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I mentioned in another post that I was working on a lyric called Demolition baby and that it had been inspired by walking past a local inn that had just been demolished. Quite sad as it was an old building and had been a much loved establishment in years gone by. Anyone, it triggered an idea for a song lyric which I've then worked up a bit.

In terms of the music to accompany it, I was thinking something in a Dogs D'Amour style. Appreciate that will mean little to most people here. They were a rock band from London in the late 80s/90s. Their singer, Tyla, was/is an alcoholic and not the world's greatest singer but I think he is a very underappreciated songwriter. (And also a great artist).

Anyway, I could see a riff similar to their song 'Dog's hair' to accompany my lyric. 

 

Demolition baby

 

(Intro)

Good lord, they knocked down the old Inn last night
Just bricks and broken dreams left at first light
And as I watched the destruction
You know, I thought of you baby.

 

(Verse 1)

We fell into dirty sheets with our jagged hearts
In a bedsit in Tooting in nineteen something

 

(Verse 2)

You said you hated filthy cheats who slight of hand their cards
And I listened as you glistened on a steamy summer's night
 

(Bridge)
I know that we were broken
But the words that we spoke of
Were soft and soothing to my heart,
But it seems you were intent
On seeing hate where love was meant
And that guaranteed we'd be blown apart

 

(Chorus)

You're the demolition baby
You rigged everything to fall
The demolition baby
Now there's nothing left at all

 

(Verse 3)

We lost our flirty ways almost from the start
In a war zone of our making in nineteen something

 

(Verse 4)

You said you hated crystal dreams that shatter into shards
But you sabotaged any plans that we had for love

 

(Chorus)

You're the demolition baby
You rigged everything to fall
The demolition baby
Now there's nothing left at all

 

(Chorus)

You're the demolition baby
You rigged everything to fall
The demolition baby
Now there's nothing left at all

 

(Chorus)

You're the demolition baby
You rigged everything to fall
The demolition baby
Now there's nothing left at all

 

Dynamite, TNT

No point talkin', bout
What might have been
You're the demolition baby
You're the demolition baby

 

(Chorus)

Yeah, you're the demolition baby
You rigged everything to fall
The demolition baby
Now there's nothing left at all

 

Boom!

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Reading it in the spirit of a band like this:

"In 1991 the band famously split up on stage, with Tyla slashing his chest open with a bottle during the set."

it sounds right.

 

A small thing I just noticed -- you have 

"In a bedsit in Tooting in nineteen something"

and

"In a war zone of our making in nineteen something"

One of them has to go. 

 

It might be more effective if you just picked a year and ran with it, even if you aren't absolutely sure. If it was two different years, maybe pick two plausible actual years. Mentioning specific years -- started humming a song from 1962, late December back in '63, in '65 I was 17, etc. -- makes the story more concrete and the memory more real. (But  I guess you're rhyming on -ing, so maybe it's not that easy.)

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8 hours ago, malcolm said:

Reading it in the spirit of a band like this:

"In 1991 the band famously split up on stage, with Tyla slashing his chest open with a bottle during the set."

it sounds right.

 

A small thing I just noticed -- you have 

"In a bedsit in Tooting in nineteen something"

and

"In a war zone of our making in nineteen something"

One of them has to go. 

 

It might be more effective if you just picked a year and ran with it, even if you aren't absolutely sure. If it was two different years, maybe pick two plausible actual years. Mentioning specific years -- started humming a song from 1962, late December back in '63, in '65 I was 17, etc. -- makes the story more concrete and the memory more real. (But  I guess you're rhyming on -ing, so maybe it's not that easy.)

Thanks Malcolm. Hadn't heard of the nature of that split but doesn't surprise me too much.

 

On the 'nineteen something' bits, I knew some people would probably pick up upon that. I deliberated on it and went with it as I wanted the idea that the passage of time is a bit blurry. The protagonist can feel the emotions that he felt without necessarily being able to pinpoint them to precise moments in time. However, I'll have a think about whether to amend the 2nd reference - maybe it's too much to repeat it in verse 3. Would be interesting to see if others found that to be an issue

 

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. :)

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Hey SW - sounds like a good rock song to me :)

Apart from the heart/apart clichéd couplet, I think it totally works.

 

Paul

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3 hours ago, PaulCanuck said:

Hey SW - sounds like a good rock song to me :)

Apart from the heart/apart clichéd couplet, I think it totally works.

 

Paul

Thanks Paul.

 

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Hi

I am just wondering why the form is so unusual is there a reason for that.

Is the dynamite TNT section an evolving chorus. 

 

Cheers

 

Gary

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