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March 2018 Song Contest

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Welcome to the March Song Contest – an open format contest.

 

For any newcomers, open format means the entry can be at any production level - from just you and your guitar to a fully orchestrated masterpiece :)

 

TO ENTER: You must post your song in this thread.

 

The timeline is as follows:

• Entries will be accepted now through Midnight Eastern Standard Time (EST) Saturday, Mar 31st, 2018.

• Voting (scorecards) will take place Sunday Apr. 1st through Midnight EST Sunday April 8th, 2018.

• Please don’t start scoring until I officially post the scoring instructions.

• You must score all other entries or your entry will be disqualified from the contest.

• I'll post the results shortly after scoring is completed.

 

If you plan to enter, please review the revised rules, pinned in this forum.

 

When posting your song to the Songs Feedback Forum, please include:

•song title

•writer credits (If it’s a collab with another Muser please make that clear by including their M/M id)

•audio link

 

Please include the lyrics on your post. Videos are permitted. (Voters are encouraged to refrain from watching any video until after they've scored the song.) All Musers are welcome to submit songs as contestants or score the songs as non-contestants. Any questions or problems should be sent to me (paulcanuck) via private message (PM).

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"Middle Class Blues" (YouTube vid link)


Got those middle class blues

Well when I look at my economic state
With what I make I ought to be livin’ great
You gotta know my heart gets to feelin’ down
When tax time comes around

I pay for schools that I don’t even use
I fund a war on drugs that we’re bound to lose
You got know that I keep-a-waitin’ for
Some way to even the score

Got those middle class blues!

Well now I know that I need to pay my share
But while suppliers get rich from Medicare
I’ve got to ask myself what it’s all about
I just can’t figure it out !

The wealthy don’t pay much, cause they know the game
The underprivileged can’t, the end result’s the same
That leaves the middle class to pay & pay
Hope we get our someday!

Got the middle class blues!

Copyright 1998 – Tom Hoffman

 

*Credits - written, arranged, performed, recorded & produced by yours truly.

 

Tom

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This was my first collab I guess, certainly my first attempt at "producing", done in my little Japanese apartment. (I thought it was done ten years ago; my wife says it's more like eight.) I actually posted this once before, some years back when we did a "live" online concert with a super cool alien. :) Anyway a friend from Canada, Rob, sent me a few bedroom drafts he had. This was a pretty mellow tune when I got it, but I thought it had a lot of potential. So, I rewrote it, and tried my hand at recording and mixing. The mix is crap, I know, and I can't sing worth a damn, but it was a lot of fun. I tell myself that one day I'll be more settled and have the time to build a studio room and get together with local peeps/studios to pull up all these old songs and do them "for reals". Is that naive of me? 

 

 

Old

Words n' music by Rob n' Mike 

 

Oh my Lord I must be getting old

All my favorite bands have broken up

I sold my soul a real long time ago

I'll burn it all down before I drop too old

 

Lying in my bed

Things I haven't done

Things I haven't said

To leave these things undone 

Is what I really dread

I gotta find the strength 

To take another breath

And contemplate my death

 

Oh my Lord I think I took it all

I spilled the sands and I grabbed the gun

I sold my soul a real long time ago

I'll burn it all down before I drop too old

 

Lying in my bed

Things I haven't done

Things I haven't said

I pray you are the one

To heal these hurts I tread

I gotta find the strength 

To take another breath

To contemplate my death

 

It's time... 

Get ready.... 

 

Jack's had a time

Had a mean old time

Gonna settle that score

And bury 'im cold

 

 

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Here's one about lovely wife ... (and how I don't deserve her!)   (warning, mild profanity!  yikes!)

 

"Bottle of Whiskey"

 

Verse 1:
Just look at you sleeping, so perfectly still ...
I wake you to cover me, and you will.
But it's just in your nature, hard-wired to the core.
Even runnin' on vapors you'd give more.

 

Chorus:
Ohhhh! You go to my head like a bottle of whiskey!
Yeahhh! Then you knock me right off of my feet.

 

Verse 2:
In a flash like lightning, from the blue through the air,
life can be brutally ... unfair.
But I don't take it for granted, 
though it seems like I do. 
And I give too much bullshit, to you.

 

Outro:
Just look at you sleeping, so perfectly still ...
I ask that you to cover me, and you will ... 
and you will
and you will

 
 

 

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You Lift Me Up

By Jason Kalman

 

Work at 7:30
Home at 9PM
Working every weekend
The shit would never end

 

The job that would've kill me
The job I left behind
When I don't need the money
I just need the time

 

You lift me up just before I hit the ground
You lift me up just before I fall back down

 

I never was a wise man
I never was a saint
I never had the answers
To the questions I replayed

 

You always kept me grounded
You always kept me safe
I somehow never thanked you
For that I take the blame

 

You lift me up just before I hit the ground
You lift me up just before I fall back down

 

You were there for me
When I hit the ground
I was down so down

 

And locked within a valley
This fire keeps me warm
The darkness moves away from me
As light puts out the storm

 

This cabin by the mountains
So far from anything
Sitting by the window

Watch the rain soak everything

 

You lift me up just before I hit the ground
You lift me up just before I fall back down

 
 

 

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I Got The Satellite

 

 

All music/lyrics Steve Ison

 

Everybodies looking for the sun,

locked inside of the tower like a maiden
With a million shekels in her hand,
she gazes out through the eyes of a stranger
Wonders when her hero's gonna come,
somewhere out of a smile from tommorow
Travelling thru the emptiness of space,
she lives in hope there's a dream that'll follow..

I got the satellite
& constellations go to my head
i roll thru the dark for just a moment of light with you

You're such an open heart
i feel it but i don't understand,
caught in the wireless of my cerebral mind like glue

& Danie's standing here
saying there's no love in her world,
wanting a sky that there is never the time to view

& the people go on & on thru stories of their lives
Yeh the people go on & on & on tonight
but its hard to be strong when you're caught in the barrel of a gun
that won't let them run..
but you let them run....


I got the satellite
& conversations go to my head,
I roll thru the dark for just a moment of light with you..

 

You're such an open heart
i feel it but i don't understand,
caught in the wireless of my cerebral mind like glue

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Islamorada

 

Words and Music by Ron Tintner, ASCAP ©2018

 

I grew up in Islamorada 

Livin’ the island life 

Days at the beach, divin' the reefs 

Sleepin’ in a hammock at night 

When I got older, my friends moved away

To get real jobs, that paid real pay

But I couldn't do it, I somehow scraped through

And here on this island I stayed

 

CHORUS:

200 miles from Cuba 

Sittin’ at the top of the Keys 

The warm blue waters of Islamorada

Will always be home to me
 

Barnacle Joe’s finally closed

Where we used to go for bait and gear

And the Ice Cream Shack down near Pelican Cove

Got bought out late last year

The beaches are covered with people all day,

‘Less a hurricane comes, and scares ‘em away

But there’s still a few places nobody goes

For me to escape

 

CHORUS

 

INST BREAK

 

BRIDGE:                

After so many years and tourists

Things are bound to change a bit

But the island vibe is still alive

And I’ll never get tired of it        

 

CHORUS

 

Tag:

Yes, the warm blue waters of Islamorada

Will always be home to me

 

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Song Title:  Getaway Plan

Lyrics/Melody: Eric Borgos, Music/Vocals: Elliott Sheridan

 

Verse 1:
Everybody with their heads
buried in their phones
working working for a life
made of bills and loans

Take me to an island
oh so far away
settle down on the beach
for permanent vacay

Pre-Chorus:
Live every minute
like its happy hour
plant little seeds of love
and let them flower

Chorus:
Gotta find a way to run
while we still can...
my getaway plan

Verse 2:
I wanna get lost
in the palm trees
take a lazy nap
feel the summer breeze

Tradin' stress for a drink
a pink umbrella
fun n laughter in the air
keep ya chill and mellow

Pre-Chorus:
Live every minute
like its happy hour
plant little seeds of love
and let them flower

Chorus:
Gotta find a way to run
while we still can...
my getaway plan

 

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Your Life

Lyrics and music by Oswlek

 

Verse

Lonely silhouette
In a perfect pirouette
Whatever parts you get
You gotta make it your life

 

All this world's a stage
Each day a brand new page
What will yours say?
Go on and make it your life

 

Chorus

You only get one chance
To glide on that ballroom floor
So take this dance
Find a way to make it yours
Go on and make it your life

 

Verse

Will you have a starring role?
Or will you spiral out of control?
It's no one else's show
You gotta make it your life

 

Chorus

You only get one chance
To glide on that ballroom floor
So take this dance
Find a way to make it yours...

 

Bridge

These steps are yours to find
But I will guide you into the spotlight

 

Chorus

You only get one chance...

You only get one chance
To glide on this ballroom floor
So take this dance
Find a way, make it your own
You get one chance
Out on this ballroom floor
So take this dance
Find a way to make it yours
Go on and make it your life

Go on and make it your life

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@SongWolfe and I would like to go with a by-product of our work for the collaboration contest for the March open format contest.  So, consider this entry from TriffidWolfe :D  This is the first time I've recorded/mixed a real bass guitar and I snuck in some elusive-for-me electric guitar.  This is also the first of my recordings where I wish I was capable of some real drums, but this will have to do for now :huh:  Thanks to all the entrants, voters & Paul for hosting.

 

Not My Fault
 
 
(verse 1)
out on a dirt track
dust in my eyes
wiped blood from my hands
and waved away the flies
cause you're dead
and i've no alibi   
 
(pre chorus)
half a kilo of coke in my bag
it's not mine but I can't go back
the deed is done
last chance gone
left you staring sightless at the blazing sun
 
(chorus)
it's not my fault, it's not my way
i was following you, just following you
i knew you'd kick me some day
it's not my fault, it's not my way
i was following you, just following you
i knew you'd kick me some day
i knew you'd kick me some day
 
(verse 2)
got the mob to my back
and law to the front
first train out of dodge
no choice but to run
or i'm dead
cause i've no alibi
 
(pre chorus)
 
(chorus)
 
(bridge)
dear friend you were a junkie and a thief
an addict all your life
when I said i'd join you for a ride
i didn't know the price
now i'm desperate  
i'm tired   
and on the run
 
(chorus)

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My collaborator has sent me this sample demo. It hasn’t yet had a final mix or levels adjustment, but I thought I’d throw it into the arena.

Music/instrumentation/vocals: Billy Playle

Lyrics: Donna Devine (‘DonnaMarilyn’)

 

Even the Devil

 

V1

Seen you walkin’ with a man last night

Yeah, seen you walkin’ with a man last night

Flirtin’ ‘n swayin’ in your new silk dress

Well it don't seem right

 

Refrain

Baby, you so mean

Even the devil disapproves

Angels stop their singin’

When they see how you behave

Yeah, even the devil blushes

And he hopes you’ll be saved

 

V2

Heard you tiptoe into our room last night

Yeah, heard you tiptoe into our room last night

Hummin’ ‘n movin’ while you got undressed

Well it don’t seem right

 

Refrain

Baby, you so mean

Even the devil disapproves

Angels stop their singin’

 When they see how you behave

Yeah, even the devil blushes

And he hopes you’ll be saved

 

Bridge

Work my fingers to the bone

Even took out a loan

To buy you clothes and perfume

But you hardly ever home

 

Refrain

Baby, you so mean

Even the devil disapproves

Angels stop their singin’

When they see how you behave

Oh, even the devil blushes

And he hopes you’ll be saved

 

© 2018 Donna Devine

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Hi. Here is my contest entry. Written and performed by SlowD.

 

Where do the Cold Winds Blow?

 

Where do the cold winds blow

when they've got no home

Where do the cold winds blow

when they've got no home

 

I don't think I want to know

I just don't think I want to know

 

Where did my little buddy go

Don't anybody know

Where did our little buddy go

Don't anybody know

 

I don't think I want to know

I don't think I'm strong enough to know

 

I need to believe that their better

I need to believe that they are free

and I need to believe that their better

better and free

 

Where do the angels go

before their halo's grow

Where do the angels go

before their halo's grow

 

I don't think that I'm meant to know

I don't think that we are meant to know

 

but I need to believe that their better

I need to believe that they are free

and I need to believe that their better

better and free

 

Where do the colds winds blow

when they've got no home.

 

 

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Walking Tall - Team Kusta (Kuya & Murphster).

 

Just an idea that Kuya and myself were trying for the collaboration contest. I am not sure we really got it working as well as I would like but rather than just let it die thought it might as well get an airing here.

 

https://soundcloud.com/gary-murphy-28305975/walking-tall/s-3LHrD

 

I tried to run,
It's hard to ex-plain, why all my,
mem-or-ies, instill so much pain
it’s not the life, 
that I would have planned, 
I'm scared to,
take a chance,
A life I’d like to stay this small
My boots aren't made for walking tall.
 
You say the same
This wasn't your road, 
Responsi-bilities, 
So hard to take hold 
You let it win, the fear in your heart that holds and 
Stops a start
A life that might remain so small
Your boots aren't made for walking tall
 
 
You are the one
You carry the light, our child
And I won't run
our fate reconciled
And now we're two, 
soon to be three let's trust in fate
Stand up straight
A life that won't remain so small
Our boots are made for walking tall
 
These boots are made for walking tall.
 

 

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Time to score!  Please read the scoring rules carefully :)

 

How to score: 

 

Score each song this way:

 

10 - This is the best song I have ever heard in my entire life

2...9 - Somewhere in between...

1 - This song needs a complete overhaul IMHO

 

Put your score for each song to the left of the title.

So the list you PM to me should look like this:

 

8 - Song Title 1 - Artist 1

5 - Song Title 2 - Artist 2

8.5 - Song Title 3 - Artist 3

etc...

 

Here is the list of entries (did you read the scoring instructions? :-):

 

Middle Class Blues - tunesmithth
Old - Moso
Bottle of Whiskey - roaddog
You Lift Me Up - Jason Kalman
I Got The Satellite - ScenesFromPalacio
Islamorada - neuroron
Getaway Plan - Eric Borgos
Your Life - Oswlek
Not My Fault - Triffid & SongWolfe
Future Story Told - HoboSage
Even The Devil - DonnaMarilyn
Where do the Cold Winds Blow? - SlowD

Walking Tall - Murphster & Kuya

 

Good luck everyone!

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Here are the results of the March 2018 song contest:

 

Gold Medal 1: I Got The Satellite - ScenesFromPalacio

Gold Medal 2: Your Life - Oswlek

Silver Medal: You Lift Me Up - Jason Kalman

Bronze Medal: Future Story Told - HoboSage

 

Congratulations to our podium achievers!

And thanks to our non-contestant scorers: lyriCal, greybeard, moptop, peko, ironknee, barneyboy and traceysomebody

 

I Got The Satellite   ScenesFromPalacio 7.0 8.5 7.0 5.5 3.5 7.5 5.0 9.0 9.0 6.5 7.5 8.0 7.0 9.0 7.0 7.0 7.0 8.0 4.0 8.0 8.0 149.0
Your Life   Oswlek 8.0 7.5 7.0 5.5 5.0 8.0 7.0  10.0 8.5 5.5 9.5 7.5 8.0 7.0 9.0 9.0 6.0 5.0 4.0 9.0 3.0 149.0
You Lift Me Up   Jason Kalman 6.0 8.0 5.0 6.0 6.5 9.0 7.0 8.0 6.5 6.5 6.5 7.0 7.0 8.0 8.5 7.0 7.0 6.0 3.0 7.0 3.5 139.0
Future Story Told   HoboSage 8.0 7.0 7.0 5.0 6.0 6.5 8.0 6.0 9.0 6.5 8.0 8.0 5.0 8.0 6.0 8.0 6.0 6.0 4.0 7.0 3.0 138.0
Not My Fault   Triffid & SongWolfe 7.5 8.0 4.0 4.0 6.0 5.0 6.0 8.0 6.5 7.0 9.0 7.0 5.0 7.0 8.5 6.0 7.0 7.0 7.0 6.0 6.0 137.5
Even The Devil   DonnaMarilyn 7.5 7.5 4.0 6.0 6.5 5.5 6.0 8.0 8.5 7.0 7.0 6.5 6.0 9.0 6.0 9.0 7.0 6.0 3.0 6.0 3.0 135.0
Islamorada   neuroron 6.0 6.5 3.0 6.0 7.5 5.0 8.0 6.0 6.5 6.5 6.5 6.5 6.0 7.0 5.0 7.0 8.0 6.0 7.0 7.0 7.0 134.0
Bottle of Whiskey   roaddog 7.0 7.5 5.0 5.0 4.5 7.0 6.0 8.0 7.0 7.5 7.5 9.0 4.0 7.0 6.5 6.0 7.0 4.0 2.0 6.0 8.0 131.5
Walking Tall   Murphster & Kuya 9.0 6.5 3.0 3.0 6.5 4.0 6.0 6.0 7.0 8.5 7.0 6.5 3.0 6.0 7.0 8.0 6.0 4.0 8.0 7.0 6.0 128.0
Where do the Cold Winds Blow?   SlowD  7.0 7.0 3.0 4.5 7.0 3.5 5.0 9.0 6.5 6.0 7.0 8.5 3.0 8.0 5.5 6.0 7.0 4.0 5.0 5.0 5.0 122.5
Old   Moso 7.0 7.0 6.0 4.0 4.5 7.0 5.0 7.0 8.0 8.0 6.5 5.0 7.0 8.0 6.0 6.0 6.0 4.0 2.0 5.0 3.0 122.0
Getaway Plan   Eric Borgos 6.0 6.0 5.0 7.0 6.0 4.5 4.0 6.0 6.0 6.0 6.5 6.5 4.0 6.0 6.5 5.0 5.0 8.0 5.0 7.0 5.0 121.0
Middle Class Blues   tunesmithth 6.5 6.0 4.0 4.5 5.5 7.0 4.0 7.0 6.0 7.5 7.0 4.0 5.0 6.0 6.0 7.0 6.0 5.0 3.0 6.0 3.0 116.0

 

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Big congrats to everyone, especially the ones who earned a medal position. 

 

Scenes from Palacio, definitely one of my favourites this month but not my top scorer. I must admit that I am not totally in love with the opening section, and kinda scored that and the rest of the song seperately which led to a slightly lower score. The rest of the song was pretty awesome I thought, different and unexpected - which kinda sums up lots of your stuff! ;-) great job, well done.

 

For most of the last week I thought that it would be Jason's song and Triffidwolf who would be leading my votes. Both excellent songs. Jason, your chorus just slightly underwhelms if I were to be honest, and it is only really apparent because the rest of the song overwhelms. Sounds great and your Tom Petty'esqe voice really helps with that.

 

Triffid, another great song from you and Songwolf, really love it, enjoyed listening to it a few times this week. I think it probably should have placed a little higher.

 

But my top score actually ended up going to Oswlek, which really surprised me cos at the start of the week it was nowhere. That song is a grower, and I honestly think that is quite a special thing to pull off with any song. The more I listened to it the more I started to get it, and in the end it made itself my favourite. Really lovely song and expressed a lot of sentiment that I ask myself when watching my little boy sometimes.

Lovely job. Thanks. We'll done.

 

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Bad luck Kuya, 'twas not to be this month. For something that was a byproduct of what will no doubt one day be known as the "legendary Kuster sessions" it isn't too shabby.

 

We can take solace from the fact that, rather amazingly, three people thought it was their favourite song this month!! Whoever you are, wherever you are, thank you for that. (It wasn't my wife, I have checked btw).

 

I have a soft spot for that track, I wish we could have spent more time on it, but I do like the melody a lot. Maybe it will appear on the Kuster album one day, or at least used as part of the Martin Scorsese documentary that will probably follow it...

 

;-)

 

Cheers all who voted. And thanks Paul for organising this.

 

 

 

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Gratz everyone! This was a pretty fun contest, all in all. Honestly, I thought every single song here was pretty darn good. Good job, all around! 

 

Here are my notes, fwiw. I gave a score range of 6-10, with Oswlek getting top score, followed by Scenes and SlowD in second: 

 

Middle Class Blues - tunesmithth

Love that Tom starts off the song siren style. The guy’s found his vox, and isn’t afraid to use it. I admire that. Love the descending line that brings the song into a little more bassy area before the line “got those middle class blues”. That low note rings well, there and in the solo. If I can nitpick anything, it’s that too much of the song is swimming in reverb. I kinda want this a little more in my face. But all in all, I think Tom knows what he wants in his music, and he does it well. 

 

Bottle of Whiskey - RoadDog

The title, with the lazy, porch-style guitar, and relaxed lyrics all make a perfect combination. And then that lead kicks in with the chorus - excellent! Great lyrics - straight, honest. Love the tone on the lead and how it moves around. Great dynamics. This is an excellent song. Nitpick - the drummer sounds too lax. No energy. But hey, maybe too much whiskey - it kinda fits. All in all, hats off to RoadDog for a great tune. 

 

You Lift Me Up - Jason Kalman

The chorus for this tune is quite good. I like the hits at the end of the chorus, as well. I do feel like it needs more instrumentation, though, something to push the dynamics more. The verses, while having good words, seem to be missing something musically. The chorus saves them. I love the little details in the bridge — that’s the kind of thing that makes music memorable, these little beautiful details. Nice! The piano that comes in later sounds beautiful, particularly the descending rolls. The humming part with that nice leslie organ is a fantastic outtro. I feel that there are a lot of great elements in here, but they come in a tad too late (or are missing earlier friends), or perhaps just are a little too timid. But this is nitpicking. All in all, another good song by a talented songwriter. 

 

I Got the Satellite - ScenesFromPalacio 

Very cool and interesting progression to start this off. Trippy lyrics. Reminds me of the old rock albums I used to listen to with my pop. I love the frequent change in song dynamics. This is some very good musicianship, and excellent creativity. And then it’s suddenly over! That’s a really quick fade out. 

 

Islamadora - Neuroron

I like the organ and percussion. The vibe is quite right for island style. Cool to hear the slide as well, very cool. Okay, I like this song, I do, but my nitpick is that it’s uniform enough in its mixture that dynamics are lost. Now, this is not a bad thing, but it does mean that there is a strong possibility that if I were hearing a band play this while I had dinner on the beach, I would be happy in the moment, enjoying the atmosphere and music, and yet not notice the song. Or.. maybe the lyrics would hook me. 

 

Getaway Plan - Eric Borgos

Nice, smooth open. Funny to hear this back to back with Islamadora. I like the chill, gentleness of this song, but it also is pretty uniform in its delivery. Again, nothing wrong with this, it just means more rides on the lyrics, imo. Eric got some really nice vibrato tones out of his guitar. Sweet. I also like the way the backup vox compliment the main in the pre-chorus. 

 

Your Life - Oswlek

Ukulele! Nice. :) Singing reminds me of Adrian Belew. I like how other instruments slowly come in, gently. Cool “spiral” effects. Cool backup vox. This song just gets better and better. This is really good work. Hot damn. I think this is my favorite in the comp.

 

Not My Fault - Triffid

Good tones. I like the sparse use of percussion. The chorus is quite good, excellent hook. If I want anything here, its a little more variety in the sections. The bridge starts off quite like a verse, but has that cool punchy bit at the end. Quite good lyrics. In summary, I think this is a great song, really good, but it’s still in drafting. I love the end, btw. I wanted to go back and just hear the end a few times, but Google Drive isn’t allowing that. 

 

Future Story Told - Hobosage

Cool work on the cymbols, nice. I like the extra little changes on vocal phrases to complement the phrasing, although I find the verses a bit clunky. Reminds me of work friends did when we were kids. I like how the chorus starts excited and then suddenly becomes chill. The backup vox reminds me sometimes of hairbands when I was a kid, too. Lots of nostalgic vibes. Nice doubling on the guitars. I know Hobo can do some good work, and while this song is well done all in all, it feels a little rushed in concept. 

 

Even the Devil - DonnaMarilyn

Haha, cool walking groove in the beginning. Sweet :) Yeah, this has an old school feel to it that is quite nice. Nice musicianship all the way through. I really like how the instruments lock together to play opening and closing phrases. Good work. The end kind of surprised me, it feels like the song suddenly gets cut off. If I can nitpick, it’s that I want more dynamics. But still, it’s obvious these guys know what they’re doing. Good lyrics, as well. They ring in the same nostalgia as the music, which is surely intentional, and carry their message succinctly.  

 

Where Do The Cold Winds Blow - SlowD

Okay, the opening lyrics are fantastic, and the chill, low-key guitar with that vox compliment it perfectly. When the organ comes in, I feel like I’m at a wake. Was there a change on vox verb right in the middle of the song? Is this a different take? The singer is much closer to me now, telling me the song instead of singing it out into the environment. This is actually pretty cool. All in all, I think the simple guitar, vocal style, light organ, and these lyrics all come together and compliment each other well. Good work. 

 

Walking Tall - Murphster

The Murphster’s piano style with his singing have a vibe all of their own. They go together well. Regarding instrumentation, I like the careful approach with it all, I do, but it’s a little strange. I certainly would not have chosen the same percussion. I like the choices of bass and strings, but they seem afraid to show themselves. While I think this is a good song (and I am intrigued with the contrast between the overall song style and title “Walking Tall” - clever), it feels like an early draft, one that is poking around to try things out, not quite decided on where it’s going to go yet. There’s a lot of room to do some more beautiful things with the current instrumentation and distinct vibe that Murphster applies. 

 

 

 

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Here are my thoughts for each song:


Middle Class Blues - tunesmithth - Great guitar work.

 

Old - Moso - You might want to try a version where the vocals are louder in the mix. They seem kind of faint.

 

Bottle of Whiskey - roaddog - The song is romantic, but then the chorus seems not so romantic. It is not comparing her to a bottle of whisky that throws me, that is fine, I think it is that the chorus does not rhyme, and also that those 2 lines seem like an unfinished description to sum up your love for her. Maybe it would be better if the chorus was longer, something like:
Ohhhh! You go to my head like a bottle of whiskey!
Yeahhh! Then you knock me right off of my feet.
I stumble into your arms
just a man incomplete

 

You Lift Me Up - Jason Kalman - Catchy melody, and great singing.

 

I Got The Satellite - ScenesFromPalacio - I like the lyrics, and the hook is catchy.

 

Islamorada - neuroron - Great beach pop. Very professional sounding.

 

Your Life - Oswlek - Pretty, sweet, and meaningful.

 

Not My Fault - Triffid & SongWolfe - I agree, real drums would be a nice addition to the song. The melody is catchy.

 

Future Story Told - HoboSage - I like the epic quality of the song, and the dreamy/spacey/futuristic quality to the music.

 

Even The Devil - DonnaMarilyn - I know you still need to finalize the mix, so I would suggest the vocals be louder. They need to sound more powerful, because the singer has a powerful voice, it is just too low in the mix. I like the singer a lot.

 

Where do the Cold Winds Blow? - SlowD - I like your guitar playing and singing. You might want try a version with your vocals a little softer in the mix, or somehow mixed better with the guitar (I am bad at mixing so I can't give advice on how to actually do it).

 

Walking Tall - Murphster & Kuya - I like the symphony sounds around halfway through, and the hook is catchy. In general though, the song gets a little boring after a while, I think maybe because the chorus has the same exact music as the verses (even though the melody is different).

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Congratulations, Steve, Justin, and Jason. Well-deserved placements. :)

 

My own top pick was Justin's 'Your Life'. I found it riveting - first time I listened, it brought tears to my eyes. Wonderful melody, and I think your vocals in this one, Justin, are among the best I've heard from you. 

 

My second pick was Triffid & SongWolfe's 'Not My Fault'. Good storytelling, and great melody. 

 

RoadDog's 'Bottle of Whiskey' was wonderful. Simple, concise, utterly moving.

 

All in all, a fantastic selection of songs. What a treasure trove of talent here. :)

 

As regards 'Even the Devil': I'm delighted with where it placed, and am honoured to be in the present company. @Eric Borgos, yes, Billy will be bringing his vocals up in the final mix (or re-tracking), plus making a couple of other adjustments.

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12 minutes ago, Eric Borgos said:

Old - Moso - You might want to try a version where the vocals are louder in the mix. They seem kind of faint.

Hey Eric, just to clarify - do they seem too faint throughout or are there specific areas you think need to be addressed? 
EDIT: Not that I plan to touch this old song anywhere in the near future, but I'm curious. 

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Moso - I meant the whole song. It might not sound better, but I just mean you could try a version where you mix the vocals so they are louder, without re-recording anything.

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3 hours ago, Eric Borgos said:

Moso - I meant the whole song. It might not sound better, but I just mean you could try a version where you mix the vocals so they are louder, without re-recording anything.

Thanks for the clarification. I wouldn't be able to do that because this song was done on... PT6? 7? That wouldn't even work on a modern system. I probably have stems on that old drive, but I'm not sure that they're complete, esp. regarding the smaller effects and such. And that's okay as this song needs to be completely redone - something for the, perhaps far, future. I knew that coming in. 


EDIT: I was a bit worried initially that you meant the end spoken lines which are supposed to be buried. 

 

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Nice contest, all!  Really quality work all around.  Congratz to the winners :D . My top picks were RoadDog's Bottle of Whiskey and SlowD's Where do the Cold Winds Blow.

 

I was actually quite blown away by Bottle of Whiskey... and I'm surprised it didn't win, let alone not place top 3.  The feel and attitude really hit the mark for me.  For some reason I felt like I was in a Tarantino movie or something :) .  I had high scores for ScenesFromPalacio & HoboSage's entries as well.

 

Thanks for the listens and votes on our song... I'm very pleased with where it placed among some great entries.

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4 minutes ago, Triffid said:

I was actually quite blown away by Bottle of Whiskey...

Me too. I actually went and asked him if I could get a download. Great tune. 

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There were so many good songs this round, I decided not to participate in the scoring.  Some really impressive work.

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Well done everyone and especially congrats to Scenes, Oswlek, and JK!!!  Some really good tunes this round!

 

Anyway here are my (subjective) comments:

 

Middle Class Blues - tunesmithth

I dig the haunting reverb of the intro with the sweet fat guitar work.  
The intro might be a little long (but I am a hypocrite to say such things!)
I dig the use of what sounds like falsetto in places.
And as for the topic - yes it is sad but true!


Old - Moso

Oh I like this!  I love the 3-way mix of old-school delta blues, CSNY-style solo guitar, and
90s grunge-metal (a la Alice in Chains).  At points the solos get a little crazy and then get
lost in the sauce - but it is soooo very appropriate for the solo to transition from  the CSNY
style to the over-the-top Guatemalan insanity-pepper-eatin' thing that they become that I can't
see it going any other way.  My only lyrical suggestion is to change the line about all your
favorite bands breaking up.  The song is so heavy and dark that that bit seems out of place.
On the whole though, it is pretty awesome!

 

You Lift Me Up - Jason Kalman

Well done tune with honest straight-forward lyrics.  My only critical remark is that I would have
liked to have heard different words in the bridge "You were there for me When I hit the ground
I was down so down"   - because  the bit about hitting the ground is raised in the chorus.  To me
a bridge should not only sound different in terms of melody but also in terms of lyrics.  
Nicely done though!

 

I Got The Satellite - ScenesFromPalacio

Fantastically fun variety in this one!  It grew on me how the initial part of the song had such
contrast melodically from literally every other line. But since it seemed to be only two themes
the contrast became sufficiently predictable that I looked forward to the almost call-and-response
of the melody.  What was not predictable was the delicious contrast (yes more contrast!) of the 2nd
part of the song (starting with "I got the satellite")  to the first part of the song.  It is almost
as if tension was building in a sawtooth fashion for the whole first part - only to be released
in the second half.  Love it!  And I like the fun guitar fills too!  I admit I had to look up Shekel :)
 
Islamorada - neuroron

Jimmy Buffet eat your heart out!  This is a well done tune that makes me long for a place I have never
 been (never made south of Cocoa Beach).  The mix sounds good to my ears and the lyrics create imagery that
is at once calming and somewhat melancholy.

 

Getaway Plan - Eric Borgos

The first thing I find interesting here is the use of the double 'working working' in the first verse.
 It seems like one 'working' would make the timing easier but this gives the listener a surprise effect
and surprise can be good sometimes. The chorus provides a nice break in the melody but I feel it should be a little longer.

 

Your Life - Oswlek

Great opening!  Seductively done almost a minor/Beatlesque/gypsy jazz feel - and then it evolves nicely from there.
Very inventive melody and use of pauses and harmony.  The false-summit of the song fools me and then the build in the end
comes on so well. Really nice work!

 

Not My Fault - Triffid & SongWolfe

I have to say that I read the lyrics before I listened and upon hearing the initial musics I felt that the
music was interestingly juxtaposed but in an upbeat way to the dark topic of the song.  But then it builds and
seems to refreshingly converge a bit (at least is does in my brain).  But part of me still wanted to hear more of a
minor sound (maybe Iam being too conventional).  I really really enjoyed the lead guitar and boy that tone sounds
sweet (humbuckers?)!I love the way the song ends too.


Future Story Told - HoboSage

This song has your signature sound!  The harmonies are wonderful and the orchestrated crescendo (is that the right word?)
is awesome!  It is so eclectic in terms of instruments and vocals but also and, quite importantly, space.
Man I dig those power chords and the interspersed riffing too!  Well done!

 

Even The Devil - DonnaMarilyn

Well I am a guitar player but I have to mention that bouncing piano intro (but then the guitar solo and subsequent fills
 later are super sweet!).  This song is so very well put together that it is hard to comment on it. I will ay that I like how
the chord progression seems to alternate between an unpredictable feeling and one that is quite classic and natural.


Where do the Cold Winds Blow? - SlowD

I do like the melody in this one especially against the soft acoustic guitar. The organ in the background totally reminds me
of one of my favorite songs "Mother" by Pink Floyd.  I love cryptic lyrics - but I can't figure out who your little buddy is?
The solemn feel of the song makes me think that it is about loss but I am not sure.


Walking Tall - Murphster & Kuya

The delivery here is less than the staccato-esque style that is so familiar to me from  your stuff.  But I like it,
it's good to mix it up once in a while. The comfortable simplicity of the piano is there at first and then the
strings come in, but they are not overbearing.  And oh man I feel so connected to the first verse, it's almost about me!

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Well freakin' heck - I screwed up.

My formula in Excel dropped off the zero in one of Oswlek's scores - it should have been a 10 not a one!

I have corrected the table above and apologize profusely for the mistake.

Or abjectly if you'd prefer :(

 

Paul

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14 hours ago, RoadDog said:

At points the solos get a little crazy and then get lost in the sauce

Yeah, especially that opening part. If I remember correctly, those were all a bunch of quick 3 and 4 part hammer-ons building from low up the fretboard, and it totally gets lost in the mix. I was even worse mixing back then than I am now, haha. But in my defense, it was my first time recording and mixing a song like this, and I did it in a tiny Japanese apartment room. I think that little box was about the size of a queen bed. Yes, I come bearing excuses! :P 

EDIT: Btw, thanks for the cool (and funny) critique, and thanks for the download! 

 

14 hours ago, RoadDog said:

My only lyrical suggestion is to change the line about all your
favorite bands breaking up.  The song is so heavy and dark that that bit seems out of place.

That is a good point... I'll have to make a note of that somewhere. That line is one of the original lines from the softer song this grew from. But you're right - it doesn't quite work with the rest of the changes. 

 

14 hours ago, PaulCanuck said:

My formula in Excel dropped off the zero in one of Oswlek's scores - it should have been a 10 not a one!

I have corrected the table above and apologize profusely for the mistake.

Sorry, Steve! You're welcome, Justin, Jason, and David! :D

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Many seem to be making their top scores public, so I figured I'd chime in with my top 3...

9 / You Lift Me Up - Jason Kalman 

8 / Your Life - Oswlek

7.5 / I Got The Satellite - ScenesFromPalacio

 

My scores ranged from a high of 9 to a low of 3.5...many tough choices, lots of good entries.

My compliments to all the contestants!

 

Tom 

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Thanks Paul for hosting March's song contest!  

 

I enjoyed every song in this month's contest.  For me grading was tough and many of the songs were close in score.  With that said, my top 3 songs were:

 

Your Life - Oswlek

Gorgeous melody, arrangement, performance, lyrics.  Pretty much anything you can objectively judge in a song you nailed. 

 

I got the Satellite - Scenes

Always sophisticated chordal and vocal counterpoint.  Such a fun song, lyrically, melodically and rhythmically.    

 

Old - MOSO

Well written and performed guitars and vocals throughout.

 

Thanks to everyone who enjoyed You Lift Me Up.  I agreed with the crits posted here.  Certainly a song I can continue to work on and make better.  

 

Jason

 

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What a great contest! I think there was something to appreciate and enjoy about all of the songs.

 

I had 2 personal favourites; 'You got the satellite' and 'Even the Devil'.

 

'You got the satellite' felt very original and quirky. I didn't quite know where it was going to go next, which I appreciated. Great quality musicianship and lyrics as well.

 

And I was surprised that 'Even the Devil' didn't do better. Great lyrics and the singer's voice is awesome. Out of all of them, it was the one that I could most easily see being played on the radio. 

 

Where I marked songs a bit lower, I tended to find myself writing 2 particular notes:

1) Song could have been condensed / instrumental parts too long

2) Too predictable, would have benefitted from a slight change of direction, either lyrically or musically

 

 

 

 

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Thank you everyone for the kind words and support for "Your Life".  It's obviously a personal song for me (and it gives hints as to why I was absent for most of 2017), and it's heartwarming to hear that it comes across to others as well.

 

Some general thoughts:

 

Middle Class Blues and Even the Devil: both of these songs fell victim to being outside my sphere of personal taste.  They were clearly well constructed and well performed but whether a song makes me feel is what matters most.

 

Old:  I don't have a great recollection of this one, aside from that it had some cool metal touches.  If it's important that I pass along more detailed feedback, please let me know.

 

Bottle of Whiskey:  I loved the verses and the music of the chorus, but the comparison of his wife to a bottle of whiskey rubbed me a little wrong.  It was creative, but it gave a hint that the protagonist might be a tad oblivious to romance.  

 

The latter point really hit home during the finale; he is looking down at his peaceful sleeping wife and, instead of thinking about comforting her, he gets emotional about how she will cover him when he wakes her up!  It was at this point I felt genuine disdain for the character, which discolored an otherwise impressive piece.

 

You Lift Me Up:  This was a classic Jason piece that didn't quite impact me for reasons I never really understood.  Maybe the sameness of it throughout?

 

I Got the Satellite:  This song was a strange one for me.  The intro had two pieces with a tenuous link, but given that it is one of Steve's songs, I assumed the most charitable interpretation.  Maybe the first half was the verse and the second half was the chorus with a cool transition between, and the sections were given an abridged introduction by showing some of each.

 

Then the verse started and it was just those same disjointed pieces.  And it kept going on for so long that I would have turned the song off had it been on the radio.

 

But then the song changed entirely, and was so satisfying that I might have given it a 10 had I just been judging it from the first chorus on.  So it was tough to figure out how to score it.  :)

 

Islamorada:  A classic Neuroron song.  

 

Getaway Plan:  This one had a sameness problem for me, with no section really standing out.  I also thought the chorus was a bit of a letdown and, lyrically, would have been improved had it been the second stanza instead.  

 

Not My Fault:  Excellent work.  I thought the "coke" reference was a unnecessary, but otherwise had no real nits.

 

Future Story Told:  My top score, a classic Dave song.  The only problem I had with it was that the first chorus felt like a letdown on the first listen.  The kick in cleared up every problem I had with the chorus in general and, once I heard it, the flow made more sense the second time around.

 

Where Do the Cold Winds Blow:  I enjoyed the melody and sparse arrangement.  This one got marked down a hair because the lyrics didn't work for me.  The primary line is opaque, but cool and artistic; had it continued to mine that vein, I would have been totally on board.   But once "little buddy" came out, I was kicked right out of the song.  It is just as unknown, except it lost all the artistry.

 

Walking Tall:  Nice bouncy piano, made me think of "Martha My Dear".  I had no real nits with this one, it does everything it seems to set out to do in the open.

 

Thanks again, everyone.  :)

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My first song contest ever is over!!!!!  I thought I would be crushed if I didn't win lol! I in fact feel grateful.

 

Thank you and congratulations to everyone who participated. It's not always easy putting yourself out there.

 

Big congratulates to ScenesFromPalacio. I don't remember how I scored it but after listening to it a couple of more times I think it's cool that I have a song in the same contest as your song. I can't believe your a bedroom recording artist. Billie Joe Armstrong once said something like there are many people who can play and write songs better than he could (he is no slouch of a songwriter either) but they only play in their bedrooms so you never hear them. If you are indeed a bedroom songwriter then you are also proof of his words. Nice song. I definitely will listen to more.

 

Extra thank you Moso, Eric Borgos, RoadDog, and Oswlek for your thoughts. I appreciate them and they have encouraged me to continue working on the song.

 

Thank you PaulCanuck for hosting.

 

This has been such a great experience for me. Thanks!

 

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21 hours ago, HoboSage said:

and then Moso's song as my next highest pick.

No shit? Thanks, man. :P 

 

10 hours ago, Jason Kalman said:

Old - MOSO

Well written and performed guitars and vocals throughout.

No kidding? I still cringe in parts of that song, particularly with the vox. Thanks, dude! :had:

 

4 hours ago, Oswlek said:

Old:  I don't have a great recollection of this one, aside from that it had some cool metal touches.  If it's important that I pass along more detailed feedback, please let me know.

hahaha that's cool, man, np

And thanks for the butt kickin' song of yours. I really thought that was top notch. 

 

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4 hours ago, Oswlek said:

Bottle of Whiskey:  I loved the verses and the music of the chorus, but the comparison of his wife to a bottle of whiskey rubbed me a little wrong.  It was creative, but it gave a hint that the protagonist might be a tad oblivious to romance.  

I got the impression he was talking about sex with wife/gf/lover. She rocked his world sexually, and that sex was the "bottle of whiskey". Or part of it at least. What did you get out of "cover me"? 

 

V2 I found a bit cryptic. I want to think that he's trying to tell her that he loves her and knows he makes mistakes in their relationship, however I have to admit it doesn't actually say this. It does come off as a bit one-sided. At the very least it seems to allude to something that remains a mystery to the listener. Maybe she threatened to leave him? Not sure. Or maybe some other deep problem came up that his lover in their own way helped him through. He is thanking her while at the same time saying he doesn't feel that worthy for the gift of her. 

 

Here are the lyrics so no one has to scroll up, if interested: 

Verse 1:
Just look at you sleeping, so perfectly still ...
I wake you to cover me, and you will.
But it's just in your nature, hard-wired to the core.
Even runnin' on vapors you'd give more.

 

Chorus:
Ohhhh! You go to my head like a bottle of whiskey!
Yeahhh! Then you knock me right off of my feet.

 

Verse 2:
In a flash like lightning, from the blue through the air,
life can be brutally ... unfair.
But I don't take it for granted, 
though it seems like I do. 
And I give too much bullshit, to you.

 

Outro:
Just look at you sleeping, so perfectly still ...
I ask that you to cover me, and you will ... 
and you will
and you will

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OK guys, to clarify my lyrics:   So my wife is a very very good person, I mean very good - as in she gives me hope for the human race, salt of the earth as they say. She always always thinks of others before herself.  I look up to her everyday in this respect and wish  - oh how I wish I could be like her and  - if we all could, the world would be a far better place.  But alas I am not.  I am more selfish admittedly and have other faults I'd rather not mention here - but she inspires me to be a better person (that's where the lyric about he inspiring me across the ocean in the song 'Stuck With You' that I posted last year came from).....  all the time.

 

SO anyway, my wife usually goes to sleep before me (I am a night owl).  One night I literally was watching her sleep and thinking about this person before me who constantly though unwittingly points me in a direction that will be better for humankind (or at least that's how I see it)  No she is not perfect, but nobody is.  But she is more than I deserve.  So she indeed goes to my head and blows me away with her kindness and strength of character such that I am dumbfounded (as it I were drunk via a bottle of whiskey)

 

Anywho,  I wrote a song about it.

 

But I love hearing the different interpretations,

Pete

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"I wake you to cover me" -- that sounds like a blanket to help you when you are afraid/hurting, or sex, haha. What did you mean? 

 

Btw, my wife also is constantly teaching me how to be a better person, unwittingly, by example. Blows my mind how selfless she is, that beacon of "goodness" that the world needs more of. Anyway, roger that, I understand what you mean there. 

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Thanx for the vote here,non-contestant scorers n Paul for giving up his time running this..Thought it had generally the best quality of songs i've heard in a comp for a while here..Great to see people doing reviews of all the songs too

 

 

Middle Class Blues – tunesmith

Thought the tune on this was cool n interesting for a blues, almost had an oriental feel in places too. It was the lyric I struggled with. Maybe its an American thing. It’s something I can’t imagine anyone from the UK singing seriously- without any irony at all - like here


Old – Moso

Enjoyed this.. Had a biting rockin’ verse n the lyin in my bed chorus was good with neat  chord changes. Would’ve preferred it without such a long solo after the first verse tho


Bottle of Whiskey – roaddog

This had a confidence n sense of personality mixing folk n rock in your distinct early 70s style. Thought it was arranged/played really well to really emphasise the drama. Sounds very atmospheric n reminds me of Mott The Hoople (specially the -very cool- solo)


You Lift Me Up - Jason Kalman

I definitely feel for you if this lyric’s autobiographical as I suspect. I could never work like that n have spent my whole life working as little as I can get away with, being honest. This has your signature empathic, slightly world=weary vibe that suits the subject matter well. Really tastefully performed n recorded too


I Got The Satellite – ScenesFromPalacio

Was genuinelly shocked that this won  Anything I’ve entered that isn’t conventional verse/chorus/verse chorus etc has never been voted so high before..This track is not only non verse /chorus but has a time-sig change as well to contend with.. If that isn’t enough to stymie its chances, it has a cryptic, obtuse lyric to digest too ! Maybe the fact the different melodies are all repeated often, letting people can get used to them n the general vibe of the 2nd section is so upbeat has helped it here. Anyway, was a very pleasant surprise !


Islamorada – neuroron

Thought the tune here had a similarity to The Drifters “Mexican Divorce” that I vaguely recalled -but went back n listened to it and there’s absoloutly no similarity at all. Very well crafted lyric n lovingly made pacific island soundscape here f’sure


Getaway Plan - Eric Borgos

Was caught in 2 minds whether this felt really cool in its ultra laid-back 80s easy-listening simplicity, or annoyingly bland. Actually think it’s strangely a mixture of both for me. Not fond of the word “vacay” definitely tho..


Your Life – Oswlek

Was so sure this would win as soon as I heard it. Everything about it from the excellent chromatic minor melody n chord progressions , thoughtful lyric n fantastic atmospheric production says so. Very classy indeed , really good work


Not My Fault - Triffid & SongWolf

Really enjoyable track with its obvious passion, energy n presence. Great vocal -very natural n spirited .Good classic rock which has an undeniable power to affect even without drums/bass n just a couple of guitars n a vocal


Future Story Told – HoboSage

Really didn’t think I was gonna like this when it started, but the emotive unexpected power of the chorus really grabbed me. There was a chaotic, cathartic strangeness about the whole track which gripped me n I really enjoyed.


Even The Devil – DonnaMarilyn

This definitely reminds me of The Eagles. There’s a quirky soulfulness n freedom here in how he’s phrasing your cool lyrics, which I think is just great. Its unexpected, has bags of presence n is slightly left-field. A great listen


Where do the Cold Winds Blow? – SlowD

This has an appealing openness n engaging soulful simplicity. The starkness of the production n your vocal really helps add to the atmosphere here too..Good track

 

Walking Tall - Murphster & Kuya

Thought this was really heartfelt n naturally affecting with a sweet childlike quality I loved. Great simple haunting melody, lots of heart in the lyric too. Was really expecting this to do a lot better than it did. Thought the quality of the song would transcend the slightly unpolished production & your non-american idol voice here, but sadly it seems, not

 

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Big congratulates to ScenesFromPalacio. I don't remember how I scored it but after listening to it a couple of more times I think it's cool that I have a song in the same contest as your song. I can't believe your a bedroom recording artist. Billie Joe Armstrong once said something like there are many people who can play and write songs better than he could (he is no slouch of a songwriter either) but they only play in their bedrooms so you never hear them. If you are indeed a bedroom songwriter then you are also proof of his words. Nice song. I definitely will listen to more

Thanx for that man..Have long ago realised quality of soul/songwriting etc has nothing at all to do with "success" these days though...It used to really annoy me n i'd rail like mad against it,but now i (more or less) just accept it..People seem to need strong image/personal charisma/sex appeal/a dramatic life narrative you can market etc to really engage their imaginations n loosen their wallets...Guess its always been like that -but seems even more so nowadays..

The general public are very lazy too, arn't really receptive to the unfamiliar n only want to be bothered with what they already know

With everyone n their grandmother recording now, n flooding the internet with free as water content too- & with the creative bar for success commercially set so low,the "song" as a thing has never had less power n weight than it does now it would seem...So people like me n you n most here i'm sure, do it purely for the love of it..Maybe in some ways its a good thing as there's no commercial pressure to be anything other than ourselves

 

That a band as creatively lazy n mediocre as Oasis can dominate a chart like this speaks volumes i think...I wouldn't give high marks to songs as dull n leaden as Champagne Supernova n Slide Away if they were put in the competitions here, let alone being voted "best of all time !"

 

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Like last month (for fun) i had my guess at final placements here i sent to Paul with my scores n was seriously  off track..Gotta stress this has nothing to do with my personal taste n everything to do with trying objectively to understand the general muse audience for songs n what they'll like/dislike thru nearly 7 years of entering these comps...The main anomalies are my song n Murphsters/kuyas..Mine rating alot higher n theirs alot lower than i thought 

 

1.Your Life – Oswelek

2..Walking Tall Murphster

3..Not My Fault -Triffid

4..You Lift Me Up -Jason Kalman

5 Even The Devil -Donna Marilyn

6.I Got The Satellite -Scenes

7.Future Story -Hobosage

8.Islamorada -Neuron

9.Middle Class Blues -Tunesmith

10.Getaway Plan -Eric Borgos

11.Where Do The Cold Winds Blow ? -Slow D

12 Bottle Of Whisky -Roaddog

13 Old -Moso

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I remember not long ago that somebody mentioned that there was very little commentary after the song contests, can't be bothered to go and find out who, it doesn't matter,  because I am not saying they were wrong - in fact they were probably spot-on. But things have certainly changed co's it has been awesome reading all the comments today, brilliant to see so much feedback and congrats. I hope it continues because it shows what a great bunch of people there are here, all willing to help each other along what can be quite a lonely journey.

 

I feel bad, because I haven't taken the time that some have to write a critique on every entry. I think that everyone who enters deserves at least that. So it is my promise that I will do what some others are already doing anyway and keep notes on all songs in future contests. It seems like the right thing to do.

 

I feel good because some people who I consider to be immensely talented have said nice things about our song, in the grand scheme of things pretty insignificant, in my scheme of things it is the difference between coming home from a crap day at work and spending a couple of hours staring at my phone while ignoring the wife or strumming my guitar and ignoring the wife. This stuff needs a little bit of effort and for that to happen motivation is nice! 

 

Cheers all. 

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9 hours ago, Moso said:

"I wake you to cover me" -- that sounds like a blanket to help you when you are afraid/hurting, or sex, haha. What did you mean? 

 

Btw, my wife also is constantly teaching me how to be a better person, unwittingly, by example. Blows my mind how selfless she is, that beacon of "goodness" that the world needs more of. Anyway, roger that, I understand what you mean there. 

Yeah that's kind of a silly line.  Basically what I meant was if I were to be so selfish as to wake up my wife from a peaceful sleep only to adjust my comfort level - she would totally do it.

 

What I enjoy about all this and in so many if these songs is how people interpret lyrics differently depending on how literal the lyrics are.

 

Cheers,

Pete

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"I wake you to cover me" = "if I were to be so selfish as to wake up my wife from a peaceful sleep only to adjust my comfort level - she would totally do it"? 

 

So you're trying to adjust your comfort level, as in maybe move around the bed or move the covers over yourself, and that wakes your wife, and all you were saying is that she's okay with that? As in "I wake you to cover myself"? Or as in you've had a hard day and want someone to hold or talk to? (Which goes back to the blanket allusion.) 

 

Okie doke... heh 

 

EDIT: I've had several lovers in my life where we'd wake each other up in the middle of the night for amorous activities. Sleeping - wake - embrace for a while - back to sleep. So, the idea is not unusual or wrong in my experience. Just for clarification of where I was coming from. 

 

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13 minutes ago, Moso said:

"I wake you to cover me" = "if I were to be so selfish as to wake up my wife from a peaceful sleep only to adjust my comfort level - she would totally do it"? 

That's how I read it, which made the protagonist so unlikable that it actually diminished my enjoyment of the song.  

 

IMO the tune is worth finding a better way to express her generosity.  Or maybe even introduce how he's finally the type of person who will take care of her when he sees she's kicked the covers off in her sleep.  Anything but making him look like a selfish jerk in what should be a grand finale.  :)

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I guess I just got messed up by the English, the "me" v "myself". Especially with the next line "and you will". 

 

Yeah, and then after that, the lines are: 

But it's just in your nature, hard-wired to the core.
Even runnin' on vapors you'd give more.

 

I totally did not get that all that meant was that he wanted to adjust his comfort level in bed and woke her up but she was okay with it. That's kinda funny, actually. It sounds so intense, but nothing's really happening, lol. I don't mean to offend; I'm kinda laughing at myself in the process. 

 

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5 hours ago, RoadDog said:

What I enjoy about all this and in so many if these songs is how people interpret lyrics differently depending on how literal the lyrics are.

I wanted to mention that that's actually a reason why I don't like to give interpretations of my own lyrics. We personalize lyrics and art by default. (Or failing to do that, don't "connect" or "like" the art generally.) I'm often interested in how people will do that, and I feel that spelling out my meaning intent can ruin that effect. 

 

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