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quadeh

The first song you ever wrote?

I propose that here we post the first song we ever wrote or recorded (or both!). If you're a lyricist, post the lyrics. If you're a musician, post what scribblings or recordings of it you still have. Don't be embarrassed! This is purely for fun, and we all have to write bad ones before we can start writing good ones :). Please note that a recording of your first song doesn't have to be the first recording you made, as the one I'm posting is probably the third or so revision.

So, I haven't been able to play guitar for a while due to wrist pain, and I've been going nuts. I'm bored, and in that boredom I happened to stumble upon an old (the first) song I wrote, probably when I was 17. It's a very weird (and not very good :) song, but when I listened to it, I had a sort of cool feeling. I like to think I've grown a bit as a songwriter, yet I hear attempts at things that I still attempt today. Some of what I forgot about it even surprised me when I heard it again (the instrumental section wasn't too bad!).

To kick things off, here is simultaneously my first song and the first I recorded (though this isn't the first recording). It's called "Daisy Stains" and it certainly is a strange little thing, put together in the FruityLoops trial after toying with chords on the guitar for some weeks. I still remember how excited I was that I actually managed to finish a song! The link is the awful PureVolume page I put together for myself back in the day too, for sake of authenticity and hopefully to help all you feel comfortable posting your first stuff :D.

http://www.purevolume.com/johnnyv

Whimsical scales

And fairy tales

Shooting through

My head

Spinning tops

And dancing mops

From a childhood

Long dead

How I miss you all

How I feel so tall

How I wish

I had never left

You

Choochoo trains

And daisy stains

In the yard

Long ago

Lego bricks

And pick-up sticks

In the place

I called home

How I miss you all

How I feel so tall

How I wish

I had never left

You

All so pure

And beautifully set

All so new

In silhouettes

All so bright

Like a shining star

All so far

From who you are

Now

Feel free to share a laugh with me after you hear it. I certainly couldn't help it when I listened :).

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I recorded some stuff on tapes years ago (all lost to posterity).

My first song posted anywhere was this one (I think).

God, the recording is bad.. as is the performance!! Mind you, I don't hate the lyric or the idea.. I should redo it!

Solstice

We stayed awake all night to watch the sparking of the day,

Saw darkness softly fading into lighter shades of grey.

Stonehenge stood before us as the first touch of the sun

Eased the chill and whispered that our new lives had begun.

And even though I was only seventeen,

Some magic in the solstice seemed to wash my spirit clean,

And every breath I took I was breathing life anew.

There was magic in that solstice as the sun was breaking through.

Our backs were to the embers. We were facing the unknown.

We may have been together, but we faced it all alone.

Struck dumb, we watched the sun disperse the mist across the plain

And swore our lives would never, ever be the same again.

And even though we were only seventeen,

And thought we’d shared a vision that the ancients must have seen,

A panoply of futures came streaming from the blue,

With magic in the choices and the chances to renew.

When life is not worth living

And I’m prompted to complain,

When I feel my spirit

Can no longer take the strain,

When I can’t see the sun because

I’m blinded by the rain,

That solstice seems to find me

It reaches out to find me

It reaches out to find me

And I’m seventeen

Again.

I was changed forever more than thirty years ago.

I never lost the wonder of the boy of who stood alone,

Enraptured by a sunrise and the beauty of the stones.

There’s magic in each sunrise and it feels like coming home.

When life is not worth living

And I’m prompted to complain,

When I feel my spirit

Can no longer take the strain,

When I can’t see the sun because

I’m blinded by the rain,

It reaches out to find me

It reaches out to find me

It reaches out to find me

And I’m seventeen

Again.

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Gotta say Al, that's a pretty good song you got there. I hope you work it over again, I hear some really cool things that could come of that!

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A month ago I just out-of-the-blue started coming up with these odd rhythmic, rhyming thoughts and wrote them down and they sounded like song words. Now I can't seem to stop. This is one of the first ones:

I need a hypnotist

to help me forget about the things I miss

and all the fun that I'll never have.

The future's gonna be just like the present

Won't be great but it won't be too unpleasant

and soon I'm gonna be too old to care.

This is the song of the misanthrope

I wanna sit at home and smoke my dope

close the curtains and give up hope

in the flicker of the teevee in my underwear.

I need a hypnotist

to help me find that ignorant bliss

that comes with knowing that I'm never wrong.

I'm never bored safe and smug behind my door

Don't have any friends and I don't want any more

'cause people are nasty and selfish anyway.

This is the song...

...flicker of the teevee eatin my sour grapes.

This is one I started today:

I read in a magazine

that you hate the color green

so I slipped into my best,

tightest emerald green dress

and went to hear you sing.

(chorus)

I know you saw me, I know you saw me.

That's all I want--

to be in your mind,

because you're in mine

all the time, everywhere.

If we never meet, if we never speak,

I don't really care.

I want to be in your mind, be in your mind

all the time, everywhere.

I heard it somewhere

you hate girls with short hair

so i lopped off my mane

it caused me great pain

and went to hear you play.

(chorus)

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I have the first lyric I wrote floating around somewhere, it's called "Don't Let Angels Fall", I know when I look back at it, I can remember the moment I was writing it...on the bus coming home from drum lessons downtown and am still pretty impressed with myself as it's quite good for a first lyric. I have many since then that aren't very good :lol:

The earliest song I've recorded that I've kept around is this one...

Mean It Like You Say It

The rest are long since deleted either from Soundclick or when I formatted my digital recorder out of frustration. Or have been lost since moving from my mom's house.

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The first rhymes I wrote as a lad of 7 or 8 years were in German and they were poems inspirated by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe and Friedrich Schiller... Sometimes when I read them I am surprised how little my emotions have changed from then until now and how much I see also there what is still topical for me today... I started writing lyrics much later and now I prefer writing lyrics, once because of their "living element" (= the music) and 2nd because one can reach much more people and touch them emotionally in that way... in fact, I cannot remember any more what was the first piece I ever wrote

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The first song I recorded was, I believe, this instrumental I wrote:

@FunkDaddy/Mark: I like the phrase "Mean it like you say it" a lot.

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The first song I ever wrote was when I was a little girl of about 8 years old. It was called 'I Want to go Somewhere'. The lyrics made no sense whatsoever eg. 'Where the kangaroo knows just what to do...from the mountains to the deep blue sea sea sea'. I think I was influenced by Judy Garland's 'Somewhere over the rainbow' at the time. I had a few other songs in my songbook about teachers and bears, but stopped writing altogether until my mid twenties, when the break-up of a very turbulent relationship seemed to trigger an outpouring of songs. 'Hard Life' was the name of the first one. More of an anti-love song.

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So I'm not the only one who finds songs come more naturally when depressed?

This explains why I haven't actually written any new songs recently.

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For sure! Any time I write a happy song, it sounds insincere and cheesy. I don't really do happy I'm afraid! Angry and depressed is more my thing.lol.

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I don't really do happy I'm afraid! Angry and depressed is more my thing.lol.

I couldn't help but notice, this probably explains all your interests. :lol:

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Mine is called Lonely Night. It was the first full song i wrote and also the first one I recorded. I had the chord progression forever but couldn't come with the lyrics. I somehow came up with the first 2 lines late one night and then turned into a story. It's a happy little tune!! its about a guy who is so low and fed up with the world he's murdered his wife before killing himself as he thinks there's got to be a better life after this one!!

The recording is poor, it started out as a rehearsal with the band - but i've then added overdubs and backwards guitar and stuff. I still like the song and there's something about the feel of it i'm not sure i'll ever be able to recreate. So for all it's shortcomings i still like it.

it's the 7th song in the player from this link

http://www.blindcommissioner.net/home.cfm

here's the lyric

As the rain falls down and soaks my skin

Another brandy, please cleanse my sin

As I walk away from the scene

Remembering you

You don’t remember me

All those things we never had

All those times when we were sad

Chorus

Take my body, take my soul

So low, I’ve never felt so low

Middle

It’s over now and you are gone

Another place

It’s time to move on

I’ll be with you soon as the rope gets tight

I don’t want to have a lonely night

Darkness approaches and the rain ends

Remembering family, remembering friends

Chorus

Together again in another world

With whatever that entails

keep writing

andy

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I don't really do happy I'm afraid! Angry and depressed is more my thing.lol.

I couldn't help but notice, this probably explains all your interests. :lol:

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You may be on to something there...

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The first song I wrote was called 'At the Zoo' when I was 3. My dad set up a tape recorder and told me to make

up a song. It went:

There are bears at the zooooooooo,

There are giraffes at the zooooooo,

There are....uummm...tigers at the zoooooooo,

And it went on for a while like that until I ran out of animals that I knew. I'm sure my parents needed an asprin that night.

I listened to the tape a few years ago - too funny.

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That's hilarious! And awfully cute...

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OK, I'm willing to participate... kinda.

I never recorded this "song". I don't recall the verses, although the melody for the chorus is still clear in my head. I don't think it was the first song I ever wrote, but it was almost definitely the worst song I ever wrote. Here are the lyrics for the chorus:

Happy everyday to you

and if you're ever feeling blue

just remember that I love you

Happy everyday to you.

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OMG, Simon. You probably wrote it back in the early 70's - inspired by someone like Bobby Sherman or the Turtles.

This wasn't my first lyric (Long gone and forgotten) but it was definitely written in the first couple of months that followed. It came to me while dozing off one night and kept me up until I finished it. It's a silly little thing but I must admit, it's the first thing I'd written, up to that point, that I actually liked.

Ride the Pony

When I was just a little girl

I loved my pony best

I'd ride my pony all day long

Never giving it a rest

Mama would always nag me

Stop riding that pony 'round

Said “Girl, you're gonna ride that pony

Ride it right into the ground”

Jonie, don't ride that pony

Jonie, don't ride so fast

When you got yourself a good thing

You gotta make it last

I was no more than seventeen

Still pretty lean and green

When I caught my parents doing

Well, you know what I mean

Mama was riding Daddy

Daddy was holding tight

And I could see poor Daddy

Wouldn't make it through the night

Honey, come ride your pony

Honey, don't ride so fast

When you got yourself a good thing

You gotta make it last

Now and then I'm all grown up

I get what life's about

And every time I get the chance

I let it all hang out

I get myself a stallion

To keep me satisfied

And when I mount he shows how much

He loves to watch me ride

Jonie, come ride your pony

Jonie, don't ride too fast

When you got yourself a good thing

You gotta make it last

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One summer when I was a kid, there was a bird living in our neighbourhood that couldn't fly. The bird didn't have a tail, so it just flopped and fluttered around. We tried to catch it, but never could. I imagine that a cat got the tail in the first place, and then another cat probably finished him off, but in the meantime I named him "Bird Nail" so that I could write and sing this little ditty:

"Bird Nail, the bird with (pause) no tail!"

Neal

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OMG, Simon. You probably wrote it back in the early 70's - inspired by someone like Bobby Sherman or the Turtles.

This wasn't my first lyric (Long gone and forgotten) but it was definitely written in the first couple of months that followed. It came to me while dozing off one night and kept me up until I finished it. It's a silly little thing but I must admit, it's the first thing I'd written, up to that point, that I actually liked.

Ride the Pony

When I was just a little girl

I loved my pony best

I'd ride my pony all day long

Never giving it a rest

Mama would always nag me

Stop riding that pony 'round

Said “Girl, you're gonna ride that pony

Ride it right into the ground”

Jonie, don't ride that pony

Jonie, don't ride so fast

When you got yourself a good thing

You gotta make it last

I was no more than seventeen

Still pretty lean and green

When I caught my parents doing

Well, you know what I mean

Mama was riding Daddy

Daddy was holding tight

And I could see poor Daddy

Wouldn't make it through the night

Honey, come ride your pony

Honey, don't ride so fast

When you got yourself a good thing

You gotta make it last

Now and then I'm all grown up

I get what life's about

And every time I get the chance

I let it all hang out

I get myself a stallion

To keep me satisfied

And when I mount he shows how much

He loves to watch me ride

Jonie, come ride your pony

Jonie, don't ride too fast

When you got yourself a good thing

You gotta make it last

I can’t say how many times I’ve heard songwriting is not something you’re born with, it’s learned and has to be developed. Well if this is your first lyric, I’m questioning that! You seem to have been born with it. Just an observation. B)

Dottie

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Thank you, Dottie, but like I mentioned, it wasn't exactly my first lyric (maybe my 9th or 10th) and it was one of those lyrics that came through my consciousness complete with a melody. I didn't have a whole lot to do with it.

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This was my first lyric - which, not surprisingly, coincided with my first heartbreak when I was but a lad of 16, 26 years ago.

Away From Me

Maybe I brought it upon myself

Or it was just a long time coming

Should I go out and try to catch her

Or should I just let her keep on running

All that I had hoped for vanished

From my crazy world of dreams

Maybe I thought I should change her

As absurd as that now seems

(chorus)

And away from me she's going

She ain't ever coming back

We made a lifelong deal

Now she wants to break the pact

I think of all the plans we made

And how they just seemed to fall apart

And now there's not a chance for them

But they'll always be in my heart

She said it's for the best of us

But I can't believe it's true

Though the longer we stayed together

The more the cancer grew

(chorus)

Maybe someday I'll find the answers

But right now the answers aren't clear

And though I might have willed all this

It's still something that I feared

(chorus)

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I wrote poetry as a kid, but it didn’t occur to me to try to write songs until much later. My first song was an embarrassingly earnest and uplifting folky thing called “The Spark Within” (oh, dear). Song number two came about a week later, and after all these years I still like it. I’m working on a website for my music, and this one will be there.

LATTER DAYS OF SPRING

In the still of early morning in the Latter Days of Spring,

When the sky was deep as water and the flowers seemed to sing,

She felt the season's promise of golden summer light,

Of days of ripened sweetness, of caresses in the night.

And as she dreamed of summer and the fullness it would bring,

She danced with girlish pleasure in the Latter Days of Spring.

But when the summer sun came,it burned away her heart.

And when the summer storms came, they blew her dreams apart.

She only hoped for ending her season in the sun.

For drier days and cooler nights, for summer to be done.

And when she left her summer, no comfort could she bring.

She thought with bittersweetness of the Latter Days of Spring.

Then all at once the autumn sky became a water blue

As in his voice she heard the song of spring begin anew.

Now in his arms she dances in that distant early morn.

Though every season passes, the spring can be reborn

Though autumn's winds are blowing and soon must winter bring,

With his love she still is dancing in the Latter Days of Spring.

Yes, it's always early morning in the Latter Days of Spring.

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scubed,

I confess to liking folky things. The more earnest and uplifting, the better. This was your first lyric? Wow. Some lovely phrasing that showcases your poetic roots. You seem to have had no problem making the transition from poetry to lyricwriting if this piece is any indicator.

the sky was deep as water

Ahhh.

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Joni, you're very kind. As I said, this is actually lyric # 2 - the first one will not see the light of day even on the friendly confines of Muse's Muse. :)

I felt pretty good about my sophomore songwriting effort until I found out that Ralph McTell's third song was "Streets of London."

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Song number two came about a week later, and after all these years I still like it.

And I can see why! That's seriously good - definitely a keeper! :)

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I am still writing it :D

The first first song I wrote was for a variety performance that I had to perform in a few years ago at a local theatre. From memory the lyrics went something like

I go to work,

to pay the bills

He thinks I'm smart

but he hasn't seen my skills

Oh I can cook,

but I cannot type

I have to find the keys

before I .....I strike

Oh I am stressed,

so much to do

The networks down

and my paypals overdue

If I don't check this basket out

from the Tesco's site

I'll miss the 2 for 1

on the brussel sprouts

All this email,

selling this and that

I don't need a diet pill

do I look fat

What's this now,

it's flashing red at me

I've won the jackpot prize

on the national lottery

It's 10 past nine

Time for a break

I'll be back in 5

I've been up since 8

There was a horrible dance and an awful jazzy leotard costume costume thing that went with it too.... so embarrasing lol. Never again :D

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Hey, nice thread idea... just so happens i stumbled upon the first poem i think i ever wrote. About the girl i had a crush on in high school. I can still remember the exact first moment i ever saw her, our freshman year, as if it was yesterday (cliche)... and i wrote this about her then.

perhaps a little cheesy, like you might expect from a teenage boy... i seemed to be experimenting with vowels... sort of an assonance? This one is so old, i don't even have an electronic copy of it. At 21 words - not only my first but my shortest... i was much less verbose back then...

(BTW, second poem i ever wrote is Nightmares over on the Artists' Cafe... rough, but kind of neat to read after so many years... wrote it after watching the post-Rodney King riots on the news and wondering what the heck was happening to everyone...)

A Muse

by Gordon Parish

I lost my voice

when silky pink petals

glistened

against her milky skin

moistened

by the waters

springing from her soul

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It was 1960, and I was eight. The melody on this one practically wrote itself!

God bless John Kennedy

Man that I love

Stand beside him

And guide him

Through the night with the lights from above.

From the mountains

To the prairie

To the oceans

Every state

God bless John Kennedy

My candidate

God bless John Kennedy

My candidate

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It was 1960, and I was eight. The melody on this one practically wrote itself!

Right up there with the original, Joan. :lol:

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great idea for a thread! Just dusted off the old print outs, found some lyrics that i posted on the original muse (spotted some familiar names too!)

I am thoroughly ashamed of 16 year old me for posting some of these and I apologise to anyone who had to find something positive to say about them - in fact Im not gonna post any of the shameful ones again apart from this chorus:

This is a song about meaning

this is a song about words

this is a song about feelings

this song is more than words

The meaning is in the words

the words are on the page

cos if your feeling the feeling you're feeling inside

open up let love be your guide.

Cheesy as hell and very shocking!

I did find the first song I remember finishing:

Sarah Lane (life aint ordinary)

Love is a funny game for sarah lane

shes gone insane tonight

shes copped off with every guy in school

college too, yeah

They think shes a whore but shes just an ordinary girl

tonight

Rooms spinning round and round

shes hit the ground yeah

she wont wake up till 7 oclock tonight

Its only 1AM and shes on the floor like an ordinary girl

tonight.

And whether its in life or love

Sarah dont have the brains to get above

shes got to get away from her dreary days tonight

Life aint ordinary at all

you've got to keep on going if you fall

cos tonight or any other day

aint ordinary yeah

cos life aint ordinary for anyone at all

She listens to music on her own

shes all alone tonight

she walks into the busy town lost not found yeah

and she sits in the corner on her own

like an ordinary girl

tonight

aint i think its true to say

that sarah's life has gone astray

shes left in the hole of her dreary days tonight

Life aint ordinary at all

you've got to keep on going if you fall

cos tonight or any other day

aint ordinary yeah

cos life aint ordinary for anyone at all

Love was not a game for sarah lane

she went insane tonight

she took her life on the college roof yeah

and now they all know that she was no ordianry girl at all

Life aint ordinary at all

you've got to keep on going if you fall

cos tonight or any other day

aint ordinary yeah

cos life aint ordinary for anyone at all

at all, at all, at all

life aint ordinary for anyone at all

at all, at all, at all

life aint ordinary for anyone at all

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Oh you mean the first song you ever plagiarized :blink: , which happened to be the first song I ever tried to write. :o

This is a story that needs a little background.

I started my musical career at the age of 10 playing trumpet in the school orchestra.

That was short lived as my technique for spitting into the mouthpiece :ph34r: would hurt my jaw after only a half hour of playing.

Coming from an Italian family, my uncle had an extra accordion laying around so I took it up.

That eventually grew into playing a Cordovox (poor man’s organ) since we couldn’t afford a B3 ^_^ which I played right through high school.

I was lucky to have grown up in the suburbs of NYC and also lucky enough to have witnessed a recording session at the then famous Waldorf Astoria studios or RCA Victor in 1963.

The band that was playing that session was called The Three Suns and I still have the LP they were working on called “A Swingin’ Thing”..

I remember to this day listening to the sweet sounds of a B3 organ playing Sweet Georgia Brown.

And I also remember sending a letter to the arranger of the project, Roy Glover, who was nice enough to reply thanking me for the kind words.

The gentleman that invited me to the session was also kind enough to take my first song that I had written and give it to Morty Nevins, the accordion player for The Three Suns. :huh:

It turned out that the song that I had written sounded way to much like a song that made the Suns famous, called “Twilight Time”. :ph34r:

Since I was just a kid, they were very polite in explaining that my song was a bit to close to sounding like their song.

But I did go on to write another song a year later (around 1965), of which I still have my manuscript (I was so neat in those days. Nothing like my chicken scratch from today <_< ).

This song’s intro also resembles one from another group that I enjoyed listening to back then “Ferry Cross the Mercy” by Gerry and the Pacemakers.

While the chords in the intro are exactly the same, thankfully the melody did take it in a different direction.

Here is a simple bass keyboard vocal that I was able to record today so that you can decide for yourselves if song #2 is also a reason to call the cops. :o:P

As I Walk Alone

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Hey there........my first recording is something I did only a couple of years ago called, "You're Still With Me" Hearing my music for the first time thru a head set was mind blowing.....and still is!! http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10260573

However, some 100 songs earlier, I wrote my first song while in High school called, "Always On My Mind" I am still partial to this song, as it remained my Mom's favorite.

“ALWAYS ON MY MIND”

By Tom Tognaci

I found a letter on my bed

I read it thru and what it said

Would break the heart of any man

If she’d only understand…

… That the other girls

Didn’t mean so much

The way we had it

The way we touched

I never realized any wrong

But now I do now that she’s gone

But she knows that I do love her

And I’m always thinking of her

Why did she leave me behind?

With her picture in my hand

Thinking back trying to understand

I love her so; she’s always on my mind

Well, I tried to get in touch with her

But when I did she had no words

To explain a reason why she left me

Just left the note that left me empty

But she knows that I do love her

And I’m always thinking of her

Why did she leave me behind?

With her picture in my hand

Thinking back trying to understand

I love her so; she’s always on my mind

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I don't really write songs. They write me.

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I've told this story before.

The first song I wrote was called Changes, and I co-wrote it with a friend when I was 15. We had a country duo and the song was heavily influenced my Merle Haggard. The melody is nice, but the lyric is really, really bad....

Sitting, thinkin' 'bout you all the time

Wishing I could get you off my mind

But your memories continue to linger on

Like the words to an old familiar song.

And the song started with "I Love you"

The chorus started when our love grew

The second verse started when you made me cry

And the song ended when our love died

When I met you, I knew you were for me

And a love so strong was bound to be

And as sure as the moon comes out at night

There grew a love that was so right

But changes in you caused changes in me

And the end of our love was bound to be

Now your memories continue to linger on

Like the words to this old familiar song.

And the song started with "I Love you"

The chorus started when our love grew

The second verse started when you made me cry

And the song ended when our love died

Now here's the kicker. A year after we wrote this, we auditioned for a television show. It was called Tim Daniel's Easy Country show, broadcast by Global Television out of Toronto. We auditioned with this song, and got selected for the show. And that's how I ended up performing the very first song I ever wrote -- as bad as it was -- on a national television show, while I was still in High School.

My musical career was all downhill from there.

Neal

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I wrote "Serenade of the Frog" on the mandolin, in the key of G, I think. It is the most awful song ever written. Interestingly, my chorus is almost note for note the chorus to Tommy Roe's "Sweet Pea". Since I wrote my song before Tommy's song was recorded and I am sure that Tommy never heard it, I guess it is an example of bad minds thinking alike.

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What an interesting thread. :D

I wrote my first lyric when I was ten years old. The words I made up were to part of Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1. (I know, I know. I was a weird kid. :P)

The words were:

I'll be loving you eternally

With a love that's true eternally

We will smile and never will we wear a frown

We will look up and ne'er fall down

There will come a time

When all is peace

And a time when all

The fighting cease....

(Don't recall the rest)

Amazing that I remember those lines after all this time. Probably because they're so cringeworthy. :rolleyes:

I still don't know to play an instrument, and rely on fine (and living) composers for the music magic. :)

I hope, though, that the calibre of the lyrics has improved. ;)

Donna

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The first MUSIC I ever wrote was an irritating tune I figured out how to play on a Conn Chord Organ when I was 7 or so.

The first song I ever wrote, I was around 12 and had been playing guitar for a couple years... it was some kind of folkie "rambling man who has seen a lot of hard times" thing. Oddly, I can't recall a word of it, except I know it mentioned some city names, but I could probably pick up a guitar right now and play the chords with only a couple of stumbles. To my perpetual shame, I recorded it on my Dad's Compact Cassette machine, and he tells me he still has that tape. Thank Bog and All His Holy Angels nobody I know has a cassette player anymore!!

The second song was a love ballad for a girl I knew, or wanted to know. Outrageously overblown romanticism, and I recall that that it probably sounded a lot like "Please Come To Boston." (*shudder*)

After that, I started writing rocking' "good lovin' gone bad" songs, then wrote some pretty clever stuff while I was on the road, playing solo, and then stopped for a LONG time. :)

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Despite my better judgement, Im gonna play...

I had to hit the cassettes...yeah thats right cassettes, those things between 8tracks and cd's??? and i converted to mp3.

http://soundcloud.com/charlieeschbach/burning-the-book

This is the first recording I had of a song called "Burning the Book". It was recorded in the 80's, so it comes complete with big room reverb, tape hiss and bad lyrics!!! LOL, But this is all in fun right. I'd love for a crit on this one!! maybe I should post it there... :huh:

Its amazing to see where I came from and where I am at now and how I dont settle for lyrics anymore.

Great thread...

by the way, if anyone listens to it thank you and sorry

Porcupine

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I wrote this a few years ago when I was seventeen, before i really had any aspiration to write songs as a hobby, it just came in my head with a melody so i wrote it down. didnt really start writing til the year after.

here is my unfinished, untitled first creation.

In a deep blue world

With starless skies above

And pretty coral reefs

Symbolizing love

There is an ugly truth

Waiting to be told

It’s dog eat dog

Their lives are all they hold

And to keep their lives

It becomes their job

And in the fields of boredom

That’s where they lay their sod

By the coral reefs

The children play all day

As they grow apart

Problems slowly weigh

With beauty close

To everybody’s eyes

They see the ugliness

In perfect skies

it gives me headaches to read this... i was in a bad place, okay? actually the only thing i really like about this song is the melody i have in my head for it, pretty haunting

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I wrote this back in the seventies

If you think that your no good

Your no good

If you think that your great

Then your great

It's whatever you think

You can be

You can be just that

someday

If you think your a flop

And a dropout

And the world is

passing you by

You've got to get out

And get with it

You can't sit at home

and just cry

All you need

is the right motivation

To set the world

On it's toes

you've got to get out

and get with it

where that will lead

Nobody knows

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Wow, i actually did write the text to a real song! (not here unfortunately :blink: )

this was result of my ease-dropping on two carpenters :ph34r:

Fair Weather Friends

v1:

Look at you, it's been a while

Grew up from a child

In you, I see your mother's eyes

Mysterious and wild

v2:

I hear she's doing well

Got herself a brand-new life

She followed me through the gates of hell

To end up someone’s wife

v3:

Maybe this is God’s revenge

For leaving you behind

But I was living, on the fringe

A blurr now, in my mind

ch:

Farewell is easy, for

Fair weather friends

Sunshine companions they

hide when the rain begins

Put no faith in.....

Fair weather friends

short solo (G-Am-C-G)

v4:

I’m begging you’re forgiveness

Like many times before

I’m seeing the abyss now, and I

know there’s nothing more

ch:

Love life surround yourself

With people you depend

Never let yourself become

A fair weather friend

bridge:

1.

Do not despair for me

I’ve done this to myself...you see

Many people

tried to help me

2.

I’m not prepared for what will come

On that I won’t pretend

My sunshine

I'm your

Fair weather friend

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My first song/poem was called tree of life, i was 14 and it was the first piece i ever wrote. It's pretty much the exact same way it was the day i wrote it, i never revised it at all. I love it still to this day cause after this i wrote a lot of **** honestly haha and by that i mean BAD poems and songs. Like cheesy 80's pop rock bad. I see all the growth ive made and i think its great to go back and id love to hear your opinions!

We feed off the tree of life,

we are the roots that are deeply sewn,

branch off to a path our own.

seeds of life,

that learn to breed hate,

an evil we naturally create,

serenity dissapates.

This flower that beautifully matures is but an hopefull illusion,

at a glance seemingly pure,

visual lies confirm this as the cure,

to our problems long endured.

consumed only then reveals itself,

most potent poison.

Anger abundant becomes nourishment for all of us starved of love,

the scarcity of kindness and care,

any lie said as long as profit is there.

what happens,happens,

no matter the cost we later pay,

no matter what we lost along the way,

sky green,rivers run black,animals extinct,no habitat

We've harmed the tree,

tainted seeds grow into weeds,

innocence taken,

creator corrupted.

burn,burn,burn to ashes that decorate this dead world,

no remorse,no regrets,

an emotion that cannot be expressed,

for none we possess,

expressionless in the face of the horrendous crime we have committed,

to the darkest evil we have submitted.

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I'm a lyricist and the first complete lyric I ever wrote was a blues entitled "Can't Understand Why".

"Can't Understand Why"

I got a woman

and she ain't right by me

I got a woman

and she ain't right by me

while I'm out workin' hard all day

my baby loves to play

I can't understand why

she treats me this way

she drive a Cadillac

she wears a pinky diamond ring

she drive a Cadillac

and wears a pinky diamond ring

to buy these things I work overtime

I'd give the girl my last dime

I can't understand why

she treats me unkind

this heartache inside me

is rumbling like thunder

I've got to do something

for she takes me under

I'm alright now

I done got me somebody new

I'm alright now

I done got me somebody new

I've been squeezing and kissing

never knew what I was missing

hope my ex- can't understand why

I ain't back from fishing

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The first song I ever wrote was written on a napkin while I took a break from bussing tables. Maybe I should write a song about writing my first song? :P

Dave

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I have a cassette of my first ten songs. I recorded it in 2001, and haven't listened to it since. I don't know if I want to.

I still play five of the songs. I don't remember which was the first, but here's one of them. Larry

One Last Kiss

(Verse)

Baby, don't hurt me.

No, don't desert me.

Baby, just hold me.

I can't believe what you just told me.

(Chorus)

I want you. I need you.

I can't live without your love.

But now you tell me your leavin' for good.

(Verse)

Baby, just kiss me,

And tell me that you'll miss me.

You say that you don't want me.

Those words will always haunt me.

(Chorus)

I want you. I need you.

I can't live without your love.

But now you tell me your leavin' for good.

(Verse)

You broke my heart into so many pieces,

It'll never be the same again.

Baby, give me one last kiss,

And always remember this.

(Chorus)

I want you. I need you.

I can't live without your love.

But now you tell me your leavin' for good.

(Outro)

You took my heart.

You took my soul.

You took it all, baby.

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I was 12 years old when I jotted this down in my notebook after watching an obnoxious boy tease a girl with mild cerebral palsy during school recess. She calmly waited until he was done with his idiotic spiel, and responded with "I'm going to kick your ass".

I had to recreate this because I destroyed that piece of notebook paper I wrote it on out of fear of getting in trouble if a teacher or my parents were to discover it. The cheesy tune still rings in my head.

"That Girl's Got Class"

-----------------------

That girl with CP's got class

She's gonna kick your ass

You bullies got nerve,

but you'll get whatcha deserve

a lesson from a girl with class.

We're gonna laugh when she kicks your ass.

Ha, haha, ha, we're gonna laugh

Ha, haha, ha, we're gonna laugh

when she kicks your ass.

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Skin on fire, heart sapphire

Desire, smoke me in your dire

'Cause you make me smile

Yeah, you make me smile

Sex and aggression

Tell me your obsessions

What really makes you strong?

Yeah, what really makes you strong?

Can we get along? Come along, come along

Yeah, you can suck my blood

You can still enjoy the drugs

You can do the things you love

'Cause you're a capital dog

Yeah, you're a vampire

Make me insane, play those games

If my heart starts to rain, I won't be ashamed (I'm restrained)

'Cause you make me smile

Yeah, you make me smile

Feelings and emotions

Tell me your obsessions

What really makes you weak?

Or, is that ancient Greek? (God, you're such a freak!)

Yeah, you can suck my blood

You can still enjoy the drugs

You can do the things you love

'Cause you're a capital dog

Yeah, you're a vampire

Don't you worry, don't say sorry

Throw me to the wolves, have them choking on my pulse

Drop the damn facade, 'cause hell is empty anyway

Yeah, you can suck my blood

You can still enjoy the drugs

You can do the things you love

'Cause you're a capital dog

Yeah, you're a vampire

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I recorded some stuff on tapes years ago (all lost to posterity).

My first song posted anywhere was this one (I think).

God, the recording is bad.. as is the performance!! Mind you, I don't hate the lyric or the idea.. I should redo it!

Solstice

We stayed awake all night to watch the sparking of the day,

Saw darkness softly fading into lighter shades of grey.

Stonehenge stood before us as the first touch of the sun

Eased the chill and whispered that our new lives had begun.

And even though I was only seventeen,

Some magic in the solstice seemed to wash my spirit clean,

And every breath I took I was breathing life anew.

There was magic in that solstice as the sun was breaking through.

Our backs were to the embers. We were facing the unknown.

We may have been together, but we faced it all alone.

Struck dumb, we watched the sun disperse the mist across the plain

And swore our lives would never, ever be the same again.

And even though we were only seventeen,

And thought we’d shared a vision that the ancients must have seen,

A panoply of futures came streaming from the blue,

With magic in the choices and the chances to renew.

When life is not worth living

And I’m prompted to complain,

When I feel my spirit

Can no longer take the strain,

When I can’t see the sun because

I’m blinded by the rain,

That solstice seems to find me

It reaches out to find me

It reaches out to find me

And I’m seventeen

Again.

I was changed forever more than thirty years ago.

I never lost the wonder of the boy of who stood alone,

Enraptured by a sunrise and the beauty of the stones.

There’s magic in each sunrise and it feels like coming home.

When life is not worth living

And I’m prompted to complain,

When I feel my spirit

Can no longer take the strain,

When I can’t see the sun because

I’m blinded by the rain,

It reaches out to find me

It reaches out to find me

It reaches out to find me

And I’m seventeen

Again.

Wow, now THIS is sheer brilliance in a bottle, lyrically. I can't listen to the recording this very moment, but the lyric is incredible. If there's an updated version of the demo I would love to listen to it, Alistair. If not, I think you oughta repost this in the Artists Cafe to show it off. THIS is one of those works that SHOULD be shown off. Again, wow...

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