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John Voorpostel

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John Voorpostel last won the day on July 4

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About John Voorpostel

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    A Muse's Muse

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  1. John Voorpostel

    Needs a title.

    These kids of conversational pieces can be awesome and you've done a masterful job. My only recommendation is to get the fancy words out of their mouths..the ones that don't seem natural coming out of what I presume is a teenager. Like anomisity (anger), reminiscent (remind me)...interestingly enough, I don't mind Grandma using logographia '''kinda neat coming out of her and positions her as "smart AND wise" Sung, you may want to go back and listen to Father and Son by Cat Stevens...how the voice and music changes with the POV\narrator Cheers
  2. John Voorpostel

    The Miner's Lullaby

    I too got a real "old time" feel from this==like it was written some time in the past.. Of all things, this also has the structure of a Merle Travis song I was going to have you look at as another way to bring the travails of a miner to the forefront Sixteen Tons © Merle Travis Some people say a man is made outta mud A poor man's made outta muscle and blood Muscle and blood and skin and bones A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong You load sixteen tons, what do you get Another day older and deeper in debt Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go I owe my soul to the company store I was born one mornin' when the sun didn't shine I picked up my shovel and I walked to the mine I loaded sixteen tons of number nine coal And the straw boss said "Well, a-bless my soul" You load sixteen tons, what do you get Another day older and deeper in debt Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go I owe my soul to the company store I was born one mornin', it was drizzlin' rain Fightin' and trouble are my middle name I was raised in the canebrake by an ol' mama lion Cain't no-a high-toned woman make me walk the line You load sixteen tons, what do you get Another day older and deeper in debt Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go I owe my soul to the company store If you see me comin', better step aside A lotta men didn't, a lotta men died One fist of iron, the other of steel If the right one don't a-get you then the left one will You load sixteen tons, what do you get Another day older and deeper in debt Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go I owe my soul to the company store
  3. John Voorpostel

    You've got a banshee in you

    Wanted more of that banshee Kinda like what I see...short, simple...but that banshee reference is a cool hook that I think you need to pound home
  4. John Voorpostel

    Banana Republic

    Great story==Teeny change suggestion===money drives everything so=== Klaus can provide a young kid if you're keen Just cough up some cash and he's cool with your scene
  5. John Voorpostel

    Just a Little Bit

    Started to make changes==how's this? may end on another line but this flows better...watcha think? And I just introduced Freddy to personalize the ideas expressed here...basically, you don't need to be fake, swing for the fences etc...be happy with a little bit of something precious ....
  6. John Voorpostel

    Just a Little Bit

    Back to wet ink Just a Little Bit © 2018 John Voorpostel Borrowed prestige Swinging for the fences Thumbing up a ride Facing consequences It wouldn’t be the first time May even seem to be excessive And even though that’s half the fun I’d rather feel the blessing From that little bit A kiss with no obsession Just a little bit Moderately possessive Just a little bit A precious part of it Freddy had the lines Patter and expressions Said it’s all about the ride Just don’t get overzealous It wouldn’t be the first time Means it tends to get expensive So compared to deeper bottoms I would rather have the blessing Of that little bit A kiss with no obsession Just a little bit Moderately possessive Just a little bit A precious part of it Just a little bit A kiss with no obsession Just a little bit Moderately possessive Just a little bit A precious part of it
  7. John Voorpostel

    The Alchemy of You

    Thanks for checking out the change. Now I will probably start playing around some.. say dropping\moving V4 maybe and going into the bridge after V3 then moving into the second chorus...maybe V4 then and final chosus...dunno yet. The key is that 'the words" seem to work so thank you all again
  8. John Voorpostel

    The Alchemy of You

    Peko I think this deals with your point and thanks for calling that line out Thanks Paul and I guess you saw what I saw ..but I think it's stronger now
  9. John Voorpostel

    Sydney in the summertime

    Yeah...lots to like here Mick....I give it a "Good On Ya Mate" I like the casual nature of this best...it saunters through Sidney in a very laid back manner which then picks up the pictures you paint very well
  10. John Voorpostel

    Make America great again

    It's not going to be a problem because Trump trademarked it for use in the political arena..so you could market MAGA burgers if you wanted to In this case it's a song, and while it is political commentary, it is fair game Leastways as I see it
  11. John Voorpostel

    The Alchemy of You

    Thanks all for the comments. Guess there was a reason for dropping this one all those years ago. Will have another look at things, Funny...I know what it is all about...it reads good to me....but it obviously still has issues
  12. John Voorpostel

    The Alchemy of You

    Thanks everyone because I think this works well now to clear up the confusion and drive home the point. Not saying it's perfect but it's better than before I posted here. Dug this one out of my archives. Looked at it after digging out another one I used as an example in another post. Had written this into a completed song, but kinda left it behind because I was not quite satisfied. With what I know now, I did re write this some==mainly in the chorus and closing. Might actually go back and dig more out since this came from 2000. In the 18 years since I have learned a lot from folks like you who post on line the alchemy of you © 2018 John Voorpostel forever smitten, taken can it be by you lying here all shaken by the alchemy of you the anxiety of waiting and wanting as I do swept away and taken by the alchemy of you its the way love’s always been when a heart meets with its kind it opens wide, splits inside and brings two souls inside aligned I was one then you made us two smitten by the alchemy of you love’s so much more than calling out to those gathered yes I do my fortune was to be taken by the alchemy of you all for one and one for all together I can do fantasy I have been called by the alchemy of you its the way love’s always been when a heart meets with its kind it opens wide, splits inside and brings two souls inside aligned I was one then you made us two smitten by the alchemy of you inside my heart your soul beats loud we’ve come to more than two I’m glad our children are endowed with the alchemy of you its the way love’s always been when a heart meets with its kind it opens wide, splits inside and brings two souls inside aligned I was one then you made us two smitten by the alchemy of you
  13. John Voorpostel

    The Turd That Got Left Behind

    Glad the turd was not left on the behind....makes all the difference here
  14. John Voorpostel

    Hemp and Hops and CBDs

    Thanks for checking in Mick...yeah not as topical Down Under I suppose...but I do know Canadian companies are making inroads there. Great Grandma knew a thing or two about herbal remedies...alas she had to switch to Brandy and Rum Totties when MJ and THC were banned
  15. John Voorpostel

    It Happened Again Today

    This is something I wrote back in 2001==never made it into a completed song...so feel free to steal whatever works for you the anger generation © 2001 John Voorpostel its a mystery, layman’s lesson left to learn its a mystery, revelation yet to be earned its a mystery, one that leaves me stunned its a mystery, now run I hear the sound of a gun i heard, they pay off politicians i heard, they’ll contribute if you do right i heard, they are gathering up petitions i heard, I can’t walk around at night did you hear it, they say t’s just aberration did you hear it, laws will not be changing did you hear it, sounds of abdication did you hear it, the anger generation its a mystery, layman’s lesson left to learn its a mystery, revelation yet to be earned its a mystery, one that leaves me stunned its a mystery, now run I hear the sound of a gun i heard, they don’t listen to everyone i heard, that they hold us up as fools i heard, there are young ones carrying guns i heard,they’re now killing in the schools did you hear it, they say t’s just aberration did you hear it, laws will not be changing did you hear it, sounds of abdication did you hear it, the anger generation be careful in the workplace on the street and in your school on the sidewalk in your car and in the park down by the pool its a drive by d.o.a. its a road rager deranging I can hear it its the sound of the anger generation did you hear it, they say t’s just aberration did you hear it, laws will not be changing did you hear it, sounds of abdication did you hear it, the anger generation now run I hear the sound of a gun
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