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Hi there,


The basic song idea has potential.  Good start.  Here is my critique:


- Production could be improved.  Drums can be mixed better - hihat is very up front, the rest is buried, also can be mixed better - it sounds like the drums are straight out the box of (e.g. more room sound, plugin on each drum part, paral comp)

- The song drags on - gets a little boring - some ideas to add more dynamics are like changing to a more distorted tone (like when you say "working all night", adding a guitar lead part ontop for the chorus (like Man In The Box intro just before the first verse for example), changing to a crash cymbal for the chorus instead of hi-hat, take of the radio effect and sing an octave higher or harmonies for the chorus (like you do at the end), adding a second guitar one octave higher at places.

- The guitar tone is not doing it for me.  I would try different tones or try EQ-ing


Please do not take this feedback too harsh - just trying to help out.

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Hey I really appreciate it! I will go mess around with your suggestions. Honestly as you could probably tell I've only been at this for a couple months so I really appreciate when someone can give me a breakdown, especially when it comes to my mixes. I'm always looking to improve so thank you!

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