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Why I shouldn’t write lyrics when I haven’t gone sleep after my night shifts

 

Men vs pole dance (rewritten naughtier version take 3)

 

The lights in the room were dimmed down 

It was a seedy little scene

Girls were swinging legs around poles

Most just barely out of there teens

But out the corner of my eye

What I saw nearly blew my mind

At the end of the stage was a

Middle aged man working his grind

 

By chance or Cash advance 

There is no circumstance

Where men should ever pole dance

 

He was working it on the stage

Working it like one of the girls

Less a dancer and more primate

But he sure made his tassels twirl

I could write a long list for you

'Bout how many ways it was wrong

But instead I’ll tell you the fact 

There weren't much money in his thong

 

I don’t know if money problems

Had got him up there on the floor

He tried hard to be a dancer

But looked like bouncers at the door

Seeing the poor guy dancing there

You couldn’t help but feel his pain

But there’s one thing I know for sure

I won’t go to that strip bar again

 

By chance or Cash advance 

There is no circumstance

Where men should ever pole dance

 
 

 

Men don’t pole dance (tame version)

 

A body that is so limber

Legs all the way to November

With a grip that’s oh so tight

To the pole with all their might

It might’ve been a sight to see

If he weren’t hairier than me

 

I don’t care the circumstance 

Men should never

ever

pole dance

 

The guy he had all the right moves

body swung to all the right grooves

And doing his crucifix climb

It almost bordered on sublime

Still didn’t stop it being wrong

Specially when he’s in a thong

 

I don’t care the circumstance 

Men should never

ever

pole dance

 

Short man, tall man

Thin man, fat man

 

I don’t care the circumstance 

Men should never

ever

pole dance

 

 

 

  • Haha 3

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You do realize that a pole is another term for penis? Gives the lyric a whole new perspective, don't it?

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57 minutes ago, A Musical Key said:

You do realize that a pole is another term for penis? Gives the lyric a whole new perspective, don't it?

I know I refrained from using the lines

I couldn’t see any attraction

'bout seeing pole on pole action

  • Haha 1

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Frankly this is too tame.  It looks like it's aching to get naughty.  :evil:

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On 15/06/2018 at 23:29, mick70 said:

A body that is so limber

Legs all the way to November

Hi, Mick,

 

Why stop at November?  This line begs for December!

 

Patty

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On 18/06/2018 at 05:47, spanishbuddha said:

Frankly this is too tame.  It looks like it's aching to get naughty.  :evil:

Slightly naughtier version added

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It would really be jaunty

 

 

 

if he did the full monty

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There was one thing more that just seemed so wrong 

 

it was 'Who's ya daddy?'  stitched  on his thong. 

 

 

 

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What creeped me the most--except for using that toy

was when he pulled me on stage and yelled 'that's my boy!' 

 

 

In a town this small you can't really hide

so I learned pretty fast how to take it in stride

 

 

but if times get tough and i can't find a job

i'd rather scrub toilets beg borrow or rob

 

 

he didn't stop til he hit his head 

i had greased the pole

and he dropped

dead

 

 

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He wore just a thong in that open casket

there was a line around  the corner down to 4th & Taskett

 

i still think of dad and it gives me chills 

what i remember the most are the smelly dollar bills

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1 hour ago, kuya said:

There was one thing more that just seemed so wrong 

 

it was 'Who's ya daddy?'  stitched  on his thong. 

 

 

 

You inspired me add a little bit more

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When his tight shorts begin to creep

We get more than a peep

As we realize

He's not circumcised

 

Don't get defensive 
About the pole dance

You really are impressive

With that circumference

 

I have no shame

I'm glad he's my dad

I like this game

Of a lad gone bad


As his thigh grips tighter

We realize he's got hose

Like a firefighter

When he loses his clothes

  • Sad 1

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No daddies, no sons.  This isn't the family lyric. Whether male or female the pole dancers are not usually part of the club bunny night life mentality or cliques, at least in my observation and I'm no club bunny. :P  They can be students, people experimenting and so forth or just using the experience as an excuse to make money, so let your inhibitions go here and get naughty.  Still rather tame. Doesn't have to be vulgar or crude to pull this off however. 

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I keep thinking this should be;

Real Men Don't Pole Dance

 

I don't care what circumstance

Circumcised or circumspect

In speedo, jock strap or yoga pants

Real men don't pole dance!

😨

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Mick

 

You have some good ideas for writing, this one included. I had thought (in a satirical way) about the title "Real Men Don't Pole Dance" as well, but then in my thoughts, you'd have to stick to a point of view that is either a macho dude, tough guy or a redneck.  That would probably make sense to most and would be more understandable in as far as where the point of view is coming from in his conclusion about pole dancing men, but pole dancing (at least in a night club sense) isn't usually about "stripping" it's about erotic dancing and exhibitionism for money.   There are a lot of different directions you could take this and present a pole dancer who happens to be a guy. I see the current way as the safe way, a tame way but more than likely one that people would say yeah hahaha I get it, especially if you added "Real" to the title.  But, it automatically labels the point of view within an old school age bracket.  Not that it matters I suppose, but just some thoughts.   
 

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16 hours ago, spanishbuddha said:

Mick

 

You have some good ideas for writing, this one included. I had thought (in a satirical way) about the title "Real Men Don't Pole Dance" as well, but then in my thoughts, you'd have to stick to a point of view that is either a macho dude, tough guy or a redneck.  That would probably make sense to most and would be more understandable in as far as where the point of view is coming from in his conclusion about pole dancing men, but pole dancing (at least in a night club sense) isn't usually about "stripping" it's about erotic dancing and exhibitionism for money.   There are a lot of different directions you could take this and present a pole dancer who happens to be a guy. I see the current way as the safe way, a tame way but more than likely one that people would say yeah hahaha I get it, especially if you added "Real" to the title.  But, it automatically labels the point of view within an old school age bracket.  Not that it matters I suppose, but just some thoughts.   
 

I have good ideas but no good writing style 😏. The irony is that when I thought of this I was passing a billboard for pole dancing fitness classes so in my brain I was thinking of an exercise class scene not a bar, which means I still stuffed it up because I should’ve focussed on all the sad things about seeing a guy in a female dominated exercise class

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5 hours ago, mick70 said:

I have good ideas but no good writing style 😏. The irony is that when I thought of this I was passing a billboard for pole dancing fitness classes so in my brain I was thinking of an exercise class scene not a bar, which means I still stuffed it up because I should’ve focussed on all the sad things about seeing a guy in a female dominated exercise class

Really.  Hmm. Never heard of a guy wearing a thong to an exercise class, but I suppose anything is possible today. 

 

This is from the original version below. 

 

The guy he had all the right moves

body swung to all the right grooves

And doing his crucifix climb

It almost bordered on sublime

Still didn’t stop it being wrong

Specially when he’s in a thong

 

Anyway thanks for sharing

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9 hours ago, spanishbuddha said:

Really.  Hmm. Never heard of a guy wearing a thong to an exercise class, but I suppose anything is possible today. 

 

This is from the original version below. 

 

The guy he had all the right moves

body swung to all the right grooves

And doing his crucifix climb

It almost bordered on sublime

Still didn’t stop it being wrong

Specially when he’s in a thong

 

Anyway thanks for sharing

I did say I wasn’t good at writing and that I wrote it on no sleep nursing night shift 😩

 

But I did try to rewrite from scratch using a strip bar scene

 

Men don’t pole dance

 

The lights in the room were dimmed down 

It was a seedy little scene

Girls were swinging legs around poles

Most just barely out of there teens

But out the corner of my eye

What I saw nearly blew my mind

At the end of the stage was a

Middle aged man working his grind

 

He was working it on the stage

Working it like one of the girls

Less a dancer and more primate

But he sure made his tassels twirl

I could write a long list for you

'Bout how many ways it was wrong

But instead I’ll tell you the fact 

There weren't much money in his thong

 

I don’t know if money problems

Had got him up there on the floor

He tried hard to be a dancer

But looked like bouncers at the door

Seeing the poor guy dancing there

You couldn’t help but feel his pain

But there’s one thing I know for sure

I won’t go to that strip bar again

 

 

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Rewrite done

 

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