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My Biggest Fan

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My Biggest Fan

 

{vs}
I found you at a yard sale
You were standing there alone
My neighbour said "Five dollars"
"You can take this baby home"
Said "Sorry for her state of ill-repair"
But I knew I had to have you
When I felt you move the air

 

Now we hang out in my bedroom
And I set your blades a-whirl
When I play my latest love song
That I've written for the world

 

{ch}
It's so nice to find someone who understands
That I'm your famous pop star
And you're my biggest fan

 

You're way across the room
I'm sitting over here
I feel you blowing gently  - so gently in my ear
You hum along, I sing and play guitar
Convinced there'll come a day

When I will be a star

 

I'm glad I found a friend who understands
That I'm her famous pop star
And she's my biggest fan

 

My uncle called to offer me a job
I wondered if it's time I took him up
I almost had decided that I'd go
But you moved your head from side to side
As if to tell me "No"

 

It's great to see you standing by your man
'Cause I'm your famous pop star
And you're my biggest fan

 

{br}
I've got a couple smaller ones
I guess you're now a club
You move together, oscillate
To the music that you love
When I play, I turn you on..

 

You're the one I reach for when I can
I'm your famous pop star
Yes, I'm your famous pop star
I'm your famous pop star
And you're my biggest fan.

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Paul, I would like to comment but I'm not sure if you're speaking about yourself, you're latest recording or another person.

 

 

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15 minutes ago, Jimpate said:

Paul, I would like to comment but I'm not sure if you're speaking about yourself, you're latest recording or another person.

 

A bit from column A, a bit from column B, and a little of column C :)

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That's what I heard.

 

So you are telling the story.

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Positively silly.   :P  Get rid of 'said' in line 5, that confused me, as the neighbor was already talking ('said' in line 3)

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It comes in strong with the first verse. Very good! I like the overall idea. In fact I believe we think alike. 😀 I’ll PM you why. 

“Moved your head from side to side, as if to tell me no” had me cracking up a bit. 

 I’m not great at critiquing lyrics. The only thing that feels a little off to me is the chorus line “I’m your famous pop star” I’m not sure why, because it makes sense. I think it’s just the way it sounds when I read it. I’d probably just ignore my thoughts about that. 😀

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Right up my alley...... loved it

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im not sure about the line.......'' Said "Sorry for her state of ill-repair" . it suggests to me , that the fan isnt working properly , but the subsequent lines suggest it is working properly . im guessing by ''ill repair'' , that you mean its not in great condition , but still works

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Hi Paul

This is great it has about five punch lines in it and they all are music related so focused and on topic.

I particularly enjoyed the Tammy Wynette one. Cause it just slipped in there.

Verse two appears to be correct but written down differently than verse one 

probably in verse one it should be written 

 

"My neighbour said  five dollars -You can take this baby home"

For consistency

 

The structure is interesting and challenging because of the variations. I am seeing it as 

Full verse chorus truncated verse chorus truncated verese chorus bridge chorus extro

And I'm thinking you might use the melody from the b part of the opening verse as the basis for the bridge, otherwise it only gets

heard once. 

 

This verse has scansion variations with the others

"My uncle called to offer me a job
I wondered if it's time I took him up
I almost had decided that I'd go
But you moved your head from side to side
As if to tell me "No"

But I very much like what it says and how it says it. It's a cool joke. I mean if it's a variation of either the bridge melody or the verse melody to make it work 

I think that's ok as long as you can preserve it like it is. It's a tune time thing.

 

I didn't have an issue with where the voice was coming from. And I enjoyed it because of the wry ironic way it deals with the subject is like realistic acceptance. And after reading it and laughing my take away thoughts were it doesn't matter how much talent you have the business is a lottery. And it's like the voice accepts that as a realist, and deals with it with humour. So I thought the voice was powerful rather than confusing.

 

Whether you take out a word here or there is a tune time decision. 

 

And in regard to the efficacious working condition of your number one fan when your purchased it at the knock down price of five dollars, and it's 

subsequent stella performance.

I offer your the Jimmy Webb response. "It's just a song man, lighten up, somebody get this man a drink."

This was in response to a dude invading his dressing room brandishing a road map and ranting about the

impossible milage achieved in the song "By the Time I get to Phoenix" 

 

Ah I do have a nit.

I think you missed a verse.

Like how you are so sorry and she shouldn't be offended because you have to turn her off when you record

cause she's just too noisy. After all when it's done and you turn her on for play back she's gonna be the first to hear the music.

 

I loved it it was a lot of fun. I'm hearing banjoes.

 

Cheers

 

Gary

 

 

 

 

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Hi Paul,

            A while back there was a song with the line 'And I'll be the greatest fan of your life' by Edwin McCain. It's still on the radio.  However luckily it's not about an appliance. 

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On 14/09/2018 at 15:01, Mike B said:

Positively silly.   :P  Get rid of 'said' in line 5, that confused me, as the neighbor was already talking ('said' in line 3)

Good point - plus I've already said "said" two lines before. Maybe I'll change that second "said" to "and" if I need the syllable.

Thanks Mike!

 

On 14/09/2018 at 15:03, Onewholovesrock said:

It comes in strong with the first verse. Very good! I like the overall idea. In fact I believe we think alike. 😀 I’ll PM you why. 

“Moved your head from side to side, as if to tell me no” had me cracking up a bit. 

 I’m not great at critiquing lyrics. The only thing that feels a little off to me is the chorus line “I’m your famous pop star” I’m not sure why, because it makes sense. I think it’s just the way it sounds when I read it. I’d probably just ignore my thoughts about that. 😀

Haha - that's a good pick of your fan-bass JOe :)

I suppose I could say "biggest pop star" or "greatest rock star" - those are both phrases I considered. Probably decide when I sing it. Cheers for the positive remarks.

 

On 14/09/2018 at 15:37, mick70 said:

Right up my alley...... loved it

Thanks Mick :)

 

On 14/09/2018 at 16:07, denimchild said:

im not sure about the line.......'' Said "Sorry for her state of ill-repair" . it suggests to me , that the fan isnt working properly , but the subsequent lines suggest it is working properly . im guessing by ''ill repair'' , that you mean its not in great condition , but still works

Thanks denimchild - I'll think about that line. Maybe "good-repair" would suit better.

 

On 14/09/2018 at 17:52, Willsx13 said:

I like it, Paul!  

Like the element of humor you've added to the verses.

Cheers!

 

On 14/09/2018 at 18:52, Snabbu said:

Hi Paul

This is great it has about five punch lines in it and they all are music related so focused and on topic.

I particularly enjoyed the Tammy Wynette one. Cause it just slipped in there.

Verse two appears to be correct but written down differently than verse one 

probably in verse one it should be written 

 

"My neighbour said  five dollars -You can take this baby home"

For consistency

 

The structure is interesting and challenging because of the variations. I am seeing it as 

Full verse chorus truncated verse chorus truncated verese chorus bridge chorus extro

And I'm thinking you might use the melody from the b part of the opening verse as the basis for the bridge, otherwise it only gets

heard once. 

 

This verse has scansion variations with the others

"My uncle called to offer me a job
I wondered if it's time I took him up
I almost had decided that I'd go
But you moved your head from side to side
As if to tell me "No"

But I very much like what it says and how it says it. It's a cool joke. I mean if it's a variation of either the bridge melody or the verse melody to make it work 

I think that's ok as long as you can preserve it like it is. It's a tune time thing.

 

I didn't have an issue with where the voice was coming from. And I enjoyed it because of the wry ironic way it deals with the subject is like realistic acceptance. And after reading it and laughing my take away thoughts were it doesn't matter how much talent you have the business is a lottery. And it's like the voice accepts that as a realist, and deals with it with humour. So I thought the voice was powerful rather than confusing.

 

Whether you take out a word here or there is a tune time decision. 

 

And in regard to the efficacious working condition of your number one fan when your purchased it at the knock down price of five dollars, and it's 

subsequent stella performance.

I offer your the Jimmy Webb response. "It's just a song man, lighten up, somebody get this man a drink."

This was in response to a dude invading his dressing room brandishing a road map and ranting about the

impossible milage achieved in the song "By the Time I get to Phoenix" 

 

Ah I do have a nit.

I think you missed a verse.

Like how you are so sorry and she shouldn't be offended because you have to turn her off when you record

cause she's just too noisy. After all when it's done and you turn her on for play back she's gonna be the first to hear the music.

 

I loved it it was a lot of fun. I'm hearing banjoes.

 

Cheers

 

Gary

Thanks for the extensive comments Gary. If I need another verse I might just use your suggestion. :)

 

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I do love humor.  

 

From your "coolest fan".

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