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Treating people in a positive manner

Recognizing who they are and what they do

Admiration for one's abilities

Respect is something I have for you

 

 

Next Topic:  Crows

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Crows! Caw (pun) they can be so loud

They flock together in a murderous crowd

Looking down from branches high

Waiting, watching with thier murderous eye

Beware the crow it's the witches friend

if you see one following you prepare for your end

 

Next topic

Tropical storm

 

 

 

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Winds howl

Trees sway

Muggy air

Rain today

The tropical storm

Swept in with force

Surprising some

Unaware of its course

 

Next Topic:  The Moon

 

 

 

 

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The Moon you see
As white as snow
Is the back of me
Where strong winds blow
That fills the air
With quaint perfume
From derriere
One sonic boom


Next Topic: Thar She Blows

 

=Bob=

 

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Thar she blows

The captain cried

As ole Moby breached

Get the harpoons men

We will have her today

But ole Moby had a lesson to teach

 

next topic 

One eyed Pete!

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Ok slack bladders I will do this one hahaha

 

One eyed Pete was a bad dude

He cursed a lot and was quite crude

But inside he had a heart of gold

Helped old ladies across the road

Not much good was said about Pete

Only that he was not one to meet

He had no friends which was pretty sad

You see inside Pete wasn't all that bad

All he ever wanted was to be loved

All he ever got was snubbed

So my friends don't judge Until you know

The man inside with lots of love to show

 

Next topic

Rusty spoons

 

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I found a pair of rusty spoons

A' buried 'neath the clay

They're said to be old Abby's

A spooner in her heyday

She could play all the bluegrass tunes

She'd play the tunes of Broadway

Could even spoon a rhumba

But she never mastered reggae

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOXB7348RPk

 

Next topic:

Nose hairs

 

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They stick out above my upper lip
And make me look like a walrus
They act like they’re a scrubber strip
So with every bite I’m cautious
They sometimes cause an awful itch
Or tickle my nose and make me twitch
I’d cut them but they’re hard as bricks
‘Cos mom dipped my Nose Hairs in the River Styx


Next Topic: Howling Sky

 

=Bob=

 

 

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See that great big round moon over there yonder

It stirs the senses, almost makes me cry

That vault of heaven's got a name my darlin'

Around these parts it's called a Howling Sky

 

Next topic:

Win one for the Gipper

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If there's just one thing that I could wish for
It wouldn't be diamonds or pearls
And though you and me might come to differ
I'd be lost without you in my world
And when I'm dying and ready to go
With my last breath I'll whisper
Take me up into that golden glow
And then Win one for the Gipper

 

Next Topic: Hope is Not a Plan

 

=Bob=

 

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Hope is not a plan

My grandfather used to preach

Words I never felt

Until I began to teach 

I hoped for interested students

I hoped to facilitate them well

But their personal problems and the system stopped them

From learning things, oh what the hell

Yes, hope is not a plan

My grandfather used to preach

Now I must create a plan to exit

The institutions that are out of reach

 

Next Topic:    Give Me Someone Real!

 

 

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Give me someone real

Not made of plastic or wood

Give me someone real

That loves me as they should

I need to be loved

Like any other man

Give me someone real

That shows me they can

love me

 

next topic

No Point

 

 

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No point resisting temptation 

Since the food entree has arrived

No point in saying no

When your appetite's revived

 

Next Topic:  Piña Colada

 

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Pina Coladas are my favorite drinks

After a strong one, I give the girls winks

My wife she don't like that, she gives a mean look

She calls me a name, it's not "Short Order Kook"!

 

Next topic:  Um, no

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Um, no Short Order Kook

You can't go around 

Giving girls the look

There's no excuse to make a pass

The wife is watching you'd look funny

With her boot wedged up your ass 

 

ok slightly different but! 

 

Neaxt topic

If all brides are beautiful

Where do ugly wives come from?

 

 

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Come on guys or I will have to post! 

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Mr. Distraction, in my part of the world it was beddy beddy time...

 

I was taking a walk with my dear old man

And something was nagging me that I just couldn't stand

I had been thirty years happily married you see

And my wife started resembling an old manatee

"Looks aren't everything," I thought and I also felt

Ashamed of myself, I was loaded with guilt

I knew I could speak with my dad on the subject

He's a wise old sage, and he's clear and direct

So I swallowed my shame, and in a sort of confession

I took a deep breath and I asked him the question

"If all brides are beautiful where do ugly wives come from?"

He paused for a moment, then he clicked his tongue

"In the past you were both good looking kids, that is true.

But look in the mirror, you resemble a gnu.

You're lucky she gives you a kiss in the morning

And pretends you're still you, when she should be in mourning.

With age come the wrinkles of manatees and gnus

I thought you were smart, this shouldn't be news!"

 

Next topic:  Deep Fried Twinkies

 

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Deep fried twinkies

Are a delectable treat

But bad for the health

Even if every morsel is sweet

 

 

 

 

 

Next Topic:  Atlantis 

 

 

 

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5 hours ago, Short Order Kook said:

Mr. Distraction, in my part of the world it was beddy beddy time...

 

I was taking a walk with my dear old man

And something was nagging me that I just couldn't stand

I had been thirty years happily married you see

And my wife started resembling an old manatee

"Looks aren't everything," I thought and I also felt

Ashamed of myself, I was loaded with guilt

I knew I could speak with my dad on the subject

He's a wise old sage, and he's clear and direct

So I swallowed my shame, and in a sort of confession

I took a deep breath and I asked him the question

"If all brides are beautiful where do ugly wives come from?"

He paused for a moment, then he clicked his tongue

"In the past you were both good looking kids, that is true.

But look in the mirror, you resemble a gnu.

You're lucky she gives you a kiss in the morning

And pretends you're still you, when she should be in mourning.

With age come the wrinkles of manatees and gnus

I thought you were smart, this shouldn't be news!"

 

Next topic:  Deep Fried Twinkies

 

Great write haha, the quote I used you may know or not know him is from

Roy Chubby Brown haha! Rather crude n rude comic 

very well written leading in to the question👊

 

Bailey

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7 hours ago, spanishbuddha said:

Deep fried twinkies

Are a delectable treat

But bad for the health

Even if every morsel is sweet

 

 

 

 

 

Next Topic:  Atlantis 

 

 

 

Wheres the rest?

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Where's the rest?  Are you're referring to the other 4 lines regarding the twinkie I decided to edit?  Well, if you are I wasn't in the mood to include the words" shaped like a turd with a fluffy center of cream" in the write. At least not today. :D  I suppose I can try to recall it from there to re-edit. But, not sure that's what you're talking about.

 

If it's about Atlantis. Well. I realize it's sunken now if it even existed, so where's the rest.....Don't know. Maybe a mile or two under the ocean somewhere in the mid Atlantic.  :)   Shall I pick another subject? 

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Yep I meant the other lines haha

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Atlantis did it really exist?

Did I dream it or was I pissed?

i don't know to tell the truth

My mind is crazy and sometimes aloof 

I hope it did coz I've seen the show

Man from Atlantis don't ya know

This rhyme is way out of whack

No you buggers I'm not on crack

I'm just talking a load of crap

haha

 

Next topic

Grim Reaper

 

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The grim reaper is a peeper

A voyeur from a far

Who gets off when people die

Also called the check out czar 

 

 

Topic:  Scary Dreams

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Boy! Did I have a scary dream last night

I dreamt I was in a life and death fight

With Dolly Parton! boy she can hit

She took out a tooth with her left tit

I ducked n dived I bobbed n weaved

I could see in her face she was getting peeved

It went on round after round 

Until she finally knocked me to the ground

I said! Dolly please give me a break

I can't take no more titties to the face

She laughed and said you must be joking

I woke up after that coughing an choking 

I must admit it was a beautiful dream

I hope I didn't wake the neighbors with my scream

The moral of this rhyme I guess is this

Dont! I repeat don't piss off Dolly haha

 

Next topic

Dollies Rockets haha (Short Order Kook look up Roy and Dolly song) 

This should be interesting one I hope 😂

 

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Kim Jong Un wants to run with the crème de la crème

That's why he and his Dad they got ICBMs

He knows that nuke weaponry will extort deep pockets

What he doesn't know is we've got Dolly's rockets

Dolly's rockets are lethal, no they don't ever fail

It's like getting hit over the head with a blue whale

Don't believe me? This ain't no abstraction

If you don't believe me, ask Mr. Distraction

 

Well, I tried!  I had not heard of Roy Chubby Brown, he sounds like quite the character!

 

Next topic:  "Chubby" Brown and "Chubby" Checker

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1 hour ago, Short Order Kook said:

Kim Jong Un wants to run with the crème de la crème

That's why he and his Dad they got ICBMs

He knows that nuke weaponry will extort deep pockets

What he doesn't know is we've got Dolly's rockets

Dolly's rockets are lethal, no they don't ever fail

It's like getting hit over the head with a blue whale

Don't believe me? This ain't no abstraction

If you don't believe me, ask Mr. Distraction

 

Well, I tried!  I had not heard of Roy Chubby Brown, he sounds like quite the character!

 

Next topic:  "Chubby" Brown and "Chubby" Checker

Haha I will find a link for you! Dollies Rockets

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1 hour ago, Short Order Kook said:

Kim Jong Un wants to run with the crème de la crème

That's why he and his Dad they got ICBMs

He knows that nuke weaponry will extort deep pockets

What he doesn't know is we've got Dolly's rockets

Dolly's rockets are lethal, no they don't ever fail

It's like getting hit over the head with a blue whale

Don't believe me? This ain't no abstraction

If you don't believe me, ask Mr. Distraction

 

Well, I tried!  I had not heard of Roy Chubby Brown, he sounds like quite the character!

 

Next topic:  "Chubby" Brown and "Chubby" Checker

Here it is haha, a bit rude and I don't mean to break the rules of the site but please enjoy! 

 

Just have a laugh hahaha all in good fun guys! 

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Chubby Checker done the twist 

Chubby Brown couldn't do this

He's a porker it wouldn't look right 

Doing the twist in clothes so tight

Ones a comic the other a singer

A laugh is what one will bring ya

The other will make you dance 

Like a twat in a trance

But appreciate them both for what they do

Bring the joy and laughter to you

 

Sorry a bit of a crappy one but I tried haha

 

Next topic

Small marsupial's

 

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Small marsupials can bite! ouch!

They carry thier young in a pouch

I had a Gerbal he was called Micky

The bloody little bugger often bit me

Last seen running away from my cat

He was a bugger but he didn't deserve that

RIP Micky

 

Next topic

Grease monkey

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I hear the guy who rides a bike is kind of funky

A jack of all trades who's a quintessential grease monkey

He's got oil stains on his clothes

With a reputation to fix up cars like the pros

A natural mechanic,

He was born

Outside of working on cars

He enjoys watching kinky porn 

 

 

Next Topic:   Sexy Beast

 

 

 

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Oh! God I'm such a sexy beast 

If you saw me your eyes would feast

Upon this body so fit and strong

Liisten to me coz I'm not wrong

I workout most days of the week

Im not joking your knees would go weak

haha I'm just having some fun

If you saw me you'd probably run

 

Next topic

Working out

 

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Working out is fun to do

Walking, running, swimming too

It relaxes the heart, mind and soul

Keeping fit is the goal

 

 

Next Topic: :  Mountain Climbing

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Up n down we go

Through the deep deep snow

Bridging the cravass

slipping on our ass

the cold it is so numbing

as we go mountain climbing

 

next topic

Fishing

 

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Fishing!!!

Cast the line

Into the pond

Water ripples 

Fish have spawned

Patiently wait

Until you hook

A feisty catch

That tonight we'll cook

 

Next Topic:   Auto Shows

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I went to an auto show

Filled with cars and pretty girls

They had cars in all sorts of shapes

And from all around he world

But! And I must be honest

It was the girls that caught my eye

See I'm a hard core biker

And I was born to ride

 

Next topic

Bumping Uglies

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He was 400 pounds of jelly 

She was 300 pounds of flab

And when they got together in bed

A lot of beef was up for grabs

Couple of peas in a pod

The size of an SUV

They were two bumping uglies

A sight for all to see

 

Next Topic:  Chocolate Pizza

 

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Chocolate Pizza! Yuk!

you must be crazy as f

i wouldnt eat it

sounds like s

now get me a curry

make sure you hurry

 

next topic

buffy the vampire slayer

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Posted (edited)

Buffy the vampire slayer

Supernatural drama 

Where a girl chosen by fate

Battles forces that cause Sunnydale trauma 

With help from her friends, the Scooby gang

And a guiding watcher named Giles

The show was a favorite

Along with the X-files. 

 

 

Next Topic:  X-Files

 

Quick sidetrack have a look Mr. D  Looks delicious :P  -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgd0YfKqozg,  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYOCgKYaPD0

 

Chocolate Pizza! Below....... Yum!

 

Image result for chocolate pizza

 

In France, they serve this beauty which is absolutely delicious too.  A chocolate sandwich on French bread of course. Heehee

 

Image result for french chocolate sandwich

 

Anyway, I'm sorry. Now that an appetite is building.  Back to.................

 

Next Topic: The X-Files

Edited by spanishbuddha
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Xfiles! Fact or fiction?

Molder n Scully on a mission

Too save the world from Aliens

You never know they might be friends

Come from the stars to show us the way

To actually live in peace one day

yeah! Right!

 

Next topic

Blow up Dolls or sheep haha your choice! 😂

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Will leave the blow up dolls for you
Would rather visit a farm to pet the sheep
The intention for this one isn't up my alley
And really gives me the creeps

 

 

Next Topic:  The Way of the Peaceful Warrior
 

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Socrates said, "Now here's a trick...

More impressive than some gymnast's flip"

Then soothed his stomach with some tea...

Wise to what his body needs.

 

Next Topic: Lost at Sea

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I was lost at sea

Yeah the See of love

Nothing to look at

But the clouds above

Drifting, drifting aimlessly

Driven by the breeze

Waves of emotion licked my soul

Time just seemed to freeze

Then I landed upon a shore

I squeezed my toes in to the sand

I thought get over it boy

Your new destiny is at hand

 

Next topic

Isolation 

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Cut off, disconnected
There's a price when you're free
It can lead to isolation
Could be you, could be me

 

 

Next Topic:  Sunrise 
 

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As the world awakes

To a Sunrise full of hope

The rays shine down upon us

Giving us the will to cope

Soak them up please people

Let them bring you joy

Let the love shine through

Too every girl and boy

 

I added a pic of Sunrise from my deck🙂

 

Next topic

Old Guitar

 

 

IMG_0961.JPG

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I found an old Guitar 

In a secondhand shop

It looked so lonely

It needed a friend

So bought that guitar

Cleaned her up

Gave her a tune 

And away we go

Plays so sweet

Plays real fine

Now that guitar 

Has a friend 

Yeah she's mine

 

Next topic

Unanswered messages

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Unanswered messages sent by email

Make some wonder if they even got read

Maybe the recipient was struck by lightning

Hit by a car or in the worst case is dead

 

 

Next Topic:   Toys

 

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As kids we used to play with toys

There we're different ones for girls n boys

But in the end we all just played

Used our imagination everyday

I wish I could go back to those times

This ones is tricky I'm running out of rhymes

So SB let's see what ya got 

Go back to the times you thought you'd forgot

 

Next topic

Memories

 

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Memories locked deep

Are never forgotten

Whether they're good

Whether they're rotten

Dormant inside

Until something gets through

Reaching a channel

You never gave thought to

Could be a dog, could be a car

Maybe a girl, maybe a star

Rewinding the mind

Reflecting on things

Taken for granted

Until they grow wings

 

 

 

Next Topic:    Pain in the ass relatives 

 

 

 

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