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iggy

April Regular Lyric Contest

laugh.gifApril Lyric Contestlaugh.gif
 
The timeline is:

 

• Entries will be accepted now through Midnight Pacific Daylight Time (PDT) Sunday, April 23

• Voting (scorecards) will take place Monday April 24 through Midnight (PDT) Saturday April 29.

• Don't start voting until I officially post the scoring instructions.

• I'll post the results on Sunday April 30

 

 

cool.gifHere are the rules:cool.gif

 

 

1) It has to be an original lyric that has not been posted on this site previously

 

2) Send your submission to me (iggy) via private message and I will post it anonymously on your behalf. The names of each lyric writer will be revealed at the end of the contest.

 

3) Once you enter your lyric, you cannot change or revise it, or submit another in its place.

 

4) I will submit it as is, so watch your format and your spelling. I will not change any of your errors after the lyric has been posted.

 

5) If you enter, you must submit scores for the other lyrics when the submission portion of the contest ends.

 

All Musers are welcome to submit songs as contestants or score the songs as non-contestants. Any questions or problems should be sent to me (iggy) via private message (PM).

 

smile.gifENJOYsmile.gif

iggy

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Um, by " It has to be an original lyric that has not been posted on this site previously" do you include something I just posted today to the lyrics section? Not understanding your rules? (Not even aware you even have such a contest?) Can I delete it from the lyrics section then post it to the contest? Or am I just, well, screwed?

 

Just wondering ... don't really care all that much :D:D

 

The song, btw, should you be interested, is "Fallen Angel"(https://www.musesongwriters.com/forums/index.php?/topic/64000-fallen-angel/).

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dvcsongs.

 

Yes, it must be a lyric that has not been posted on this site......so I'm afraid your posted lyric will not qualify...   You can examine the previous contests to see how they work.....There is still plenty of time to write a different song to enter.....

 

iggy

bump

 

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 A Way To Keep Us Together

 

I remember the night we left

Cold and rainy in the car we went

All three of us were crying

Unsure of what lies ahead

 

Mom found a one bedroom apartment

At night she slept on the floor

She let my sister and I have the bedroom

It was all that she could afford

 

She said it might not be so bad

It might not be so good

But I’ll do everything that I can

To give you the life you deserve

 

I’m gonna be your daddy and momma

I’m gonna keep on striving for

A way to keep us together

And keep us happy for evermore

 

Twenty four years have passed by

Both happy and fully grown

Realizing now how hard it was

Raising children when you’re on your own

 

When they ask me to give them this and that

It’s hard to keep them satisfied

I know what kept you going

It was determination and pride

 

Kids it might not be so bad

It might not be so good

But I’ll do everything that I can

To give you the life you deserve

 

 I’m gonna be your daddy and momma

I’m gonna keep on striving for

A way to keep us together

And keep us happy for evermore

 

It took years of searching for Mr. Right

Believe me there’s been good and bad

And now that she’s found him

He’s giving her the life she never had

 

When my sister and I went to visit them

Mom was crying he was holding her hand

The three of us were crying

When he gave mom a wedding band

 

He said it might not be so bad

It might not be so good

But I’ll do everything that I can

To give you the life you deserve

 

I vow to be your guardian angel

I’m gonna keep on striving for

A way to keep us together

And keep us happy for evermore

 

A way to keep us together

And keep us happy for evermore

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While We're Here

 

Verse 1:
Moonbeams dance upon a lake
but you can't see it
in nature's breath tranquility
but you can't feel it

Pre-Chorus:
Open your eyes
put down that phone
clocks no longer tick
underneath a stone

Chorus:
While we're here
while we're here
love with all your heart
that's how to leave your mark

While we're here
while we're here
sing aloud your song
make right every wrong
while we're here
while we're here
while we're here
while we're here

Verse 2:
Holy water turns to wine
but you can't taste it
sunrise brings to you a gift
but you just waste it

Pre-Chorus:
Learn to forgive
learn to forget
a life not fully lived
will be your one regret

Chorus:
While we're here
while we're here
love with all your heart
that's how to leave your mark

While we're here
while we're here
sing aloud your song
make right every wrong
while we're here
while we're here
while we're here
while we're here

Bridge:
For each of us a journey
unto the promised land
washed away to memories
like footprints in the sand

Chorus:
While we're here
while we're here
love with all your heart
that's how to leave your mark

While we're here
while we're here
sing aloud your song
make right every wrong
while we're here
while we're here

Outro:
While we're here
while we're here
love with all your heart
that's how to leave your mark
while we're here
while we're here

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Those long lost days

 

(Intro)
Counting the years out
The days we've spent together,
The snow ambushes down
My mood fits this chill weather.

 

(Verse 1)
Present circumstances have got me to thinking
And these reflections that I'm having
Lend themselves well to drinking.
As the beer bottles pile up
The past's boundaries seem to haze,
I peer back through tinted glass
At all those long lost days.

 

(Chorus)
I remember she bought running shoes
And we ran through the city,
I remember the blush of her youth
I recall she looked so pretty.
I remember
I remember
I recall us being so happy
But maybe that's just a trick of my mind?

(Verse 2)
Partial reminiscence has got me to wishing
That I could serenade that girl again
Start up where we left off kissing.
As the train carriages filled up
Our passions blazed,
I peer back along the lines
At all those long lost days.

 

(Chorus)
I remember she bought running shoes
And we ran through the city,
I remember the blush of her youth
I recall she looked so pretty.

I remember cutting a corner
Some winged beast nearly hit us,
I recall us bunched over in laughter
As that heron flew off.
I remember
I remember
I recall us being so happy
But maybe that's just a trick of my mind?

(Bridge)
Now we have candid conversations
Stripping bare the truth,
Painful revelations
As the avalanche cuts loose.
It seems my memories betray me
Smiles that I thought were there,
Were painted on
And all along,
We were just one station from despair.

(Chorus)
I remember she bought running shoes
And we ran through the city,
I remember the blush of her youth
I recall she looked so pretty.

I remember so many little things

But they’ll vanish like melting snowflakes,

I recall us huddled in a bus stop

Carefree days in cafes eating cakes.

I remember
I remember
I recall us being so happy
But maybe that's just a trick of my mind?

 

Surely that wasn't all just a trick of my mind …

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Shadow Puppets

 

Children playing with the light in the hall
Little hands cast silhouettes on the wall

 

There's a turtle
There's a chicken
There's a frog
There's a cat with funny ears
No, it's a dog

 

Squirm and giggle, make 'em say crazy things
Make them jiggle, make them bigger, make 'em shrink

 

There's a turtle
There's a chicken
There's a frog
There's a cat with funny ears
No, it's a dog

 

Innocence gets lost
Where does it go?
Maybe those shadow puppets know

 

Life's so fleeting, soon I'll draw a final breath
A setting sun peeks through the curtains at my bed

 

A fuzzy image on my covers now appears
Is it a dog? No, it's cat with funny ears

 

Innocence is lost
But it comes home
It's just as I suspected all along
Only our shadow puppets know
Only our shadow puppets know

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Life in Red City

 

Verse 1

Each night she goes fishing
with lipstick and scent
Her fishnet stockings
trawl the sidewalks for rent
If her clothes look tawdry
she'd have to agree
But the truth lies in her eyes
saying this isn't me

Chorus 1
The bars on her windows
don't hold back her dreams
The shackles that find her
close slowly unseen
No alarm call wake-up
can help shake her free
From the sleepless prison
That's life in red city

Verse 2
Each day he goes hunting
for comfort and beer
And on the street corner
finds escape he should fear
Each look in his mirror
hides a diff'rent disguise
Never sure of the moment
when his truth turned to lies

Chorus 2
The bars on his windows
don't hold back his dreams
The shackles that find him
close slowly unseen
No alarm call wake-up
can help set him free
From the sleepless prison
That's life in red city

Verse 3
Each night they go calling
on nightclubs and bars
Blues songs smoky rooms
outside screaming cars
In downtown red city
stripped of their pride
Naked in the red light
just their souls left to hide

Chorus 3
The bars on their windows
don't hold back their dreams
The shackles that find them
close slowly unseen
No alarm call wake-up
can help set them free
From the sleepless prison
That's life in red city

 

Tag

That's just life in red city...

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Here On Vacation

 

I got a touristy tee shirt; a sunburned nose.    
A pair of old flip flops with sand on my toes 
All these babes in bikinis with sex on their mind. 
And 7 more days to completely unwind.

 

Cuz i'm...

here on vacation. forget all your woes. 
here on location,  and anything goes. 
Here on vacation. Don't ask me the time.
Sheer jubilation: Coronas and lime.

 

I...

Got some Mexican beer and some Cuban cigars,   
Some single malt Scotch and Hawaiian guitars.   
There's at least a good mile on this unexplored beach 
No cell phones or wi-fi; I'm so out of reach. 

 

Yes I'm....

Here on vacation. with beautiful views.  
It's pure relaxation. I might even snooze
here on vacation, the weather's just fine
Just pure relaxation. The sun always shines. 
 

They say a man might tire of this.  I guess I'll never know. 
They're expecting a Nor'easter, Back home it's ten below. 


That's why...

I'm here on vacation. The party just grows. 
For rejuvenation there's wet tee shirt shows.
My yearly ration of feeling no pain. 
Cold ones and ganja, I'm out of my brain. 

 

I'm here on vacation. Here on vacation. 

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Trail of Tears

 

House of cards or house of glass
One will fall, the other shatter
Simple question, does it matter?
Either way, you’re homeless
Aren’t you, darling?

 

House of mud or house of bricks
Or even house of wooden sticks
Any way, you’re in a fix
Four walls close you in now
Don’t they, darling?

 

(Chorus 1)
And I won’t be pinned down
Like a butterfly
From the moment I could crawl
I made my mother cry
The only roof I need
Is a bluer sky
As I blaze my trail of tears

 

Road to pleasure, road to pain
One dead ends, the other’s endless
Lose your way, you end up friendless
Who will hold your hand then
Pretty darling?

 

Road to heaven, road to hell
One is bright, the other darker
Neither gives you distance markers
Either way you’ll finish
Won’t you, darling?

 

(Chorus 2)
And I won’t be pinned down
Like a butterfly
From the moment I could crawl
I made my mother cry
The only signs I read
Are those deep inside
As I blaze my trail of tears

 

(Bridge)
I love the way your honey hair
Falls all around this pillow
I love to feel your fingers on my face
But now I have a sense I’ve been here long enough
It’s time for me to find another place

 

(Chorus 3)
’Cause I won’t be pinned down
Like a butterfly
From the moment I could crawl
I made my mother cry
I only say hello
So I can say goodbye
As I blaze my trail of tears

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The Gig Economy

 

1 /

When I was twenty, i played in a band
Gigged like hell , we rode in a van
Coast to coast, every town
Challenged the world to hold us down

 

lift/

And when Ross quit the band 
We all could understand 
Like a slow deflating tire
There was no shame, 
we’d played the game
And we’d almost captured fire

 

chorus/

In the gig economy
Dreams become your currency
To climb, belief is a fragile rope
In the gig economy
You suspend reality
Nourished by the fleeting taste of hope

 

2/
They told me gigs were coming back
For anyone who wants a crack
You don't need to play guitar
You just rent your room, or drive your car

 

lift/

And so I took the deal,

But at night I sometimes feel
Nothing has gone quite right
But who has the drive

for playing out live, 
Every single night?

 

chorus/

In the gig economy
Dreams become your currency
In the climb, belief becomes your rope
In the gig economy
You suspend reality
Nourished by the fleeting taste of hope

 

bridge/

 

The truth be told, I find nothing to celebrate
The music wasnt for money, it was trying to be great
No pleasure in what I’ve become, on the fringes of the law
Gigging for a living, and dying more and more

 

 

chorus/

In the gig economy
Dreams become your currency
In the climb, belief becomes your rope
In the gig economy
You suspend reality
Nourished by the fleeting taste of hope

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The Mad Hatter’s Pad

 

 

Verse 1

Hatter used to grow tobacco

He used to grow a little corn

He moved to watch weeds grow

After he was scorned

 

 Verse 2

He took tiny seed from Mexico

Planted them in full sun

Paradise row after row

Protected by barbed wire and guns

 

 Chorus

Get on the mystery ship

Time to trip the blues

Time to let troubles slip

Turn off the TV news

Chronic for the manic

Buds of joy for the sad

Flowers in the attic

At the Mad Hatters pad

 

 Verse 3

Harvest time we’ll have a party

Watch cow jump the moon

Throw confetti at the sortie

When dish runs away with spoon

 

Verse 4

Remember to check covers

Those top hats hide a lot

Rabbits, doves; budding lovers

Of prime southern pot

 

Chorus

Get on the mystery ship

Time to trip the blues

Time to let troubles slip

Turn off the TV news

Chronic for the manic

Buds of joy for the sad

Flowers in the attic

At the Mad Hatters pad

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Remember

 

I left the ocean front

With time in my hand

And a clearer head now

About exactly who I am

Faces fade but memories

They can stand apart

As all the notes that come from

The strings of their hearts

 

Looking out at the waves

I only had to see

The struggle of living life

Without a shred of urgency

Slowing down is an art

With life as it’s muse

It’s expression in purest form

Are the songs of the blues

 

And so I  

 

-Chorus-

Remember my dear Friends

Who were lost from the start

Every word they sang

Reaches out and changes hearts

I remember my dear Friends

Their words echo to this day

“We might not be able to talk with you”

“But promise you’ll still visit our graves”

 

 

I went to their graves

And as my tears hit the ground

I laughed at the memories

That were made when they were around

You can replace most things in life

With a little bit of greed

But you will never get back the people

With whom you can still make memories

 

-Chorus-

I remember my dear Friends

Who were lost from the start

Every word they sang

Reaches out and changes hearts

I remember my dear Friends

Their words echo to this day

“We might not be able to talk with you”

“But promise you’ll at least visit our graves”

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blush.gifTIME TO SCORE!wub.gif
 
• Voting (scorecards) will take place Monday, April 24 through Midnight (PDT) Saturday, April 29.

• I'll post the results on Sunday, April 30

 

PLEASE READ BEFORE SUBMITTING YOUR SCORES:

1. Please title your post, "LYRIC SCORES."

2. When you send me your scores, put the number to the left of the song title, like this: "1.5 - Song Title."

3. Also important…leave a blank spot for your song, but keep the title in the list.

 

For example, if your song title is "Cat Puke Soup," your scores should look like this:

4.5 Song Title

3.0 Song Title

...Cat Puke Soup

1.5 Song Title

 

4. Please read and rate each lyric using the scoring table below (Scores of 1.0 and 5.0 should be rare). Copy and paste the list at the bottom of this post and insert your score to the left of each title.

 

Then send your scores to me them to me (iggy) in a Private Message before  

Midnight (PDT) Saturday April 29.

 

- Do not rank the songs, from 5 down to 1; use the criteria below

- Do not rank the songs against each other; use the criteria below

- Do not score your own lyric

 

excl.gifblink.gifIf you are a contestant, you must provide scores or your entry will be disqualified blink.gifexcl.gif
 
Ask yourself how well the lyric flows/rhymes. Does it create emotions? Can you imagine it set to music?

 

1.0 - Excellent.

1.5 - Almost Excellent

2.0 - Very Good

2.5 - Good

3.0 - Above Average

3.5 - Average

4.0 - Below Average

4.5 - Poor

5.0 - Very Poor

 

 

Here are the lyrics:

*********

A Way To Keep Us Together

While We're Here

Those Long Lost Days

Shadow Puppets

Life in Red City

Here On Vacation

Trail of Tears

The Gig Economy

The Mad Hatter’s Pad

Remember

*************

 

cool.gifsmile.gifPlease vote even if you don't have an entrysmile.gifcool.gif

iggy

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:oAnd Now For The Results!:o

 

:blink:And a very close contest it was:blink:

 

 

The Winners Are:

*****

 

:wub:GOLD:wub:

:DHere On Vacation - KUYA :D

 

***And a tie for***

 

:lol: SILVER:lol:

:PTrail Of Tears - LyriCAL:P

:PA Way To Keep Us Together - Michael Black:P

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here On Vacation

Kuya

4.0

2.5

2.0

3.0

1.5

3.5

2.0

3.0

3.5

3.0

3.5

31.5

A Way To Keep Us Together

Michael Black

3.5

1.0

3.5

2.5

3.5

3.0

3.5

2.5

3.5

3.5

3.0

33.0

Trail of Tears

LyriCAL

3.5

2.5

3.0

2.5

3.0

2.5

3.5

3.0

3.5

2.5

3.5

33.0

Those Long Lost Days

SongWolfe

3.0

1.5

3.5

3.0

3.0

3.5

2.5

3.5

3.5

3.0

3.5

33.5

The Mad Hatter’s Pad

Graybeard

4.5

2.5

3.5

4.0

1.5

3.0

3.5

2.0

3.5

2.0

3.5

33.5

Life in Red City

AndyLef

4.0

2.0

2.5

3.5

3.5

3.0

3.0

3.0

3.5

2.5

3.5

34.0

While We're Here

Eric Borgos

4.0

3.5

3.0

3.0

3.0

3.5

3.0

3.0

3.0

3.0

3.5

35.5

Shadow Puppets

PaukCanuck

4.5

1.5

3.5

3.5

3.0

3.0

3.5

4.5

3.0

2.5

3.5

36.0

Remember

BlueLewie

3.5

2.5

4.0

3.5

2.5

3.5

3.0

3.5

3.0

3.5

3.5

36.0

The Gig Economy

Fabkebab

4.0

2.5

4.0

4.0

3.0

3.5

3.0

3.5

3.5

2.5

3.0

36.5

                           

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks to A Musical Key for the vote!

*****Thanks to everyone for a great contest*****

iggy

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I must say i'm very surprised and happy.  The competition was really tight which doesn't surprise me as the submissions were all pretty decent.  Congrats to Lyrical and Michael Black and everyone else. And thank you Iggy for hosting this event again.  

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Well done to the winners! I am a bit shocked to be bringing up the rear, but no worries - Food for thought!

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Congratulations to Kuya! You had my highest rated lyric. Congratulations to Michael as well.

 

While I gave no score below 3.5, I have decided that my advanced years afford me the privilege of being a curmudgeon. If I don't see how the hell you can sing it, because the prosody is weak or lacking altogether, then I will score a lyric lower from now on. These are lyrics after all, not poems.

 

Thanks to iggy for running the show!

 

Cheers,

Doug

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Congrats to Kuya - great contemporary country lyric IMHO.

Good job Doug and Michael for the blue ribbon position.

Must admit I'm a little chagrined at getting two 4.5's - would love to hear why someone felt that was warranted (PM me please!)

 

Thanks Iggy for hosting - the pay's no hell but at least it's not a thankless job :)

Paul

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Very well done Iggy for organising :) and to Musical Key for guest voting; that takes a lot of time and is much appreciated.

 

Some highly imaginative lyrics this month - loved "Mad Hatters Pad" and "Here on Vacation" - well done Kuya; a worthy winner. "Shadow Puppets" was very imaginative as well; would go down really well in a song genre you could sing to your kids and have 'em laughing at bed time.

 

A question on the rules - has the extra average score idea been dropped? It used to be that everyone gets the average mark of their own scores as an addition mark? - this helps prevent 'tactical' voting (which is pretty mean spirited) where every mark given is on the lower end of the range...

 

Andy 

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Well done to Kuya, Michael and Doug. Some good entries this month. My personal favourites were 'Here on vacation' and 'Life in Red City'.

 

And a big thanks to Iggy for organising

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8 hours ago, AndyLeF said:

A question on the rules - has the extra average score idea been dropped? It used to be that everyone gets the average mark of their own scores as an addition mark? - this helps prevent 'tactical' voting (which is pretty mean spirited) where every mark given is on the lower end of the range...

 

 

If the first column represents someone's scoring, then maybe the average rule should come back!

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When a lyric such as Paul's shadow puppets can have a spread of 3 points i have to wonder myself,  Fab. Trail of tears, by contrast, had a spread of only 1 point. Here on vacation had a spread of two and a half points.  I have reread Len's advice on how to review lyrics from the lyrics feedback forum many many times so i could attempt to use some objective criteria in scoring the lyrics in these contests. i use a list of Len's criteria each month in scoring.  Len's advice is very helpful. And the others who responded to Len's blog as well. There's nothing poor about shadow puppets, for example, and I just picked that one to use as an example because Paul already mentioned it.  

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1 minute ago, kuya said:

There's nothing poor about shadow puppets, for example,  

I was open enough to admit I was the guilty party who gave it a poor score. I am happy to share my other scores- I was not voting strategically i can promise!

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I think the marking of scores will always be very subjective. Think the best thing to do is issue a reminder on the scoring guidelines and then individuals can seek feedback after the contest in the Lyric Feedback section.

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I was thinking a bit about the "spread" question-

 

IMHO a song which gets scores between 1 and 5 is much better than a song which gets a solid 2.5

 

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Congrats to all and thank you.  There's great talent on this forum. 

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