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This was an older one that I reworked a bit with new vocals. I know the instrumentation is a bit looped but it was most of what I could salvage from the original recording. Hope the intent is there. I have some additions I'm thinking about as well. Cheers!

 

 

 

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Hi M

 

   Holy kick drum beats batman!!! But seriously, it sounded alittle like Diiv from their first cd (Oshin). Has some nice atmospheric feel to it. Nice to hear something experimental here once in awhile.

 

cheers

R-N-R Jim

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Thanks @R-N-R Jim! I want to tone down the kick drum and snare but all i have is an mp3 right now to start with of the original recording from a couple years ago. Would love it to be a bit more subdued. Will need to record this again at some point. 

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Initial listen

 

Love the strings with the vox and how they transcend into that root key on the ring synced with the snare. 

 

Love the environment of the sound, and really dig the unconventional structure. Sounds like a rollercoaster or glass subway through space.... great imagery here.

 

 

Suggestions:

 

Keep the instrument loop, makes it hypnotic. 

 

Play around with bass line. I hear opportunity for a catchy bass roll towards the end of every 4th bar. (Actually since its 3/4, I guess it would be every third bar, or maybe every third and then every other towards end of song)

 

 

Great stuff really. I really dig it. Listening to others on your sound cloud right now.

 

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@Micah Thanks a lot! Great feedback. Thanks for checking out my Soundcloud! It's kind of a mess of recordings on there haha. Thanks for listening!

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This song has a fantastic ratio of tension and release but never really gets to a pay-off.  I feel it could benefit from a huge payoff at the end.  With that said, I really enjoyed it. 

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Hi M

 

  Yeah, the bass line does take alittle bit of the thunder out or tames the kick drum beat sound abit. Again, I liked that you left this song in a shorter form.

 

cheers

R-N-R Jim

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Threw down this really initial acoustic version of this track. Liking the vibe but needs a lot of work.

 

 

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1 hour ago, MGIFOS_SF said:

Trying to work on my falsetto.

And it works. Much nicer than the first version.

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Couldn't listen all the way through - too loud (too much compression). The guitar needs a lot of EQ notching. No lyrics posted - can't understand enough of them ..and even if I could I would want to see them posted - so I can't really offer much in the way of criticism.

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@M57 Are you referring to the original song up top or the acoustic ones? I'm not a wizard at mixing yet so hoping to improve at that. 

 

Here are the lyrics:

 

Is it what I said

To you

Was what I did

To you

It was all for you

It was all for you

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2 hours ago, MGIFOS_SF said:

@M57 Are you referring to the original song up top or the acoustic ones? I'm not a wizard at mixing yet so hoping to improve at that. 

 

The original.

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