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R-N-R Jim

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R-N-R Jim last won the day on September 11 2017

R-N-R Jim had the most liked content!

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About R-N-R Jim

  • Rank
    Inspirational Muse
  • Birthday 18/03/1962

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Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Fox Valley,Wisconsin
  • Interests
    Songwriting, arranging and recording and on occasion performing.

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Lyrics/music and arranging.
  • Musical Influences?
    Beatles/Posies/Lets Active/Klaatu/Badfinger/Cheap Trick/Blow Pops/Shoes

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  1. Walkin Money

    Hi P Catchy little number. But perhaps too long? Doesnt really need a long solo in there. Just seemed alittle jumbled at the end. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  2. Music first lyric wirting?

    It's rare that I've ever come up with music for a completed lyric. I once wrote a melody for a lyric by Missy long ago called "All That I Dont Got" that is on my https://soundclick.com/jimcanrock site. It was a country cross over genre that she wrote and was sharing with me on the Muse chatter back in 2001. It had some nice lines and a bridge or pre chorus that seemed to give ample room to branch out melodically and just had this "feel". I ended up writing a third verse along with tweaking a line or too and ended up recording it on my 16 track. Again, this was just a rare one off. I've read a couple really good lyrics in past years at the lyric feedback section, but none were my genre or did I feel compelled to pick up my acoustic like I did with Missy's lyric. Music is the main premise of writing for me and the lyrics are just something that go along for the ride. The challenge is finding the subject matter to fit the mood of the music. Granted I will write down a phrase or take note of an interesting subject to maybe use later in a song. I have nothing full blown lyrically waiting for a melody. It's just an odd way to approach writing a song if I wrote lyrics first. Though Im sure it's more common in country music than any other genre. Usually as Im coming up with a melody while sometimes playing along with my drum machine, I start trying out lines semi-verbally if I have an idea subject wise where it's going. A line here, a phrase there as I develop the chorus or other changes. By the time I start programming drum patterns for the song, I have maybe close to a verse and a chorus done. Again,I have a number of melodies that haven't even gotten to the drum programming stage yet because I haven't established a subject or lines to go with them as of yet. I come back to them from time to time if I'm feeling bored or haven't come up with something new lately. I had a song I posted here quite awhile back called "New Years Eve" that took 10 years to write.lol Had the melody and a first verse and then it sat for years. I would go back to it from time to time to work on it. And then along with finding a female vocalist, it all came together. So, sometimes it's good to let things mature rather than finish in haste and let a song that has potential to be good end up suffering because of a need to finish it. So yeah, for me, it's music first.
  3. Your Counterfeit Heart

    Hi P Your lyrics for what Ive read so far have a quality about them. I can tell you take abit more time and care constructing them. The fact that you dont plaster the board with half baked ideas gives you far more credibility in my book. To get a songwriters attention, you have to have an angle or plot that is different or come up with an interesting twist on a heavily covered subject. I think you have achieved that in this particular lyric. The rest of the issues like phonetics or rhyme schemes are secondary. Granted I see you are trying to address those concerns too, but the plot or subject matter comes first in my book. There have been a handful of lyric writers from this site through the years that made that transition from just writing lyrics to having their lyrics find there way into songs. I think you're on the right path. But as I've suggested to other lyric writers, dont be afraid to try and come up with music to your songs, albeit take up an instrument like guitar or keyboards and even in a beginners way construct a song. It's fun(and frustrating at times) and perhaps will further your feel for lyric writing. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  4. Gig stories

    Two other gigs now come to mind now that I think of it. 1) We were playing a summer gig outside in the bar's parking lot. The bar in no way was prepared electrically outside to throw such an event. So they had a small generator and some extension cords running from the basement. To top it off, this bar was located one building lengths from the railroad tracks. Needless to say the railroad was semi-active and during each of our sets would drown us out during a song or too. Total Spinal Tap experience for sure...to be playing and then seeing the train rolling down the tracks to drown us out. Hilarious. Also during a set, the basement breaker goes out and the side of the stage that was hooked up to the basement cords goes silent, lights and all....so, there's half of the band not powered and the other half still going on with the song.lol 2) The band I played in was asked to play a set for a VFW benefit. The band before us provided the P.A. etc, so all we had to do was just bring our guitars. The event was held in the backyard of the bar. The bar itself was located across the street from a cemetery. Yes, we were about to rock the dead.lol Anyways...The first band is playing and my friend and I noticed how dark it was getting in the west and wondered if we were even going to play. The other band finishes and we start to play. Granted we are playing under these rather flimsy tents or awnings and figured one good wind and it was going to become an overblown kite. Half way through our set you could hear a slight rumbling and then a light rain started. I said earlier to my friend that if we're going to go, this was the way to go.lol It started raining harder and the majority of the crowd went inside. A couple drunk folks were still hanging out under the tents that covered the picnic tables cheering us on. During our last song "Born To Be Wild" the power cut out and all you could here was the drummer and the drunkards singing "born to be wild." classic.
  5. Gig stories

    Well...pull up an ice block and lend me an ear.lol This thread should be re-named "your own Spinal Tap moment." I have two in particular that stand out. 1) The first band I was a part of after high school had a gig lined up for an outdoor event at the park. The gig was at a park like shoreline of a harbor that was being used for speed boat races. We basically had gear that would be decent for an average bar, but was more or less rather pedestrian for an out door event. Needless to say during our mid afternoon gig and six songs into our set, someone across the street(a good 50 yards away) called the cops on us for being too loud. We werent even aimed in the direction of the neighborhood. Heck, the speed boats were drowning us out and to top it off, the event even had a noise permit to boot. The Budweiser tent was pissed. Go figure? As we were packing up, some biker dude (among others) were offering us money to play a party. He offered 100 bucks and all the beer we could drink. So, we pull up to this house west of town on a deserted road and set up and started to play. I guess we were an impromptu 7th anniversary wedding present to the bikers inlaw. Anyways, we play for a set and while we were playing, someone lights off a quarter stick of dynamite in a field just in back of us. All I remember is seeing a flash and both my back and the drummers back arched abit. Needless to say the cops showed up a half hour later...and it wasnt about the dynamite! Some one two blocks away called the cops on us. Motorhead we were not.lol 2) A band I played bass in 10 years ago played a sunday afternoon raffle at an open air pavilion. One of the grand prizes was a huge big screen TV. It was an odd weekend they picked since it was the start of the NFL season and most folks were watching the Packer game in the bar located not too far from the pavilion. The organizers were stymied by this predicament and wondered how they could get the patrons outdoors to further drink beer and eat brats. There wasnt a cable hook up or any other means to show the game through this TV outdoors. By chance, our drummer was a direct TV satellite installer and ended up selling them a subscription for the month and installed the satellite just before the gig. So, now they hang this TV on the opposite wall of where we are performing. I thought, well that's cool, we can watch the game while we are playing.lol But as soon as the game came on, everyone totally turned around with there backs to us watching the game during the whole gig.lol They would half heartedly clap after each song. I wish we would have snapped a picture of this from the stage with the caption: Crowd turns back on the Petting Zoo(our band name.). Classic.
  6. If anyone doesn't want to be here

    Hi Joe Wow, this was a neat subject or plot to take on......so much so I wrote my own.lol Well..okay, it's not my own, just an example where you could go with this. I bet if the monthly lyric contest we hold here would adapt the idea of writing about a topic for the lyric contest instead of open subject lyrics, it might be far more interesting since everyones view point might be different based on genre that they write lyrics for. Back to the lyric. As mentioned in my critique above , the second chorus just doesnt line up thought wise with verse 2 since you've talked about a different fonder era. You needed the last one or two lines of the 2nd verse to go back to the present angst for that chorus to work again. Again, great story lines here abound. Cheers R-N-R Jim
  7. Your Counterfeit Heart

    Hi P This one had personality. Nice set ups, delivery,chorus, hooks...all there. But....yeah, I was waiting for the guy to collect his dignity in the third verse and pretty much turn himself around and get off the ride to nowhere. So, your sardonic message of "vanity isnt all what it's cracked up to be" is there in plain site, but for the story to come full circle, he needs to say,"thanks, but no thanks." in the third verse or bridge. Good job though. Has alot going for it. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  8. Hidwaway

    Hi C What a fun folksy subject to tackle. It's hard to critique the words as far as phonetics because Im sure its going to maybe be a slower tempo. So, in general your off to the next step(if you already havent written the music for it) But yeah, this was fun and creative as well as universal. cheers R-N-R Jim
  9. Begin at the end (revised 22/3)

    Hi M The verses by themselves seem interesting, but together they seem to lack cohesion. Its almost as if you took four verses from 3 songs and randomly pasted them together. The first verse was my favorite and would be one that you could write a second verse for and be done with it. As Ive said in the past, repeating a first verse in a song is not a crime and is done quite often in songwriting. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  10. Blessed Today

    Hi T I do like the simplicity or style. But the train of thought and coherence doesnt quite pull off the state of whimsy you might have been shooting for. Plus I'll share with you a lyric that you can also hear the song just below my critique amongst my soundcloud selection (Yes, Im Tad Strange.lol) and you can maybe see what Im talking about. The song is called Sheep. Sheep (J.Upham)(c) 1996 V1 The sky may fall But today's not that day Put your boots on and greet another day Alot to say and there's much to be done Feel the sunshine reign on my parade V2 A summer breeze carries on a summer song The words will come when you hum it all day long The sheep they graze merrily on the hill Is this a daydream? Or am I out there still? Yeah, I break alot of rules. Im not your conventional songwriter /novice artist, but you cant really argue with the results. I call this song one of my White Album period songs (Beatle reference) Anyways...just showing you that a folksy simplistic style can work as long as the story has some traction. So, don't be afraid to rewrite this one. Just my Two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  11. Drink To Forget

    Hi Doug Yes, it's almost like one of those Nashville speed dating writing sessions.lol In a sense Im showing a song I havent worked on for almost a month now. And the darn last line or even the last two lines are hanging me up right now. It's a common occurrence in writing lyrics for me. I get a couple lines going and think Im at the finish line and then bam! Like getting three sides of a rubix cube to match, but the dam 4rth one. lol So when you change a line, it can end up changing the whole complexion of the verse. arrghhh.lol Lyrics are hard to come up with, even with a melody to work with. I have about maybe 15 songs now that Im working on and I havent even started on the lyrics for 10 of them. Some of them have been on the shelf for well over 10 years. It's like having 15 fishing poles out there. You work on the one that tugs at you.lol So...for the most part, I thought just for kicks, I would post my almost done lyric and see what kind of responses I would get. Granted the people leaving responses don't know what the melody sounds like(yet), but I did give them a genre and tempo as a parameter.Above all, it gives them a hint of the constraints Im working with as far as working with an existing melody compared to just writing a lyric out of the blue. As I've mentioned in other critiques, working with a melody is a different animal and have stressed that for the most part when writing, get your plot or story board down first. The words or window dressing are secondary at that point. But yeah, it's been a nice back and forth, reminds me of the Songwriter meetings our now defunct SOWI chapter used to have. cheers to the participants R-N-R Jim
  12. Travelin'

    Hi K I have to agree, it's just kinda whiny, generic in stature. Not even uplifting. Escapism is fine for a plot, but there just wasnt anything I could attach myself to as a listener. In short, could you actually see someone singing this lyric to an audience and really"feeling it?" Do you think this lyric would motivate someone to write a melody for it? Just my Two Cents Worth R-N-R Jim
  13. You Light A Fire

    Hi G Overall a nice spin on a well traveled plot line. It does have that new country vibe going for it and Im sure the music production will give it that zest the lyrical attitude is setting up. For some reason, I just felt the word "mind" was less romantic sounding. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  14. Drink To Forget

    Hi K Thanks for checking out the lyric. Lyrics are for me a hard thing to piece together when writing a song. So many different constraints to deal with when fitting the words etc. and hoping the words fit the mood of the melody too. Once I actually complete the lyrics and sing this ditty, I'll post it in the songs feedback section for you guys to listen to. Thanks for your 2 cents worth R-N-R Jim
  15. Drink To Forget

    Hi T Very much enjoyed the critique. If anything, I accomplished what I set out to do by posting this. One was to make sure people got the set up and the plot. Again, not a piece of art in the highest regard, but it wasnt meant to be high brow.lol Also it was fun seeing other viewpoints...kinda wondering if there was or is a line or too I may change. Again, thanks for the 2 cents worth.