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    • Alistair S

      Song of the Year   12/01/18

      The Song of the Year contests (one for open format and one for 1+1) are currently running in Song Contests. It's easy to vote - just let me know your selections by the end of Saturday 20th!
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ramadean

second post to introduce my self and talent

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Hi everyone,

This is my first post, this song is about social and environmental issues to address everything happens around us lately. Its not a 100% done yet, I will retake the vocal with a good singer if I can find one, back vocal and harmonies and also putting bass in the music. Again, everything is done at home so the quality is kind of far away from a professional work. It is just for my private collection though but still I want to improve my work with your help particularly it is difficult to blend the music and vocal. Maybe because of the microphone I use.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gV3fYqBFa4

 

 

The lyric is included in the description area.

Thank you guys.

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Hi Ramadean - if you would like feedback, maybe post this in either Songs Feedback or Video Feedback (or both)?

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I love the music and the intentions of the song! :)

 

It seems like English is your second language. Some of the lines are a little awkward in ways that a native English speaker wouldn't write it, like this line for example:

"Can you see it how pretty those colors with breeze"

The "with breeze" is the awkward part of that line of the lyrics. I'm not sure how to really give advice for this since fixing lines like this would entail becoming fluent in English or spending enough time around native English speakers to learn the intricacies of the language, which is way more than I could do by just posting a few messages here. It may be best to just take a shortcut and ask someone else to write the English lyrics for you too, if this is the case, or write the lyrics yourself in your native language.

 

Anyway, I enjoyed it. Thank you for posting it. :)

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