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John Voorpostel

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John Voorpostel last won the day on November 15 2017

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About John Voorpostel

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    A Muse's Muse

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  1. November Lyrics Contest

    Yours was my high score Patty==so kudos for the win. Yes, some very strong entries made for an awesome cup of coffee as I voted
  2. My American Hero

    I could not help myself in trying to paint more pictures Patty Hope you don't mind me messing with it The only change I would urge you to make is bolded....that will allow the singer to rest before setting up and pounding out that awesome hook of yours My love’s an American hero He stands among the best Anywhere there’s trouble And everywhere else I’ve held him tight on weekends Before he’d leave for months Then each and every day I faced the dangers he confronts I love my American hero I cheer for the red, white and blue I try to be brave for our family He needs me to soldier through Yes, I stand with my American hero Wherever he may go His job’s to serve the USA And mine’s to dream him home I wish I could be a hero But he leaves and nightmares start It seems my constant battle’s Against falling apart I love my American hero I cheer for the red, white and blue I try to be brave for our family He needs me to soldier through Yes, I stand with my American hero Wherever he may go His job’s to serve the USA And mine’s to dream him home I tell my friends his striving Comes from deep within his soul While deep within I’m crying Every day until he’s home I love my American hero I cheer for the red, white and blue I try to be brave for our family He needs me to soldier through Yes, I stand with my American hero Wherever he may go His job’s to serve the USA And mine’s to dream him home
  3. It's Like We Never Said Goodbye

    Freshest Ink In My File.... It's Like We Never Said Goodbye © 2017 John Voorpostel I miss you every now and then Like a soft summer breeze It's like we never said goodbye They say home is where the heart is Sometimes it’s there with you I don’t think we ever said goodbye I remember how we shared our dreams Walking Bourbon Street down in New Orleans We promised ourselves we would share our lives forever But then somewhere down in Mexico I seems I somehow let you go And we flew home on different planes together Can you tell me how lives can change But stay the same somehow I expect it’s all about the memories My friends still call you angel And when they ask I say It’s like we never said goodbye I remember how we shared our dreams Walking Bourbon Street down in New Orleans We promised ourselves we would share our lives forever But then somewhere down in Mexico I seems I somehow let you go And we flew home on different planes together When someone asks I say It’s like we never said goodbye /20
  4. Planes Trains And Automobiles

    Don't mind the make up sex so much, but this guy was (I thought) on a business trip...why would he interrupt that just for make up sex?? The consequences are either a lost deal and\or a lost job. I do like this a lot, and the bit about the shoe paints a great picrture of a man in a hurry, but I'd make this about you wanting to get home for something more important ===like you realize you love her and want to propose. As is, you're a slave to your penis.
  5. Love Hotel

    Yeah I'm kinda with The Buddha in this. Perhaps because the first hotel\shell one is a bit hard to take. I know it's about the looks, but... Then immediately after you swing into a quick it was clear...which is grammatically wromng==should be quickly as it is an adverb. Now I'm not for being pedantic about grammar, but in this isntace it messes things up IMO. Then that debt thing==now why would you be deep into your partner's debt? Nothing that came before===it seems to have been a whirlwind quickie===would indicate that. Altogether it's a great story idea, but I think you need to go back to the drawing board here because there is no real clear "narrative, no real "core" other than that quick fling which does not normally stir up the emotions you are trying to paint,. Why would you almost instantaneously have sex with this person...is it normal for you? Unlikely, so why is this different??
  6. Connie

    Hi Mike Actually had the music down before posting the lyric and it all works nicely. The certain\garden and the dancing\romancing are "shorter" than the trying\electrifying internals, and the Connie's also stand out because of the music. The chorus is almost a plea while the verses are more hiya Connie...and the conversation going on in his mind that's like a practice of what he's going to say to her...at least that's what's going on in the back of my mind Hey Paul==that half way there is really saying he's incomplete without her==and the lyric is sypposed to set up a kinf of angst...will she finally say yea to him tonight?? Hi Dani==welcome to The Muse. I read your first post and will get to the next on in a minute. If you want to sit back and get comfy in a saloon...go for it and enjoy Hi Kerry==as I said to Paul==he is feeling incomplete without her...but that phrase is so overused, I wanted to say it in another way.
  7. It ain’t my song written

    only one suggestion for you to consider===no one wants to hear me scream....IMO more powerful as you mention the regime==they are ignoring you despite your fight Otherwise pretty good...
  8. "Superkettle" / "Ten and Out"

    So will you change your name when you're the headliner? Scans well with good images and the struggle is clear... so make er sing
  9. Solid Evidence

    Timely Paul. And every day we are hearing more and more. Glad women (and men) are being empowered by all this. I suppose seeds have been germinating for a year or more with Bill Cosby, Trump and the allegations made during his presidential race, the Fox scandals that took down some important people Guess it is, as they say, all about power and exercising it.
  10. Darker Than Black

    Thanks for the suggestion Bob==hows the fix I ?? I guess I was thinking things you go through rather than places you go to HoboSage==and taking your tack that colours would work really well. Thanks for the help folks
  11. Connie

    Connie ©2017 John Voorpostel Hiya Connie, do you think tonight’s The night that all our stars align You need not say for certain I can cultivate your garden I’m no stranger to waiting outside Connie all I need’s a chance But I’ll be waiting here no matter what you do Just know I’m going to keep on trying “cause you’re so electrifying And I’m feeling only halfway there without you Hiya Connie am I good enough To be deserving of your love You’ll find that my intentions Are not some mere invention They’re not some tear off thinly veiled facade Connie all I need’s a chance But I’ll be waiting here no matter what you do Just know I’m going to keep on trying “cause you’re so electrifying And I’m feeling only halfway there without you I feel the jolt, the flying sparks, envigored expectation And Connie you’re the only one who gives me this sensation Connie all I need’s a chance But I’ll be waiting here no matter what you do Just know I’m going to keep on trying “cause you’re so electrifying And I’m feeling only halfway there without you Hiya Connie, I’m a brand new man “cause I think tonight you’ll say we can We’ll start off with slow dancing With an eye on more romancing Maybe I can be your handyman Connie all I need’s a chance But I’ll be waiting here no matter what you do Just know I’m going to keep on trying “cause you’re so electrifying And I’m feeling only halfway there without you Connie all I need’s a chance But I’ll be waiting here no matter what you do Just know I’m going to keep on trying “cause you’re so electrifying And I’m feeling only halfway there without you /20
  12. Darker Than Black

    Hi James==thanks for checking this twice and getting that naughty or nice thing out of the way (too early ??? ) Clemo, I like that==slight change to "You who have known"...really drives the theme home Hi Musical key== the primary theme is that there are things worse than you can or have experienced, kinda like there will always be people worse off than you (and better for that matter) so be grateful for that. Yup Paul, that is a cousin of what I was trying to get across Spot on DonnaM.. the bridge was trying to be ironic..if your love is as sure a thing as those 4 imaginary creatures, what would you be hanging on to?...implying that it should be the core thought....which your suggestion makes clear. Let me think about this a bit==now what if I get rid of the sasquatch and make it clear it is all imaginary?? Thanks all for looking in and your comments...
  13. Darker Than Black

    Darker Than Black ©2017 John Voorpostel There are doors Darker than black Everyone feels So much better for that Every day is a gift Every flower a rose When you’ve known Darker than black Staring down bulls You brave, brave heart Deep down inside You’re only playing the part Every day is a gift Every flower a rose When you’ve known Darker than black Where love’s a sure thing Like a mermaid or a unicorn Some imaginary leprechaun==How's this DM?? What would you be hanging on? Chasing the future Tomorrow’s the past The faster you realize You’re better than that Every day is a gift Every flower a rose You who have known==thanks Clemo Darker than black
  14. My American Hero

    Sorry Patty, I'm going to be the contrary viewpoint. Your V3 is absolutely stellar when you say your job is to dream him home and IMO you need to focus on that as your hook. The rest is by no means badly written, but it suffers from linearity and lack of pictures we can see. For this to go over the top, we have to be there with you, and simply telling us what you are going through doesn't cut it IMO Where is the waking up with the night sweats, wondering where you are? Where are the two wives meeting in the base grocery store, and in just a glance, knowing each other's pain??? There's nothing wrong with telling us some things, but let us see what she is going through because that is the only way we can feel it too. And write a chorus something like You heard the call to fight for freedom Bravely enter battle zones And while I wait here aching hearted I'm here to dream you home===this dream you home is a million dollar hook....it says EVERYTHING about waiting, wondering, anguish etc
  15. MOOD

    8 minutes of stream of consciousness and it seems to work The knighthood as a reward does not work well this side of the pond, but hey, it's the UK
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