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July song competition

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Welcome to the July Song Contest – an open format contest.

 

For any newcomers, open format means the entry can be at any production level - from just you and your guitar to a fully orchestrated masterpiece :)

 

TO ENTER: You must post your song in this thread.

 

The timeline is as follows:

• Entries will be accepted now through Midnight Pacific Standard Time (PST) , JULY 28, 2018.

• Voting (scorecards) will take place JULY 29 through Midnight PST  AUG 2, 2018.

• Please don’t start scoring until I officially post the scoring instructions.

• You must score all other entries or your entry will be disqualified from the contest - just saying!

• I'll post the results shortly after scoring is completed.

 

If you plan to enter, please review the revised rules, pinned in this forum.

 

When posting your song to the Songs Feedback Forum, please include:

•song title

•writer credits (If it’s a collab with another Muser please make that clear by including their M/M id)

•audio link

 

Please include the lyrics on your post. Videos are permitted. (Voters are encouraged to refrain from watching any video until after they've scored the song.) All Musers are welcome to submit songs as contestants or score the songs as non-contestants. Any questions or problems should be sent to me (Neal K) via private message (PM).

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We're born into this life
We get old, and then we die
And there's hardly any time between
We learn to sing a song
Then it's over, and we're gone
Life is such a fleeting thing

 

From one to ninety-two
All the candles we go through!
Thinking treasure's buried in the cake

By the time of our demise
We've got pennies in our eyes
Life is such a fleeting thing

 

How will the world remember you?
The things you say?
The things you do?
Will you be kind?
Will you be cruel?
It's up to you
It's up to you

 

We're born into this life
We get old, and then we die
Life is such a fleeting
I think it bears repeating
Life is such a fleeting thing.

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Words and Music by Dominick B. Giarraputo © Copyright 2018

 

Kinda Crazy

 

V1 
Well I know this sounds kinda crazy 
But I love you more when you’re gone
The farther I’m away from you
The closer I get to you
This crazy love of mine is upside down

 

V2

Well I hope you don’t think I’m lazy
Cause I love you more when you’re gone
When the miles keep us apart
They energize my heart
I love you more when you’re not around

 

Bridge:
But when you walk out that door
You really can’t blame me
I just love you more than I can say
So let me make it very clear
I’m dyin’ for your touch
But I love you so much more
when you’ve gone away

 

V3 
Yeah, I know this sounds kinda crazy 
Cause I love you more when you’re gone
And the farther I’m away from you
The closer I get to you
And I hope you feel the same way, too

 

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"10,000,000,000"

https://www.hobosage.com/tenbillion

 

You can bring up the printed lyric by clicking on the music player icon that's looks like a musical note with page lines to the right.

 

Thanks to Fabkebab for running the show.

 

David

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Venom & Vitriol
(c)2013, 2016 David S. Becker Music
All Rights Reserved

 


Verse 1
With looks that kill
She walked and left me hangin'
She tied the noose so tight
And every check I write
A cold reminder
Of all those sleepless

Chorus
Nights we've spent together
Filled with venom
And vitriol
For better or for worse
It sounds so hollow
When you hit a wall
I'm trying to remember exactly why I said "I do"
Things would be so peaceful
Had I never
Met you

Verse 2
I can't get past the anger and frustration
That bitch she bled me dry
Most days I drown myself inside a bottle
And all those sleepless

Chorus
Solo
Bridge

I miss her so much
She was always right
I loved her truly
Ah, but those sleepless
 

Chorus

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THE UNDERGROUND

 

Words & Music ©2018 by Ron Tintner, ASCAP

 

We’re in The Underground, a New York busker band

We play at subway stops from 42nd Street to Amsterdam

No day jobs, we’re not waiters, we don't wash floors 

We make our money makin' music all day, can't ask for more

On good days, our best days, we get cases filled with cash

But even bad days, our worst days, we're still havin’ a freakin’ blast

 

CHORUS:

Life ain’t quite the way we planned

But we're makin’ our living in a rock and roll band

We’ve got our songs and we've got our sound

We're doing what we want…  In The Underground

 

We don't pay to play, pretending that'll make us big

And all those bands that do, finally figure out they're worthless gigs

Sweatin' day jobs…  just to cover food and rent

Gettin’ so burned-out, they wonder where the music went

On good days, their best days, they’re almost feeling fine

And on bad days, their worst days, they're headin’ for the exit sign

 

CHORUS

 

BRIDGE:

We’ve still got our dreams

Of getting to the top

But even if they don't come true

We’ll never stop

 

CHORUS

 

Tag: In The Underground…

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Here's a song about an all-too-common-occurrence these days:   Active Shooter

 

Verse 1:

Doin’ time in my cubicle 
Here come the reaper down the hall
Should’ve punched out ‘round happy hour
Looks like he’s comin’ for us all!

 

Verse 2:

No movie sound effects of ricochet!
No smoke and mirrors, just shock and awe.
Flying metal through my ergonomic office chair
Knuckles white and fingers claw!

 

Chorus:

You’ve got to Run! Run, from the man with the gun! 
He don’t care ‘bout your situation.
Run! Run! or you’ll never see the sun 
come up again, no not again …. Wait! No, no. no, no!

 

Bridge:

I always thought it’d be the other guy.
Can’t I just - work - myself to death … instead?
Why must you come in here and vent all your frustration?
With your language of lead?

 

 

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Silver Tongue

 

Music/Lyrics by Steve Ison/Pete Churchill

 

He was a wanderer from London Town 
Chasing his tale from bar to bar 
and though his stories were long 
they wove into song 
and sang out beneath the stars 
and every night he would dream his dream 
of a woman who was the one 

WITH A GLINT OF THE POET IN HER EYES 
AND THE GIFT OF A SILVER TONGUE 

She was the Belle of the Brighton ball 
She had the world at her perfumed feet 
With all her diamonds and pearls,Princes and Earls 
You'd think that her life was sweet 
but every night she would dream her dream 
of a lover who'd bring the sun 

WITH A GLINT OF THE POET IN HIS EYES 
AND THE GIFT OF A SILVER TONGUE 

Upon a winters night as the snow was faling 
She heard a voice that wove into song 
and as a wanderers face came through the dark 
A dream begun... 


He was a wanderer from London Town 
She was the Belle of the Brighton ball 
and though their worlds were apart 
they knew in their heart 
A love that could conquer all 
So every night now they dream their dreams 
As the music plays on and on 

WITH A GLINT OF THE POET IN THEIR EYES 
AND THE GIFT OF A SILVER TONGUE 
WITH A GLINT OF THE POET IN THEIR EYES 
AND THE GIFT OF A SILVER TONGUE 
WITH A GLINT OF THE POET IN THEIR EYES 
AND THE GIFT OF A SILVER TONGUE 
WITH A GLINT OF THE POET IN THEIR EYES 
AND THE GIFT OF A SILVER TONGUE !!

 

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Prima Donna 

Lyrics, Music, Performance by Jason Kalman

 

I took this job
To pay the bills
But what I found
Was a girl that kills

 

She walks around
Like she owns this town
Like an actor
Winning an Oscar

 

Prima Donna is what you are to me
Prima Donna you're not very nice to me

 

She said: “You see,
That’s not my job
And you’re not my boss
So kiss off”

But that’s ok
That’s just fine
Cause I know one day
She’ll be mine

 

Prima Donna is what you are to me
Prima Donna you're not very nice to me

 

When you would walk by in the hallway
You never thought to say hello
As if I was insane
Somehow a criminal 
I wanna be a superhero
So you could be my Louise Lane

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Bullets and Lovers

Lyrics/Melody: Eric Borgos
Music/Vocals: Elliott Sheridan

 

Verse 1:
It started out small
first a watch, then a hat
snuck out of the store
was as easy as that

Next came a car
then a small liquor store
every new hit
left them thirsting for more

More money
more power
eating life's buffet
much better to burn out
than fade away

Chorus:
Bullets and lovers
danger and lies
we all live in a world
where everyone dies

No chance for salvation
just waiting in vain
the light at the end of the tunnel
is sometimes a train

Verse 2:
Soon they were famous
plastered on the news page
the people they hurt
the heists they had made

No rules to this game
just the thrill of the ride
crossing that line
down into the dark side

Wild and reckless
they just wanted some fun
partners in crime
living life on the run

Chorus:
Bullets and lovers
danger and lies
we all live in a world
where everyone dies

No chance for salvation
just waiting in vain
the light at the end of the tunnel
is sometimes a train

No hope for salvation
just waiting in vain
we cry in the darkness
and live with the pain
 

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THE MOON IS SCHEMING  : Malin Helmman : voice, lyrics. Tanguy Thoveron (zeligovitch) : piano, guitar , music, lyrics :
 
The moon is scheming tonight
The earth is tilting while the tide is turning
Everything's under water but a slight
Perception of your phrame  that's emerging
Only fate, now and us.
 
The dark that scares the world is dimmed by the reflection of the warm ocean
A glimmer of the light that shows your shape
But  lets your secrets escape into the blackness
But the future is so bright.
 
Chorus : 
By choosing the moment when the dark is right
I have lost myself but not my night
 
The sea is spreading its waves
And in the mighty swell 
Our bodies  by inertia
My hand silhouetted against the moon.
Is shadowing some places that could be mine soon
In the water far and near.
Chorus
 
But now the sun is rising
The mystery is gone. Everything's clear
This obviousness is all I fear
All I want to hide from
So I'm waiting
For the darkness , the waves and us. 

 

 

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Bleed

 

By Ben Hewerdine 

 

 

 

I'm an ant invested, son of a gun, a rock magician and free

 

I'm a toothless honky, schizophrenic, a rubber neckless in need

 

I don't know where I stand

I don't know where I stand

 

I'm an unemployed, credit card junky, a high school flunky who breaths

 

I can't take it no more, the siege on the shore is beat.

 

I don't know where I stand

I don't know where I stand

 

One day I'll sing to a room of people who repeat everything I say

I won't spray I'll bleed

 

I don't know where I stand

I don't know where I stand

 

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https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13608976.

 

The Jesus I know
©
2014
By Donnie Priest

 

Stone in hand they stood around her
This man appeared, she didn’t know
From the middle of the angry crowd
He looked right into their soul
He said, what gives you the right to judge?
Who among you has no sin?
How can you hold onto a grudge?
Drop those stones from your hand

 

(chorus)
Jesus longs for us to choose 
Why do you hesitate?
Don’t turn your back on perfect love
There’s no reason to be afraid
All you have to do is believe
The price was paid long ago
Just come as you are
That’s the Jesus I know

 

The people followed Jesus to the mount
He tried to teach them, how to live
Love your neighbor as yourself 
Give them what you have to give
He said, I am the way and the light
All the world, I come to save
Heaven is such a beautiful sight
I’ve come to show you the way

 

(chorus)
Jesus longs for us to choose 
Why do you hesitate?
Don’t turn your back on perfect love
There’s no reason to be afraid
All you have to do is believe
The price was paid long ago
Just come as you are
That’s the Jesus I know

 

The people gathered all around him
They all came, wanting to see
The Savor beaten and dying
Hanging from the blood stained tree
He said, forgive them, they know not what they do
With his last dying breath
In three days he arose from the tomb
For us all, he defeated death

 

(chorus)
Jesus is longs for us to choose 
Why do you hesitate?
Don’t turn your back on perfect love
There’s no reason to be afraid
All you have to do is believe
The price was paid long ago
Just come as you are
That’s the Jesus I know
The price was paid lone ago
That’s the Jesus I know
 

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I keep getting sucked into these contests....

 

LONG

 

From the past a forgotten photo

Seems like another life

Oh-so-young, what did we know

No concern about passing time

 

Before we knew it we got older

Friends often drift apart

Responsibilities on our shoulders

Every day life gets hard

 

Long

I long to go back, see those friends and reminisce

Long

I long to go back, to the days of innocence

Long, long ago, so long ago

 

My mind is full of snapshots, clear memories

The people I knew, the ones I loved, a golden treasury

Now things have started to fade, it’s been so long, been so long

 

Always said we would never grow up

Time would not slow us down

Eventually comes the final cut

And no one else is around

 

Long

I long to go back, see those friends I miss

Long

I long to go back, to those days of innocence

Long, long ago, so long ago

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This is a gallows humor piece...and a collaboration between kuya (lyrics) and short order kook (music)

 

The Meanest Man of All

 

https://soundcloud.com/user-475660365/the-meanest-man-of-all

 

Let me tell you a story about the meanest man I know     V

Caught his woman in his bed with a dirty so and so

And so he killed his woman he ran his baby through

He killed the dirty so and so the cat and chickens too

 

          You see some man born for pleasure   CH

          And some man born for pain   

 

          Some man born to do bad things

          You catchin'  what I'm saying? 

 

          Some man  meant to rise up

          Some man born to fall

 

          But the man who's bound for prison

          He's the meanest man of all 

 

I asked him why'd ya do it?  Why'd you take their life?       V

Why waste your time inside of here when you could get another wife?

The man said listen fella said I haven't got a clue

Seemed as if it had to be ain't nothing I could do

 

          You see some man born for pleasure  CH

          And some man  born for pain   

 

          Some man born to do bad things

          You catchin' what I'm saying? 

 

          Some man meant to rise up

          Some man born to fall

 

          But the man who's  bound  for prison

          He's the meanest man of all 

    

I know a  guy who tortures  and torture's pretty mean    V

Stabbing shooting ain't enough if you're MS13

That hombre he's a mean one but he's not as mean as me

I killed and cooked my woman and I fed her family

 

😜

 

 

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WITHOUT YOU (Jambrains)

https://soundcloud.com/jambrains/without-you

 

I can still recall the playground
by the Wal-Mart parking lot
a browned-eyed girl with freckles 
Hand in mine in our secret spot
We used to share a Mars bar
when it was all we could afford
This town was all we knew about
the world not yet explored

 

Now the ships are sailing
as the tide is turning
but I just can not leave 
not without you 
without you
A Greyhound ticket
in my back pocket
but I just can not leave
not without you
without you

 

Sitting on the railway bridge
where the trains no longer go
We watched the burning sunset
then jumped into the stream below 
And later by the riverside
our jeans hung up to dry
I kissed you for the first time
beneath the starry sky

 

Now the ships are sailing
as the tide is turning
but I just can not leave 
not without you 
without you
A Greyhound ticket
in my back pocket
but I just can not leave
not without you
without you

 

You dropped out of high school
and I barely made it through
Cos who needs books and rulers 
when the world's waiting for you
These days I work construction
and nights you work the bar
but our pockets are still empty
dreams only go so far

 

Now the ships are sailing
as the tide is turning
but I just can not leave 
not without you 
without you
A Greyhound ticket
in my back pocket
but I just can not leave
not without you
without you

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Leave a little light

 

 

 

 

Look at us know, I don’t know how

We got to this stage, we got to the end

I won’t hit send, It may be naive
I pretend that you’ll be calling me and asking for some more of me again

But while we’re in the darkness I’m asking you regardless to...

 

Leave a little, light on
Guide me through the dark, escape the night

Give me hope to, hold on
Lead me somewhere I can make it right
Just leave a little light

 

I know it’s not, a thing that has got

Legs that it needs, to carry us through

So I’m just a fool, for thinking that you’ll
Ever want to see me, that you would ever need me again

But while we’re in the darkness I’m asking you regardless to...

 

Leave a little, light on
Guide me through the dark, escape the night

Give me hope to, hold on
Lead me somewhere I can make it right
Just leave a little light

 

If I said I was sorry
If I told you I had grown
Would you forgive me my folly?

And rescue me from darkness, forgive and take me back to your home...

 

Leave a little, light on
Guide me through the dark, escape the night

Give me hope to, hold on
Lead me somewhere I can make it right
Just leave a little light

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Ok everyone - thanks for all of your entries -

 

Now it is time to score!  

 

Please read the scoring rules carefully  

How to score:

Score each song this way:

 

10 - This is the best song I have ever heard in my entire life

2...9 - Somewhere in between...

1 - This song needs a complete overhaul IMHO

 

Put your score for each song to the left of the title and send it to me via PM.

 

Don't score your own song - it may or may not be given the average of the scores you give others  

So the list you PM to me should look like this:

 

8 - Song Title 1

5 - Song Title 2

8.5 - Song Title 3

 etc...

 

Here is the list of entries (did you read the scoring instructions? :-):

 

Life is a fleeting thing - PaulCanuck

Kinda crazy - Moptop

10,000,000 - HoboSage

Venom & Vitriol - GocartMoz

The Underground - neuroron

Active Shooter - RoadDog

Silver Tongue - ScenesFromPalacio

Prima Donna - Jason Kalman

Bullets and Lovers - Eric Burgos

The Moon Is Scheming - Zeligovitch

Bleed - Qindfish

The Jesus I know - Donnie

Long - Mike B

The Meanest Man Of All - Short Order Kook

Without You - Jambrains

Leave A Little Light - Murphster

 

I decided to extend the voting period vs. what I originally posted, to give plenty of time to enjoy and evaluate the songs - You have until Midnight PST, Sunday  AUG 5 , 2018 to send me your scores.

 

Good luck everyone!

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There are still over 12 hours left for submitting scores!!

 

Note that I am still awaiting a response from two of the contenders. If you have not received a confirmation from me, please resend your scores!!!

 

 

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Ok everyone.... here are the winners.... drumroll, etc

 

 

 

Congratulations to

 

Jambrains, who wins gold and

 

HoboSage who is this months runner up

 

 

 

Here are the scores, randomized of course...

 

Without You - Jambrains 127 7 9.5 9 7 7 7 8 8 7.5 7 5 8.5 7 6.5 8.5 6.5 8
10,000,000 - HobosAGE 120.5 8.5 8.5 9 7 8 8 8 7 7 7 7.5 6 6 5 8 5 5
Silver Tongue - ScenesFromPalacio 120 8 9 8.5 5 10 6 9 8 6.5 6.5 7 7 5 6.5 9 5 4
Prima Donna - Jason Kalman 116 6 8 7.5 8 5 10 7 8 5.5 6.5 5.5 6 6 6 8 7 6
The Underground - neuroron 112.5 5.5 5 8 8 6 8.5 7 8.5 6 5 6 6.5 6.5 8 6 6 6
The Meanest Man Of All - Short Order Kook 112 4 7.5 8.5 8 6 7 7 8.5 7 5 7 6 4 5.5 9 5 7
Kinda crazy - Moptop 111.5 6.5 8 7 8 7 5 6 7.5 5.5 5 7 8 8 6 7 5 5
Venom & Vitriol - GocartMoz 110.5 5 7 8 6 6 6 6.5 8.5 7 5 6.5 6 5.5 6 6.5 7 8
Leave A Little Light - Murphster 110.5 3 7.5 9 7 5 8 7.5 8 5.5 6.5 5 5 7.5 7 7.5 5.5 6
Long - Mike B 107.5 5 7.5 8 7.5 6 6 5.5 8 5 5 6 8 6 5 8 6 5
Life is a fleeting thing - PaulCanuck 105 6 8 7 7.5 5 7 7.5 8 5 5 5 7.5 5 5 5 6.5 5
Bullets and Lovers - Eric Burgos 101.5 5 8.5 6.5 6 6 5 7 7 6 5.5 5 6.5 4 6.5 6 6 5
The Moon Is Scheming - Zeligovitch 85 3 7 6.5 7 7 5 5 7 4 6 3.5 4 2 5 5 3 5
Active Shooter - RoadDog 83.5 4 6.5 5 5 5 4 4 7 5 6 4 5.5 2 6 5 4.5 5
The Jesus I know - Donnie 75 3 4 7 5 4 5 4 5 5 4 3 5 2 6 4.5 5.5 3

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Here are my thoughts on each song:

 

Life is a fleeting thing - PaulCanuck - Reminds me of a Frank Sinatra song. Not a specific one, more like one I would hear if I were at one of his concerts (not that I have ever been to one).

 

Kinda crazy - Moptop - I like the overall sound of the song.

 

10,000,000 - HobosAGE - Great chorus and atmosphere for the whole song is also great.

 

Venom & Vitriol - GocartMoz - Great guitar playing and catchy.

 

The Underground - neuroron - Very catchy prechorus and chorus. I like lyrics. A classic rock and roll anthem.

 

Active Shooter - RoadDog - This topic has potential, and your lyrics generally capture the mood of it all, but something about it did not make me feel any emotions. Seems like you are telling a story more than feeling it.

 

Silver Tongue - ScenesFromPalacio - The polka-rock beat keeps it peppy and interesting. I was not sure what the lyrics are about though until I read them after the song was over (then I understood).

 

Prima Donna - Jason Kalman - Wow! Everything about this song is amazing. It starts off very catchy, the harmonies make it romantic and more catchy, and production is very clean. And the bridge is a great fit for the song.

 

The Moon Is Scheming - Zeligovitch - It starts of well, like it is about to lead up to something more, but then becomes more of the same. The problem with that is at a length of 5+ minutes, that is too long.

 

Bleed - Qindfish - I like the violin sounds. I don't understand this line "I won't spray I'll bleed", which seems important in the song. Also, I don't understand "ant invested".

 

The Jesus I know - Donnie - Hard to understand the lyrics at some points, maybe increase the volume of the vocals in your mix. I like the song title and the guitar playing.

 

Long - Mike B - I like the atmospheric guitar playing at the beginning of the song (and in the guitar solo).

 

The Meanest Man Of All - Short Order Kook - I like the music. Lyrically, I think the song would be better without this part at the end: "I know a guy who tortures and torture's pretty mean, Stabbing shooting ain't enough if you're MS13".  The end part is already a big enough surprise, and I think those 2 lines make it a little confusing, or at least take away from the impact of the final 2 lines (the important/shocking part).

 

Without You - Jambrains - It all comes together into a very catchy, enjoyable song.

 

Leave A Little Light - Murphster - It started out pleasant enough, but what a great surprise how you changed the music/pace of the song, and then changed it back again after the chorus.

 

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Thx Fab for running the show.  Fab job.  Happy to say I was clairvoyant this go around.  My top 3 were the top 3 in the contest though not exactly in the correct order.  I had David winning this one, with Steve a close second and Johan in 3d.  Tough to differentiate those 3.  All very good and very unique.  I think Steve's tune was my favorite of any I have heard from him and would have been a winner in any other contest absent David's and Johan's stellar songs.  David, what a great write.  The vocal performance was astounding.  Before I get comments about judging on performance, I thought the write was astounding,, as well.  Johan … tops, my friend.  Your songs get better and better!  Special mention to Moptop.  I enjoyed your song a lot.  Just pure poppy fun.

 

Thx again Fab.  Fun contest!

 

Dave

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I should also add a big thanks to Peko and Ironknee who were our non-contestant votes

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Well done Jambrains and Hobosage!  I had you both tied for first place.  Scenes, Jason Kalman and Murphster I had tied for second.  Thanks so much for hosting Fabkebab.  And thank you Ironknee and Peko for taking the time to listen and score.

 

Here are some of my notes on your songs:

 

Life is a fleeting thing - PaulCanuck:  Coming off the Truth Came Stumbling In is another song filled with lyrical wisdom.  The piano was professional and the singing parts were all well done.  Where did you get that macabre image?  The internet has anything you could possibly want!    I found the song was a little too straightlaced and square sounding for my taste (well that's to be expected when this month I was singing about murderers I guess), but amazing execution (no pun intended) as always.  

 

Kinda crazy - Moptop:  Love your lyrics.  I found them very relatable.  The song was well produced which I've come to expect from your work.  I don't have the best sound system, but I thought the song was pretty heavy in the treble range (singing and instrumentation), maybe it could use more balance with some bass range sounds?

 

10,000,000 - HoboSage:  Your song wanted me to get in a fast car and crank up the volume!  Unfortunately I own a Toyota Matrix and a Kia Sedona!  Maybe my favorite one that I've heard from you yet.  The drum parts were rocking--I swore I heard influence of Talking Heads, Genesis, and something else that I can't remember and didn't write down.  And the dystopian message was really on point with a good economy of words and repetition.  I love the little picture of the sheep with one sheep looking back as if to realize he's one of the sheeple.  

 

Venom & Vitriol - GocartMoz:  Nice tune, well played guitar.  Some of the notes sung in the song were not what I would expect, which gave it a nice, original vibe, but it was a song I had to listen to more than once to get into it.

 

The Underground - neuroron:  Love the concept of a song about buskers and great tribute to musicians.  Nice melody and well produced.  

 

Active Shooter - RoadDog:  Oh man, your guitar solos were fantastic!  I wish I could play like that!  You should team up with HoboSage's drums maybe?  I thought that the singing was a little too low energy to go with that high energy guitar and the panic/desperation imbued in the lyrics.  Your lyrics were creative and original as I've come to expect.

 

Silver Tongue - ScenesFromPalacio:  Another nice composition.  I thought the song was fun with a ska backbeat.  Ska is always fun!  I can easily pull the song into my head right now even though I haven't listened to it for days, which I believe is a testament to a good, effective song.  This seems like it would be a great song to play live with some crazy extended accordion solo.  Well done.

 

Prima Donna - Jason Kalman:  Another nice, well crafted song that seems radio ready to me.  Nice economy words.  You've got the songwriting formula down from what I can see.

 

Bullets and Lovers - Eric Burgos:  I really enjoyed your lyrics, especially the train tunnel line.  I thought the vibe of the song, especially the singing was a little too laid back/low energy for the subject?

 

The Moon Is Scheming - Zeligovitch:  Another highly original piece.  I really like the piano and guitar instrumentation, which I would focus on more.  Although I enjoy the singer's style, it so dramatic and breathy that it's maybe too much in that it's dominating your song?  I think a sparser dose of the lyrics/singing and higher dose of instrumentation would improve the listening experience especially given that you are such a talented instrumentalist and you've got a 5 minute song.

 

Bleed - Qindfish:  I think you've got a natural talent for creating original melody and this is another good one.  I really liked the strings section for the chorus.  This song seems like its begging for more layers of instrumentation.  Maybe the strings are making me think it should be more orchestral?

 

The Jesus I know - Donnie:  I am not a religious person, but I have always been attracted to religious songs all my life, whether it is old country, bluegrass or gospel because it seems like there is an extra something put into the song...I think it's true faith.  And this is another song that definitely gives off the vibe.  However, it's a pretty barebones song and for that reason I would recommend introducing some dynamics/changes.  For example some more interesting guitar work would be nice to break it up a little.  Have you given thought to singing harmony with someone?  

 

Long - Mike B:  I really liked the electric guitar work in this.  The singing seemed a little plain to me.  I couldn't help but imagine someone like Neil Young singing a song like this and making it into a hit.  Even though he isn't a great singer, there's a lot of feeling in his voice and I feel like you could belt it out a little more?

 

Without You - Jambrains:  Really well produced, nice mix of instrumentation, I like when the song broke into an acapella part.  I can tell a lot of work went into this composition.  An enjoyable listen.

 

Leave A Little Light - Murphster:  I ranked yours pretty high because the melody was fabulous and the change up between the verse and chorus was sweet.  You're another person on the Muse that seems to have a natural talent for picking good melodies out of the air.

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Congrats to the brillant winners and their beautiful songs. Steve, Hobosage and Jambrains were my top scores.
Thanks for the listens and the interesting comments on my song. I'm going to forget this one and write another one inmediately :)

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Congrats to Johan, David and Scenes. Man! What a month for great songs!

I had Scenes and SOK tied for top spot - but Hobo and the Jamster were biting at their heels!

Feck! I don't remember a month that has had such a great variety of stellar performances - how R us mortals supposed to compete!!??

Anyway??!! :lol:

 

Good job fab on the hosting duties.

Will post my impressions anon..

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Congratulations to the winners...Thanx for the nice comments (& votes !) on Silver Tongue & special thanx to Fab for kindly running it n non contestant voters...Lots of very cool songs this month -i was very pleased to place 3rd, but again (see brief reviews below while listening) guessed the winner wrong !

 

 

Life is a fleeting thing - PaulCanuck

Very well crafted & produced n sung as usual..Good, thoughtful lyric...

 

Kinda crazy - Moptop

Early Beatlesque/Byrdsian innocent fun song..Sweetly melodic n upbeat, nice chords

 

10,000,000 - HoboSage

Professionally produced n creepily atmospheric stadium sized electronic rock..Reminds me of later Genesis or Peter Gabriel

 

Venom & Vitriol - GocartMoz

Expressive acoustic 70s style rock..Good vocal n performance

 

The Underground - neuroron

This is very engaging, energetic n uplifting pop/rock..Really enjoyable track n love the lyric too..Nice mid 8 as well

 

Active Shooter - RoadDog

Lofi rock track with some cool riffs n energy.

 

Silver Tongue - ScenesFromPalacio

One i wrote with SF bass player Pete as a challenge for a "new songs only" party we were playing the same evening !

 

Prima Donna - Jason Kalman

This is really cool, well written, classy classic pop/rock..Lovely chorus n movement in the verse..Instantly catchy but resonant also.Excellent track.Good to hear this again..My guess at the winner for this comp

 

Bullets and Lovers - Eric Burgos

Sweet-vibed easy listening pop with nice storytelling

 

The Moon Is Scheming - Zeligovitch

The first verse sounded totally random, but i loved the chorus..The 2nd verse really picks up some energy n musical intuitiveness..Very creepy n strange track..

 

Bleed - Qindfish

Lofi, slightly depressing vibed indie track

 

The Jesus I know - Donnie

Pleasant christian country track

 

Long - Mike B

Nice song, great chorus..Could picture Neil Young singing this

 

The Meanest Man Of All - Short Order Kook

Really like this.Love the melodic lilt of the verses "Go &take her life"..Well crafted lyric too..Good track

 

Without You - Jambrains

Classic 80s style stadium folkrock..Catchy tune, well crafted

 

Leave A Little Light - Murphster

Sweet vibed pop ballad,,Really like the shift in rythm for the chorus

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Hey all great contest!!  Congrats to Jambrains and Hobo!  I’m on travel right now and will send my comments when I get stateside.

 

Cheers,

Pete

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Big thanks to Fab for running this month's contest!  Congrats to Jambrains and HoboSage!  Thanks to everyone who enjoyed Prima Donna.  Appreciate the kind words from Steve, Eric and Kook.

 

 

Life is a fleeting thing – PaulCanuck– Beautiful Piano composition. Song has a timeless feel to it.

 

Kinda crazy – Moptop– Shiny, fun classic pop rock.  Can’t help but be in a good mood listening to this melodic joyride.

 

10,000,000 – HoboSage– Rocks!  Very tasteful arrangement.  I enjoyed the production effects (vocal echoes etc).  Has a retro and modern vibe.

 

Venom & Vitriol – GocartMoz– Really good lyrics.  Enjoyable tune!  Great lead guitar J

 

The Underground – neuroron– Solid production! Always top-notch lyrics that tell a good story.  Fun melodies throughout. 

 

Active Shooter – RoadDog– RAW and Rockin’!  I could see this song doing very well in a live setting.  

 

Silver Tongue – ScenesFromPalacio– Class-act. Love the rhythm, instrumentation, lyrics, accordion, phenomenal bridge, well I love everything about this song actually.   This was my favorite song of the group.  

 

Bullets and Lovers - Eric Burgos– Very beautiful instrumentation and melody.  Gorgeous chorus with harmony, has a classic Tom Petty feel to it (one of my favorite all-time songwriters).  Great job!

 

The Moon Is Scheming – Zeligovitch– hauntingly beautiful.  Sparse instrumentation, especially on piano, that creates an effective unsettling mood. Gorgeous vocals.  One of my favorites this month.  

 

Bleed – Qindfish– I enjoyed the tune.  Very poignant lyrics and pleasant keyboard and guitar. 

 

The Jesus I know – Donnie– old time classic country tune, very nice.  

 

Long - Mike B– Enjoyable, has a modern yet timeless vibe to it.

 

The Meanest Man Of All - Short Order Kook– Love the banjo and mandolin.  Very classic timeless sound.  Has a Neil Young vibe.

 

Without You – Jambrains– Fun tune with a very catch melody and arrangement.  Lyrics steal the show here.  One of my favorites this month.  

 

Leave A Little Light – Murphster– Sparse arrangement.  Lovely melody and lyrics.

 

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My cryptic notes - hoping to not offend anyone :):

 

Life is a Fleeting Thing
Appreciate the kind words on this one.
I wrote the music first so nice to hear the lyrics went over OK.

 

Kinda Crazy
smooth vocals
fun energetic 60's pop vibe
perfect length
the hook could have been milked a bit more.

 

10,000,000,000
love the percussion and synth work.
Vocals full of angst - totally suits.
One of your best I've heard.

 

Venom & Vitriol
nice guitar work
tight drums
solo's well done.
Thought the music was a bit too happy for the lyrics.

 

THE UNDERGROUND
fine vox
like the drums/clapping

 

Active Shooter
acid rocker!
catchy guit riffs,
cool wawa, quality lyrics
a few timing issues

 

Silver Tongue
joyous music
great melodies
quality vox
great chord changes!
arrangement perfect
tied for top spot for me

 

Prima Donna
great vox
nice original melodies
good hook well used
nice bridge

 

Bullets And Lovers
pleasant vox
solid lyrics - a few prosody nits
melodies a bit uninspired


THE MOON IS SCHEMING
like the piano jabs
vox nicely sung
avant guarde
lack of repeating melody

 

Bleed
lyrics good
good melody lines
guit/ bg vox out of tune
hook abandoned

 

The Jesus I know
good ole country vibe
some prosody issues
good arrangement
good ending

 

LONG
great intro - N Young vibe
nice guitar licks
cool double entendre - long
nice solo
one of my favs

 

The Meanest Man of All
great bass sound
cool cajun vibe
great set uo for hook
good story line
conversational!
tied for top spot for me

 

Without You
great drums
catchy chorus
lyrics solid
vox are stellar

 

Leave a little light
good vox - could be sung in a higher register
solid lyrics
nice melody lines
like the tempo changes
good contrast verse/chorus
would like to hear it grow instrumentally

 

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Congrats to the winners.  Here are my notes when listening and scoring:

 

Life is a fleeting thing – PaulCanuck

Cool old-timey feel to this.  I wanted it to go to a ‘B’ part after the first verse.

‘Speaking’ the last verse lines during the instrumental is kind of weird, when they’re sung again in the final verse.

 

 

Kinda crazy – Moptop

Real mid-60s British radio pop sound to this.  Like the ‘traveling’ bass part.  The ‘hook’ (title) gets lost being only in the first line of the first and last verses.  A chorus or refrain line repeating it would be good.

 

10,000,000 – HobosAGE

Like the chorus in this.  The instrumental/drum solo needs a little ‘polish’ (maybe added instruments or some compression/volume automation on the drums).

Whatever the sounds at the beginning are supposed to be, they are too low in volume, - turning up the speaker, the listener gets blasted when the instruments start!

 

Venom & Vitriol – GocartMoz

Like the acoustic guitar and lead guitar sounds.  Hook/title gets kind of lost where they are, and 90% of listeners won’t understand ‘vitriol’!  The ‘message’ of the bridge is confusing, but I like the way it segues into the chorus.

 

The Underground – neuroron

Catchy story. Had to go back and re-read the lyrics, it wasn’t clear that the band name was ‘The Underground’.  The last line of the chorus,  (with the pause before ‘ In The Underground”) could be more “in your face” if done differently.

 

Active Shooter – RoadDog

Good guitar lick starting this off.  The between verses part is kind of a let down, more filler than substance. The lyrics are unclear – is the guy working in verses 1 & 2 the shooter, or someone else?

 

Silver Tongue – ScenesFromPalacio

Interesting sound – might this be classified as ‘British Roots’?  Some of the background ‘sounds’ (verse 2 & 3) are distracting.

 

Prima Donna - Jason Kalman

Is the beginning of the song cut off my a fraction of a second?  It sounds strange coming in the way it does. Like the verses overall, although the lyrics really don’t tell us what this girl has that attracts the singer.

 

Bullets and Lovers - Eric Burgos

This song has real potential, but I’d like a bridge (or final verse) to tell us what happens to this ‘Bonnie & Clyde’ couple.

 

The Moon Is Scheming – Zeligovitch

Not sure what genre this is (someone tell me!)

 

Bleed – Qindfish

This has some potential with some production work to flesh it out, right now it seems like a demo (repeated lines in the chorus, for example)

 

The Jesus I know – Donnie

Old-timey roots sound on this one, but I don’t understand how the chorus line ‘Don’t turn your back on perfect love’ fits.

 

The Meanest Man Of All - Short Order Kook

Really like the sound of this one (some mixing issues could be easily fixed), could use a little word trimming in places.

 

Without You – Jambrains

Great new roots-rock sound on this. The last verse/bridge could use a different melody to distinguish it a little more from the first 2 verses.

 

Leave A Little Light – Murphster

Nice ‘feel’ on this song.  I think the chorus would pop if the vocal was sung in a higher register. A few trimmed words in places, too.

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Well done everyone! A few thoughts below...

 

Life is a fleeting thing 

I have said before that I can always see the craft in Paul’s songs, I think he is a very decent songwriter and certainly one of the very best around here, certainly if consistency has anything to do with it. My personal problem is usually that for whatever reasons his songs don’t really do it for me style wise. This is one of those that did, from the very opening line, that awesome voice was right there in my face.

 

I liked this song, it was nicely put together and the B section worked so well against the verses, the lyrics and mood they created really hit home with me.

 

It was my 3rd place in the end, a really nice song.

 

 

Kinda crazy

Loved this, for a while it was my favourite. Happy, Clappy Beach Boys track.

I love the melody in the verse, so classic sounding but the refrain part is excellent. And so nice to hear a proper guitar instrumental.

 

There is a bit of the Smiths here.

 

The bass guitar sounds awesome and for me it really contributed to the good feelings of this song. It ended up my 2nd.

 

 

10,000,000

You are Jack Black and I claim my $5.

 

As always wonderfully recorded, great voice and you manage to make some awesome sounds. Easy to listen to, despite not really grabbing me.

 

 

Venom & Vitriol

Your voice reminds me so much of Mike Scott from the Waterboys, I like it.

The song was recorded very well, exceptional really in arrangement and performance. The song itself wasn’t really my kind of thing but I can recognise the skill in making this.

  

The Underground

Great lyrics, nice to hear a story style song, I love them. I scored it pretty high, It was just a rather simple but very effective song to help me clean my kitchen while smiling.

 

Active Shooter

I couldn’t really get into this. It was so typical of your style, which sometimes I can get into but this I just found a bit too heavy for my liking.

 

Silver Tongue

Not your best in my mind, but even that beats most on many given days. Like the beat, like the vocals and instruments used. Pretty awesome job you do of doing something different and keeping it fresh. I did score this pretty highly, just missed out on my top 3. Fun song.

 

Prima Donna

Fun song, I love the attention paid to the lyrics and a great idea. Another ssolid entry with some skills on show.

 

Bullets and Lovers

I loved the opening lines. In many ways a simple song, but a very classic chorus and you have done a great job of hanging it all together. I love the “sometimes a train” hook.

 

The Moon Is Scheming

The doom is gleaming.

 

Bleed – Qindfish

This scored fairly high for me, simply because of how it made me feel. I love the stripped down honesty of this song and the stripped down arrangement really works well. The keys behind the verses sound really nice and added an extra point to this song.

Great job.

 

The Jesus I know

I don’t know Jesus but to be honest I don’t really know Jumping Jack Flash either and I still love that song, good solid song, could have added something more here as it does border on generic a little and a splash of your own personality would probably go a long way here.

 

Long 

I really liked this one, definatley a bit of a throwback to some of the bands I used to listem to when young. A really solid track with great guitar work and what I think of as a killer Chorus. It tied for 2nd for me.

 

The Meanest Man Of All

I thought this song was about my Father-in-law, I was disappointed to find out it wasn’t so I had to deduct points for that.

 

Other than that a good listen, both music and lyrics, it is nice to listen to a story and I enjoyed this one.

 

Without You 

My favourite song this month, I just love it.  I am very impressed with this track, the recording and arrangement is spot on. Great rhythm and guitars, the intro grabbed me immediately and the opening verse melody works so well. The Chorus just knocks it out the park, a proper radio song in my opinion. Well done. 

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Thanks everyone for the kind words about my song!

 

Yes, it was conceived and delivered as a bit of a throw-away love song, but I had never really written one before and I wanted to try. I appreciate the listens and comments.

I am interested about the idea of singing the chorus higher, I have been practising on the toilet and in the shower, it might work you know. I am going to think on that and see if it is worth my time having a go at this and seeing what it might do to this song.

 

Cheers all. I only do this so I can keep validating that I should carry on, so hard to find time at the moment and I don't want to give up doing this and it is comments such as these that keep me going... 😉

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Congratulations to all the winners and thanks to all the contestants.  This month was outstanding in the quality of music entered and the efforts to create and produce it.  I'd like to thank everyone for their kind words about "Kinda Crazy". You've given me a boost of confidence with them.  I'm involved in another project right now and I am short on time so please forgive me for the abbreviated reply here.  I will try to give a more proper review in the next few days.

 

Take care, 

Dominick/Moptop

 

 

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Another great contest, all the songs were so good. Thank you for all the feedback. I have no misconception of ever being an entertainer. I know I'm a little pitchey, I'm working on it. However my wife sings quite well, we may try to record one together some time, we'll see how it goes. The commit about not knowing Jumping Jack Flash made me laugh, so funny! The commit about adding something personal into the song. I gave it some though, but the song is not about me, it's about something much bigger than me. I have others that are about me. 

 

I don't try to push my Christianity on anyone, however with all the bad that is going on in the world it would be wrong for me not to occasionally share the good news. There is a better way. Jesus is perfect love, that wants nothing more than for everyone to believe and to live their life as to not harm anyone else or their-selves. Sorry, I'll try to keep the preaching to a minimum. Congratulations to all. When I have more time I'll try to give my feedback.

 

Thank you again.  

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