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                                                                 Okay, so I wrote this last night around 1:00 in the morning, so sorry if its a little ify but I was a bit tired. Maybe you guys can help me smooth it out some but anyways:


Verse 1:

"I let you in,

thinking my lips wouldn't bruise when I kiss you

I puff out my chest,

but I'm telling you right now I miss you."

"We go from sad to sadder,

Convince our selves we are better, 

than this, we spit

on each other

we fight like we're lovers

but I'm feeling smothered , 

too much,

too much,

too many, mistakes already

This kind of thing, it gets heavy."

"The late nights, tired eyes

"take me home's"

it's no surprise to me.

too much ,

too much,

too many."


Okay so keep in mind this is just the first verse, and this song has a sadder tone too it, and the sound is kind of more indie sounding. For refrence you can listen to Zhavia or Billie Eilish, we have kind of the same sound in music. 






Edited by Neal K

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Hi Becca. It looks more like a verse and chorus to me, given your title. Its pretty vague, what the problem really is. You feel smothered,  You fight. You've been burned before. I like the flow better with fewer words, avoid miss you kiss you cliche.  Here's one stab at it. Don't use quotation marks for something you wrote, give yourself credit.




I let you in

thinking my skin wouldn't bruise 

I puff out my chest

but I'm telling you right now I miss you

We go from sad to sadder

Convince ourselves we're better 

than this

we breath like lovers

Til I'm feeling smothered  

when will I see you again 


too much

too much

too many mistakes already

now it's all too heavy

too much

too much

Too many times Ive listened

Your late night lies

Jingle In my ears

like a pocket full

of pennies

too much

too much

too many 

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