got No Flag - Murphster

I thought the arrangement was very creative.  I have small nits with some lyrical lines throughout the song, but what really disappointed me were the last two lines of the chorus -they left me thinking "huh?" - not because I didn't get them, but because they seemed like throw-away lines (especially - "is it sad that I have no flag") compared to the rest of the cool lines - like "no identity to fit my face."  This is a serious subject, and the chorus ends in a way lyrically that comes across to me as kind of Monty Python  - or perhaps, more accurately, Eddie Izzard, and his "Do you have a flag?" stand-up shtick. 

 

Just my opinions.

David

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Unfortauntely I didnt get to offer detailed notes this month, but I must say I love the follow up comments after these music competitions - its a really nice collaborative addition which never used to be there. I remember one time (when nobody else was doing it) I actually offered comments for a couple of months and was kind of beaten down for it!

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2 hours ago, fabkebab said:

Unfortauntely I didnt get to offer detailed notes this month, but I must say I love the follow up comments after these music competitions - its a really nice collaborative addition which never used to be there. I remember one time (when nobody else was doing it) I actually offered comments for a couple of months and was kind of beaten down for it!

I remember that, as well 😋

Hey....why don't we have "like" emoji's in the contest section?

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Quote

Steve's tunes tend to have many stops, starts and/or changes of musical direction that can sometimes leave me feeling like the music has ADHD.

  Haha..I'm in a band called ADHD & i DO have adhd too (at least in an online test i did where i scored extremely high)  :)

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4 hours ago, HoboSage said:

What really disappointed me were the last two lines of the chorus -they left me thinking "huh?" - not because I didn't get them, but because they seemed like throw-away lines (especially - "is it sad that I have no flag") compared to the rest of the cool lines - like "no identity to fit my face."  This is a serious subject, and the chorus ends in a way lyrically that comes across to me as kind of Monty Python  - or perhaps, more accurately, Eddie Izzard, and his "Do you have a flag?" stand-up shtick

This why I need a lyricist! 😉

 

I just wanted to comment on this to ensure that SongWolfe didn't get the blame as the man who wrote the words. I actually added this line, because I just needed another line and I think SongWolfe was too polite to change it,!

 

I have actually just used this comment to highlight to him not to accept whatever I change in the current song we are working on! 😉

 

 

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