Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
cindyrella

I Want to Make You Mine

Recommended Posts

I am finished with 50/90 (I finally got over 50 complete songs :)) so I wanted to share of few songs and lyrics I wrote this lyric, and Sam Davis the music and vocals.

 

 

http://fiftyninety.fawmers.org/song/21503

 

I Want to Make You Mine
© 2017 Cindy Prince

 

The sunset red of your hair
That reaches to your waist
Your enchanting smile captures me
And your lightly freckled face

 

Your sweet modelic voice
And the innocence in your eyes
Pulls me in time and again
I am always mesmerized

 

Chorus
No one needs to tell me
That you are one of a kind
No one needs to coax me
Because I want to make you mine
Oh lass, I want to make you mine

 

I have dreams of you in the meadow
Then you turn to see me there
Your arms are full of flowers
There's a ribbon in your hair

 

You run to me with pure joy
You kiss me so tenderly
If only my dreams will come to pass
And you will marry me

 

Repeat chorus

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Very nice song Cindy.

Sam has a nice voice and the guitar picking is good.

Thought the lyrics were a bit common - but I guess that's what you expect in a love song :)

 

Paul

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This has such a nice feel....and so authentic. It has a sweet tenderness that is captivating. And what a fine idea.....a proposal song.

Yes the lyric is straight forward........but what's not to like in something so lovely.

I want to hear this in a far away pub with a brew in my hand.....just candlelight and a pretty freckled face sitting across from me as I disappear in my dreams of yesteryear.

Looking forward to hearing more songs.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks to you both. Yes Paul, it is hard to write about love without it all being said a million times. Thanks Joey for your kind words.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is a really nice song in here, the arrangement could be improved in order to bring it out more of you don't mind me saying.

 

I love the riff that plays throughout the song but think it is overdone. I would like to hear it saved for the intro/verses and then do something else with the chorus. It will help make the chorus stand out, and also help with the feeling that the song is repetitive.

 

There are a few places early on where the guitar doesn't quite gel with the drums, it seems to settle after the chorus but it is a little jarring and pulled me out of the song.

 

As for the actual song, I have no issues really with the lyrics, they are what they are. It is a very good song and has the potential to be better with the right arrangement.

 

Cheers

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for your comments. I think this was more or less a one take for him. He had just become a dad and not long after that, had to evacuate for hurricane Irma. I am going to talk with him about this one and two more Irish songs we did.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi C

 

   Lyrics were nice. Melody abit too boring for my taste, perhaps too long, but the recording and feel etc did what it had to do. Love the pix of the red head, Im sucker for them.lol

 

 

cheers

R-N-R Jim

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’d have to agree on the lyrics being a bit cliche’. I believe you could describe everything here with more originality. The demo recording isn’t bad. I’d say the beats are to prominent in the mix causing some distraction. I’d dial them back until they’re just a touch above audible. Thanks for sharing! JOe

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×