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This is a song I wrote the music to back in 2015... the music/melody/guitar solo and last verse all came to me quickly... the rest of the lyric didn't come until just about a month ago.

It's still pretty bare atm. I plan on building on this with bass (of course) and some electric guitars providing some layering and whatnot but wanted to get some thoughts on how this is sounding so far:

 

"Fall to Pieces"

Music and Lyrics: Robert Cross

 

If I called you would you listen?

As I shared with you all my darkest fears

Cuz there's a part of me that's missing

So could you give me the time

Would you lend me your ears

 

For so long now I've blamed myself

For things I couldn't control

As I've been locked in my own private hell

I built to fix my broken soul

 

Every day is an endeavor

But few would ever know

Still it's hard keepin' it together

As the walls slowly crack

And the fault lines start to show

 

I realize now there are many things

That I'll never be

Still I can't help but to think

I've been denied my destiny

 

I've done nothing wrong as far as I can tell

Put in a position where all I can do is fail

And I feel helpless as I watch all of this

Fall to pieces

 

For too now I've blamed myself

For things I couldn't control

As I've been locked in my own private hell

I built to fix my broken soul

 

Life around me starts to wither

Leaves senesce and curl

And I can feel the cold of winter

As Persephone descends...

Persephone descends to the underworld

 

https://soundcloud.com/satinsounds/fall-to-pieces

 

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Robert!  LTNS, Bro.  Cool tunage!   Yeah, it needs a bass line, but, you already know that.  I look forward to hearing that, and whatever else you might add to the arrangement . Major kudos on the vocals.  You've never sounded better.  I recall that you used to have a tendency to trail off the end of lines by going down in pitch.  You don't do that here, and it sounds really, really good. 

 

Good Stuff!

 

David

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If this is a wip, definitely worth pursuing. I would bring 'I've done nothing wrong...." (chorus?) into the song earlier.   

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Wow, love it. I like the lyrics and you have a really nice tone in your singing!

Well done :)

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@HoboSage: I always appreciate your feedback and support David. You've always offered positive support and I greatly appreciate it. It's funny how oblivious I was to my tendency to trail off the end of lines before, but several people here pointed that bad habit I had developed out to me and I've since corrected it... that's exactly what the muse is for! Re: your point about bass... I'm hoping to have my friend lay down the bass part. Hopefully that'll be sooner rather than later. We were supposed to do some tracking about a week ago but he had to cancel when his five year old son came down with a fever. :(

 

@daryl1968: I know the part of the song you're referring to, I've defined it as the bridge in my head. I actually believe that this song doesn't have a chorus. Maybe someone else could verify/disprove this, but I believe the structure of the song is verse/pre-chorus/verse/pre-chorus/bridge/pre/verse.

 

@tjpinkgurl: Thank you for the kind words regarding the lyrics and vocal. I appreciate it. :)

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2 hours ago, satincross said:

@HoboSage: I always appreciate your feedback and support David. You've always offered positive support and I greatly appreciate it. It's funny how oblivious I was to my tendency to trail off the end of lines before, but several people here pointed that bad habit I had developed out to me and I've since corrected it... that's exactly what the muse is for! Re: your point about bass... I'm hoping to have my friend lay down the bass part. Hopefully that'll be sooner rather than later. We were supposed to do some tracking about a week ago but he had to cancel when his five year old son came down with a fever. :(

 

@daryl1968: I know the part of the song you're referring to, I've defined it as the bridge in my head. I actually believe that this song doesn't have a chorus. Maybe someone else could verify/disprove this, but I believe the structure of the song is verse/pre-chorus/verse/pre-chorus/bridge/pre/verse.

 

@tjpinkgurl: Thank you for the kind words regarding the lyrics and vocal. I appreciate it. :)

MORE BRIDGE then :)

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