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January 2018 Song Contest

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Welcome to the January Song Contest – an open format contest.

 

For any newcomers, open format means the entry can be at any production level - from just you and your guitar to a fully orchestrated masterpiece :)

 

TO ENTER: You must post your song in this thread.

 

The timeline is as follows:

• Entries will be accepted now through Midnight Eastern Standard Time (EST) Wednesday, Jan 31st, 2018.

• Voting (scorecards) will take place Thurs. Feb. 1st through Midnight EST Sunday Feb 11th, 2018.

• Don’t start voting until I officially post the scoring instructions on Thurs. Feb. 1st

• You must score all other entries or your entry will be disqualified from the contest.

• I'll post the results shortly after scoring is completed.

 

If you plan to enter, please review the revised rules, pinned in this forum.

 

When posting your song to the Songs Feedback Forum, please include:

•song title

•writer credits (If it’s a collab with another Muser please make that clear by including their M/M id)

•audio link

 

Please include the lyrics on your post. Videos are permitted. (Voters are encouraged to refrain from watching any video until after they've scored the song.) All Musers are welcome to submit songs as contestants or score the songs as non-contestants. Any questions or problems should be sent to me (paulcanuck) via private message (PM).

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Velvet Dream

 

All music/lyrics Steve Ison

 

 

All american endless street
The 4th of July
See the people dance in the heat
as you go by
in the blink of an eye

The strangeness of everyone
Out here at the show
All smiling and then they're gone
but you'll never know
whats happening below
as they come & go
Yeh yeh yeh yeh

With the tourists behind you
& your home light to guide you
Now you gotta free that velvet dream
& do it, do it, do it, do it

With the winter nights fading
& the summertime waking
You just wanna be where love could be
& do it, do it, do it, do it


See the dust that blows
the news from yesterday
All the stores are closed
& the people've gone away

Feel the sun that burns
the distance in your eyes
It's good to be alone
there's freedom in the skies

Oh my precious girl
I loved you like a child
Along these empty streets
all my feelings running wild

Won't you dance with me ?
I'll be your valentine
& this can be our home
A dream that's yours & mine..

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Hey folks, here's a song based on awful things I saw in the news last year. It's told from the vantage point of the bad guy, who, as a metaphor for humanity, (I hope) starts to have a change of heart and (eventually) asks "What good will I do today?"

 

"Good"

 

Verse 1:

I’m not tryin’ 
to be self righteous.
I just can’t help it.
I was born that way.

 

Verse 2:

Gonna grease my treads 
with your hot-dog cart! 
And ice the cake
with my apathy.

 

Pre-Chorus (or maybe a chorus??):

I only give blood to put it on Facebook!
even if I’m keeping it for myself.
Maybe I need a revolution!
Just to get my conscience off the shelf...

 

Chorus (1&2):

What good will I do today?
Can I change the atmosphere of the world in a better way? 
Hey! Hey!

 

Verse 3:

Gonna watch a man drown.
It’s gonna go viral.
Put an epitaph down
with a poignant ... LOL

 

Verse 4:

Got a snake in a can.
Watch out he bite!
Pretty sure this ain’t legal.
Pretty sure this ain’t right.

 

Bridge:
Why can’t we have more Passion Compassion? (repeat several ~3x)

 

Chorus (3):

What good will I do today?
I won’t sit like an emperor on the throne of yesterday . 
Hey! Hey!

 

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Song Title:  I Am Broken

Lyrics/Melody:  Eric Borgos
Vocals/Music:  Chris Davidson

Verse 1:
Sometimes hearts
are not made to last
all alone in a universe
so endlessly vast

I feed on your energy
you feed on mine
trapped in a house of glass
built under a shrine

Chorus:
Time, it can't erase
all the words
our lips have spoken
I'm lost
I'm dark
I am broken

I'm lost
I'm dark
I am broken

 

I'm lost
I'm dark
I am broken

Verse 2:
Sometimes I cry
but don't feel the pain
no signs of life
on such barren terrain

What takes me higher
is what brings me down
I still feel your touch
when you're not around

Chorus:
Love, takes one last breath
as it shatters
in slow motion
I'm lost
I'm dark
I am broken

I'm lost
I'm dark
I am broken

Outro:
I'm lost
I'm dark
and I'm broken

I'm lost
I'm dark
and I'm broken

I'm lost
I'm dark
and I am broken

 

I'm lost
I'm dark
and I'm broken

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Song Title - "The Usual Suspects"

All rights - Tom Hoffman

*Photo is a live-link...click on it to open the mp3

 

5a57bcb9efce0_Breakingup.thumb.jpg.fd339c228214603f87a725922d9297d2.jpg

 

 

"The Usual Suspects"

 

Verse

Here we sit, just you and I, about to break it off

Knowin’ that the love we felt is gone

Thinkin’ back I can’t believe we let it fade away

Fade away like darkness into dawn

 

Chorus

Was it you, was it me…Was it never meant to be?

Did we change, grow apart,Lose the love once in our heart?

Did we try hard enough?

Was the challenge just too tough?

In the closing hours, these are…the usual suspects

 

Verse

Life was good & love was fresh many years ago

I assumed we’d always feel that way

Days turned into years before I ever realized

That our life together’d gone astray

 

Bridge

Can’t you see I’d rather not end us this way?

But we can’t go one more day

Without askin’ why…we pretend & lie

Hopin’ that we’ll never have to say

 

Chorus / Ending

Was it you, was it me…Was it never meant to be?

Did we change, grow apart,Lose the love once in our heart?

Did we try hard enough?

Was the challenge just too tough?

In the closing hours, these are…the usual suspects

These are the usual suspects

These are the usual suspects

 

Copyright 2004 - Tom Hoffman

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Song: Tables Turn

Music/lyrics: Dan James

Audio link: 

 

 

 

 

I think about that night we spoke,
the lies you told,
the vows you broke, 
and I miss you even less than before.

 

I think about the acid tears,
the broken hearts,
the wasted years,
and I miss you even less than before.

 

Don't want to talk,
but soon you'll know just how I feel.

Tables turn on you now,
these things workout somehow,
tables turn on you.

 

I think about the old routines,
the future lost,
the shattered dreams,
and I miss you even less than before.

 

I think about when we still cared,
the fun we had,
the love we shared,
and I miss you, yeah I miss you.

 

Don't want to talk,
but soon you'll know just how I feel.

Tables turn on you now,
these things workout somehow,
tables turn on you.

 

 

 

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Fade

Music & Lyrics: Jambrains

 

FADE

She said, get us out of here
The fireworks have started
and I can't stand another year
let's burn all of the bridges
that connect us to the past 
so it won't come back to haunt us
until, at last
we slowly fade
to gray
We slowly fade to gray
To gray

 

Wipers working hard to clear the rain
it's pouring down, as if it's trying
to wash away the pain
Driving through my childhood haunts
I've raced these dirty streets
I’ve had some victories
but more defeats 
and slowly, I faded
to gray
I faded to gray 
To gray

 

Make a right turn, she said
People here don't know it
but they are all dead
They can not fight this fight
if they fear to lose
So they convince themselves
This life is what they choose
and slowly, they all fade
to gray
They all fade to gray
To gray

 

Their dreams
were sold to them 
on the glossy pages 
of mulit-color 
lifestyle magazines
But our dreams
lie beyond the city's border
where life is unpredictable
and cannot be foreseen

 

We've should have known it was to late
pulled over by the state patrol
A broken taillight sealed our fate
We turned the car around 
and headed back from where we came
and before we even knew it 
we were trapped
and slowly we faded 
to gray
We faded to gray
To gray

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Hello to all,  this song is the result of ideas and inspiration from several different sources.  Peko was instrumental in helping me with the lyrics.  

Thanks for the listen. Good luck everyone!

 

 

 

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My 10 year Wedding Anniversary is coming this year this so all my entries leading up to the date will be songs about my rock, my best friend, my muse. :)

 

Can't wait to hear everyone's tunes!!!!  Good Luck!

 

4exo27 (Forever as you are)
 
Verse 1
 
From a window sill
Watching the world go by
And as you always are
Right there by my side
Bridge
I spent our time praying to a god,
But why
When He was sat right here beside me all along
While I looked up in the sky
 
Chorus
 
Always as you are (Always as you are)
Forever as you are (Forever as you are)
I found my god in your eyes
Ah Ah
 
Middle 8 Musical Interlude
 
Verse 2
 
Pushing back on life
When It don't treat me right
And you're never far
When I've run out of fight
 
Bridge 2
 
When I dragged my tail home like a beat up dog
Nursing his wounds
And here you waited with the patience of a saint
While I barked at the moon
 
Chorus 2
 
Always as you are (Always as you are)
Forever as you are (Forever as you are)
I found my god in your eyes
 
Chorus 3
 
Always as you are (Always as you are)
Forever as you are (Forever as you are)
I found my god in your eyes    
Ah Ah
 
Outro
 
My god in your eyes
Ah Ah
My god in your eyes
Ah Ah

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I pretty much freestyled the song I don't write lyrics I feel like my mind thinks too fast so I just have ALOT of takes and here is the product so some things might not make sense but here it is . I WROTE THIS SONG FOR A CRUSH BUT I DONT THINK SHE KNOWS I EXIST I JUST GAVE ALL I WAS FEELING </3

(hook)

  Okay I Woke up at 4 in the morning thinkin bout the days when I had nothing to prove I miss them too (2x)

 

 (Verse) 

You know I see the 45 on your hip you know , take it outside and lets dance some more moooore mooooore

you know I feel it outside I cannot lie ive been losing sleep over you oh myyyy oh looooove

take the fire lose your sleep , I can see your miles of leap , I don't want to be here alone      (miles of leap as in sheep when your Zzz)

ive been losing my own sleep

do I want ? But that the dream ohhh ohhhh

(hook)

Okay I Woke up at 4 in the morning thinkin bout the days when I had nothing to prove I miss them too (2x)

(outro)

she said lets listen to Fraaaank (2x)  (frank ocean)

she said shes less entertained , ohh damn

She had a 4our5ive I was just tongue tied she shot me down she show me down            (.45 being a gun) ( I listen to a lot of rap)

that girl is dangerous don't ever play with her heart

 

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Not my favorite song I done so far... but I think my production is getting better :) heh.  Anyway....

 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Wicvut0HKYEM-pAPe3PSEBTgh6DTa1m7/view?usp=sharing

 

Gone Away

 

what i've seen, who i know, where i've been
a step beyond the law always closing in
but now i'm stuck here in this cage alone
losing hope that i will ever find a home
 
reliving dreams of yesterday
but now they're gone away, gone way
here to stay, i'm here to stay
 
who i met, what i took, where i've flown
a fortune massed while i was scheming on my own
but now i fester in the dark as i repay
falling sick and thinner each and every day
 
reliving dreams of yesterday
but now they're gone away, gone way
here to stay, i'm here to stay
 
caught up in the world i built and driven by the greed
watching my own back with agents chasing after me
drifting out of view
faking my way through
all the while wondering if the end is coming soon
 
gone away 
 
reliving dreams of yesterday
but now they're gone away, gone way
here to stay, i'm here to stay

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Quick question...we ARE supposed to wait for the list of song titles to be posted before PMing our votes to Paul, right?

Since this was my first time entering, figured it wouldn't hurt to make sure. ;)

Thanks!

 

Tom

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2 hours ago, tunesmithth said:

Quick question...we ARE supposed to wait for the list of song titles to be posted before PMing our votes to Paul, right?

Since this was my first time entering, figured it wouldn't hurt to make sure. ;)

Thanks!

 

Tom

Hi Tom

 

Yep voting starts tomorrow - please wait for voting instructions in this thread :)

 

Paul

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Time to score! This month we are going to try a new method for scoring so please read the scoring rules carefully :)

 

How to score: 

 

Score each song this way:

 

10 - This is the best song I have ever heard in my entire life

2...9 - Somewhere in between...

1 - This song needs a complete overhaul IMHO

 

Also this month we are asking each scorer to provide additional scores for Lyrics and Music. These (optional) scores will not be used to rank the results and you do not have to provide them if you don't want to. The overall score you give the song does not have to relate to the lyrics/music scores.

 

So the list you PM to me should look like this:

 

8 - Song Title 1 Lyrics: 5 Music: 7

5 - Song Title 2 Lyrics: 3 Music: 9

8.5 - Song Title 3 Lyrics:  Music: 4

 

Here is the list of entries (did you read the new scoring instructions? :-):

 

Velvet Dream - ScenesFromPalacio
Good - RoadDog
I Am Broken - Eric Borgos
The Usual Suspects - tunesmithth
Tables Turn - DanJames
Fade - Jambrains
Ashes of Her Bridges - moptop
Mountain - SOD
Because You Are - HoboSage
4exo27 (Forever as you are) - ClintLeonard
4our 5ive - Boy frevm
Gone Away - Triffid

 

Questions? PM me!

Good luck everyone.

 

 

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Quote

• Voting (scorecards) will take place Thurs. Feb. 1st through Midnight EST Sunday Feb 11th, 2018.

 

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The scores have been tabulated (by an infinite number of monkeys typing on an infinite number of typewriters) and we have the following results.

 

FIRST PLACE: Gone Away - Triffid

SECOND PLACE: Because You Are - HoboSage

THIRD PLACE: Fade - Jambrains

 

Congratulations to our winners and all who participated. Special thanks to our non-contestant scorers: peko, murphster, GaryHale, and Ironknee  

 

                                  Total
Gone Away   Triffid 7.0 7.0 9.0 7.0 3.0 8.0 7.0 8.0 5.0 7.0 5.0 7.0 8.5 6.5 8.5 103.5
Because You Are   HoboSage 8.0 8.0 8.0 8.0 3.0 8.0 5.0 7.9 8.0 7.0 6.0 6.5 7.5 5.5 7.0 103.4
Fade   Jambrains 9.0 6.0 7.0 7.5 6.0 5.0 6.5 8.8 7.0 5.0 7.0 7.5 7.5 6.5 6.5 102.8
Velvet Dream   ScenesFromPalacio 6.0 5.0 7.0 7.0 6.0 6.0 4.0 8.6 7.0 6.5 6.5 8.5 7.0 7.0 8.0 100.1
Tables Turn   DanJames 9.0 6.5 8.0 8.0 6.0 7.0 4.0 5.8 5.0 8.0 6.0 5.5 7.5 5.5 6.0 97.8
I Am Broken   Eric Borgos 8.0 7.5 5.0 6.0 6.0 4.0 5.5 5.2 4.0 6.0 6.5 6.0 6.5 8.0 8.0 92.2
4exo27 (Forever as you are)   ClintLeonard 7.0 6.5 6.0 7.0 3.0 5.0 7.5 4.0 5.0 8.0 7.0 8.5 7.0 5.5 5.0 92.0
Ashes of Her Bridges   moptop 5.0 8.0 5.0 5.0 8.5 5.0 3.5 8.5 7.0 5.5 5.5 6.0 5.5 5.0 7.0 90.0
The Usual Suspects   tunesmithth  5.0 7.0 6.0 6.5 5.0 5.0 4.5 6.1 5.0 5.0 4.0 5.0 5.5 5.5 6.0 81.1
4our 5ive   Boy frevm 4.0 8.0 6.0 6.0 2.0 4.0 3.0 4.9 4.0 6.5 4.0 5.5 8.0 5.5 8.0 79.4
Good   RoadDog 4.0 8.0 1.0 5.0 6.0 4.0 5.0 5.0 5.0 6.0 3.5 6.0 5.0 6.0 5.5 75.0
Mountain   SOD 3.0 7.0 6.0 7.0 1.0 4.0 3.0 5.0 5.0 4.0 6.0 5.0 7.5 5.5 5.0 74.0

 

 

 

Lyrics Scores
                    Total
Tables Turn   DanJames   7 8 8 8 8 4 8 6 57
Fade   Jambrains   6 7 7 7 6 6 6 7 52
I Am Broken   Eric Borgos   7 5 6 6 7 6.5 6 7.5 51
4exo27 (Forever as you are)   ClintLeonard   7 6 6 4 7 6 6 5 47
Gone Away   Triffid   4 6 8 3 7 5 7 7 47
Velvet Dream   ScenesFromPalacio 5 4 5 4 8 6 6 7.5 46
The Usual Suspects   tunesmithth    6 7 5 6 7 4 4 6 45
Ashes of Her Bridges   moptop   8 5 5 6 4 5 4 7 44
Mountain   SOD   7 7 5 4 4 5.5 6 5 44
Because You Are   HoboSage   7 4 6 2 6 5 7 5.5 43
Good   RoadDog   8 5 4 4 6 2 5 6 40
4our 5ive   Boy frevm   7 4 5 1 4 1 8 7.5 38

 

 

 

Music Scores                     Total
Because You Are   HoboSage   8 9 8 3 8 7.5 8.5 8.5 61
Tables Turn   DanJames   6 8 8 5 8 7.5 5 7.5 55
Gone Away   Triffid   7 9 7 3 7 5 8 9 55
Fade   Jambrains   6 7 8 5 4 7.5 9 7.5 54
Ashes of Her Bridges   moptop   8 5 5 9 7 5.5 6 8 54
4our 5ive   Boy frevm   8 7 5 2 9 6.5 8 7 53
4exo27 (Forever as you are)   ClintLeonard   6 6 8 3 8 8 8 5 52
Velvet Dream   ScenesFromPalacio 5 6 6 5 5 7 8 8 50
I Am Broken   Eric Borgos   8 5 6 3 5 6.5 7 8.5 49
Mountain   SOD   7 6 6 4 4 6 9 7 49
The Usual Suspects   tunesmithth    7 5 6.5 3 4 4 6 6.5 42
Good   RoadDog   8 4 4 3 6 5 5 6 41

 

 

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Here are my comments for each song:

Velvet Dream - ScenesFromPalacio - I am a little unclear as to the meaning of the lyrics, but they paint a nice picture, and the music is good.
Good - RoadDog - The song is good.
The Usual Suspects - tunesmithth - The lyrics, singing, and guitar are all great. And I like the harmonica. Something about the song seems plain/empty to me, like maybe it could use another instrument in some parts.
Tables Turn - DanJames - Very catchy. I like everything about it.
Fade - Jambrains - I like how the song progresses from few instruments to many then back to piano. It keeps it interesting.
Ashes of Her Bridges - moptop - You might want to try slowing the song down (you should be able to easily adjust the speed in your audio program without having to re-record the song). The music is sad/romantic ballad, but when you sing it you are trying to pack a lot of word in each line, which makes it less emotional.
Mountain - SOD - Your voice is very nice, but the vocals get somewhat boring, I think because of your live mix. It is more focused on the guitar than your voice, so your vocals are in the background. The lyrics are good.
Because You Are - HoboSage - It is romantic, and the music is atmospheric and catchy. The chorus is memorable and soars.
4exo27 (Forever as you are) - ClintLeonard - It started off a little slow so I was hoping it would lead into a big chorus. The chorus was nice, but not exciting, although the 2nd half of the song moved along very well. It is romantic, which is what you were going for. Sounds a little like Oasis.
4our 5ive - Boy frevm - The beat is catchy, and your singing is somewhat hypnotic and calming. If I had not read the lyrics I would have no idea what the song is about though.
Gone Away - Triffid - The rhymes seem a little cliche, but your singing it nice and the music is professional and catchy. If I heard this song on the radio, like after a Philip Philips song, I would think it was from a "real" singer (signed with a record label).

 

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Congratulations to the winners.

Great contest everyone!

 Thank you to all for sharing your talents with us.

 

Dominick

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Hey guys, congrats all around but especially to Triffid, Hobosage, and Jambrains!!!! 

Here are my comments:

 

Velvet Dream:  

So obviously the most striking thing is the 1st and 2nd half of the songs. It’s almost like to songs.  Im not sure if this works or not in my head.  The unique melody and the harmonies are great.  The drone in between the 1st and 2nd half remind me of early Floyd.

 

I Am Broken: 

Oh the opening bell tones make me think of ACDC’s Hells Bells!  I love the darkness in this one!  Not sure about the rapid percussion that comes in here and there.

 

The Usual Suspects: 

Great, clear, but familiar acoustic.  I was looking for more depth in the lyrics - but I really like the line about “darkness into dawn”  Nice touch with the harmonica and the minor refrain.

 

Tables Turn:  

I dig the almost bagpipe sounding music and the Greenday/Beatles/Suzanne Vega vibe - the my favorite line is “I miss you even less than before.”

 

Fade: 

Nice piano introduction.  Boy the acoustic that accompanies the refrain at ~39 sec is awesome.  Not sure I dig the melody of the line “fade to grey” People don’t know it but they are all dead, that’s fantastic!  Of course I love the guitar solo!

 

Ashes of Her Bridges: 

Great mix of synth/strings and piano in the intro. The melody is just a tad bit too familiar to mean I can’t place it.  But the constant partnering of the piano works so well, and familiar or not, it’s catchy.

 

Mountain:  

The acoustic work is awesome here. Almost celtic or something. Is it in an open tuning.  Not sure the entire melody agrees withy ears but I really like the long-held notes.

 

Because You Are:  

Interesting to contrast to the heavy-sounding opening chord with the almost jazz/brush beat - before the song kicks in.

 

Forever As You Are: 

The music is wonderfully complex.  It provides an interesting contrast to the simplicity of the lyrics.  I did get the feeling that song would go further in some way.  But the treatment with the almost falsetto bits of the vocals works so well along with subtle echoes.

 

4our5ive:  

So very very intriguing is this one!  The music and the vocals really stand out for me albeit with the latter a little hard to discern at points.   The simple guitar is great and reminds me of the dude playing Bowie tunes in the movie The Life Aquatic

 

Gone Away: 

The acoustic intro grabbed me right away. The vocal delivery is well done and matches the upbeat mood of the whole thing.  I love the little bit of stop time before the chorus.  The build to the chorus is great too.  Man the acoustic work is so nice on this one.

 

I hope I got everyone there!  Fun stuff!

 

 

 

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Huge congrats Triffid, another great song this month. I will be honest and say it wasn't my top score for this comp (In fact I scored you 3rd) but that's only because there was some really interesting songs and arrangements this month that l I liked.

 

I score the song and the song only, as I feel that is what we should be doing here and while it is extremely hard to do, I try to ignore the performance.

 

But what I will say that performance wise you win hands down, and not for the first time. Your voice is excellent and you seem to be clever about writing for your voice as well. Great work, congrats again.

 

Clint and DanJames got my top score, both excellent songs. I enjoyed them a lot. 

 

The stand out for me however was 4our 5ive, Boy Frevm. I mean you didn't get my top score, you are probably in around 6th place for my scoring. But your did get my highest marks for Music. 

 

I will say when it came to listen to yours and you started by saying that you "don't write lyrics" and that you just "freestyle" I very nearly just skipped the track altogether. It didn't really make me want to listen.

 

And you know what? Your lyrics aren't really that good here, not for this old fart anyway. But the music, the arrangement, the feel and vibe was pretty awesome. I really liked listening to it. There is clearly some talent there, and you can make a good song. To be honest were there a better structure here and more meaningful lyrics (or at least, to be fair, more accessible lyrics) then I think you could have won this. 

 

Just my own view, rightly or wrongly. Well done though.

 

Well down everyone, a great start to the year. I am glad I kept my powder dry last month and hopefully will have something worth pitching against Triffid this month! ;-)

 

Cheers 

 

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Hi everyone - just wanted to point out that the highlighted (in yellow) scores of "5" were put in by myself - these were either not scored, or were the scorer's own lyric/music. I'm not sure if they skew the results - maybe they should be an "average" instead of "5". Would be interested if the lyric/music scoring is helpful or not - it's a bit more work for everyone so we needn't bother if it is not useful.

 

This thread is weird in my browser - I keep getting a pop-up saying there are 22 new replies but there aren't :) Does this happen to anyone else?

 

Paul

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1 hour ago, PaulCanuck said:

Hi everyone - just wanted to point out that the highlighted (in yellow) scores of "5" were put in by myself - these were either not scored, or were the scorer's own lyric/music. I'm not sure if they skew the results - maybe they should be an "average" instead of "5". Would be interested if the lyric/music scoring is helpful or not - it's a bit more work for everyone so we needn't bother if it is not useful.

 

This thread is weird in my browser - I keep getting a pop-up saying there are 22 new replies but there aren't :) Does this happen to anyone else?

 

Paul

Yeah. I’m getting a pop up saying there are 27 new replies.

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Wow! I'm very surprised.  :o Thank you!  There are some really good songs this month, I truly enjoyed listening to them all.  The 3 that stood out most to me are:

 

Fade, Jambrains - Great feel & vocals and I'm a sucker for acoustic guitar + piano.

 

4exo27 (Forever As You Are), ClintLeonard - Wow!, the music is top notch.  I could easily enjoy that as just an instrumental with maybe a lead violin.

 

I Am Broken, Eric Borgos - I really like the straight forward and honest approach to this song.  I'd love to hear what a building "in your face" type guitar solo coming it at 3:11 for the remainder of the song would sound like.  

 

Thanks again, all

  

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This thread is weird in my browser - I keep getting a pop-up saying there are 22 new replies but there aren't :) Does this happen to anyone else?

Yep...both yesterday & today. Yesterday via IE at work & today Edge.

 

Tom

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Worthy winners, and great songs all round. Thanks Paul for organising.

 

Re the new lyric/music scores, I like the system but was slightly puzzled as to how I got top score for lyrics, 2nd top score for music and 5th place overall! Maybe the Production Police cast the deciding votes... Not to worry, being one of Murphster's favourites was good enough for me!

 

The top song for me was ScenesFromPalacio's track. A joy to listen to.

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Paul, 
Yes, I am getting that pop-up message, too.  32 replies, it says.

 

You asked about the 3 ways of scoring, Song, Music and Lyrics.  I liked it and although I'm not a musician, I thought it might be helpful to musicians to see how others rated the music only, and the lyrics only, and how that can affect how you feel about the overall song. I write lyrics, so of course, I think they're important, but I think Music is MORE important.  But if your song does not score as high as you'd hoped, and you see a low mark for lyrics, you might pay more attention to what words you put with your music next time in order to get a higher score.  I don't know. It does take longer to vote that way.

 

As to DanJames' comment above, the song is the combination of everything.  Maybe there is good music and good lyrics, but they don't fit together, which brings the song down.  At least that's my take on it.  The goal should be to have all 3 working together to carry the song over the top.

 

Nice job, everyone.

 

Patty

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I like the system but was slightly puzzled as to how I got top score for lyrics, 2nd top score for music and 5th place overall! Maybe the Production Police cast the deciding votes.

Simple enough...not everyone who voted submitted those optional lyric/music scores, so your 2nd & 5th place finishes provide only a partial snapshot of the overall votes.

 

Tom

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Congrats Triffid!   OUTSTANDING song that was my number one for sure.

 

Also congrats to HoboSage and JamBrains!

 

Great group of tunes this month, as always.

 

I REALLY liked "I am Broken" and Velvet Dream to round out a STRONG TOP 3!

 

Special mention to Boy Frevm whose tune was just oozing with potential!

 

Great job and thanks to everyone for the listen, kind words and ratings....even whoever gave me a 3! :P

 

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Hey there folks......I really thought the melodic and lyrical hook of "I Am Broken" had the strongest most singular aspect in this contest.

However, many good production wise points took the show here...IMHO.

 

Triffid's song was beautifully produced; but, I thought it was a rather generic piece all around. Your song craft is stellar...you just need that subject matter, to matter ;-)

 

Hobo's song was interesting, and so beautifully produced..... but soooo irrelevant in the world of today's relevancy. The singing is hard to listen to; if only there was something to listen to.....IMHO. Whatever.

 

I liked Scenes tune...it was energetic and unpredictable; while, managing to keep us from being all together lifted off from this earth (it did seem to venture off a bit, making me feel like it was trying too hard to be unpredictable...I think that's where "Velvet Dream" went astray....IMHO).

Steve....you need to rethink your style of lyric composition.....substance matters. You could be a GREAT song maker.

 

Anyways...... always fun......hoping to have a 1+1 soon.........only way a guy like me has a chance with these production artists.

 

 

 

 

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Well done to the winners..Thanx Paul for running this n thanx Dan James - Made my day Velvet Dream was someones favourite here

 

 

My top 4 this month were

 

Roaddogs ‘cos it rocked & the mood was 70s sinister-Loved the strangeness of the “What good will I do today “bit…Just an interesting engaging track..I get a sense you’re always searching musically too- which I really like..Your tracks always score far lower here than their individual spirit n creativity deserve imo…Lofi n edgy just won’t cut it on the muse lol

 

Hobosages..It had a good intuitive flow n vibe..Felt really natural.Not a fan of the very grandiose, extremely self-serious n earnest progressive vibes you often trade in -but the last 2 have been very different to that n enjoyable for me

 

Moptops ‘cos it was natural n melodic n had a resonant melancholic spirit..Sounds dated 80s in style/sound but I don’t care about that ‘cos its good..Weird how intuitive musicality n musical inventiveness is not valued -or even discussed really at the muse, like they’re totally irrelevant things..Just endless boffin-pedantry about production details n microscopic lyrical analysis……"Utterly pedestrian, mediocre n cliche tune ? No problem sir ! Your lyrics n production are great !! :) "

 

Boyfrevn..Moody n atmospheric,showing (in the best modern way) how much you can get out of one chord progression if you’ve got inspired vocal lines..Woke up at 4 in the morning hook is great..Engaging late night smoky track

 

Woh..3 of the bottom 5 were in my top 4 !!!!!!

I think my taste in music is -more than a little- removed from the majority here 

Quote

 

I liked Scenes tune...it was energetic and unpredictable; while, managing to keep us from being all together lifted off from this earth (it did seem to venture off a bit, making me feel like it was trying too hard to be unpredictable...I think that's where "Velvet Dream" went astray....IMHO).

Steve....you need to rethink your style of lyric composition.....substance matters. You could be a GREAT song maker

 

Thanx alot -really appreciate your thoughts here n glad you enjoyed it..I definitely agree with you that "substance matters" & lyrics are not my strongest suite songwriting-wise..i'd have to say i'm working on it..I do work hard on my lyrics (believe it or not) n sometimes don't get what i want..The way i work musically tho -having every bit of vocal line/nuance worked out musically before i write the lyrics dosn't make it easy tho..Even the very best lyricists here would struggle having to make great lyrics given those constraints..Especially as flow n cadence n the right vowel sounds etc are sooooooo important to me...I'd never sacrifice any power or impact of the song musically to get a superficially better meaning..

 

Given that tho, i love the lyrics to Velvet Dream ! Even voted near bottom here for lyrics dosn't alter that belief -Musers are not my audience !! They create strong cinematic pictures to me..Dislocation from modern life,being an outsider..An inner view, feeling very distanced from those living on the surface- Even a bit dystopian..They fit the mood of the music like a glove too imo...

 

Maybe the problem for you is they're impressionistic...There seems to be an underlying orientation -given a lot of the comments here & the lyrics that generally do well in the lyric contests -of musers generally needing literal,logical easy-to-understand n digest lyrics...Its the all-pervading "country" mindset here, pouring like concrete over free-spiritedness n anything at all "different " .Tho i enjoy the best of that kinda music & like good lyric crafting n respect tradition, i intensely dislike the conservatization n utter rigidity of form -musically n lyrically- the country mindset demands - and have no desire to conform to its wishes -tho (of course) i know  it means a lack of success in these competitions haha......

 

From the way so many seem to analyse n value lyrics here, even masters of emotionally brilliant impressionistic lyric writing like Neil Young or Fleetwood Mac Stevie Nicks would probably be given short shrift as their words often demand deeper attention n can't all be neatly understood in one glance..

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3 hours ago, ScenesFromPalacio said:

Roaddogs ‘cos it rocked & the mood was 70s sinister-Loved the strangeness of the “What good will I do today “bit…Just an interesting engaging track..I get a sense you’re always searching musically too- which I really like..Your tracks always score far lower here than their individual spirit n creativity deserve imo…Lofi n edgy just won’t cut it on the muse lol

Thanks Scenes for the comments.  I must say that I am learning from my experience here.  For instance, based on a trend in comments over the years I finally made my guitar sound like a bass (to be heard at some point in the future). Keep it avant-garde!

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6 hours ago, ScenesFromPalacio said:

-tho (of course) i know  it means a lack of success in these competitions haha......

 

I haven’t took part in recent comps. But am I missing something Steve? I’ve been on this site for a long while now. I don’t know anyone who’s won more competitions than you have. 

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20 hours ago, HoboSage said:

I adopted my kids after fostering them  They began their journey through life under the ugliest of circumstances, and me telling them how special and amazing I think they are, and how much I love and adore them - like I did with this song - will never be "irrelevant" in any world to me.  They are my world.  Moreover, that you think straight-forward expressions of love through song are irrelevant in the world, just makes me feel sorry for you.  

Thought I'd take another listen.......maybe with your explanation I'd hear something in a different light. But, as usual, you pull everything off the web and away you go once you get what you are wanting. 

But, as I remember, listening to the music.....while trying to understand the words.......and listening to your performance..........the whole experience left me conflicted. 

Those are my thoughts........sorry you feel insulted. But, I've always thought you were the kind of guy who loved to critically brush it on thick. I haven't known you to pull any punches when it comes to your own brilliant insights towards any one else's songs.......so, save your pity for those who need it. 

Good production, I must say, however ;-)

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8 hours ago, Onewholovesrock said:

I haven’t took part in recent comps. But am I missing something Steve? I’ve been on this site for a long while now. I don’t know anyone who’s won more competitions than you have. 

Not in the last 2 years or so..My cache of very simple, instant pop songs has run dry haha

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19 hours ago, ScenesFromPalacio said:

Moptops ‘cos it was natural n melodic n had a resonant melancholic spirit..Sounds dated 80s in style/sound but I don’t care about that ‘cos its good.....Your lyrics n production are great !! :)

Steve,

that is quite the complement, thank you very much!!
I do understand what you mean about songs and lyrics being accepted or critiqued more on the formal, technical, and scientific aspects than on mood and feeling. Not being a professionally  trained musician I write from the head and the heart, so to speak, what sounds pleasing to the ear not from a instructive framework or formula. I Draw from my years of experience and sense of what does and doesn't sound good when I write.  I always felt that even if a song is not "technically" correct but still sounds good that should not be a reason to discount all of the other qualities of the tune. 

thank you again!

Dominick

 

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Honestly... I'm just happy with the feedback that what I'm doing isn't utter crap.  I use these contests as motivation to keep going and write/record each song that month.   I appreciate everyones feedback and will look to incorporate it into future tracks.  I've been writing for about a year and have maybe 9 songs that I'm happy with.  I will be ecstatic when I have enough for a full album that I am proud of and can share with my friends and family.   The songs may be "simple"... but that is where my taste is right now.  I'm sure I'll get bored of major tones and basic song structure and look to expand eventually.

 

Ironknee... I think your comment is on point, actually.  I started writing songs with the hope of having something meaningful and maybe even inspirational to give my sons.  This song is just about a character in a book I read recently, heh.  I should get back to that.  

 

Thanks again, all.

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7 hours ago, Triffid said:

Honestly... I'm just happy with the feedback that what I'm doing isn't utter crap.  I use these contests as motivation to keep going and write/record each song that month.   I appreciate everyones feedback and will look to incorporate it into future tracks.  I've been writing for about a year and have maybe 9 songs that I'm happy with.  I will be ecstatic when I have enough for a full album that I am proud of and can share with my friends and family.   The songs may be "simple"... but that is where my taste is right now.  I'm sure I'll get bored of major tones and basic song structure and look to expand eventually.

 

Ironknee... I think your comment is on point, actually.  I started writing songs with the hope of having something meaningful and maybe even inspirational to give my sons.  This song is just about a character in a book I read recently, heh.  I should get back to that.  

 

Thanks again, all.

Glad you didn't take offense.......I've been writing songs since I was 15.....I'm still trying to write something that matters.....

....I hope I live long enough ;-)

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On 2/15/2018 at 22:09, Ironknee said:

-)

Anyways...... always fun......hoping to have a 1+1 soon.........only way a guy like me has a chance with these production artists.

Tom, we have a 1+1 under way now. If any or all of you could work up entries, that would be wonderful.

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1 hour ago, Joan said:

Tom, we have a 1+1 under way now. If any or all of you could work up entries, that would be wonderful.

I have the song written.....just have to record.........mu daughter borrowed my head-sets (the ones I use for recording), and she now claims that she can't find them. So now, I'm in a bit of a tirade (well...tirade isn't the best word to use, but I have to now get a new pair).

I'm on it ;-)

                               -T

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