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PaulCanuck

Short song challenge

Ok, so this is an ongoing challenge for you awesome songwriters on the muse to write a short song that will still connect to listeners. How short? Well that's up to you. I'm thinking short is under 2 minutes, but if you can make it happen in 20 secs I'd love to hear it and I'm sure others would too. Mines already on the go. I hope I can come up short! :)/>/>/> :)/>/>/>

Possible rules (open to interpretation B)/>/>/> B)/>/>/> ):

- must have one or more verses

- must have one or more choruses

- should have a bridge*, an intro* and an outro*

- must be short** :)/>/>/>

* = this rule may be wimped out of :D/>

** = this rule may NOT be wimped out of

Post to this thread, even if it's just a short lyric maybe a short collab will happen.

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Well, there's no intro/outro, but it is short. Just written. Gonna add music.

Touch

(Verse)

Meandering.

A stream with no banks,

Lost my way.

A dream held my hand,

Heard her say

I love you.

(Chorus)

A kiss.

A touch...

Alive.

(Bridge)

Holding her.

Not ever letting go.

Loving her...

Loving her.

(Chorus)

A kiss.

A touch...

Alive.

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Well, there's no intro/outro, but it is short. Just written. Gonna add music.

Touch

(Verse)

Meandering.

A stream with no banks,

Lost my way.

A dream held my hand,

Heard her say

I love you.

(Chorus)

A kiss.

A touch...

Alive.

(Bridge)

Holding her.

Not ever letting go.

Loving her...

Loving her.

(Chorus)

A kiss.

A touch...

Alive.

Oh yeah!

Great word economy.

Less is more!

Thanks for kicking this off.

Paul

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Ok, so this is an ongoing challenge for you awesome songwriters on the muse to write a short song that will still connect to listeners. How short? Well that's up to you. I'm thinking short is under 2 minutes, but if you can make it happen in 20 secs I'd love to hear it and I'm sure others would too. Mines already on the go. I hope I can come up short! :)/>/> :)/>/>

Possible rules (open to interpretation B)/>/> B)/>/> ):

- must have one or more verses

- must have one or more choruses

- must have a bridge, an intro and an extro

- must be short :)/>/>

Post to this thread, even if it's just a short lyric maybe a short collab will happen.

Must have a bridge? Not all songs need them. I assume 'extro' is Canuckian for 'outro'! ;)

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Ok, so this is an ongoing challenge for you awesome songwriters on the muse to write a short song that will still connect to listeners. How short? Well that's up to you. I'm thinking short is under 2 minutes, but if you can make it happen in 20 secs I'd love to hear it and I'm sure others would too. Mines already on the go. I hope I can come up short! :)/>/>/> :)/>/>/>

Possible rules (open to interpretation B)/>/>/> B)/>/>/> ):

- must have one or more verses

- must have one or more choruses

- must have a bridge, an intro and an extro

- must be short :)/>/>/>

Post to this thread, even if it's just a short lyric maybe a short collab will happen.

Must have a bridge? Not all songs need them. I assume 'extro' is Canuckian for 'outro'! ;)/>

re bridge - just want it to be more challenging B) OK OK "should" have a bridge but "this requirement may be wimped out of". over and ext :):)

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This one might develop into a non-short song ....

Catacombs

V

Blackness

Darkness

Horrors beyond recall

Despair

Nightmare

An anguishing fall

Ch

When I look into my closet

I know the skeletons I will find

But what is really hidden

In the catacombs of my mind

Br

Seven circles call me down

Will my sanity be unbound

Ch

When I look into my closet

I know the skeletons I will find

But what is really hidden

In the catacombs of my mind

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The first song on my album clocks in at 1:45. No bridge, but intro, 2 verses and 2 choruses (sort of). Any thoughts are welcome.

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Mike, this is a great lyric - do you have music for it? If you're open to it, I'd love to put some music to it and give it a go - I estimate I can make a 45 second song out of it.

Let me know if that's OK with you.

This one might develop into a non-short song ....

Catacombs

V

Blackness

Darkness

Horrors beyond recall

Despair

Nightmare

An anguishing fall

Ch

When I look into my closet

I know the skeletons I will find

But what is really hidden

In the catacombs of my mind

Br

Seven circles call me down

Will my sanity be unbound

Ch

When I look into my closet

I know the skeletons I will find

But what is really hidden

In the catacombs of my mind

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Mike, this is a great lyric - do you have music for it? If you're open to it, I'd love to put some music to it and give it a go - I estimate I can make a 45 second song out of it.

Let me know if that's OK with you.

Thanks, no music yet - I wrote it after reading the prompt here (I had a version of the chorus already written. Feel free to try to put it to music. I have some ideas, but it will surely be 2 minutes long - at least. I may expand it, or base a 'normal length' song on it at some point.

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Well my studio is disassembled while we get ready to refinish the basement. Cool entries so far. This enforces word economy in a song. I might be a little too wordy in the verses but the choruses are pretty economical.

So here's a lyric written to be a short song.

It’s Life

We are the Fringe of functional

Out of the pocket

We’re Totally dysfunctional

It’s Life

On a knife

Can’t balance all the little things

It’s now

Not later

Fallen in and out of favor

We’ve missed another deadline

Died on arrival

Now, we’re not so very fine

It’s Life

On a knife

Can’t balance all the little things

It’s now

Not later

Fallen in and out of favor

Bills and spills not makin it

Just uptown junk

South side Punks

Skills and Thrills not makin it

It’s Life

On a knife

Can’t balance all the little things

It’s now

Not later

Fallen in and out of favor

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Here's a short little rock song inspired by something that the Rolling Stones might had done in the early '60s.

It's a basic G/D/C chord progression :D It is easily a 2:15 song, but could work very well at 1:45 B)

“She Was My Angel”

by Tom Tognaci

I love her so, I can’t let go

But she said to me, “I could set you free

Before you’d know”

I realize what she implies

I’d be on the street in a heartbeat

With no goodbyes

And she, she was my angel

But she, she’s not my angel no more

~Inst.~

She was my sail, my holy grail

But here’s the thing …she dropped her wings

For a bright red tail

And she, she was my angel

But she, she’s not my angel no more

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That's really cool sir Iron. Looking at yours I think I should lose the second verse to shorten it up. Probably at least 3 minutes as is. Or drop the bridge.

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This one might develop into a non-short song ....

Catacombs

V

Blackness

Darkness

Horrors beyond recall

Despair

Nightmare

An anguishing fall

Ch

When I look into my closet

I know the skeletons I will find

But what is really hidden

In the catacombs of my mind

Br

Seven circles call me down

Will my sanity be unbound

Ch

When I look into my closet

I know the skeletons I will find

But what is really hidden

In the catacombs of my mind

This could be a dark heavy metal tune with those lyrics. Cool write.

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Well, there's no intro/outro, but it is short. Just written. Gonna add music.

Touch

(Verse)

Meandering.

A stream with no banks,

Lost my way.

A dream held my hand,

Heard her say

I love you.

(Chorus)

A kiss.

A touch...

Alive.

(Bridge)

Holding her.

Not ever letting go.

Loving her...

Loving her.

(Chorus)

A kiss.

A touch...

Alive.

I really love the economy of this. Says so much with so little.

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This one might develop into a non-short song ....

Catacombs

V

Blackness

Darkness

Horrors beyond recall

Despair

Nightmare

An anguishing fall

Ch

When I look into my closet

I know the skeletons I will find

But what is really hidden

In the catacombs of my mind

Br

Seven circles call me down

Will my sanity be unbound

Ch

When I look into my closet

I know the skeletons I will find

But what is really hidden

In the catacombs of my mind

This could be a dark heavy metal tune with those lyrics. Cool write.

I agree, cool lyric.

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Thanks Paul and Scotto.

Recorded last night. 1:23. Cubase wasn't cooperating, couldn't EQ the guitar.

Touch

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Some really cool lyric ideas so far - looking 4ward to hearing them.

Mine's going to be my Smiley Face :) lyric. Clocking in at 1:59 - but maybe can trim a bit more.. Doubt if I'll get it to 1:23 though!

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Thanks, Scotto and JOe. Not sure where this will lead when I get around to it. First draft of the chorus (done months ago) was all 'you' rather than 'I', but curiously, my notes had the 'my' in the final line as a song title. I can definitely see playing around with some dark synth tones as an intro, which could easily drive the song into 'normal' song length.

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Well my studio is disassembled while we get ready to refinish the basement. Cool entries so far. This enforces word economy in a song. I might be a little too wordy in the verses but the choruses are pretty economical.

So here's a lyric written to be a short song.

Its Life

We are the Fringe of functional

Out of the pocket

Were Totally dysfunctional

Its Life

On a knife

Cant balance all the little things

Its now

Not later

Fallen in and out of favor

Bills and spills not makin it

Just uptown junk

South side Punks

Skills and Thrills not makin it

Its Life

On a knife

Cant balance all the little things

Its now

Not later

Fallen in and out of favor

Hey there Scotto.........If you cut out the 2nd verse you could probably get away with cutting a chorus. Could be cool!!!

My all time short song has to be The Beatle's, "Her Majesty". It was the first song I ever learned. I chose it because it was so short. As I began to learn it, I quickly learned that their chording for that little song was very challenging....especially, for a beginner :D

Good luck with your little opus......I'm still trying to find the time to record B)

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Thanks sir Iron. I'll roll with it that way. I really like that. I'll probably have to do a live video for the idea. Hope to hear yours around here soon. It has a lot of potential. I'm not familiar with that Beatles song but I'm going to go seek it out. Hopefully you find that roundtoit and get recording.

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Thanks sir Iron. I'll roll with it that way. I really like that. I'll probably have to do a live video for the idea. Hope to hear yours around here soon. It has a lot of potential. I'm not familiar with that Beatles song but I'm going to go seek it out. Hopefully you find that roundtoit and get recording.

Hey there Scotto....it can be found on the Abby Road album.....the very last song on the record. Killer chording.

- B)

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Thanks sir Iron. I'll roll with it that way. I really like that. I'll probably have to do a live video for the idea. Hope to hear yours around here soon. It has a lot of potential. I'm not familiar with that Beatles song but I'm going to go seek it out. Hopefully you find that roundtoit and get recording.

Hey there Scotto....it can be found on the Abby Road album.....the very last song on the record. Killer chording.

- B)/>

Note: it was not listed on the song tracks on the original vinyl version, but is on the CD track listing.

Some cool info on it here.

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Hey - anybody got a demo done yet? - should take only half the time with a short song :)

Hope to record mine this weekend - weather permitting (hope it rains :) )

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OK - it did rain! - so here's my short song attempt, weighing in at exactly two minutes.

It's a song for my grandkids and I plan to do an animated video.

The chorus is in 5/4 time if you notice an extra beat here and there :)/>/> I know the drums need work - rolls etc. and the bridge needs some backing music (besides bass :) )

Any other suggs?

Smiley Face

Thanks guys!

Paul

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Thanks sir Iron. I'll roll with it that way. I really like that. I'll probably have to do a live video for the idea. Hope to hear yours around here soon. It has a lot of potential. I'm not familiar with that Beatles song but I'm going to go seek it out. Hopefully you find that roundtoit and get recording.

Hey there Scotto....it can be found on the Abby Road album.....the very last song on the record. Killer chording.

- B)

Note: it was not listed on the song tracks on the original vinyl version, but is on the CD track listing.

Some cool info on it here.

I first came across The Beatles, Abby Road album around 1976 (before cd's were avilable....I think), and it was definetly listed on that lp's sleeve (I still have it). I think that Wikipedia must be citing the original marketing of the first albums release, as to not having the song listed.

In any event, gotta love the choring on that dizzy little piece ;)

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OK - it did rain! - so here's my short song attempt, weighing in at exactly two minutes.

It's a song for my grandkids and I plan to do an animated video.

The chorus is in 5/4 time if you notice an extra beat here and there :)/>/>/>/>/>/> I know the drums need work - rolls etc. and the bridge needs some backing music (besides bass :)/>/>/>/> )

Any other suggs?

Smiley Face

Thanks guys!

Paul

Thought I would mention a few things I did to keep this song short if anyone's interested:

- set it to a quick tempo (ballads must be hard to do short but somehow George Jones managed with "He Stopped Loving Her Today" and "The Window up Above")

- use of 5/4 time. At the expensive of sounding quirky (which was OK with smiley :) ) I added a beat in the chorus bars. When I tried it at this tempo without the extra beat it sounded rushed, and I had no time to breathe. So I'm thinking anyone singing along would have trouble too. And adding a full bar between lines really added to the length.

- get to the hook fast - I think this is important in a short song. With only 2 mins to plant that ear worm they need to hear it early and often

- the first chorus is 1/2 chorus. This shortened things by 1/2 chorus, plus I was able to return to the backstory in the verses sooner.

- short intro and outro, and no instrumental solo

I wonder if the listener feels cheated at the end but I notice people seem to play it more than once on SC so maybe feeling cheated is a good thing? :):)

I'm hoping someone else will post a short song soon so little smiley :) doesn't get lonely!

Paul

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Hey Mike

I took a crack at this song this weekend, got it all into a song with intro, verse, chorus, interlude, bridge, and chorus in 54 seconds. Let me know what you think

https://soundcloud.com/mondo-art/catacombs-with-mike-b

Neel

This one might develop into a non-short song ....

Catacombs

V

Blackness

Darkness

Horrors beyond recall

Despair

Nightmare

An anguishing fall

Ch

When I look into my closet

I know the skeletons I will find

But what is really hidden

In the catacombs of my mind

Br

Seven circles call me down

Will my sanity be unbound

Ch

When I look into my closet

I know the skeletons I will find

But what is really hidden

In the catacombs of my mind

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Hey Paul

Your song is really bright and bouncy, I like it. The verses are strong and hooky. However, for me, the extra beat in the chorus kinda throws things off, and the rhythm of your lyric is a little jarring. If I may make a suggestion, I think making the chorus into 4/4, followed by 6/4 (& repeat) might serve the song better.

Cheers

Neel

OK - it did rain! - so here's my short song attempt, weighing in at exactly two minutes.

It's a song for my grandkids and I plan to do an animated video.

The chorus is in 5/4 time if you notice an extra beat here and there :)/>/>/>/>/>/>/> I know the drums need work - rolls etc. and the bridge needs some backing music (besides bass :)/>/>/>/>/> )

Any other suggs?

Smiley Face

Thanks guys!

Paul

Thought I would mention a few things I did to keep this song short if anyone's interested:

- set it to a quick tempo (ballads must be hard to do short but somehow George Jones managed with "He Stopped Loving Her Today" and "The Window up Above")

- use of 5/4 time. At the expensive of sounding quirky (which was OK with smiley :)/> ) I added a beat in the chorus bars. When I tried it at this tempo without the extra beat it sounded rushed, and I had no time to breathe. So I'm thinking anyone singing along would have trouble too. And adding a full bar between lines really added to the length.

- get to the hook fast - I think this is important in a short song. With only 2 mins to plant that ear worm they need to hear it early and often

- the first chorus is 1/2 chorus. This shortened things by 1/2 chorus, plus I was able to return to the backstory in the verses sooner.

- short intro and outro, and no instrumental solo

I wonder if the listener feels cheated at the end but I notice people seem to play it more than once on SC so maybe feeling cheated is a good thing? :)/> :)/>

I'm hoping someone else will post a short song soon so little smiley :)/> doesn't get lonely!

Paul

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OK - it did rain! - so here's my short song attempt, weighing in at exactly two minutes.

It's a song for my grandkids and I plan to do an animated video.

The chorus is in 5/4 time if you notice an extra beat here and there :)/>/>/>/>/>/>/> I know the drums need work - rolls etc. and the bridge needs some backing music (besides bass :)/>/>/>/>/> )

Any other suggs?

Smiley Face

Thanks guys!

Paul

Thought I would mention a few things I did to keep this song short if anyone's interested:

- set it to a quick tempo (ballads must be hard to do short but somehow George Jones managed with "He Stopped Loving Her Today" and "The Window up Above")

- use of 5/4 time. At the expensive of sounding quirky (which was OK with smiley :)/> ) I added a beat in the chorus bars. When I tried it at this tempo without the extra beat it sounded rushed, and I had no time to breathe. So I'm thinking anyone singing along would have trouble too. And adding a full bar between lines really added to the length.

- get to the hook fast - I think this is important in a short song. With only 2 mins to plant that ear worm they need to hear it early and often

- the first chorus is 1/2 chorus. This shortened things by 1/2 chorus, plus I was able to return to the backstory in the verses sooner.

- short intro and outro, and no instrumental solo

I wonder if the listener feels cheated at the end but I notice people seem to play it more than once on SC so maybe feeling cheated is a good thing? :)/> :)/>

I'm hoping someone else will post a short song soon so little smiley :)/> doesn't get lonely!

Paul

No doubt the extra beat in the chorus woudl make it tough for kids to sing along. YOu could have sped it up just a hair and kept it under 2 minutes!

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Hey Mike

I took a crack at this song this weekend, got it all into a song with intro, verse, chorus, interlude, bridge, and chorus in 54 seconds. Let me know what you think

https://soundcloud.com/mondo-art/catacombs-with-mike-b

Neel

This one might develop into a non-short song ....

Catacombs

V

Blackness

Darkness

Horrors beyond recall

Despair

Nightmare

An anguishing fall

Ch

When I look into my closet

I know the skeletons I will find

But what is really hidden

In the catacombs of my mind

Br

Seven circles call me down

Will my sanity be unbound

Ch

When I look into my closet

I know the skeletons I will find

But what is really hidden

In the catacombs of my mind

I think short songs are just not my thing! In my head these lyrics (which I've already changed and added to) want something dark, and your music make it almost comical (part of that is the melody of the chorus). Nice try at keeping it short, though!

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Thanks for the comments Mondo and Mike :) . I'm stickin to my guns on the 5/4 though. I think kids could sing it fine (I can!) because they don't have a lifetime of 4/4 drummed into their heads like we do. Most musicians will have trouble chording along though - it's the 4/4 rote action that's hard (but not impossible) to overcome. It's very freeing when you cotton on to it. I'm going to check it out with the grandkids this month - if they can't sing along I'll eat my word sand report back!

Paul

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Wrote this yesterday. Gonna add music. Should be a pretty short song.

7/15 - Added music. 1:35. Not as short as I thought it would be.

Beneath A Tree

(Verse)

Cold storage.

Call florist.

(Chorus)

Close the lid,

Carry me.

Six feet under,

'Neath a tree.

(Music)

(Chorus)

Close the lid,

Carry me.

Six feet under,

'Neath a tree.

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Interesting challenge. This just popped out ... wierd but here goes...

Time

Time

Heals all

They say

I

Hurt more

With time

Tick tock

You're gone

Time stopped

I want it back

I want it back

Time

On my side

They say

I

Have nothing

But time

I have nothing

Tick tock

You're gone

Time stopped

I want it back

I want it back

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Interesting challenge. This just popped out ... wierd but here goes...

Time

Time

Heals all

They say

I

Hurt more

With time

Tick tock

You're gone

Time stopped

I want it back

I want it back

Time

On my side

They say

I

Have nothing

But time

I have nothing

Tick tock

You're gone

Time stopped

I want it back

I want it back

Love it! Word economy 101 ! Will we get to hear it?

Paul

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Wrote this yesterday. Gonna add music. Should be a pretty short song.

7/15 - Added music. 1:35. Not as short as I thought it would be.

Beneath A Tree

(Verse)

Cold storage.

Call florist.

(Chorus)

Close the lid,

Carry me.

Six feet under,

'Neath a tree.

(Music)

(Chorus)

Close the lid,

Carry me.

Six feet under,

'Neath a tree.

Hey Larry - now that was poignant!

Glad he found a place under a tree - and 6 feet is usually enough to keep the animals out!

Pretty short funeral though :) :) :)

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I pretty much exclusively write short lately, but here's what I came up with trying to follow these guidelines. The sections kind of flow together but I reckon I could argue one and a half verses, a chorus and a bridge.

Functional Drunk

is this important as a stepping stone?

am I appointed now a functional drunk?

is this the first day of the rest of my night?

am I delivered from a liver I can live with all my life?

who are you to say this is not helping me along?

am I appointed now a functional drunk?

so much for maybe I am not one for the books

but how does it hurt me to be spared your nervous looks?

this is not a glass

it’s a tunnel, and it’s drinking me down

the morning is impossibly far

and I can’t stand these kinds of nights and everything that they are

this is the first day of the rest of my life

I am delivered to the forward kind of motion that you like

this is not a glass

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Interesting challenge. This just popped out ... wierd but here goes...

Time

Time

Heals all

They say

I

Hurt more

With time

Tick tock

You're gone

Time stopped

I want it back

I want it back

Time

On my side

They say

I

Have nothing

But time

I have nothing

Tick tock

You're gone

Time stopped

I want it back

I want it back

Love it! Word economy 101 ! Will we get to hear it?

Paul

Thank you Paul. I'm not a musician so I don't have anything to hear, oh well:)

Take care

Karen

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I pretty much exclusively write short lately, but here's what I came up with trying to follow these guidelines. The sections kind of flow together but I reckon I could argue one and a half verses, a chorus and a bridge.

Functional Drunk

is this important as a stepping stone?

am I appointed now a functional drunk?

is this the first day of the rest of my night?

am I delivered from a liver I can live with all my life?

who are you to say this is not helping me along?

am I appointed now a functional drunk?

so much for maybe I am not one for the books

but how does it hurt me to be spared your nervous looks?

this is not a glass

it’s a tunnel, and it’s drinking me down

the morning is impossibly far

and I can’t stand these kinds of nights and everything that they are

this is the first day of the rest of my life

I am delivered to the forward kind of motion that you like

this is not a glass

Love it! Great short song, interesting melody and doesn't sound rushed. Well done.

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