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Neal K

February Lyric Contest

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The timeline is:

• Entries will be accepted now through Midnight Pacific Standard Time (PST) Thursday. February 22

• Voting (scorecards) will take place Friday, February 23 through Midnight PST Tuesday, February 27.

• Don’t start voting until I officially post the scoring instructions.

• I'll post the results on Wednesday, February 28.

 

Here are the rules:

1) It has to be an original lyric that has not been posted on this site previously

2) Send your submission to me (Neal K) via private message and I will post it anonymously on your behalf. The names of each lyric writer will be revealed at the end of the contest.

3) Once you enter your lyric, you cannot change or revise it, or submit another in its place.

4) I will submit it as is, so watch your format and your spelling. I will not change any of your errors after the lyric has been posted.

5) If you enter, you must submit scores for the other lyrics when the submission portion of the contest ends. More details to come.

 

All Musers are welcome to submit songs as contestants or score the songs as non-contestants. Any questions or problems should be sent to me (Neal K) via private message (PM).

 

DO NOT PANIC IF I DON'T POST YOUR LYRIC RIGHT AWAY.  I TRAVEL A LOT AND IT MAY TAKE SEVERAL DAYS BEFORE I CAN POST THE LYRICS.

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Click Click                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

 

click click, the shrill staccato outburst

their haunting cadence breaks the Sunday calm

click click, they echo through my conscience

each one marks another soul that’s gone

 

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

 

click click, time was standing still

every round just hanging in the air

click click, I grabbed my AR 15

barefoot I stepped out and mouthed a prayer

 

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

 

click click, I perched behind the pick up

just as he stepped outta the church door

click click, and just for a brief moment

our eyes locked and we both knew the score

 

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

 

click click, I squeezed off my first rounds

I found my mark and tightened up my aim

click click, he staggered for a moment

Then he turned to me and did the same

 

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

 

click click, I shot for all i hold dear

my wife and kin and neighbors on my mind

click click, he returned the favor

the devil only knows what peace he’d find

 

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

 

click click, the pulling of the trigger

a simpler thing a man has never done

click click, takes what a man has got

and all he’s ever gonna all in one

 

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click

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Travelin'  

 

I'm just travelin' down a quiet road

Sick and tired of being told

Exactly when and what to do

Where, how much 

Who to answer to

That's why I'm here     

Cause I dropped my load

Never again will I pawn my soul

'Cause I'm free

 

Where I'll stop well nobody knows  

The places I'll visit

The mystery grows

 I'll see a lot of them highs and lows

 

People chase and they can't catch me 

Though they keep trying

I need to feel free

No walls or fences far as I see

 

I'm just travelin' down a quiet road

Sick and tired of being told

Exactly when and what to do

Where, how much 

Who to answer to

That's why I'm here     

'Cause I dropped  my load

Never again will I pawn my soul

'Cause I'm free

 

Try to loosen the ties that bind 

And keep me in knots

To free up my mind

I never was the stay at home kind

 

Now I can do much as i please  

And the truth be told 

I'll do it with ease

Me 'n' my dog and the birds in the trees

 

Yes, I'm just travelin' down a quiet road

Sick and tired of being told

Exactly when and what to do

Where, how much 

Who to answer to

That's why I'm here     

'Cause I dropped my load

Never again will I pawn my soul

'Cause I'm free!  I'm free

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Straight Up Whiskey
 
V1
She's got a smile as wide as Texas
As she two steps across the floor
Her painted on jeans are causing a scene
For every Cowboy in this bar
V2
I had it all when I had her
But then she walked right out the door
She used to call me baby
Now she don't call me anymore
CH
She's strong like straight up whiskey
And I cant drink her off my mind
She's running round with all the boys in town
And I'm here killing time
I knew from the day I met her
That girl was just too damn fine
She's strong like straight up whiskey
And I cant drink her off my mind
V3
She's as hot as a bottle rocket
Down south on the 4th of July
Her knee high boots and them daisy dukes
Will make a dead man come alive
V4
I thought I had found my forever
But forever didn't last that long
So now its just me and this bottle
And a juke box full of country songs
CH
She's strong like straight up whiskey
And I cant drink her off my mind
She's running around with all the boys in town
And I'm here killing time
I knew from the day that I met her
That girl was just too damn fine
She's strong like straight up whiskey
And I can't drink her off my mind
BR
Well I gave her all of my lovin
And every penny of my take home pay
But these slow talking Texas cowboys
Are out to steal my girl away

(Out)
I knew from the day that I met her
That girl was just too damn fine
She's strong like straight up whiskey
And I can't drink her off my mind
Yeah she's strong like straight up whiskey
And I can't drink her off my mind

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Sleeping Around      

    

I know you been with him last night

Can’t hide that guilt see it all over your face

You know I’m not into making threats

But I’m also the kind that never forgets.

 

I picked you up when he threw you out

Left you with 2 bags of clothes and nowhere to go

Now I hardly see you and when I do

It’s always not now honey I got the flu

Ch:

So baby guess what

There’s 2 bags out front on the ground

Next to them is a sign

And in big bold letters it reads

Guess who’s been sleeping around

V:

I guess you been playing me all this time

Sleeping, eating and leaving all the dishes

My bad letting it go on for awhile

Been stuck in park it’s time to shift into drive

Ch:

So baby that’s right

There’s 2 bags out front on the ground

Next to them is a sign

And in big bold letters it reads

Guess who’s been sleeping around

Br:

Go ahead and keep the key

And good luck

Oh by the way

I changed the lock

Ch:

So baby good bye

There’s 2 bags out front on the ground

Next to them is a sign

And in big bold letters it reads

Guess who’s been sleeping around

Was is worth sleeping around

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Poor John Druitt

 

(Verse 1)

Dark streets of London
Oh so long ago
Clip of hooves on cobbles
The fog's drawn in low,
Street vendor shouting
“Hear ye the news
Jack's struck again 
And this time it's two!”

(Verse 2)

First had her throat slit
But nothing much more
No pieces missing 
Unlike victim four,
Second of the night
Jack had more time
To slice and rip
At the scene of the crime.

(Pre chorus)

The cops and the press had names in the frame
Some destined to get their five minutes of fame
There were cutthroats and poisoners 
Usual suspects to blame

But Inspector MacNaughten threw out a name.

 

(Chorus)

John Druitt, John Druitt

Poor John Druitt

Pulled from the Thames

With rocks in his pockets,

John Druitt, John Druitt

Poor John Druitt

A handy scapegoat

But the facts don’t fit

 

(Bridge)

There be men that be given to crazy thoughts 
Be they in the asylum or in the courts 
Well, John got six six sixes on the cricket pitches
But there weren't no Devil in him.

Sure, he fitted the description

Had a self-proclaimed affliction

But the facts don’t stack

Time stamps don’t match

Blackheath to Bournemouth

Travels to Dorset

Matches reported

And trains boarded

That left little room for late night prowling

 

(Chorus)

John Druitt, John Druitt

Poor John Druitt

Pulled from the Thames

With rocks in his pockets,

John Druitt, John Druitt

Poor John Druitt

A handy scapegoat

But the facts don’t fit

 

(Verse 3)

Wrong part of London

No Whitechapel abode

No hist’ry of violence

Has ever been proved,

Dismissed from his job

Reason unknown

Fearing insanity

He died alone

 

(Outro)
John didn't do it
Poor John Druitt 
Jack slit throats
Some say wrote notes
But John didn't do it

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I Want to Smell Roses

 

V. 1
Falling leaves twirling
Northern lights swirling
Crystal waves curling
As they race to the shore

 

Full moon’s pale presence
Stars in the heavens
Thunder that deafens
Every time that it roars

 

(Chorus)
I want to smell roses
Their scent on the breeze
I want to hear birdsong
Adrift in the trees
I want to feel sunlight
Warming my skin
I find peace in Nature
Again and again

 

V. 2
River that rushes
Snowfall that hushes
Sunrise that touches
Craggy mountains’ high peaks

 

White clouds that billow
Tears of the willow
Soft sand a pillow
For my oceanside sleep

 

(Chorus)
I want to smell roses
Their scent on the breeze
I want to hear birdsong
Adrift in the trees
I want to feel sunlight
Warming my skin
I find peace in Nature
Again and again

 

(Bridge)
In the stillness of the night
Right before the first light
As one by one the stars disperse
I give thanks
For the beauty of the universe

 

(Chorus)
I want to smell roses
Their scent on the breeze
I want to hear birdsong
Adrift in the trees
I want to feel sunlight
Warming my skin
I find peace in Nature
Again and again

 

(Outro)
I find peace in Nature
Again and again
(2X)
 

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I'm Floating

 

I live in a very low frequency
You can see my thoughts as they roam around my face
Everything moves in retrograde like I’m in outer space

Gravity, gravity has no hold on me
Now this is what it means to be free

I’m floating
I’m floating
I’m floating
in slow motion

I can move forwards and backwards
Feel the rush of blood through every corner of my soul
When I'm heaven dwelling you should see me somersault

Gravity, gravity has no hold on me
Now this is what it means to be free

I’m floating
I’m floating
I’m floating
In slow motion

 

Where I want to

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Silver Queen

 

Verse 1

Silver Queen Corn grows sweet and juicy

It was grandpa’s pick for making whiskey

Sprouted, dried and ground by Grandma Lucy

Silver Queen fueled our economy

 

Verse 2

Grandpa had a copper still deep in a holler

Under cover of hardwoods and pines

He worked hard to make every dollar

Distilling spirits nose to the grind

 

Chorus

Grandpa grew corn in a field by the river

Middle of the summer it was tall and green

Sealed in jars when ready to deliver

Moonshine whiskey made from Silver Queen

 

Bridge

Jars filled they’d meet at the river

Load up grandpa’s flat-bottomed boat

He’d paddle up river beneath silver stars

Faith kept that old skiff afloat

 

Chorus

Grandpa grew corn in a field by the river

Middle of the summer it was tall and green

Sealed in jars when ready to deliver

Moonshine whiskey made from Silver Queen

 

Tag

Love the taste of that sweet Silver Que

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your counterfeit heart

 

V1

You’re an absolute goddess, too good to be real

Can’t believe I’m with someone so ideal    

I’m fine with fake nails and tattooed brows

Whatever you want that plastic surg’ry allows

 

V2  

You bought some embellishments, no big deal       

I like a girl who cares about her sex appeal

Don’t mind you goin’ for synthetic parts

But I have a real problem with your counterfeit heart

 

Chorus

Your counterfeit heart doesn’t know how to care 

The warm and loving part just isn’t there

You got my attention right from the start

But I can’t love a woman with a counterfeit heart      

 

V3

One of these days you’re gonna wake up old

You’ll be all alone because your heart is cold

You thought you could make it as a work of art

But the part that needs work is your counterfeit heart

 

Chorus

Your counterfeit heart doesn’t know how to care

The warm and loving part just isn’t there

You got my attention right from the start

But I can’t love a woman with a counterfeit heart      

 

Bridge      

You look fantastic but you can’t compare

To a loving partner with a real live heart

Show me a woman who knows how to care

I’ll show you a beauty with a ten on the chart  

 

Chorus

Your counterfeit heart doesn’t know how to care

The warm and loving part just isn’t there

You got my attention right from the start

But I can’t love a woman with a counterfeit heart 

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You Will Never Know Her

 

 

(Chorus)
He knows that she prefers blue over pink

And that coke is her favorite drink.

He never missed one of her recitals

And loved to hear her play.

You will never know her like he does

Because you let her walk away.


(V1) 
She was full of life, our beautiful little girl.  
With a smile on her face, she always loved to twirl.
But every day you pushed away even more 
So we packed all of our bags and walked out the door. 


(Chorus)
He knows that she prefers blue over pink

And that coke is her favorite drink.

He never missed one of her recitals

And loved to hear her play.

You will never know her like he does

Because you let her walk away.


(V2) 
The days turned to weeks and weeks into months.
You did not come to look for us not even once.
Along came a man who made me his wife,
And promised that our girl would have a better life.


(Chorus)
He knows that she prefers blue over pink

And that coke is her favorite drink.

He never missed one of her recitals

And loved to hear her play.

You will never know her like he does

Because you let her walk away.



(V3) 
Now that she is all grown you want her back.
You must have been drinking too much of that cognac.
You have missed out and now it is too late
There is nothing left for us at all to debate.


(Bridge)
You never gave her any of your time
Now the memory of you has faded to the back of her mind.

She is no longer your little girl 
She’s the center of another mans world.
There is no going back, it is what it is
And now her heart is forever his


(Chorus)
He knows that she prefers blue over pink

And that coke is her favorite drink.

He never missed one of her recitals

And loved to hear her play.

You will never know her like he does

Because you let her walk away.

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Nigel “No-Mates”

 
Intro

I heard a sad story from Mana island today

Nigel the love-struck gannet had passed away….

 

Verse 1

Oh what cost, the price of true love?

When you find the perfect mate - you’ve been dreaming of

Attentively, try your best to woo her

Show how much you care – do anything for her

And if it seems, she’s slow to understand                               

That’s ok - maybe she’s from a diff’rent land

 

Chorus

Five long years, he tried to woo her           

Through wind and rain, while the seasons changed

Now word is spreading of his lonely crusade

And that is how…(that is how )

The legend………. (the Legend)

Of Nigel “No Mates” was made

 

Verse 2

Her yellow neck, oh how her plumage shines             

Beak to the sky, that’s her courting sign

Nigel copied her pose and tapped her bill                  

And if it seemed she’s playing hard to get

That’s ok – he will win her over yet

 

Chorus

Five long years, he tried to woo her           

Through wind and rain, while the seasons changed

Now word is spreading of his lonely crusade

And that is how…(that is how )

The legend………. (the Legend)

Of Nigel “No Mates” was made

 

Bridge

He built her a nest of seaweed and twigs

Lovingly laid down beside her feet

Never understanding her still life pose

That she was just made of concrete

 

Chorus

Five long years, he tried to woo her           

Through wind and rain, while the seasons changed

Now word is spreading of his lonely crusade

And that is how…(that is how )

The legend………. (the Legend)

Of Nigel “No Mates” was made

 

Tag

Nigel passed away with her above           

Hoping that….

One day…….(one day)

She’d fall…. (She’d fall)

….in Love

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I Aint Drunk

 

Intro

*Cell Phone Ringtone*

Girls Voice: Hello

Guy’s Voice: Hey, girl

Girls Voice: (Deep Sigh) What do you want?

Guy’s Voice: I just gotta tell ya

 

Verse 1

Look,

I messed up on our first go around

Left you hanging and I let you down

I told you lies about where I was

Fridays nights I use to come home drunk

Smelling like another girl

You deserved better girl

 

Intro to chorus

And I know, it might be

Hard for you to believe

But baby, baby

Baby

 

Chorus

I ain't drunk, I’m calling you sober

I messed up, I wanna do over

I’ll treat you better than I did before

Tell ya that I love you a whole lot more

It’s coming from the heart, not from the bottle

Give me a shot, I’ll go full throttle

To your place

Wanna see your face

Every morning when I wake up

I ain't drunk

 

Verse 2

Nah,

This ain't the whiskey talking tonight

I’m thinking straight, I got a clear mind

Might sound crazy, but when we broke up

It gave me the chance to take a long hard look

In the mirror and I saw

How I did you all wrong

 

Intro to chorus

And I know, it might be

Hard for you, to believe

But I’m sorry, sorry

Sorry

 

 

Chorus

I ain't drunk, I’m calling you sober

I messed up, I wanna do over

I’ll treat you better than I did before

Tell ya that I love you a whole lot more

It’s coming from the heart, not from the bottle

Give me a shot, I’ll go full throttle

To your place

Wanna see your face

Every morning when I wake up

I ain't drunk

 

 

Bridge

It aint JD, JB, or Wild Turkey

That’s got me, crazy, about you baby

 

I just miss you girl

I just wish you were

With me, with me

With me, tonight

 

 Chorus/Outro (SUNG SOFTLY)

I ain't drunk, I’m calling you sober

I messed up, I wanna do over

I’ll treat you better than I did before

TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU A WHOLE LOT MORE!

 

I ain't drunk, I’m calling you sober

I messed up, I wanna do over

I’ll treat you better than I did before

Tell ya that I love you a whole lot more

It’s coming from the heart, not from the bottle

Give me a shot, I’ll go full throttle

To your place

Wanna see your face

Every morning when I wake up

  • I ain't drunk

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Crazy

 

V1

Son, you had the gift to make us laugh

The boy with a playful heart

You were my child, my baby; now, they say you're crazy.

Where's that kid smiling back at me in the photograph?

The one that wasn't crazy.

 

[Chorus]

Crazy, crazy

Its silly, it's strange

Just the word makes me insane

You're a beautiful madness

But with a touch of sadness

When they call you crazy.

 

V2

You once built forts and played outside

Created secret worlds where you could hide

Invisible friends only you could see

Back then it never phased me;

I didn't know that someday you'd be crazy

 

[Chorus]

Crazy, crazy

It's silly, it's strange

Just the word makes me insane

You're a beautiful madness 

But with a touch of sadness

When they call you crazy

 

V3

Now you're much older than you were back then

You're a knight in King Arthur's court slaying dragons once again

Childlike dreams still existing in your head

But you no longer sleep soundly in your bed ;

Why do you have to be so crazy?

 

[Chorus]

Crazy, crazy

It's silly, its strange

Just the word makes me insane

You're a beautiful madness

But with a touch of sadness

When they call you crazy

 

V4

Committed and locked away

You had no where to go and now that's where you have to stay

You wander aimlessly through the halls

Leaving me wishing again that you were small;

Back when you weren't crazy

 

[Chorus]

Crazy, crazy

It's silly, it's strange

Just the word makes me insane

You're a beautiful madness

But with a touch of sadness

When they call you crazy....

 

How I wish you weren't crazy.

 

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I Came into This World Cryin'
(And I'm Leavin' the Same Way)

 

When I came into this world cryin'
Momma held me in her arms
Said I'll always be here for you
And I'll shelter you from harm

 

Despite all the love she gave me
Fast forward to today
I came into this world cryin'
And I'm leavin' the same way

 

ch
I came into this world cryin'
And I'm leavin' the same way
Oh I had myself a good life
And I really can't complain
Got my family here to help me
Got my pills to kill the pain
But I came into this world cryin
And I'm leavin' the same way

 

br
Oh I know I shouldn't grumble
Plenty folks - they had it worse
But I'm gonna make some trouble
'fore they slide me in that hearse

 

Cause..
I came into this world cryin'
And I'm leavin' the same way
Oh I had myself a good life
And I really can't complain
Got my family here to help me
Got my pills to kill the pain
But I came into this world cryin'
And I'm leavin' the same way

 

I came into this world cryin'..
And I'm leavin' the same way.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

 

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Good Morning, My Demons

 

V1
Good morning, my demons
I know you don’t know me
But how about getting acquainted

V2
Good morning, my demons
I’d like you to show me
The way to becoming unsainted

Bridge
I’ll lock Miss Goody-Two-Shoes in the closet
Nail Miss No-I’d-Never to the wall
I’ll wear fishnet stockings and a dress of red silk
I’ll swear like a trooper, drink whisky in milk
Then break people’s hearts, and I’ll cheat and I’ll lie 
And be the best student that ever dropped by
Oh, I really want to come out and play 
But it’s likely I won’t meet you at all
Because my angels keep blocking the way

V3
Good morning, my demons
I know you don’t owe me
A thing, but I’d like to be tainted

V4 
Good morning, my demons
I'd like to pretend I'm
A picture Bonnard might have painted

Tag
I’d love to do battle
But I don’t know you well enough to fight
Though with a little intervention
And the worst of intentions
Maybe that will change tonight

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Almost The Same 
 
(V1)
What ever's happened to my friend Elliann
She was always as happy as the sun
Now it seems she lives under some dark cloud
Instead of out with the crowd having fun
 
(Ch)
We played together since we were kids
How we used to laugh at our games
We grew up liking the same sort of things 
People said that we were close,
So close we were almost the same.
 
(V2)
She went to university which seemed ok
But every year she withdrew a little more
Last time she went, she stayed a little longer
Came home 'n shut and bolted her door.
 
(V3)
I try to find a way past her defense
But her stonewalling holds me at bay
Something she hides is tormenting her soul
It's bad if she dreads what I'll say?
 
(V4)
One day she broke down and fell into my arms. 
She never thought her life would come to this
Her boyfriend from Uni' had died of AIDS 
She is pregnant and the baby's his 
 
(V5)
She and her baby have a no known cure
Her face had turned a deathly white
What could I say at a time like this 
There's no way I could ease her plight 
 
(V6)
She'd been in the water for about a week
When the cops fished her out at the port
Only I knew why she ended life this way
If pressed hard, I will shut and bolt my door
 
(Ch)
We played together since we were kids
How we used to laugh at our games
We grew up liking the same sort of things 
People said that we were so close
So close we were almost the same.

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Broke

 

i ain’t got no money

im broke as broke can be

i can’t pay my rent

cause all my money is spent

 

chorus

I’ve got bill collectors callin me all day

and I’ve got no way to pay them, no way (x2)

 

verse 2

i’ve got my 6-string

and a can on the street

hopin for a few dollars

to buy somethin to eat

 

chorus

I’ve got bill collectors callin me all day

and I’ve got no way to pay them, no way (x2)

 

verse 3

i may be broke

but it won’t get me down

cause I know some way

It’ll all turn right back around

 

chorus

I’ve got bill collectors callin me all day

and I’ve got no way to pay them, no way (x2)

 

bridge

ive still got $2 left to my name (x4)

 

verse 4

took my last $2

and gambled through the night

and I hit a little hot streak 

and it all turned out allright

 

Last chorus

Now no more bill collectors callin me all day

Cause you see I paid them all yesterday

nownive got a little money left to spare

im gonna keep on living without a care (x2)

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THE CROSS COUNTY FAIR          

 

V1

Well, the Cross County Fair, only comes once a year

They have barkers and pretzels and carousel rides      

 But what rides thru my dreams, is the girl in blue jeans

At the barn, at the Cross County Fair

 

V2

She was showing a horse, she’d raised from a colt

To a panel of judges, who touched every seam

From the flank, thru the mane, as the girl held the reins

to the mare, at the Cross County Fair

 

(CHORUS 1)

At the Cross County Fair

A farm girl I saw

Brighter by far

Than a full moon I’ve seen

A blue ribbon I’d give

To the girl with the mare

She won my heart …at the Cross County Fair

 

V3

Now the judges discussed, all the horses they’d seen

For an hour they weighed, the pros and the cons

In the end it went fast, all votes were cast

For the mare at the Cross County Fair....

 

(BRIDGE)

And that night there was a barn dance

We clung to the music

played by a spry band, of weathered old men

We spun and we spun, and I saw in her eyes

All the blues in the world, all the stars…and all the stars

 

V4

She loaded the horse, in a trailer that rode

On a rusty old pick-up, that ran many miles

As I stood in the dust, kicked up by the truck

She waved goodbye, to the Cross County Fair

 

(CHORUS 2)

At the Cross County Fair

A farm girl I saw

Brighter by far

Than a full moon I’ve seen

A blue ribbon I’d give

To the girl with the mare

She won my heart …at the Cross County Fair

The Cross County Fair....

 

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In The Tank

 

Verse 1:
All alone
'till I found you
my tour of duty
almost through

in desert winds
and stormy skies
I found the beauty
lost in your eyes

Pre-Chorus:
and I held your hand
it was there we made our stand
sounds of war both near and far
on the streets of Kandahar
on those streets of Kandahar

Chorus:
In the back of my tank
we fell in love
exploding rockets
the heavens above

That night time stood still
oh, babe, it was not a drill
didn't even know
your name or rank
ya, in the back of my tank
oh, babe, in the back of that tank

Verse 2:
We made it home
both safe and sound
much was lost
but much was found

and I still hold your hand
without words you understand

Pre-Chorus:
I came, I conquered
to Uncle Sam I do thank
life changed forever
that night in the tank
oh, one night in the tank
ya, that night in the tank

Chorus:
In the back of my tank
we fell in love
exploding rockets
the heavens above

That night time stood still
oh, babe, it was not a drill
didn't even know your name or rank
ya, in the back of my tank
oh, in the back of that tank
ya, in the back of my tank
ya, in the back of my tank

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Subway Girls

 

V

We are the sub-way girls

Riding on the F and E

Sub-way girls

A stop away from easy street

Sub-way girls

Rising when the sun goes down

Sub-way girls

One day we’re gonna own this town

 

PC

Head up, eyes lit, we don’t need a fire

Strong beat, tattoos, dancing with desire

 

CH

But underneath it all

Frail and forgotten

Feeling lost and small

A teardrop in Manhattan

Ooh-wa, ooh wa, that is what we are

Ooh-wa, ooh wa, that is all we are

Sub-way girls

 

V

We are the sub-way girls

Tweeting out our stories

Sub-way girls

Imagining our glories

Sub-way girls

Touching up our faces

Sub-way girls

Leaving lipstick traces

 

PC

Hair down, cheeks red, laughing all together

Cursing, drinking, doesn’t get much better

 

CH

But underneath it all

Frail and forgotten

Feeling lost and small

A teardrop in Manhattan

Ooh-wa, ooh wa, that is what we are

Ooh-wa, ooh wa, that is all we are

Sub-way girls

 

BR

We'll ride these trains forever

We have no destination

Every stop’s adventure

New with rich temptation

 

CH

But underneath it all

Frail and forgotten

Feeling lost and small

A teardrop in Manhattan

Ooh-wa, ooh wa, that is what we are

Ooh-wa, ooh wa, that is all we are

Sub-way girls

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TIME TO SCORE!

Voting (scorecards) will take place Friday, February 23 through Midnight PST Tuesday, February 27.  I won’t get a chance to look at the scores until Tuesday night, so I’m not able to remind anyone who has not submitted their scores.

 

PLEASE READ BEFORE SUBMITTING YOUR SCORES:

1. Please title your post, "LYRIC SCORES."

 

2. When you sent me your scores, put the number to the left of the song title, like this: “1.5 - Song Title.”

 

3. Also important… leave a blank spot for your song, but keep the title in the list. For example, if your song title is “I Love Goats,” your scores should look like this:

 

4.5 Song Title

3.0 Song Title

....I Love Goats

1.5 Song Title

 

4. Please read and rate each lyric using the scoring table below (Scores of 1.0 and 5.0 should be rare). Copy and paste the list at the bottom of this post and insert your score to the left of each title. Then send your scores to me them to me (Neal K) in a Private Message before Midnight PST Tuesday, February 27

 

- Do not rank the songs, from 5 down to 1; use the criteria below

- Do not rank the songs against each other; use the criteria below

- Do not score your own lyric

 

If you are a contestant, you must provide scores or your entry will be disqualified 

 

Ask yourself how well the lyric flows/rhymes. Does it create emotions? Can you imagine it set to music?

 

1.0 - Excellent.

1.5 - Almost Excellent

2.0 - Very Good

2.5 - Good

3.0 - Above Average

3.5 - Average

4.0 - Below Average

4.5 - Poor

5.0 - Very Poor

 

Here are the Lyric Titles

 

Clik Clik

Travelin'

Straight Up Whiskey

Sleeping Around

Poor John Druit

I Want to Smell Roses

I'm Floating

Silver Queen

Your counterfeit heart

You Will Never Know Her

Nigel "NoMates:

I Ain't Drunk

Crazy

I Came into this World Crying (And I’m Leaving the Same Way)

Good Morning my Demons

Almost the Same

Broke

The Cross County Fair

In the Tank

Subway Girls

 

 

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The Winners ARE

 

1st Place

I Want to Smell Roses

lyriCAL

 

2nd Place

Silver Queen

greybeard

 

Here are the rest of the scores:

 

I Want to Smell Roses lyriCAL 1.5 2.5 2.0 3.0 1.5 3.0 2.5 3.0 4.0 3.0 3.0 2.0 3.0 4.0 2.5 2.0 4.0 1.5 3.0 51.0
Silver Queen graybeard 2.5 2.5 2.5 3.0 1.5 3.5 1.5 3.0 3.0 3.5 3.0 3.5 3.0 3.0 2.5 3.0 2.0 2.5 3.5 52.5
Poor John Druit SongWolfe 3.0 3.5 2.5 3.5 3.0 2.0 3.0 2.5 3.0 2.5 3.5 1.5 2.5 4.0 2.0 3.0 2.5 2.5 3.5 53.5
The Cross County Fair Song Duck 3.5 2.0 3.0 3.5 1.5 2.5 2.5 3.5 3.5 2.5 2.0 4.0 3.5 2.5 2.0 3.0 3.0 2.5 3.5 54.0
Straight Up Whiskey JOEINJAX 2.5 3.0 3.0 3.5 3.0 2.0 2.0 3.0 3.5 2.5 3.0 3.0 4.0 3.0 1.5 3.0 2.5 2.5 4.0 54.5
You Will Never Know Her Art1108 3.0 2.0 3.5 3.5 3.5 2.5 2.5 3.5 3.0 4.0 2.0 3.0 1.0 2.5 3.0 4.0 3.5 1.5 3.5 55.0
Nigel "NoMates: Andy LeF 3.5 3.0 3.0 4.0 2.0 4.0 2.5 3.5 3.0 3.5 3.0 2.5 1.0 3.0 2.5 2.0 4.0 2.5 3.0 55.5
Subway Girls FrankLeeFabian 3.0 3.0 3.0 4.0 2.0 3.0 1.5 3.0 3.0 3.5 3.5 2.5 3.5 2.5 2.0 3.0 2.0 4.5 3.5 56.0
Your counterfeit heart Peko 3.5 2.5 2.5 3.5 3.5 2.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 4.0 2.5 1.5 2.0 2.0 2.0 4.0 3.5 2.5 4.0 56.5
I Ain't Drunk Tyler Porter 3.5 3.0 3.0 3.5 2.5 2.5 2.5 3.5 3.5 3.0 3.0 3.0 4.5 3.5 1.5 4.0 2.5 3.0 2.5 58.0
Crazy Vhannah 4.0 3.0 3.5 3.5 4.0 3.0 3.0 2.5 3.0 4.0 2.0 2.0 3.0 3.5 2.5 4.0 3.5 3.5 2.5 60.0
I Came into this World Crying Paul Canuck 3.0 2.0 3.0 3.5 4.0 3.0 1.5 3.0 4.0 2.0 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.0 3.0 4.0 3.5 3.0 4.0 60.0
I'm Floating Tracy Somebody 3.0 3.5 3.0 2.5 4.0 3.5 3.5 3.0 3.5 3.0 3.5 4.0 3.5 3.0 2.5 4.0 3.5 3.0 3.5 63.0
Good Morning my Demons Donna Marylin 3.5 3.5 2.0 4.0 2.5 2.5 3.0 2.5 4.0 4.0 3.5 4.0 3.5 5.0 2.5 4.0 4.0 2.0 3.5 63.5
In the Tank Eric Borgos 3.5 3.5 3.0 3.0 3.5 3.0 3.0 3.5 3.5 4.0 3.0 3.0 2.5 4.0 2.5 4.0 3.5 3.0 4.5 63.5
Travelin' Kuya 3.5 3.0 2.5 4.0 3.5 3.0 2.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 4.0 3.0 3.5 3.5 2.5 4.0 3.5 3.5 4.0 64.0
Almost the Same Clemo 4.0 3.5 3.5 4.0 4.0 3.0 1.5 3.0 3.5 3.0 3.5 3.5 3.5 4.0 2.5 3.5 3.5 3.0 4.0 64.0
Broke Hotshelrae 3.5 3.5 3.5 2.5 3.5 3.0 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.0 3.0 4.0 3.0 4.0 3.0 3.0 2.5 4.0 4.5 64.0
Clik Clik Ty Cobb 3.0 3.5 3.0 4.0 3.0 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.0 4.0 2.5 3.5 3.5 2.0 5.0 4.0 2.5 4.5 65.0
Sleeping Around Barneyboy 3.5 3.5 3.0 3.5 3.5 4.0 2.0 3.5 3.5 4.0 3.5 4.0 4.0 3.0 3.0 4.0 4.0 3.0 3.5 66.0

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Congratulations to LyriCal, Graybeard, and SongWolfe!  Great job, each of you. It was a strong crowded field. Nice to see so many participating.  Thanks Neal! 

      My favorites, in no particular order, were by lyrical, song duck, paul,  Art,  peko and graybeard. 

       

Edited by kuya

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Well done, worthy - and not surprising - winners! :) The competition was strong for sure, and it was good to have so many participants. I hope the trend continues.

 

I especially enjoyed, among others, 'I Ain't Drunk', 'Straight Up Whisky' (good story-telling & imagery), and 'Cross Country Fair' (I love a good folk tale).

 

It was particularly interesting to note the diversity of themes and the specific ways they were handled. Really nice work, everyone. ;)

 

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Congratulations to LyricCal and Greybeard!

 

My favourites this month were: "Your Counterfeit Heart" - a fresh angle there and a really great hook. "You Will Never Know Her" - an interesting take on not being there for someone, "Crazy" - many fab lines on a very difficult subject and the "Cross Country Fair" - a classic country song well told.

 

Thanks to Neal for organising this despite all his traveling :):) 

 

Andy

 

 

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Congratulations to the winner LyriCAL, and to the placegetters Graybeard and SongWolfe for their outstanding entries.

 

I had Paul Canuck's I Came Into This World Crying, JOEINJAX's Straight Up Whiskey and SongWolfe's Poor John Druit as my top picks this month. 

 

I found I rather like being the meat (or vegan substitute) on a Paul Canuck, DonnaMarilyn sandwich. :) 

 

Thank you NealK for your above and beyond service this month, you really do have a lot to put up with. :)

 

 

 

 

 

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Congrats to lyrical great lyric. I really liked Silver Queen and straight up Whiskey as well. Really thought all the lyrics were strong this month. 

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Congrats to the (deserved :)) winners!

My top pick was "Your Counterfeit Heart (clever!)" and I had three tied for second place - You Will Never Know Her (poignant), Subway Girls (fun!) and The Cross County Fair (Neil Youngish)

Good turnout and solid lyrics by all.

Thanks to (Saint) Neal for stepping up this month.

 

Paul

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Congratulations to LyriCAL, Graybeard, and Songwolfe. This one was very hard because there were so many amazing lyrics. I have to say Poor John Druitt was my favorite. I thought that was very creative and unique. My runners up were, I want to smell Roses, Counterfiet Heart, and Crazy. Everyone did a great job. I can’t wait to see what lyrics everyone puts up for next month.  Oh and one of last months runner ups “The Trouble Is” by Paul Canuck is put to music now. It sounds really good. I don’t know who all has listened to it yet but it’s in the song competition for February along with other amazing songs. I just thought I’d bring it up seeing that it was one of last months runners up. It’s neat to read and judge a lyric and then hear it put to music. Really cool! Great job Paul!

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Guest

Congratulations to everyone for the willingness to put yourselves out there; makes everyone a winner in my eyes!

I have to say my absolute favorite was you'll never know her followed by Andy Lef's Nagel( loved the lyrics)  In the tank was great too.  Lots of entries, a lot of great competition. 

I'm with ART with the song The Trouble is...  very emotional when put to music.

 

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Well done to LyriCAL and Greybeard and to everyone who entered. I thought the standard this month was the highest in the time that I've been entering these contests.

 

I had 'I want to smell roses', 'Silver Queen' and 'The cross county fair' all tied for first place. There were loads of other good entries. A couple of others I would call out are 'Nigel No mates' and 'Subway Girls'.

 

And I'm delighted with my entry's performance. Wasn't expecting a lyric about an event that happened in 19th century London to do so well so a very nice surprise!

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Fun contest! Congratulations to lyriCAL. A very nice lyric.

My favorites were I Ain't Drunk, Crazy, Nigel and I Want to Smell Roses.

A very interesting collection of lyrics this month with some real standouts. Thank you, Neal, for running the contests.

 

 

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11 hours ago, ART1108 said:

Congratulations to LyriCAL, Graybeard, and Songwolfe. This one was very hard because there were so many amazing lyrics. I have to say Poor John Druitt was my favorite. I thought that was very creative and unique. My runners up were, I want to smell Roses, Counterfiet Heart, and Crazy. Everyone did a great job. I can’t wait to see what lyrics everyone puts up for next month.  Oh and one of last months runner ups “The Trouble Is” by Paul Canuck is put to music now. It sounds really good. I don’t know who all has listened to it yet but it’s in the song competition for February along with other amazing songs. I just thought I’d bring it up seeing that it was one of last months runners up. It’s neat to read and judge a lyric and then hear it put to music. Really cool! Great job Paul!

 

10 hours ago, Vhannah said:

Congratulations to everyone for the willingness to put yourselves out there; makes everyone a winner in my eyes!

I have to say my absolute favorite was you'll never know her followed by Andy Lef's Nagel( loved the lyrics)  In the tank was great too.  Lots of entries, a lot of great competition. 

I'm with ART with the song The Trouble is...  very emotional when put to music.

 

 

Thanks for the kind words on Trouble is... really glad you liked it :)

 

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Congratulations to LyriCal, Greybeard and SongWolfe--and all the others who entered.  

 

I sort of forgot about this contest, and even commented on Ty's entry hours before I remembered that I had entered, too!  Duh.  Finished about middle with Your Counterfeit Heart, which is OK with me in this fine field. (Thank you, Paul!) I think the entries are getting better and better, and that helps all of us.

 

Nice work, everyone! It still continues to amaze me how varied the scores are for the same song!  Wonder what, if anything, that means?

 

Patty

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Thank you all very much for the kind words and votes. Color me pleasantly, very pleasantly, surprised. I was sure one of the excellent "story" lyrics just had to win this month. Congratulations to graybeard, too!

 

Let me say that 20 entries (I'm positive I've never seen more) is a strong testament to the health of Muse Songwriters and, obviously, the lyrics section. Makes me happy to see that and I have to give thanks one more time to Alistair for keeping this site alive and well! And to Neal for stepping up to run this contest despite a heavy schedule.

 

I'm as intrigued as you are, Patty, about the scoring month after month. So many wonderful lyrics getting 4's that it makes me scratch my head.

 

So, my top two this month were so equally good to me that I couldn't pick one over the other: Straight Up Whiskey and Poor John Druitt. I'll be brutally honest here -- it would've been Druitt but the bridge has three "be"s in 10 words -- and that be too many "be"s for me! But I thought both lyrics as a whole were excellent and I could "hear" them as I read them, which is key for me. I had a bunch grouped just below that -- Your Counterfeit Heart, You Will Never Know Her, Good Morning My Demons, and Cross County Fair. Great work, all.

 

On to March!

 

Doug

 

 

 

 

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Congrats on another win Lyrical. Good write as always.

Shout to Beard, Duck and Wolf also. Nice job all

 

And thanks for the kind word Lyrical on Straight up whiskey.

 

I believe the scoring discrepancies are evidence of how different peoples taste are when it comes to music.

I am routinely way off base with the final standings after the monthly contests.

I just attribute it to the fact that I was a poor student and I am currently a great drinker.

Both probably play an equally substantial part.

 

Cheers,

Joe  

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A big thanks to Neal K for taking out time and giving us a great competiton. And a nod of thanks to Alstair for making this site so successful.

There were some very exceptional lyrics this month, my favourite to win was by AndyLef,

However there were some other great lyric also, I think we are quite a talented bunch on here and in that sense we 

are all to be congratulated we all have new songs under our belt,

I too am amazed at the differences in the values of the scores awarded, how can one lryric have a score of - 1.5 =almost excelent,

and then the same lyric receive several low 4s = below average. and then get an even lower 4.5 = poor, something very amiss here indeed. it is so disheartening it makes me wonder if their is any reason compeeting in such a farcical system. caused by ai ridiculous obscure narrow scoring system or is simply a case of Injustice at its worst.

Mike

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I like the scoring criteria as is - it tries to make the scoring as objective as possible and should help improve the way the conscientious lyric scorer will think about his/her own lyrics - i.e. self improvement.

 

Perhaps the only scoring change worth considering would be to bring back the rule where the scorer gets the average of the scores he/she submits - that should tend to discourage 'tactical scoring', where ALL lyrics are marked low - rather easy to spot on the scoring table...

 

The contests are a bit of fun really - the serious songwriter will know themselves about the quality of their own contribution. The contests do have the great advantage to us all of making us (who enter) write something to a time limit - getting something done occasionally!

 

Just my 2cents...

 

Andy

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