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John Voorpostel

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John Voorpostel last won the day on July 13

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About John Voorpostel

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    Inspirational Muse

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  1. Shut Up and Let Me Gloat

    My apologies all for lack of response until now but had some issues that kept me away from here and will keep me away a bit longer.. My thanks to Tracy and Anna, Jim and Paul for your comments. Jim will definitely look more closely at your suggestions. I appreciate these fine tooth combs.
  2. Pandora's Box Is Empty

    Great promise...though it may be a far more powerful image (the empty box) if you concentrate on the most evil thing that could come out of it instead a bunch of things that came out...you can then concentrate on developing the notion of the empty box more... Not saying this is bad...it's just an alternative to consider...
  3. The Matador

    I'm with Paul in that this is pretty good as is. I also did want to see "Ole" as this is what we equate with bullfighting spectators, but it was not that important---and I actually liked the double baked
  4. Shut Up and Let Me Gloat

    Shut Up and Let Me Gloat © 2017 John Voorpostel Shut up and let me gloat Not every day I’m standing here Far too long since I been tasting Everybody’s fantasy Waiting’s not like aging fine wine Wore it like a stifling overcoat Finally threw it in the corner So please shut up and let me gloat My brain’s a dopamine whore And gloating feeds it more So that’s what I will savour like some ultra-fine Bordeaux Now shut up and let me gloat
  5. July Lyrics Competition

    Forgot to thank Fabkebab for hosting in my rush ---been busy in business for the past few weeks....So thank you Fabkebab
  6. July Lyrics Competition

    Great big congrats Paul on the double win...and Iggy for the place, Peko for the show.
  7. Talk Is Cheap

    Hey Paul Talk Is Cheap runs in undercurrents throughout the verses I think...and is we'll say... the diamond I'm pitching in The verses are all smaller talk is cheap stories, vapours in the air, and "promises are nothing more than whispers on the wind" which I thought too wordy as a title And I'm not afraid to open with something Hellen Reddy made famous. Glad she had a run wuth it. Gotta scoot....... am Woman hear me roar
  8. I Don't Like What I Learned This Year

    Hey Snarky. To get you to hear it would mean setting up my gear, recording and listening to what comes out, which, with a new song, is gonna be pretty rough..then mastering, then getting it transferred to my computer, where I transform the .wav into an mp3 where it's ready to go onto dropbox....so definitely doable but finding the time is at a premium But playing definitely helps develop the lyric. I posted changes tonight that reflect what people posted and what the music added. Thanks for coming back to this. I appreciate the interest
  9. I Don't Like What I Learned This Year

    Hey Steve, that spreading a blanket on a concrete sidewalk is a powerful picture. Steve Earle's Rich Man's War is a powerful song. Have you heard it? Great youtube with lyric . Just a sucker punch in the gut and it immediately became part of our little band's repertoire. As I connected Steve to Earle and the power and pictures of Rich Man's War and went to get the video link to let you see it..anyway time has passed and I'm on my third Steve earle song Great detour. Man Huge embedded video below. Should make it smaller. Anyway, thanks for your contributing thoughts here. Enjoy Steve Earle
  10. Talk Is Cheap

    Appreciate the visit and contribution Steve.
  11. Why Are We Here?

    Thanks for reading and trying Steve. This is on my rework list, so every idea helps.
  12. I Don't Like What I Learned This Year

    Yes Liam---great to see something simple and original that can be duplicated ---well by creative folks better than me Jeepers Paul, I only count 4 of them (ignored the rest) so I have to think you errr really don't like that kid Thanks for checking in
  13. I Don't Like What I Learned This Year

    No need to apologize for an honest assessment Liam. I expect you are not the only one who feels this way give the number of views vs comments....if I can even take that as a measure But I was inspited by Jack Johnson's latest "My Mind Is For Sale". http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/jack-johnson-busts-walls-in-anti-trump-my-mind-is-for-sale-w492140 After listening to it, I read the accompanying article, and he talks about things he did, that happened and he learned last year..... and riffed off of that. Thanks for checking it out
  14. We follow the old ways

    Wonder if "Following the old ways" may not be a bit more powerful. If the music needs "we follow". then never mind. Not sure about the chorus. You bring the nets in before you even cast them out, and head for "a safe port"--means any port in a storm---but the you are raiding the waves home. Then you start the second round of verses by fishing and thinking of home before you even talk of the storm So in general, I think this needs more cohesion one key idea--your hook I expect--- so you need to tie everything into "we follow\following the old ways"...fishing, what you do in the storm, dying etc It's the same now as it always was--tech may be different, but the way of life, the people, the places, the ocean--that is all the same. KOS
  15. Too Much Sugar

    Good morning (or whatever this is for you when you read this Now maybe I'm overthinking this, but things broke down for me with the college girl. Why were these girls too sweet? We know cereals are full of sugar, but college girls' conversations? And why is sweet bad in a girl? I know you are setting up that delicious pun, but I want to agree with you about those college girls and I can't. On the plus side, it does sing off the page, so that part is definitely working. So maybe if I heard it, I'd pull an Emily Litella