Jump to content
iggy

August Lyrics Contest

Recommended Posts

laugh.gifAugust Lyrics Contestlaugh.gif
 
The timeline is...........

• Entries will be accepted now through Midnight  Tuesday  August 28

 Voting (scorecards) will take place 

Wednesday August 29

through 

Tuesday September 4 Midnight 

 Don't start voting until I officially post the scoring instructions.

• I'll post the results on Wednesday  - September 5

 

cool.gifHere are the rules:cool.gif

 

1) It has to be an original lyric that has not been posted on this site previously

 

2) Send your submission to me (iggy) via private message and I will post it anonymously on your behalf. The names of each lyric writer will be revealed at the end of the contest.

 

3) Once you enter your lyric, you cannot change or revise it, or submit another in its place.

 

4) I will submit it as is, so watch your format and your spelling. I will not change any of your errors after the lyric has been posted.

 

5) If you enter, you must submit scores for the other lyrics when the submission portion of the contest ends.

 

All Musers are welcome to submit songs as contestants or score the songs as non-contestants.

 

I may enter a lyric of my own, just for scoring purposes - It cannot win, will not have scores posted, and will immediately be disqualified once voting has completed

Any questions or problems should be sent to me (iggy) via private message (PM).

 

 

 

:wub:*******ENJOY*******:wub:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You Got The Wheel But I Took The Keys

 

Friday night and we went dancing     or at least you said we would     

You were dancing on the tables    drinking everything you could

You got drunk but I stayed sober    'cause i knew you'd get too stoned

I dont wanna get pulled over    I just wanna get us home        so

        

           Slide your ass over    I'm driving    please

           Yeah you got the wheel but      I took the keys

           You might kill yourself    but baby not with me      'cause 

           You got the wheel but       I took the keys   

             

Every time we go out clubbing     always seems to end this way           

You insist that you can drive home     doesn't matter what I say 

Drank them all under the table     snorting things and smoking joints

Ain't no way to spend an evening     once or twice then what's the point?       so

           

            Slide your ass over      you're not getting these       

            Yeah You got the wheel but       I took the keys

             You're might kill yourself      but baby not with me     'cause 

             You got the wheel but       I took the keys   

              

Get sober         we'll talk.   (Bridge)

I drive        or     I walk

Your things         front lawn

Last call             you're gone 

Outgrow             this stuff

I've had                enough          so 

              

                Slide your ass over      I'm driving     please

                Yeah you got the wheel but     I took the keys

                You might kill yourself     but baby not with me        'cause 

                 You got the wheel but      I took the keys

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I Will Be

 

I will be the bridge

That lets you cross the river

I’ll be your inspiration

I’ll be your forgiver

When you have done the wrongs

That we all do

 

I will be the torch

That gets you through the tunnel

Love’s current runs so wild

But I will be the funnel

That channels its sweet water

Right to you

 

I will be

I will be

I will be

I will be

Everything you need

Your soil and your seed

So you can plant a paradise

That lasts…

For eternity

 

I will be the fire

That keeps you warm in winter

Your rod and your reel

Your hook, your line, your sinker

To let you catch the bounty

Of life’s sea

 

I will be the music

That deepens your emotions

I’ll be the wind behind you

Steadfast in my devotion

To help to make you realize

Your dreams

 

I will be

I will be

I will be

I will be

Everything you need

Your soil and your seed

So you can plant a paradise

That lasts…

For eternity

 

(Instrumental)

 

I will be

I will be

I will be

I will be

Everything you need

Your soil and your seed

So you can plant a paradise

That lasts…

For eternity

(Repeat)

 

(Outro)

I will be

Everything you need

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Clause 5, Sub-Paragraph d)

 

Verse 1:
Clause number 5
sub-paragraph d)
that's what my lawyer
he said to me

Seems like that damn fine print
it was the key
that'll forever change
my life's destiny

Pre-Chorus:
Had I not signed there
on that dotted line
my financial health
it would be just fine

But what's done is done
now times are tough
'cause my angry wife
has all of my stuff

Chorus 1:
Don't want a divorce
don't want a divorce
why did the ship of our love
ever have to change course

Verse 2:
What can I do babe
to get ya back?
I wanna cover you in syrup
like a hot pancake stack

I'll be a brand new man
all romantic and caring
to gain your trust again
my soul to you I'll be bearing

Even when you're wrong
you'll still be right
I'll never say anything bad
that could lead to a fight

I know I took ya for granted
let our love slip away
what used to be so bright
became a charcoal grey

But I know I can change
if you just give me a chance
I’ll light a whole new spark
to heat up this romance

So screw all the lawyers
with their rates by the hour
let's unite as a couple
and take back the power

Forget about Clause 5
sub-paragraph d)
all we need is each other
to live our lives happily

Chorus 2:
Don't want a divorce
don't want a divorce
don't put the final bullet
into the heart of this lame horse

Outro:
Don't want to get a divorce
to you I want to stay married
Let the mistakes of the past
stay dead and buried

I used to be a lost soul
but now I see the light
can't give up on our love
and not put up a fight

So sit down, think it over
consider this my final plea
I promise to love you forever
if you stay married to me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Home is You

 

V1  

Maybe it’s a cabin tucked back in the woods

Or a broken down walkup in a bad neighborhood

Worlds apart, home is in the heart

We feel it just the same

 

PC1

It doesn’t matter if it’s large or small

A rambling mansion or a hole in the wall

Home’s the only place that grabs your heart this way 

 

Ch 1 

It’s a lifetime mem’ry you hold inside        

One you can treasure or try to deny

But your home gave rise to you, it’s in everything you do

Home is you    

 

V2 

It wraps its arms around you and invites you in

Makes you comfy on the sofa and asks how you been

Anything you say, it’s all OK

Home is on your side

 

PC2 

It’s where you go to feel like yourself

Your favorite slippers, your things on the shelf

Home’s the only place that makes you feel this way 

 

Ch2 

Four walls that welcome you home at night

An old friend who thinks you are always right 

Waiting there for you, easy as a well-worn shoe 

Home is you

 

PC3 

I wonder lately if I got it all wrong

Maybe home is anywhere you feel you belong 

Maybe home is anywhere with you 

 

Ch3 

As far as I can see

I can’t imagine home without you and me

My home is here with you, anywhere with you   

Home is you

Home is you

Home is you

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Love lives

 

(Intro)

 

From Suicide Leap..
I view a sea of emptiness...
Grey in its pallor...
Endless in its vastness...
And I think

 

(Verse 1)
You don't have to be like Eleanor Rigsby
You don't have to die alone
Uncherished and unmourned,
You don't have to be always lonely
End just a name on a stone
Cold granite unadorned

 

Cos

 

(Chorus)
Love lives
Life loves
It finds its way,
It may not seem like it
But it's got time for
waifs and strays

(Verse 2)
You don't have to be unfeasibly pretty
You don't have to live alone
Locked in a jail of your own,
You don't have to be always lonely
There's nothing for you to atone
He's just at the end of a phone

 

Cos

 

(Chorus)
Love lives
Life loves
It finds its way,
It may not seem like it
But it's got time for
waifs and strays

 

(Bridge)
She retrieves his phone number from a bread bin
And gently taps all the digits in
His voice cuts through the pregnant silence  
It's a start and all starts find a way

 

(Chorus) x 1 voice
Love lives
Life loves
It finds its way,
It may not seem like it
But it's got time for
waifs and strays

 

(Chorus) x 2 voices (male plus female)

 

Love lives
Life loves
It finds its way,
It may not seem like it
But it's got time for
waifs and strays

 

(Chorus) x multiple voices

 

Love lives
Life loves
It finds its way,
It may not seem like it
But it's got time for
waifs and strays

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When The Sun Shows In A New Day

 

When the sun shows in a new day and the night has moved along

Launch your dreams with passion blazing, be inspired by the dawn

When the evening comes and takes you at a time that seems too soon

Let your spirit find contentment underneath a silver moon

 

Don’t think the winds of fortune chance the blessed or the few

Every flower’s a child of morning, scattering seeds to start anew

Restless aspirations are like sun’s rays on the moon

On reflection they bring enlightenment as they move your spirit through

 

May the sun shine down upon you and may you be just like the moon

Reflecting sunlight back to everyone, in all its many hues

 

Never let the sunrise find you frightened and alone

Nightmares are just dreams that roll with semi precious stones

Sometimes you’ll find a diamond, that’ll help you tough it through

That’s where you’ll find contentment underneath a silver moon

 

Restless aspirations are like sun’s rays on the moon

On reflection they bring enlightenment as they move your spirit through

 

May the sun shine down upon you and may you be just like the moon

Reflecting sunlight back to everyone, in all its many hues

May the sun shine down upon you and may you be just like the moon

Reflecting sunlight back to everyone, in all its many hues

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

COLLECTION


Look at my fun gun collection
Such a sense of self protection
So many sizes and bores
I’m oozing bullets through my pores

 

Look at my fun gun collection
Got an got a semi-automatic section
Don’t make me put them all away
Gunfire gets me through the day

 

By the way, wont you join my sect?
Theres' a voice inside that says I must collect
Weapons to be ready for the end
Raise a Kool-aid glass and toast to it my friend!

 

Look at my fun gun collection
Give em a good close inspection
Silencers targets and tin cans
Pry them from my cold dead hands!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

SNAKE IN THE GRASS

 

VERSE
The weeds must be a'sproutin'
Cuz I don't see you slithering about
I don't hear you rattling around
No, you're a crafty bugger
And I know you're the real smug sort
I may be a patient fellow
But don't make me resort to

 

CHORUS
Catching you by your tail
You shoulda taken the dirt trail
If you knew what was good for ya
Now you're the snake in the grass
You won't get no free pass

 

VERSE
The forked-tongued bs you're peddling's
Got nothing on the affairs you're meddlin' with
Well word's spreading 'round
You stake out in the brush
Waiting to snag a special waifer
For now ya might be running amok
One day you'll might meet your maker

 

CHORUS
Catching you by your tail
You shoulda taken the dirt trail
If you knew what was good for ya
Now you're the snake in the grass
You won't get no free pass

 

BRIDGE
This ain't no long-standing spat
As if it goes way way way way back
I just caught ya eyeing the feast;
That old bird house atop my tree

 

Got any last requests?
Cuz I got real invested in

 

CHORUS
Catching you by your tail
You shoulda taken the dirt trail
If you knew what was good for ya
Now you're the snake in the grass
You won't get no free pass

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Another Stop, Another Road

 

Blue jean desperation

Hanging on a dresser drawer

Two pair of empty boots

Scattered across the floor

I pay the painted lady

Behind gemstone beads

The scent of her perfume

Will linger on my sleeves

Her bed’s warm

And her whiskey’s old

Turnstile faces all pass the same

 

Another stop, another road

Have you ever really been alone

 

In the concrete madness

I hear the guitar bands

I watch the college sweethearts

Strut by a homeless man

Police sirens echo

Through the hip hop beat

Bar lights in neon  

Glimmer on the dirty street

I drop some coins

In a cup he holds

Turnstile faces all pass the same  

 

Another stop, another road

Have you ever really been alone

 

There're pockets full of empty

On the pavement grey

Where traffic lights turn lonesome

     There’s a woman’s touch, a daughter’s

     Tears along the way

     Now I belong to no one

Aimless footsteps shamble on

I’m a stranger in

The crossing green

Another stop, another road, yeah   

But isn't everything   

 

I sit in silver shadows

Of a corner booth

While a dark haired lady

Sings the midnight blues

Her six string case open for  

A tip jar song’s worth

There was a man, he left

She never heard another word

Outside I turn my collar  

Up to the cold, cold, cold

Turnstile faces all pass the same

 

Another stop, another road

Have you ever really been alone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fighters and Flyers

 

V1

I read in the paper this morning

Big bold letters on the front-page, headline.

“Young Military Pilot Crashes…

On Fly-By, Scattering his Father’s Ashes.”

 

Thought about this crazy world.

Peripheral moments I take for granted.

Each day is walking on a thin line…

Is there really such a thing as “See you next time?”

 

Chorus

If today, was your last day…and you knew it,

What would you do with it?

Would you cry out mayday, try to save it…

Or just stay silent?

I wish I could have asked that pilot.

 

V2

Top story on the news this evening:

“Six soldiers killed on a mountain-side.”

They radioed the enemy was coming…

They never once thought about running.

 

I wonder what those soldiers were feeling,

Holding that ground till the last one fell.

Did they know that the end was upon them?...

When fire started raining down among them?

 

Chorus

If today, was your last day…and you knew it,

What would you do with it?

Would you go down like a hero on the mountain…

Or leave your rifle on your shoulder?

I wish I could have asked those soldiers.

 

V3

I lay in my bed tonight.

I think of all the days I’ve wasted.

Worried about all the things I can’t change…

Until the whole practice starts to feels strange.

 

My mind drifts to fighters and flyers.

Pushing like Hell to the bitter end.

And crazy as it sounds, I envy them…

Living for the day right in front of them.

 

Chorus

If today, was my last day…and I knew it,

What would I do with it?

Would I take to the sky for a fly-by?

Would I hold my ground?

Fight till they cut me down?

 

Outro

Like the fighters and the flyers I want to be,

Living for the day right in front of me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Move Along

 

V1

In another time

another scene

The lights were bright

flashing green

The sun was warm

promise in the air

Horizons limitless

hope everywhere

 

PC 1

The fair-haired child it seemed had the world at his feet

When Bob’s you uncle and you burn with white heat

 

Chorus

But just move along, there ain’t nothin’ to see here

It’s all gone wrong, that much has become clear

All the lights from green to red

All that’s born is one day dead

So just move along, move along, move along

 

V2

But that was then

and this is now

I won’t bore you

with the why & how

Suffice to say

hope is lost

No turning back now

the Rubicon’s been crossed

 

PC 2

The Ides of March have felled our fortunate son

No looking back now cause you know the deed is done

 

Chorus

So just move along, there ain’t nothin’ to see here

It’s all gone wrong, that much has become clear

All the lights from green to red

All that’s born is one day dead

So just move along, move along, move along

 

V3

What began with promise

and fanfare

Has turned to ashes

vanished in the air

Was the gift

an albatross?

Wasted talent

our greatest loss

 

PC 3

The saddest words of tongue or pen

Will always be ‘what might have been’

 

Chorus

So just move along there, ain’t nothin’ to see here

It’s all gone wrong, that much has become clear

All the lights from green to red

All that’s born is one day dead

So just move along, move along, move along

So just move along, move along, move along

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I Couldn't Find You

 

Please don't you tell me why you're here

When you left you made it oh so clear

There was nothing for you here

And then you just disappear

 I looked for you everywhere

I couldn't find you anywhere

 

 

Please don't tell me that you lied

When you said our love had died

How I tried and tried

To find a place to hide

I looked for you everywhere

I couldn't find you anywhere

 

 

I looked for you

Couldn't find you

Used to plead

 

Used to swear

Now I don't care

I just don't care

 

 Please don't tell me those words you said

That night we lay in bed

You said that our love was dead

Your words still echo in my head

 

I looked for you everywhere

I couldn't find you anywhere

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I"LL BE YOUR CUP OF COFFEE

 

V1:

I'll be your cup of coffee

So dark and very hot

I'll pry your wide eyes open dear

And pour another shot                    

You say you like to nibble

Well....have a snack or two                    

And if you're really hungry        

I'll show what I can do                                      

 

Chorus:

I'll be on your menu

Every day and night

Satisfy your hunger

When you need a bite

So baby don't you worry

I'm your healthy choice 

Serving up a steaming cup                                         

Each time I hear your voice

 

V2:

I will be your lollipop           

You can be my stick                 

And if you ask me pretty please

I'll let you have a lick

I'll be your Chinese takeout

So  when you've had your fill             

An hour later you'll come back    

To taste another thrill     

 

Bridge:

I'm thinking we'll be dining in

We won't have far to go

So I've prepared a four star feast

And here's what you should know

 

V3: 

Don't need no fancy dinner             

I've got a better plan                  

I'll illustrate the choices  

To  help you understand     

And then your drink of whiskey

Will  take away your breath

And leave you warm and woozy

To help you to forget

 

Chorus:

I'll be on your menu

Every day and night

Satisfy your hunger

When you need a bite

So baby don't you worry

I'm  your healthy choice 

Serving up a steaming cup   

Each time  I hear your voice

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wub.gif August Voting blush.gif
 
blush.gifTIME TO SCORE!wub.gif
 
• Voting (scorecards) will take place
Wednesday - August 29  through ---------   Tuesday - September 4 Midnight (PST) 

 

• I'll post the results on 

Wednesday- September 5

 

PLEASE READ BEFORE SUBMITTING YOUR SCORES:

1. Please title your post, "LYRIC SCORES."

2. When you send me your scores, put the number to the left of the song title, like this: "1.5 - Song Title."

3. Also important…leave a blank spot for your song, but keep the title in the list.

 

For example, if your song title is "Cat Puke Soup," your scores should look like this:

4.5 Song Title

3.0 Song Title

...Cat Puke Soup

1.5 Song Title

 

4. Please read and rate each lyric using the scoring table below (Scores of 1.0 and 5.0 should be rare). Copy and paste the list at the bottom of this post and insert your score to the left of each title.

 

Then send your scores to me them to me (iggy) in a Private Message before  

Midnight (PDT) September 4

 

- Do not rank the songs, from 5 down to 1; use the criteria below

- Do not rank the songs against each other; use the criteria below

- Do not score your own lyric

 

excl.gifblink.gif
If you are a contestant,
you must provide scores
or your entry will be disqualified 
blink.gifexcl.gif
 
Ask yourself how well the lyric flows/rhymes. Does it create emotions? Can you imagine it set to music?

 

1.0 - Excellent.

1.5 - Almost Excellent

2.0 - Very Good

2.5 - Good

3.0 - Above Average

3.5 - Average

4.0 - Below Average

4.5 - Poor

5.0 - Very Poor

 

 

Here are the lyrics:

  • You Got The Wheel But I Took The Keys
  • I Will Be
  • Clause 5, Sub-Paragraph d)
  • Home is You
  • Love lives
  • When The Sun Shows In A New Day
  • Collection
  • Snake In The Grass
  • Another Stop, Another Road
  • Fighters and Flyers
  • Move Along
  • I Couldn't Find You
  • I'll Be Your Cup Of Coffee

*****************

Please vote -  even if you don't have an entry

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:oAUGUST Contest Results:o

*****:blink:Congratulations:rolleyes:*****

The Winners Are:

*****

:P :P:P:P:P

 

 

:wub:GOLD:wub:

:DYou Got The Wheel But I Took The Keys - Kuya:D

***************************** 

:lol: SILVER:lol:

:PHome Is You - Peko:P

***************************

:unsure:BRONZE:)

:lol:Another Stop, Another Road - 9th Street Line:lol:

 

 

********

 

     
   
   
You Got The Wheel But I Took The Keys Kuya 3.5 1.5 3.5 3.5 2 2.5 1.5 2.5 3 2.5 2 3 2.5 3 2 38.5
Home is You Peko 2.5 2.5 2 3.5 3.5 2.5 2 3 2.5 1.5 3 2.5 3.5 2.5 3 40
Another Stop, Another Road 9thStreet Line 3 2.5 2.5 3.5 2 3.5 1.5 2.5 3.5 2.5 3.5 2.5 3.5 1 3 40.5
Fighters and Flyers Discatticus 3 2.5 2.5 2.5 3 3.5 2 2 2 3.5 3.5 1.5 3.5 3.5 4 42.5
I Will Be LyriCal 2.5 3.5 2.5 2 2.5 3.5 2.5 3 3.5 3 3 3.5 3 2 3 43
When The Sun Shows In A New Day Joh Voorpostel 2 2.5 2.5 4 3 3.5 2.5 3 3 2 3.5 2.5 3 2.5 3.5 43
Love lives Songwolfe 2 3 2.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 3 3 3 3.5 3.5 2.5 3.5 3.5 4 47.5
Clause 5, Sub-Paragraph d) Borgos 3 2.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 4 2.5 2.5 3.5 3.5 3 3 4 3.5 3.5 49
Collection FabKebab 3.5 3 4 4 4 3 3.5 3 2.5 3 4 3.5 3 4 4 52
Snake In The Grass Boldly Rimmed 3.5 3 3 4 4 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 2.5 3 4 4.5 52.5
I Couldn't Find You Musical Key 3.5 3.5 3 3.5 4 3.5 4.5 4 3.5 3.5 3.5 2.5 3 4 4 53.5

 

 

Also 

I'll Be Your Cup Of Coffee and Move Along  were disqualified......

 

Special Thanks to all the non contestants that voted....MUCH APPRECIATED!!!

iggy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congrats, Kuya and 9th Street Line!

 

Kuya, I thought your Bridge was especially good, and 9th Street Line, your lyric was packed with images.  Nice work.

 

And thanks to those of you who liked Home is You. This song has music, and I will post a link shortly, if you'd like to hear it.

 

One of my favorites this time was I Will Be by LyriCal.  I can hear that as a classic wedding song. I also thought Fighters and Flyers was really good.  Tough competition!

 

Thanks to all who participated and voted.

 

Iggy--I didn't mean to leave you out!  We wouldn't have had this contest without you, so thanks for all the organizing and calculations.  Much appreciated!

 

Patty

 

 

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Iggy, thanks for running things.

 

Congratulations to Kuya, Peko, and 9th Street, all of whom I scored highly this month. Peko, I had "Home is You" pegged as the winner this month, not to take anything away from Kuya.

 

Kuya-I can't wait to hear your lyrics put to music. This had a Jason Isbell quality to it that I really liked.

 

Peko-Touching stuff here. Ellis Paul has a song called, "Home" with similar sentiments. I'd put this one right up there with it.

 

9th Street- Those lyrics would be right at home on a Townes Van Zandt record. The lonesome imagery you create...the smoke-filled ache...Super impressed. 

 

The other standout for me this time was John's "When the Sun Shows in a New Day."....Great use of language.

 

I was pleased with how "Fighters and Flyers" did. To whomever scored me a 1.5, thanks! To whomever scored me a 4, I'd greatly appreciate hearing your thoughts on how to improve. :) Fun contest. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd like to thank my New York literary agent, Levi Jacobson. .  .:)

 

Congrats, Kuya, and nice writing everyone. I particularly liked "Fighters and Flyers" by discatticus, Patty's "Home is You," and I enjoyed the satire of "Collection" by fabkabob. 

Thx Iggy, and everyone that gave them a read and a thought.

 

Ed

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congratulations to Kuya, Peko, and 9th Street Line, and also thanks to Iggy for running the contest.  :)

 

Some good entries again this month. My top 3 were 'You got the wheel but I took the keys', 'Another stop, another road', and 'I will be'.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congratulations Kuya, Peko, & 9th Street. And a special shout out for Collection...short, to the point, and not at all preachy because of the satirical approach...and invoking Heston to end it all was IMO genius....

 

And of course Iggy, thanks once again for putting it all together

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

         congratulations to Peko (Patty) and 9th Street Line for the wins!  Both excellent lyrics.  And thank you Iggy for riding herd  another month.  I haven't won in over a year. I was kind of resigning myself to also ran status with all the talent we have here. 

         I didn't really think "Wheel" could beat "Home is you"  by Patty and "When the sun shows in a new day"  by John V. and "Love lives"  by SongWolfe and "I will be" by LyriCal.  These were my favorites to win. 

          There was plenty to like in every entry. Hopefully we'll discuss more in the Lyric Feedback section.  Nobody got a 4 from me. 

           Thank you for the votes and kind words for You Got The Wheel. I'd love to hear it myself, or anything I write.  I hear it as a country song with a sassy female vocal, such as Miranda.  Drunk Driving. Not good. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congratulations to kuya, Patty and 9th Street line! My high score went to kuya's -- such a great way to convey such a "key" message. We didn't have as many entries as we've been getting (August vacations?) but I thought it was a super solid bunch. I gave a whole lot of 2.5's. My second favorite was Coffee, but alas, it was mysteriously disqualified... Well, thanks, iggy, for once again running the show! ;)

 

--Doug

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congrats to the winners!

 

I had "Fighters and Flyers" and one of the disqualified lyric as top picks ("...Cup of Coffee"). "...I took the keys" was my second highest pick along with a couple of others. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well done everyone :)

I had no skin in the game this month but I scored these three tied for top spot:
 

You Got The Wheel But I Took The Keys
Move Along
I'll Be Your Cup Of Coffee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, I just posted a SoundCloud link to Home is You in the Lyrics Critique section.  All comments are welcome.

 

Patty

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was robbed - surely my lyric wasnt so bad - I have been getting quite a few laughs (and hard stares) when I play this in my Texas open mic venue!!

 

Well done to the winners 

 

I voted my top songs as "Another stop, another road" and "You got the wheel but I got the keys"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought it was pretty clever, Fab.  Right on target. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kuya,I suspected you had written the first lyric this month because it had the same unusual format as another of your recent compositions. Of course, everything is clearer when you're looking up from the bottom! (I knew shouldn't have entered but I had  submit-it-itis)

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello A Musical Key

      I also suffer from submit-itus.  I think just knowing there's a contest coming up again in about ten days creates for me a sense of urgency to be in the mix by participating.  

       I generally have at least a dozen lyrics that are in various stages of development and maybe another dozen or so that might be no more than a line or a title or idea. I think of these all as the boneyard. I wander around in the boneyard -not every day- but as often as I'm in the mood and I try to look at as many as I can to see if I have anything to add.  I might make a couple changes or additions to one and then move on to the next.  This one here -you got the wheel- i made no changes to for a month or more, so i figured it was done. 

          Knowing there's a contest coming up makes me try to focus on one or two to get them presentable.  The contest imposes that little bit of discipline to have at least one good to go.  So in that sense the contests help. Others seem to agree.

           Yours wasn't bad. A fifteen point spread is actually fairly tight. It's tough getting all 4 lines of a verse to share the same rhyme without it looking forced. The simple idea  or theme  you used is relatable and made the pov sympathetic.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×