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Love In Peace

 

New version:

 

[V1]

It doesn't matter what others say

You can be black, white, or alien gray

You may be straight, bi, or gay

Male, female, neither or both

I swear to you this solemn oath

I will except you and be your friend

 

[Ch]

Everybody live in peace, love in peace

Let the real you shine through

Everybody live in peace, love in peace

To thine own self be true

Love in peace, love in peace, love in peace

 

[V2]

You've no need to hide or pretend

Even if I can't comprehend

Still I will love and defend

I don't really need to understand

Just to be ready to lend a hand

And to take you as you really are

 

[Bridge]

You're welcome to my world and my nation

Welcome to my life, welcome to my habitation

 

[Repeat Ch] 

 

[V3]

I don't care what you believe in

Nor to what God you may cleave

Whatever your mind may conceive

I'll respect your faith and convictions

I'll never lay on any restrictions

I'm just here to be there for you.

 

[Repeat Ch]

 

Original:

[V1]

You often hear someone say

Boys will be boys and girls will be girls

But sometimes it's the other way

And sometimes they're gay and that's okay.

 

[V2]

We don't wanna hear no snide reference

About somebody else's gender choice

Or about their love preference.

Let's show tolerance with all due deference.

 

[Ch]

Everybody live in peace, love in peace

Let the real you shine through

Everybody live in peace, love in peace

To thine own self be true

Love in peace, love in peace, love in peace

 

[V3]

You don't need to be a pretender

Love whoever you want to love

Don't be afraid to show your true gender

Be who you are, and I'll be your defender

 

Edited by Amerigo
Re-write
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Amerigo,

 

Well, first off, I love the message, so I’d like to see this lyric succeed.

 

I’m not skilled enough to tell you what I think needs to change about it, but it feels more like a Letter to the Editor than a lyric. The exception is the Chorus, which sounds about right to me.

 

Maybe some others will have some more helpful suggestions.

 

Patty

 

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Hi Amerigo,

          the phrase gender choice threw me. Is it correct to call it a choice?  That’s all I have. Very nice sentiment. Nice job.

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11 hours ago, Amerigo said:

Love In Peace

[V1]

You often hear someone say

Boys will be boys and girls will be girls  Lousy beginning.What does that mean?

But sometimes it's the other way

And sometimes they're gay and that's okay.  What do boys acting like girls and girls acting like boys necessarily have to do with being gay?  Some boys, men , women, girls act more or less masculine or feminine. Sometimes they're gay. Sometimes they're not. Sometimes they're bi-sexual too and even then there are many shades of gray in between.  Personally, I don't like labels. 

 

[V2]

We don't wanna hear no snide reference

About somebody else's gender choice  Hmmm.  A gender choice sounds more like a sex change or transgender.  Is that what the point of view meant?  Unclear. If not, then coming out and being 'gay' has nothing to do with making a gender choice. If you're gay or bi-sexual regardless of gender, you're still a man and or a woman and regardless of how masculine or feminine one looks or behaves. 

Or about their love preference  If the above line is about a choice to be gay, then I would consider a replacement for the above line regardless of what I said above.  Many shades of gray in the sex dept and what may be a choice for some (psychologically) may not be for others in terms of who one is interested in for physical contact and emotional relationships.

Let's show tolerance with all due deference.

 

[Ch]

Everybody live in peace, love in peace    -  This is the only part to what is written that actually works thus far.  

Let the real you shine through

Everybody live in peace, love in peace

To thine own self be true

Love in peace, love in peace, love in peace

 

[V3]

You don't need to be a pretender

Love whoever you want to love

Don't be afraid to show your true gender -   Again, what do you mean by show your true gender?  If the point of view is referencing transgender people then I can understand this but showing the world one is gay has no bearing on one's "true gender", just being true to oneself and that could be anyone. Gay, straight, bi-sexual, transgender.  

Be who you are, and I'll be your defender -   Why does the point of view feel he needs to be anyone's defender? 

 

The chorus is simple and the message is universal. Unless you're attempting to be controversial and make a statement I would encourage you to keep this universal like the chorus.  Live and let live and love who you want to is the basic message. The gay theme or idea really doesn't even have to be mentioned but I sense that is what you're going for with this one. Go back and start editing and re-thinking what it is you the writer are attempting to say. Not sure what you meant by gender choice and true gender above.  This also comes off (in the verses mostly) as preachy.  The point of view is trying to educate or make everyone aware. Don't approach it from that angle. It deludes the message and potential power of the theme.  If this is to work, you'll need to iron out the gender references and make this non-preachy.  

Edited by spanishbuddha
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I know it's hard to follow at this point. 

I'm trying to incorporate the rights of transgenders, cross dressers, homosexuals, bisexuals, etc to all be able to live and love in peace. 

13 hours ago, Amerigo said:

Boys will be boys and girls will be girls

But sometimes it's the other way

This means, people aren't always the gender mentality that they were born with physically. 

The next line brings in homosexuals. Yes,  there are many shades of each and combinations that can get rather complicated and confusing, but it's not for any of us to decipher. 

They all need defenders because there are so many bigots out there, some of whom go further than hurtful words. 

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Google gender choice please

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28 minutes ago, Amerigo said:

I know it's hard to follow at this point. 

I'm trying to incorporate the rights of transgenders, cross dressers, homosexuals, bisexuals, etc to all be able to live and love in peace. 

This means, people aren't always the gender mentality that they were born with physically. 

The next line brings in homosexuals. Yes,  there are many shades of each and combinations that can get rather complicated and confusing, but it's not for any of us to decipher. 

They all need defenders because there are so many bigots out there, some of whom go further than hurtful words. 

I'm not clear what it is you're trying to say with that line.  So it's your way or the highway?  If it's not for any of us to question or decipher then why write about this and even post it?  Who are you to educate any of us?  You don't  know me or anyone else who is reading this nor do I know you. 

 

Keep working at it. 

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I'm sorry to be so confusing... 

I'm saying that if Charlie (a man) wants to be a woman and is into women, it's none of anybody else's business. It's also only Charlie's business if she considers herself a lesbian or something else. 

The point of the song (definitely needs work) is to say that everyone should feel safe and secure in being who they are and with their life style choices. 

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Amerigo,

          I don’t think you’re on the same page as the LGBT community with what you interpret as positive terms and comments. Is gay a lifestyle, for example?  I know you mean well. 

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Clearly, I'm not qualified to write a song about this topic. I've never heard a song about this topic and I'm trying to think outside of the box to write songs about subjects that have otherwise gone unsung (as far as I know of). 

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So, I rewrote this from a personal pov. I hope it's better. 

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Amerigo,

 

The message I drew from your first lyric was Live and Let Live, which is great.  With the suggestions of others here, and your own personal POV, I think you're making this even better.

 

In V1 and V2, you talk about a person's color, sexual orientation, gender identity and your acceptance of who they are or want to be.

 

In V3, you take that somewhere else, and I wonder if you really mean you would embrace/respect/condone someone who believed in something hateful or dangerous or threatening to others.  Maybe so, maybe not.  But depending on what you mean, you may want to take another look at V3.

 

Patty

 

22 hours ago, Amerigo said:

I don't care what you believe in

Nor to what God you may cleave

Whatever your mind may conceive

I'll respect your faith and convictions

I'll never lay on any restrictions

I'm just here to be there for you.

Patty

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V3 was an afterthought after posting a two verse revision. Just trying to include everyone, but then there is so many areas of differences... I also totally missed political views. 

I certainly don't condone bad stuff like terrorism, but I respect the Islamic/Muslim faith for example. 

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Possible bridge? 

 

[Bridge]

You're welcome to my world and my nation

Welcome to my life, welcome to my habitation

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How's this for an alternate verse, bridge, coda, or intro? 

 

Any shade of brown or white

Straight, gay, or transvestite

Not concerned with your politics

Nor your spiritual dogmas

All are equal in my sight

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The newer version is an improvement over the original in my thoughts.   Newer version is also basically simple which is good too but still sounds a little preachy but not a problem.   Reminds me a little  of 'Born This Way' by Lady Gaga since you're now encompassing religion as well as sexual orientation and the alien Gray race from outer space. 

 

It doesn't matter what others say

You can be black, white, or alien gray

You may be straight, bi, or gay

Male, female, neither or both   Showed this line to a family member and she rolled her eyeballs and smirked at me for pointing it out , but I have to, yet  I don't want to look like a nit picking asshole BUT!!!!!!  Can any human be neither? 

How about............  Male, female, other or both ..... neuter?  ;)

I swear to you this solemn oath

I will except you and be your friend

 

[Ch]

Everybody live in peace, love in peace

Let the real you shine through

Everybody live in peace, love in peace

To thine own self be true

Love in peace, love in peace, love in peace

 

[V2]

You've no need to hide or pretend

Even if I can't comprehend

Still I will love and defend

I don't really need to understand

Just to be ready to lend a hand

And to take you as you really are

 

[Bridge]

You're welcome to my world and my nation   Yes, build a new bridge.   Lose the nation and habitation. 

Welcome to my life, welcome to my habitation

 

[Repeat Ch] 

 

[V3]

I don't care what you believe in

Nor to what God you may cleave

Whatever your mind may conceive

I'll respect your faith and convictions

I'll never lay on any restrictions

I'm just here to be there for you.

 

Definitely an improvement over the original.  

 

 

Bridge idea should expand off of the original theme in some new way.  

 

 

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Yeah, I have never grasped the bridge concept. Every attempt is wrong. Either it says what the verses or chorus say or too far off. 

 

Any suggestions? 

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Let me think on it for a while. This is yours. I don't want to influence what you're trying to say. But, yeah let me think of some ideas or directions that you could positively take this.

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On 1/14/2018 at 00:43, Amerigo said:

Clearly, I'm not qualified to write a song about this topic. I've never heard a song about this topic and I'm trying to think outside of the box to write songs about subjects that have otherwise gone unsung (as far as I know of). 

hi amerigo,

 

i wrote a song about this topics. Please check the link below. My PC has some kinda explicit content. I might cancel that part later :P 

I only try to cover the homosexual (the mental state/difference of mind) POV. Try to put some logics/supports over there. You also added color of races, physical difference, etc greatly. Mostly your own POV/support.

 

One line that you could reconsider - 

I don't really need to understand - No need to be pretend you don't! We all must need to feel their pain. 

 

Don't be hesitate. Keep it up in passionate way. People will love it. 

 

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I see now what you're saying... 

What I meant is that it's not important that I understand why a person is what/who they are. Some people tend to want to dig out the facts that a person may not want to share yet. That can come off as harassing. 

You're absolutely correct that we need to emphasize with any pain, thus the defender part. 

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Perhaps something like this would be better... 

 

[V3]

You've no need to hide or pretend

Even if I can't comprehend

Still I will love and defend

If you feel like sharing your pain

You can tell honestly, no need to refrain

Or

You can open the dam and flood my brain

And to take you as you really are

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On 1/12/2018 at 19:30, Amerigo said:

Love In Peace

 

New version:

 

[V1]

It doesn't matter what others say

You can be black, white, or alien gray.......I'm not getting an image of alien gray.

You may be straight, bi, or gay

Male, female, neither or both........What kind of line is this?  Starting to weird me out.  What is a neither?

I swear to you this solemn oath

I will except you and be your friend............It should be "accept" and not except.  I really don't think you need the above 2 lines. 

 

[Ch]

Everybody live in peace, love in peace.........I was under the impression that this song was about you and your friend not everybody.

Let the real you shine through

Everybody live in peace, love in peace

To thine own self be true,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,This sounds like a sermon.

Love in peace, love in peace, love in peace

 

[V2]

You've no need to hide or pretend

Even if I can't comprehend

Still I will love and defend

I don't really need to understand

Just to be ready to lend a hand

And to take you as you really are.............I think this v is just some lines thrown together to make rhymes.  

 

[Bridge]

You're welcome to my world and my nation

Welcome to my life, welcome to my habitation...........Not too fond of this br.

 

[Repeat Ch] 

 

[V3]

I don't care what you believe in

Nor to what God you may cleave

Whatever your mind may conceive

I'll respect your faith and convictions

I'll never lay on any restrictions

I'm just here to be there for you.  ............This sounds like a departure from your original v theme. 

 

[Repeat Ch]

 

Original:

[V1]

You often hear someone say

Boys will be boys and girls will be girls

But sometimes it's the other way

And sometimes they're gay and that's okay.  

 

[V2]

We don't wanna hear no snide reference

About somebody else's gender choice

Or about their love preference.

Let's show tolerance with all due deference.

 

[Ch]

Everybody live in peace, love in peace

Let the real you shine through

Everybody live in peace, love in peace

To thine own self be true

Love in peace, love in peace, love in peace

 

[V3]

You don't need to be a pretender

Love whoever you want to love

Don't be afraid to show your true gender

Be who you are, and I'll be your defender

 

Certainly an effort to make a social statement but I don't think you stayed on message.  Your ch is too generic and your latter v's do not extend the message of v1. The br was totally misused  

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20 hours ago, Barneyboy said:

I'm not getting an image of alien gray.

This is supposed to be humorous, and mean that I'm willing to accept anyone regardless of race or where the came from or whether or not they're "legal". 

 

20 hours ago, Barneyboy said:

What is a neither?

A young person (born male and not physically altered) told me that he didn't identify with either gender. I am changing it to "other". 

Here again, I'm trying to incorporate everyone. 

21 hours ago, Barneyboy said:

I was under the impression that this song was about you and your friend not everybody.

This is about and addressed to everyone, thus the various types of people mentioned. 

 

This is in its early stages. The bridge in all my songs need work, once I figure out how I'm going wrong. 

alien (1).jpg

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While Barney's comments are good I do like what you've now got but question whether in this case a bridge is necessary at all.  Not sure you need one.

 

Love your picture (above) by the way. Heehee

Edited by spanishbuddha

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Me neither. 

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