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AndyLeF

The Corridor Shuffle

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A very light hearted one here about a awkward situation we've all been through - just a bit of fun!
 
All comments appreciated - thanks :)
 
Any suggestions as to a suitable style of music....?
 
Andy
 
The Corridor Shuffle 
(C) 2018 Andy LeFevre
 
[v1]
Some times strange things happen
You find you've two left feet
An unexpected turn of events
Strangers dance before they meet
 
[ch1]
You go one way, I go the same
Reverse directions, no one's to blame
Left then right, two times then three
Before you know it you're doing
the corridor shuffle with me
 
[v2]
Just when you don't expect it
Hasn't happened in a while
That good old two step shuffle
Breaks the ice makes you smile
 
[v3]
Some girls can't help laughing
Some guys are not amused
But in every land I'll betcha
Strangers are getting confused
 
[ch2]
You go one way I go the same
Reverse directions no one's to blame
Left then right, two times then three
Before you know it you doing
the corridor shuffle with me
 
[Break]
Pardon me - you first!
[No, no - after you!]
Sorry, let's try again
[We've got to stop meeting like this!]
You again!
[Shall we dance?]
 
[ch3]
You go one way I go the same
Reverse directions no one's to blame
Left then right, two times then three
Before you know it you're doing
the corridor shuffle with me
 
[Tag]
Yeah you're doing that good ol' corridor shuffle with me...

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 Hi Andy

this is my take on your ch

Ch

You go one way, they've gone the same

Reverse directions, no one's to blame

Left and right, what a kerfuffle

Before you know what you're doing

the corridor shuffle.

 

use or lose

Mike

 

 

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Adorable. Really fun and clever idea that would make for a great little song. And yes, we've all been in that corridor. 

 

I don't have time to do a full critique Andy (I have some work I brought home to do over the weekend that I've procrastinated doing long enough) but I will be back. On a quick read through, I thought there were some lines in the each of the verses which were not scanning with each other, which would of course, make for some difficulty when trying to maintain the same melody verse to verse. But it has a good reading rhythm to it so should not be too difficult to fix, providing you're willing to make some changes.

 

Anyway, off to do what I should have been doing yesterday. 

 

 

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I like it - esp the 5 line chorus :)

I'd leave "they" out of it:

 

3 hours ago, AndyLeF said:

You go one way, I go the same

I'm thinking the music should be a shuffle :)

 

Paul

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3 hours ago, AndyLeF said:

ch1]
You go one way, they've gone the same
Reverse directions, no one's to blame
Left and right, two times then three
Before you know it you're doing
the corridor shuffle with me

Hi, Andy,

 

You captured it!  Yes, we've all been there.

 

I had a similar thought to Paul's about the chorus.  You have "you" and "they" and then "me."  My thought was to change the last line from "with me" to  "for all to see" because of the embarrassment factor. But either way works!  (Bad joke there!)

 

I like the idea of the Break.  Perhaps reword it a bit to make sure you have the very best lines.

 

Great idea!  Thanks for the read.

 

Patty

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Many thanks guys! :) 

 

@Clemo   That's a great rhyme with "shuffle" and fully in keeping with the spirit of the song!. Will bear "kafuffle"  in mind when I compose the melody for the chorus - I'll probably do two versions and pick one then. 

 

17 hours ago, jonie said:

Adorable. Really fun and clever idea that would make for a great little song. And yes, we've all been in that corridor. 

 

On a quick read through, I thought there were some lines in the each of the verses which were not scanning with each other

Thanks Jonie!  Think the main culprit was the last line of verse 3. The "Break the ice" bit which I can't find a good alternative for at the mo so I've lengthened the other verse ending lines to try and fix the scanning problem. Not totally successfully, but maybe a tad nearer for your melody concern. Hope it scans a little better now...(?)

 

14 hours ago, PaulCanuck said:

I like it - esp the 5 line chorus :)

I'd leave "they" out of it:

 

18 hours ago, AndyLeF said:

You go one way, I go the same

I'm thinking the music should be a shuffle :)

Spot on as usual Paul!

"I go" it is - many thanks :) 

Never done a "shuffle" before - I can already hear the double bass and the brush drum kit being employed on my DAW!

 

14 hours ago, Peko said:

You captured it!  Yes, we've all been there.

 

I had a similar thought to Paul's about the chorus.  You have "you" and "they" and then "me."  My thought was to change the last line from "with me" to  "for all to see" because of the embarrassment factor. But either way works!  (Bad joke there!)

 

I like the idea of the Break.  Perhaps reword it a bit to make sure you have the very best lines.

Many thanks Patty! You've put your finger on the weak bridge - it's not there; doh!

 

 

Thanks again guys, I'm definitely on the look-out for good break lines - any ideas would be gratefully received....

 

....maybe I should go out and do some stranger 'shuffling' to get some inspiration?! :blink:B)

 

Andy

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Andy, this is as cute as can be. Could even become a dance craze. :) Only thing that gave me pause was that when I read the title I presumed the lyric would be about the shuffle that often takes place inside a building (i.e. the corridor in an office).

 

I wonder whether there's something fun and street-related you could use as the title/hook (e.g. The Street-Shimmy Shuffle)?

 

Or maybe mention something in the lyric about how you're bringing the Corridor Shuffle into the streets (kind of along the lines of the mood in 'Dancing in the Streets'). Or how the Corridor Shuffle sometimes spills out into the street? Just random thoughts, to be kept or swept. ;) 

 

 

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How about Sidewalk Shuffle?

 

Does this phenomenon seem to happen outside more than inside?

 

23 hours ago, AndyLeF said:

Strangers are dancing in the street

Strangers dance in the street.  7 syls rather than 8, so it matches a little closer with your other L4's.

23 hours ago, AndyLeF said:

But in every land I'll betcha
Strangers are being confused

Not quite there yet. This suggestion isn't quite right yet, either, but it scans better:

 

But everywhere it happens

Two strangers get confused

 

Let me think about the Break lines. 

 

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Possible bridge lines:

 

 

Pardon me - you first!
[No, no - after you!]

Sorry, let’s try again

[We’ve got to stop meeting like this]

This is getting ridiculous

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HI Andy, I thought it was all good except the 'dancing in the street' part, as that came before the first (explanation) chorus, it didn't make sense, and since you are mostly concerned with the inside aspect of the shuffle, this doesn't really fit.

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I said I'd be back. :)
 
The Corridor Shuffle 
(C) 2018 Andy LeFevre
 
[v1]
Some times strange things happen
You find you've two left feet
An unexpected turn of events
Strangers are dancing in the street 
 
[ch1]
You go one way, I go the same
Reverse directions, no one's to blame - Is this a game?  Just a suggestion.  Not sure I'm all that sold on "no one's to blame"
Left then right, two times then three
Before you know it you're doing
the corridor shuffle with me
 
[v2]
Just when you don't expect it
Cos it's not Hasn't happened in a while
That good old two step shuffle
Breaks the ice and makes you smile
 
[v3]
Some girls can't help laughing
Some guys are not amused
But in every land I'll betcha
Strangers are being 
getting confused
 
[Break]
Pardon me - you first!
[No, no - after you!]
Do you come here often?
[Only now and then]
See you again then! - Guess I'll see you again! ?
 
That's all I got. When I actually read through it more thoroughly, I couldn't find much to nag you about after all. :unsure:
 
 
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Many thanks guys - further updates in the first post...

21 hours ago, Peko said:

How about Sidewalk Shuffle?

Great alternative Patty! :) - "Sidewalk" works well and has the added bonus of the "s" alliteration - it  certainly allows the end of V1 line: "Strangers dancing in the street" to work better for the outside encounters.

 

I quite like the sound of "Corridor" and have found "Strangers dance before they meet" V1 line alternative which rescues "Corridor" for the indoor encounters.

 

Hmmm decisions.... Will try them both at the music stage!

 

20 hours ago, Mike B said:

HI Andy, I thought it was all good except the 'dancing in the street' part, as that came before the first (explanation) chorus, it didn't make sense, and since you are mostly concerned with the inside aspect of the shuffle, this doesn't really fit.

Thanks Mike. Yes, that was causing me concern as well. Have got two alternatives above now, so should be ok with one of them.

17 hours ago, jonie said:

I said I'd be back. :)

Yikes - you mean like the 'terminator'!!! - Many thanks Jonie, I've taken on-board many of your suggs. :):) 

 

 

 

Many thanks again guys - maybe we'll 'dance' in the street sometime!

 

Think this is now ready for music development 

 

Andy

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