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June Lyric Competition

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laugh.gifJune Lyric Contestlaugh.gif
 
The timeline is...........

• Entries will be accepted now through Midnight   Wednesday June 27

 Voting (scorecards) will take place Thursday June 28 through Monday - Midnight -July 4

 Don't start voting until I officially post the scoring instructions.

• I'll post the results after I have tallied the scores

 

cool.gifHere are the rules:cool.gif

 

1) It has to be an original lyric that has not been posted on this site previously

 

2) Send your submission to me (fabkebab) via private message and I will post it anonymously on your behalf. The names of each lyric writer will be revealed at the end of the contest.

 

3) Once you enter your lyric, you cannot change or revise it, or submit another in its place.

 

4) I will submit it as is, so watch your format and your spelling. I will not change any of your errors after the lyric has been posted.

 

5) If you enter, you must submit scores for the other lyrics when the submission portion of the contest ends.

 

All Musers are welcome to submit songs as contestants or score the songs as non-contestants.

 

I may enter a lyric of my own, just for scoring purposes - It cannot win, will not have scores posted, and will immediately be disqualified once voting has completed

Any questions or problems should be sent to me (fabkebab) via private message (PM).

 

 

 

:wub:*******ENJOY*******:wub:

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Things My Mama Said

 

 Verse 1:
Full of hugs and kisses
she never stopped to rest
her smile the umbrella
that made us all feel blessed

She said...

Look before you leap
walk a mile in their shoes
if you give it all you have
you can never lose

Catch more flies with honey
always travel light
find rainbows of color
in skies of black and white

Pre-Chorus:
Years go by so quickly
fade out to the distance
 like ripples on the water
flow to a river bed

Chorus:
Things my mama said
things my mama said
as she tucked me into bed
things my mama said

Verse 2:
Safe in her arms
our house was a home
we all fit together
like words in a poem

Say something nice
or nothing at all
with honor, grace, and kindness
you're always standing tall

Tomorrow will get better
let all the small stuff go
leave a mark on our hearts
like angels in the snow

Pre-Chorus:
Years go by so quickly
fade out to the distance
like ripples on the water
flow to a river bed

Chorus:
 Things my mama said
things my mama said
as she tucked me into bed
things my mama said

Bridge:
 A whisper slowly floating
to memories in the distance
 "Sweet dreams, my darling"
 as she tucked me into bed

Chorus:
 Things my mama said
things my mama said
as she tucked me into bed
things my mama said

Outro:
Things my mama said
things my mama said
things my mama said
things my mama said
things my mama said

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It Happened Again Today

 

It happened again today    

The kids escaping outside through the playing fields  

And sobbing parents nightmares suddenly turned all too real  

How I prayed for some solutions if I only knew the way

 

So we never have to say  

it happened again today

 

It happened before about a week or two 

A teacher's quick reactions surely saved some lives

I can't erase the images of the children as they hide

A killer stole their innocence as we watched on the news

 

Why don't we talk to our children and listen to what they say   

They might tell us what we need to know to make this go away

If we can get inside their precious minds  

Somewhere in there we'll surely find             some answers  

 

So we never have to say  

it  happened again today

 

It happened before about a month ago 

The helicopters SWAT teams and the TV crews

People screaming pop pop popping teenage fury letting loose

Treating symptoms but not causes only makes this problem grow

 

We oughta  talk to our children and listen to what they say   

They might tell us what we need to know to make this go away

If we can get inside their precious minds   

Somewhere in there we'll surely find            some answers 

 

So we never have to say 

it happened again today

 

We cannot help our children if there's just too much damn noise  (BR)

There has to be some reason we make killers out of boys

The guns don't shoot the children unless the children shoot the guns

If we want to find out why then we must ask why from our young

 

We've gotta talk to our children and listen to what they say   

They'll tell us what we need to know to make this go away

If we can get inside their precious minds   

Somewhere in there we'll surely find           some answers 

 

So we never have to say  

it happened again today

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The Devil Rides A Bike

 

C

The Devil rides a bike, so the legend goes

The screaming noise the engine makes

Is the screams of tortured souls 

The paint’s a coat of blood

The frame is made of bones

Flesh of man makes the seat

 So the legend goes

 

Ri…de   Ri….de 

You can ride with the Devil if you like

 

V

 I heard a sound coming down the street

That made my hair all stand on end

A roaring ball of flame and smoke

Came tearing round the bend

I ducked behind the nearest bush

Tried to hide from that evil beast

He pulled right up beside me and laughed  Ha Ha

He said, on your soul I will feast

 

C

The Devil rides a bike, so the legend goes

The screaming noise the engine makes

Is the screams of tortured souls 

The paint’s a coat of blood

The frame is made of bones

Flesh of man makes the seat

So the legend goes

 

Ri…de   Ri….de 

You can ride with the Devil if you like

                         

V

I looked that Devil straight in the eye

And said you cant have my soul

I've made a pact with the man upstairs

He's the only Lord I know

The Devil stared right back at me

And snarled one day you'll be mine

I laughed and said over my dead body 

He said, that’s what I had in mind

 

Ri…de   Ri….de 

You can ride with the Devil if you like

 

The Devil rides a bike, so the legend goes

The screaming noise the engine makes

Is the screams of tortured souls 

The paint is a coat of blood

The frame is made of bones

Flesh of man makes the seat

So the legend goes

 

Ri…de   Ri….de 

You can ride with the Devil if you like

  

B

I gave him the bird! If you know what I mean

He said my name is was in his book

I said go read it again you fiend 

This time take a proper look

 

He road off in a huff, Ha Ha Ha

No soul for him tonight!

 

C

The Devil rides a bike, so the legend goes

The screaming noise the engine makes

Is the screams of tortured souls 

The paint is a coat of blood

The frame is made of bones

Flesh of man makes the seat

So the legend goes

 

Ri…de   Ri….de 

You can ride with the Devil if you like

  

Ri…de   Ri….de 

You can ride with the Devil if you like

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Temptation

 

V1

Have you come straight from Eden

with an apple in your hand?

You tempt me with your bounty

and ask me to understand

 

PC1

Temptation, flirtation, masquerade as sport

Temptation, migration, with whom you will consort

 

V2

 I am bound to no one

but you can’t say the same

You stood before all those you know

and ya’ even took his name

 

PC2

A vacation, from your station, something to explore

A relation, causation, don’t I deserve more?

 

C1

Has fidelity’s time just passed

Are these things really meant to last?

Can two people share a life

When it’s filled with so much strife?

 

V3

 A fleeting night of pleasure

for a lifetime of pain

A foundation built brick by brick

will crumble just the same

 

PC3

Gyration, elation, a temporary high

Migration, damnation a lifetime a lie

 

C2

Has fidelity’s time just passed

Are these things really meant to last?

Can two live as man and wife

 And make it last for their whole life?

 

Repeat V1

 Have you come straight from Eden

with an apple in your hand?

You tempt me with your bounty

and ask me to understand

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Proton Walk

 

 

If you're still young then you still have the chance

To hop right up and do the neutron dance

But if your getting old  then we should talk

And let me tell you about the proton walk.

 

Its half past two and pushin on towards three

And my comfy bed is where I ought to be

But I wont be  back to sleep till after four

So I guess I'll wander round the house some more.

 

<chorus>

And its hard to sleep, as the clock hands slowly creep

And its hard to find  the switch to stop a wandering mind

I'm just wandering, doing the proton walk

I'm just wandering, doing the proton walk

 

A real long sleep is what I want to take

But like a  big bang my mind pops awake

I profess or state I'd like to sleep real sound

But my body says lets keep on walking round

 

I can tell my nighttime wandering is done

When I nod off watching match game reruns

And when I start to hope that I might dream

My bladder joins my mind for a tag team

 

<chorus>

 

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Today is Everything

 

V1 

On his porch, drinkin’ with my old friend

He’s gettin’ on and talkin’ ’bout what’s round the bend

He said I dunno if I’m a believer

It’s all a mystery to me

Can’t say if there’s somethin’ else when my life is through

But I’ve lived long enough to know this much is true

 

Ch1

Today is everything, maybe the only thing

We can’t ever know what tomorrow brings

A moment in time that’ll soon be yesterday

Today is everything

 

V2 

Walkin home, thinkin’ ’bout the things he said

My younger days, a movie runnin’ through my head

Recalled the time I thought I’d be famous

Make my mark in the world

But even the deepest footprints get washed away

They all disappear in the sands of yesterday

 

Ch2  

 Today is everything, maybe the only thing

We can’t ever know what tomorrow brings

But this day is ours till it packs up, goes on its way

Today is everything

 

V3   

When life is good, the hours go by too fast

You turn around and all the fun is in the past

Then there’re the days that aren’t satisfyin’

They take forever to end

For a man like me, it really doesn’t make much sense

But no matter what the day, it never comes around again

 

Ch1

Today is everything, maybe the only thing

We can’t ever know what tomorrow brings

A moment in time that’ll soon be yesterday

Today is everything

 

 Out 

Today is everything

Today is everything

 

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The Farmer and the Fox

 

The Fox thought hard about it
Realized he needed help
The Farmer had his brothers now
He could hear their worried yelps

 

So he went to ask the evil one
Who ruled the deepest caves
He'd trade his soul for human form
And soon that deal was made

 

The Farmer planned his weekend trip
To town to sell their coats
'bout time he got re-paid for
All the hens gone down their throats

 

He sharpened up his skinning knives
He'd do the deed tomorrow
Was heading for the bedroom
When a knock came at the door

 

The doorway framed a gentleman
He spoke and moved with grace
A peaked nose and red mustache
Adorned his clever face

 

He claimed to be a buyer of
Fine furs for city dwellers
And asked the Farmer if he knew
Of any local sellers

 

The Farmer laughed "It just so happens
It's your lucky day!
I've two to skin come morning
If you'll venture back this way"

 

The Farmer didn't notice
Maybe didn't recognize
That for an instant, gone again
Hate sparked the stranger's eyes
Hate sparked the stranger's eyes

 

The Fox gathered composure
Forced a grin to hide the slight
He said "I'll pay a premium
If I'm sold the pelts tonight!"

 

The Farmer never being one to
Refuse a bird in hand
Reached for his lamp and cutting bag
And they walked down to the shed

 

They heard the frantic scuffles
Muffled barking voiced the fear
The captives knew their peril
And the end could soon be near

 

The shed door slammed behind them
The Farmer hung the light
The Fox surveyed the cage that had
His family trapped inside

 

The Farmer spilled his blades out
On a filthy wooden slat
While the Fox inched ever closer..
'til he flipped..
the cage's latch!

 

....

 

Now, the ending of this story
Will relieve impatient listeners
Be pleased to know the Farmer lived
And so did both his prisoners

 

But sometimes when the moon is gone
And night is black as coal
You can hear the Fox-Man in the wind
Still crying for his soul

 

You can hear the Fox-Man in the wind
Still crying for his soul.

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Molly Brooker

 

 

 

(Verse 1)

 

 Molly Brooker loved cats and lived alone
In a shabby cottage hewn from stone,
There were mountains of books raggedly high
Pot boiler novels where the dead don't lie.

 

 

 

(Verse 2)

 

Ricky Breen had all but done his time
Two decades chalked off for his crimes,

 

Molly had been his light through it all

 

Her weekly letter, latterly a call.

 

 

 

(Chorus)

 

She knew the nature of his crimes
The grisly details
The dates and the times,
But she went willingly
To the vampire's lair.

 

 

 

 (Verse 3)

 

On the tenth of July Rick got his parole
The gates slammed shut and he took a stroll,
To a shack that was derelict and damp
Had a mat on the floor and an old gas lamp.

 

 

 

(Verse 4)

 

Molly unboxed a dress she'd bought long ago
Splashed on some perfume, tied her hair in a bow,

 

As she danced to her car a smile played on her lips

 

She’d waited so long imagining his kiss.

 

 

 

(Chorus)

 

She knew the nature of his crimes
The grisly details
The dates and the times,
But she went willingly
To the vampire's lair.

 

 

 

(Bridge) (Bits in italics spoken or sung fast)

 

If this was a film shot in black and white
With spiky orchestral music, a shadow looming in the night
We'd scream "he's behind you!", our fists clenched so tight
And turn at the last moment,

 

Paralyzed, yet not surprised

 

Unable to watch, unwilling to see

 

The predatory denouement, that last piercing scream.

 

 

 

(Verse 5)

 

Molly Brooker loved cats and died alone
Trails of bloody tears streaking down her cheekbones,

 

There was silence and darkness, decay in the air

 

No happy ending cos life is not fair.

 

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Tattoo Ring

 

1

Diamonds aren’t always a man’s best friend

 Men lose out when engagements end

Girls used to return their expensive diamond ring

Nowadays they pawn them for a load of cheap bling.

  

2

Next time I get engaged I now exactly what I'll do  

 Instead of a  diamond  I’ll have her finger tattooed 

That way she can keep it,  If she's had enough

And it'll hurt like hell if she wants to take it off

 

Ch. 

 A tattooed ring will always look brand new

Friends will say wow what a funky thing to do

She can't say the ring slipped off down the loo

Glad I thought of an engagement ring tattoo

 

Bridge

If the tat ring looks good I could have one the same

But I’m not sure I could tolerate that much pain

I prefer my heart tattoo that says yours forever

Hope she don't notice  it’s a stencil in Henna

 

Ch. 

A tattooed ring will always look brand new

Friends will say wow what a funky thing to do

She can't say the ring slipped off down the loo

Glad I thought of an engagement ring tattoo

 

3

What about the girl who wants a proper ring

Get her so drunk that she begins to sing

Then rush her down the tattoo parlour   

Then swear it was all her idea - et Voila!

 

Ch. 

A tattooed ring will always look brand new

 Friends will say wow what a funky thing to do

She can't say the ring slipped off down the loo

And if we part It won't feel like, I have been screwed,

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My Soul's Been Sold                              

 

Intro

Disconnected 

and traversing alone 

Through this narrow passage 

of space and of time

From illumination 

to a distant black hole 

The chronicles ignored 

 the course has been set

My soul's been sold

without regard or regret 

 

1

A new day breaks

as a satellite yearns 

I stand in isolation 

and lament as it burns 

Departing from the sun

 shooting into the night 

Peering on through 

to the other side of light 

 

A sense of elation 

hangs in the air 

With apathy chaos 

and perfect despair 

Now tell me the plan 

when the sun goes down 

 And everything's crumbling 

where I stand and all around 

 

2

Asleep in delusion 

at the evening hour

Wrapped around the circle 

of mortal desire 

Disguised in virtue

and holding fast

With no perception 

of the unforgiving aftermath 

  

Sustained in a pattern 

 of spinning around 

Holding on tightly 

but I'm still going down 

Shadows move 

across the breadth of the sky

Vanished in the wink 

of a heartbroken eye 

 

Outro 

Extenuated facts 

create this feeling of win

Perpetual hatred 

now cloaked like a dove 

Apollyon speaks boldly 

ruling from his throne above 

I can't feel my hands 

 My mind's gone cold 

Left here bleeding 

My soul's been sold 

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Coat of Dust

V. 1
Lonely dwelling
Battered and battle-scarred
Dead appliances on the porch
Never made it to the town junkyard
Garage a termite banquet
The backyard gone to weeds
 My old man planned a garden
 But never planted seeds

(Chorus)
A coat of dust on my hometown
Dusty air as the sun goes down
You might see a teardrop in my eye
It’s not the dust
It’s not the dust
 It’s not the dust
It’s time passing by

V. 2
 Main Street silent
No pedestrians or cars
When the interstate was built
It was murder on the town’s poor heart
The wind kicks up in fury
A screen door squeaks and slams
So much here is dying
And no one gives a damn

(Chorus)
A coat of dust on my hometown
Dusty air as the sun goes down
You might see a teardrop in my eye
It’s not the dust
It’s not the dust
It’s not the dust
It’s time passing by

(Bridge)

 Sometimes it’s been a bad dream

 We’ve done the best we can

I want to grab the hourglass

And empty it of sand

When time’s your only enemy

 It’s hard to make a stand

 

(Instrumental)

(Chorus)
A coat of dust on my hometown
Dusty air as the sun goes down
You might see a teardrop in my eye
It’s not the dust
 It’s not the dust
It’s not the dust
It’s time passing by
(Repeat)

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Smile

I still hear the words on your lips

The lips that I knew too well

I still feel the same, I love you anyway,

But that can't be changed with a smile

 

I still hear the voices of old

Begging me to set them free

I wish that I could, but it would be misunderstood

And that can't be changed with a smile

 

I still see the fires in the night

Burning everything I've ever known

I want to put them out, but I'm afraid I'll be found out,

And the can't be changed with a smile

 

I still see your ghost in my room

Burying the thoughts I had for you

I wish I could feel, but nothing's ever real,

And that can't be changed with a smile

 

I saw him on the corner of the road

Holding up a sign, out in the cold

I put my window down, and tried to help him out, 

He wanted nothing but a smile

 

I saw her walking down my street

More beautiful than I could ever be

I tried to look her way, she turned and started to say:

I'm happy that you know how to smile

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Isabella I Love you

 

Verse 1
She was from down south
I could hear it in her voice        
It’s timbre had me fallin’
She was my first choice
Big time, oh yeah big time

 

Verse 2
So easy on the eye
I didn’t know it then
Loving and tender
She’d be more than a friend
Lover, yeah my lover

 

Chorus
Isabella I love you, every little thing you do                                                
Your country girl accent, arrows on through – to my heart, my heart 
Isabella I love you, more than I can tell
So many lonely years spent, at the wishing well – of love dear, of love

 

Verse 3
Love her sense of humour
Her eyes flash with mirth
Always takes the bright side
Brings me back to earth
Funny, yeah she's funny

 

Chorus

Isabella I love you, every little thing you do                                                
Your country girl accent, arrows on through – to my heart, my heart 
Isabella I love you, more than I can tell
So many lonely years spent, at the wishing well – of love dear, of love


Break
She says there’s a creaky old wind pump, still turning down south
Her folk’ll be swinging on their sunset porch
She’ll take me to meet them someday soon I hope

Me, her city boy from up north - oh

 

Chorus

Isabella I love you, every little thing you do                                                
Your country girl accent, arrows on through – to my heart, my heart 
Isabella I love you, more than I can tell
So many lonely years spent, at the wishing well – of love dear, of love

 

Tag

Isabella - I love you

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God Ain’t in Texas

 

1

Some say they seen God

Off of the highway

Out in West Texas

Where the Rio Grande flows

 

But I’ve worn down the miles

From Booker to Brownsville

And ain’t never seen God

Least that’s what I know

 

2

I ain’t been searchin’

 Or lookin’ for answers

I just follow the sun

Let the wind do the rest

 

Ain’t rhyme or reason

For this life that I’m livin’

Forty years in this state

I still feel like a guest

 

Ch

God ain’t in Dallas, Fort Worth or Austin

If he stopped by El Paso he sure didn’t stay long

Don’t think our paths crossed, kickin’ dust my way

But my lady said maybe he’s here in this song

 

3

The years ain’t been kind

Most days I feel shattered

But I stick to the highway

It’s a big rodeo

 

Maybe one day

When I’m runnin’ on fumes

I’ll cash in my chips

And find my way home

 

Ch

God ain’t in Dallas, Fort Worth or Austin

If he stopped by El Paso he sure didn’t stay long

Don’t think our paths crossed, kickin’ dust my way

But my lady said maybe he’s here in this song

 

Outro

Don’t think our paths crossed, kickin’ dust my way

But my lady said maybe he’s here in this song

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Waiting For Amen

Verse 1:
Can you tell me how to make it 
Through another day
From the wonder of creation
Through the depths of its decay           
From the promise of the dawn 
To the horror of the night
I'll just keep lying low today and, 
Staying out of sight
I'll stay out of sight

Chorus:
Lightning flashes in the midnight sky again
Distant thunder rolling out the rain
Hot wind blowing through my mind again
I am just a prayer unanswered 
Waiting for Amen

Verse 2:
The nightmares flowing through my blood
Are generations deep
I'd love to show them all to you
But they'll just have to keep
Please whisper all your secrets
While I tell you all my lies
So you can have redemption
And I can sympathize 
I'll just sympathize 

Bridge
Just like a prayer unfolding 
I stumble on my way 
A simple hymn I keep on singing 
Waiting for Amen
Waiting for my sweet Amen

Chorus:
Lightning flashes in the midnight sky again
Distant thunder rolling out the rain
Bloodwind blowing through the night again
I am just a dusty prayer
Waiting for Amen

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wub.gif June Voting blush.gif
 
blush.gifTIME TO SCORE!wub.gif
 
• Voting (scorecards) will take place
Now  through ---------   July 4 Midnight (PST) 

• I'll post the results on 

July 5

 

PLEASE READ BEFORE SUBMITTING YOUR SCORES:

1. Please title your post, "LYRIC SCORES."

2. When you send me your scores, put the number to the left of the song title, like this: "1.5 - Song Title."

3. Also important…leave a blank spot for your song, but keep the title in the list.

 

For example, if your song title is "Cat Puke Soup," your scores should look like this:

4.5 Song Title

3.0 Song Title

...Cat Puke Soup

1.5 Song Title

 

4. Please read and rate each lyric using the scoring table below (Scores of 1.0 and 5.0 should be rare). Copy and paste the list at the bottom of this post and insert your score to the left of each title.

 

Then send your scores to me them to me (fabkebab) in a Private Message before  

Midnight (PDT) July 4

 

- Do not rank the songs, from 5 down to 1; use the criteria below

- Do not rank the songs against each other; use the criteria below

- Do not score your own lyric

 

excl.gifblink.gifIf you are a contestant, you must provide scores or your entry will be disqualified blink.gifexcl.gif
 
Ask yourself how well the lyric flows/rhymes. Does it create emotions? Can you imagine it set to music?

 

1.0 - Excellent.

1.5 - Almost Excellent

2.0 - Very Good

2.5 - Good

3.0 - Above Average

3.5 - Average

4.0 - Below Average

4.5 - Poor

5.0 - Very Poor

 

 

Here are the lyrics:

 

Things my mama said

It happened again today

The devil rides a bike

Temptation

Proton Walk

Today is everything

The farmer and the fox

Molly Brooker

Tattoo Ring

My Soul's Been Sold

Coat of dust 

Smile

Isabella I love you

God Ain’t in Texas

Waiting for Amen

 

 

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Scoring is tight!!! Any additional scores I receive are likely to make a big difference

 

For those of you who have not sent a score (or not received confirmation from me) please send them! 

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Still a couple of hours for any stragglers to get their votes in - still waiting for a couple of entrant scores - If I have not mailed you back, I dont have your scores counted - the onus is on you to please resend them

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HI everyone!!  

 

 

It gives me great pleasure to announce June's winner.

First of all thankyou to the non contestant voters : 

 

 BarneyBoy    
 Stars in my eyes    
 A Musical Key    
 Joey M

 

 

And now to our winners.... 

 

1st place : Today is Everything - Peko

2nd place : Waiting for Amen - Iggy

 

 

Here is the scoring spreadsheet!! As you can see the margin between places is very tight!

 

Today is everything - Peko 51 3 2.5 2.5 3.5 3 2 2.5 4 2.5 2.5 2.5 2.5 3.5 3.5 2 2.5 3 2.5 1
Waiting for Amen - Iggy 51.5 2 2 3.5 2.5 3.5 2.5 3 3 2 2 2.5 2.5 3 3 3 3.5 2 4 2
Coat of dust - lyrical 53 2 2 3 2.5 3 2.5 1.5 4 1.5 3 3 3 3.5 3.5 3 4 2 4 2
The devil rides a bike - Mr Distraction 57 2.5 3 3 2 3.5 3 3.5 4 2 2.5 2 2.5 3.5 4 3 3.5 2.5 3.5 3.5
The farmer and the fox - PaulCanuck 57 1.5 4 3.5 3.5 3.5 3 4 3 2 2.5 1 2 3.5 3.5 3 4.5 3 4 2
Things my mama said - Eric Borgos 57.5 3 2 3.5 3.5 4 2 3 3 3.5 3 3 3 3.5 4 2 3 2.5 2.5 3.5
Temptation - Ty Cobb 58.5 2.5 2 3.5 3 3 3 2.5 3 2.5 3.5 2.5 3 4 4 3.5 4 3 3.5 2.5
God Ain’t in Texas - Garyhale 58.5 2.5 3 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 3 4 3 3 2 3 3 4 2.5 3.5 3 2.5 2.5
Isabella I love you - AndyLef 59.5 2.5 2.5 2.5 3 3.5 3.5 3 4 3 3 3 3 4 3.5 2.5 4 2.5 4 2.5
It happened again today - Kuya 62 2.5 3 4 3 4 3.5 3.5 4 4.5 2.5 3 3 3.5 3.5 2.5 3.5 2 3.5 3
Molly Brooker - Songwolfe 62 2.5 4 3 3.5 4 3.5 3 4 3.5 3 2.5 3 3.5 4 3 3.5 2 4 2.5
My Soul's Been Sold - James L Kleinheksel 63 2 3.5 3.5 3.5 4 3 2.5 4 3 3.5 2 3 4 4 3.5 4 3.5 4 2.5
Tattoo Ring - Clemo 63.5 3 2.5 4 3.5 3 3 4 3 4 3 3 3 4 3.5 3.5 3.5 3 4 3
Smile - Brady 65 3.5 3 3.5 3.5 3.5 3 2.5 4 4 3 3 3.5 4 4 3.5 4 3.5 4

2

 

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What a stellar month!

Congrats to Patty, iggy, and Doug - top of the podium!

 

My favs this month were Eric's Things my mama said and Patty's Today is everything tied for first and lyriCal's Coat of dust tied in second with iggy's Waiting for Amen.

 

Thanks to the fabulous fab for hosting :)

Paul

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Oh, my!  I am overwhelmed!  Thank you all who voted!  And congrats to the other winners, Iggy (Waiting for Amen) and Lyrical (Coat of Dust.)  It certainly was a tight race!   Some of my top scores also went to Temptation (Ty Cobb) and Tattoo Ring (Clemo.)

 

Music is in the works now for Today is Everything and it will be on the Song forum when it is ready.

 

Thank you again. I'm grateful.

 

And thank you, fab, for hosting.  That's a pretty colorful spreadsheet!

 

Patty

 

 

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Congrats Patty 

what a great contest it was by all

 

Bailey

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Congratulations to Patty, Iggy and Lyrical who were all my favorites. I also thought Ty and Eric's  and Clemo and Andy's were quite good. 

 

Edit: and thank you Fab for hosting

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Well done Peko, Iggy, Lyrical!

 

I had you all near the top with Paul's innovative Fox story (really well told!) narrowly ahead of the field.

 

A tight month for my scores - I had a narrow range of 2 to 3.5 so well done everyone - and to Fabkebab for running the show and coming up with a great colour chart which really shows the scoring trends well :) 

 

Thanks to all the non-contestant voters - kudos! :):) 

 

Andy

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Yea! That's my girl!

 

Congrats to all the winners.

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My top picks went to It Happened Again Today, Coat of Dust, Waiting for Amen, and Molly Brooker, all with 2.0, fwiw.    

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Congratulations to Patty! I had her song tied for second with Paul's and kuya's and Mr. Distraction's and I'm looking forward to hearing it set to music. My top vote went to Iggy's. Thanks to everyone who liked Coat of Dust, which I know is a bit of a downer but I worked hard on it. I especially appreciate the two 1.5's! And a big thank you to Andrew and his colorful score chart.

 

I have to say that I'm shocked and disappointed at a few of the scores. Some people are handing out more 4's than any other score (this is NOT about me and the scores I received). If you think a third or half of the lyrics are BELOW AVERAGE, I'd sure like to know why. I mean, what is average to you then? Taylor Swift? Kendrick Lamar? And what's above average? King David's psalms? FOUR of the voters gave no score higher than a 3. In my opinion, that's pretty darn mean-spirited. Sorry, but if you think so many lyrics are so ordinary, well, it makes me wonder why you even hang out here. You should be out on a shopping spree with all the royalties you collect from your numerous hit songs. No one here can obviously reach you at all.

 

--Doug

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21 minutes ago, lyriCAL said:

shocked and disappointed at a few of the scores

I was a tad disappointed at getting a 4.5 TBH.

I think that's my first :)

Sure makes me curious as to why my lyric didn't connect with that scorer - one of the shortfalls of these contests is we often don't get an explanation.

And seeing the 4's in the top three winners? How are any of those "Below Average"?

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I have to say I was a bit surprised by the low scores. A few people added a slightly apologetic comment saying "I really didnt enjoy the lyrics this month" - which is fair enough. I think maybe it looks worse because of my colored grid!

 

 

On the bright side, the colorful display shows these bright spots even in the songs lower down on the scoresheet - everyone's song worked for *someone* ; the winners just had a wider appeal.

 

 

 

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1 minute ago, fabkebab said:

When I saw some of those anomalies, I wondered if some people scored "backwards" - although I didnt follow up with them!

Hmm.. if that's happening it's probably because the song contest is now scored 1-10 where highest total wins. Maybe we should do the same in the lyric contests?

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32 minutes ago, PaulCanuck said:

Hmm.. if that's happening it's probably because the song contest is now scored 1-10 where highest total wins. Maybe we should do the same in the lyric contests?

I agree! (i actually deleted my comment because I thought I would avoid the "what ifs")

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I was one of the 4.0 voters. I found many of the lyrics to be substandard. Either the story was poor, the word choice was poor, or the lyric was not executed well or not engaging as they have been in the previous months. It's no secret I am a hard grader given my comments in Lyric Feedback. It's probably time for me to relax after a year of voting and recalibrate.  There is such a thing as too much honesty.

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4 minutes ago, A Musical Key said:

I was one of the 4.0 voters. I found many of the lyrics to be substandard. Either the story was poor, the word choice was poor, or the lyric was not executed well or not engaging as they have been in the previous months. It's no secret I am a hard grader given my comments in Lyric Feedback. It's probably time for me to relax after a year of voting and recalibrate.  There is such a thing as too much honesty.

I dont agree- If you are internally consistent, I think its valuable to get a wider range of opinions! Thanks for being a part of the competition!

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Well done to Patty, Iggy, and LyriCal. All good lyrics!

 

My personal favourite was LyriCal's Coat of Dust. I thought it was excellent.

 

Others that I liked were Temptation, Today is everything, My soul's been sold, and Smile.

 

On lyrics getting ratings of 4, I think this is a symptom of the scoring system. 4 is stated as meaning that the lyric is 'below average' but not poor. To me, it's kind of inevitable that a few lyrics will be deemed to be below average. It doesn't mean that the lyric lacks potential - maybe they just need a little work to be made more impactful. Or maybe the reader just doesn't get the intended melody? And if we decide to score no lower than 3.5 then the differential between our favourite and least favourite lyric may become quite small 

 

 

 

 

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No offense to A Musical Key as a person, but, yeah, I disagree with Andrew on this and do think that to find almost EVERY song average or below average is really being harsh. This is just a hobby for me, I don't expect to ever hear a song on the radio with my words. But, man, a 4 or a 4.5 really says to me, "This lyric is crap." You may not LIKE something, but you have to ask yourself if that really makes it crap. I don't normally like lyrics about religion or that use religious imagery or language but iggy's was my top vote getter this time because I can see the talent in the writing. And remember, we don't know who wrote any of these ahead of time, so I'm not biased in favor of iggy. I'm biased in favor of solid lyric writing.

 

I think it's great to give really tough critiques to folks who post in the lyrics forum seeking critiques. That's how we learn. But if you're honest opinion is that pretty much every lyric this time around is ordinary or worse -- even though there are lines like "even the deepest footprint gets washed away" and "Please whisper all your secrets while I tell you all my lies, so you can have redemption and I can sympathize" and "we cannot help our children if there's just too much damn noise, there has to be a reason we make killers out of boys" -- then, yeah, I think you're expecting the unexpectable from a Muse lyric writer and need to re-evaluate how you evaluate for the contests.

 

Just my opinion. But I feel it strongly and won't apologize for it.

 

Doug

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Big Congrats to:

Peko and LyriCal

and 

much thanks for the warm reception for 

"Waiting For Amen"

 

The scoring of lyrics is such a personal response....

 

For me one of the most important questions is ...

 

How does it sound?

 

regardless of structure or meaning....

Do the words capture you in a way that makes it difficult to escape the lyric?...

All great lyrics and poetry are designed to inveigle the listener in a trap ... 

Try reading

Edgar Allan Poe , Shakespeare, Dylan Thomas, Mary  Oliver, Billy Collins

or any number of great poets to experience the quicksand thrill of their words

 

iggy

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     This is one of the reasons I suggested a few weeks ago that maybe we could discuss together how we define the word 'average.'  There's  lots of baselines we could use ( average of this months entries, average of entries submitted over time, average of lyrics submitted over time in feedback section, etc.).  We're all using some individual definition that hopefully is consistent for an individual contest. Our definitions are all different though. If, through discussion, a concensus could be arrived at that was mutually agreeable, it would not change the individual  contest rankings in the slightest, as our individual tastes would not change, but it would possibly add more meaning to the scores. But there didn't seem to be much interest. 

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Maybe something different happened this contest or maybe seeing the scores in color altered our perception. We should definitely have that discussion, kuya! The scoring is ALWAYS going to be subjective but it might help to define our terms.

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46 minutes ago, lyriCAL said:

Maybe something different happened this contest or maybe seeing the scores in color altered our perception. We should definitely have that discussion, kuya! The scoring is ALWAYS going to be subjective but it might help to define our terms.

Maybe people are voting honestly. From my perspective, it seemed that the voting this month was quite generous. A lot of 1's and 1.5's, really?

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24 minutes ago, Barneyboy said:

Maybe people are voting honestly. From my perspective, it seemed that the voting this month was quite generous. A lot of 1's and 1.5's, really?

You and I are looking at different charts. I see two 1's and three 1.5's out of 266 votes. That's your idea of "a lot"?

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I don't know if theres a consistent policy about how scores are presented, it seems to vary? But

 

I prefer when each scorer is in their own column, and scores aren't jumbled. I think it provides more feedback to the writer. You at least get a sense of what others they liked or disliked.  

 

 

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3 hours ago, 9thStLine said:

I prefer when each scorer is in their own column

You might be confused by the colors but fabkebab's chart is the same as always in other respects. Each column represents a single scorer.

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On ‎06‎/‎07‎/‎2018 at 22:58, lyriCAL said:

You and I are looking at different charts. I see two 1's and three 1.5's out of 266 votes. That's your idea of "a lot"?

 

On ‎06‎/‎07‎/‎2018 at 22:58, lyriCAL said:

You and I are looking at different charts. I see two 1's and three 1.5's out of 266 votes. That's your idea of "a lot"?

Well 5 among this group is more than a lot. Doesn't matter if it was 2600 votes. Just my point of view. 

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Hi, all.

 

Today is Everything is now posted in the Song Critique forum if you're interested in hearing how it sounds.

 

Patty

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Its beginning to feel a lot like.... July!! Any volunteers? I will do the song competition...

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