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R-N-R Jim

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R-N-R Jim last won the day on September 11 2017

R-N-R Jim had the most liked content!

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16 Good

About R-N-R Jim

  • Rank
    Inspirational Muse
  • Birthday 18/03/1962

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Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Fox Valley,Wisconsin
  • Interests
    Songwriting, arranging and recording and on occasion performing.

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Lyrics/music and arranging.
  • Musical Influences?
    Beatles/Posies/Lets Active/Klaatu/Badfinger/Cheap Trick/Blow Pops/Shoes

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  1. We had a great gig December 9th at the Twisted Roots bar in Oshkosh and will play there next year outside on stage during the Oshkosh's mini mile original music fest at the end of July. Meanwhile we will be concentrating on recording 5 songs over the winter as our next gig will be late March at O'Marros in Oshkosh.

    FPD at The Twisted Roots bar 2.JPG

  2. Annoying lyrics

    Chuckle chuckle Okay, anything the BeeGees wrote after "Jive Talkin". I draw the line after that song.
  3. Don't it Shine

    Hi T Nice phrasing and metaphors. Great economy in words and above all singable words. The missing piece was maybe that a chorus needed to be introduced sooner to tie these metaphors together. Like, I get you're pointing out life's simple pleasures, but it seemed to ramble to where you were wondering when you were going to get to the point of what "dont it shine' means i.e. being life's moments. Your genre of music suggested is spot on. I guess I could point to you the Byrds "Turn Turn Turn" where they took a passage from the bible and made it their own as a folk expression or dialogue of life i.e. how they tied things together. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  4. It's All About The Question

    Hi J Its odd, the only thing that stuck with me was the title. Loved it, really. Its all about the question. It can go so many places. I think if it was more specific in terms of a plot rather than a pithy general observation of life as a whole, it would have more gusto...more meaning. The phrase to me has measurement, it needs definition. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  5. Delicious Grace - On My Way To You

    Hi A Lyrically its kinda bland, but the music is spot on retro! Great arranging! Coulda been an early Bowie or Todd Rundgren song. But, well...one thing, you need to get someone else to sing it. The vocals just arent there to pull it off. Plus, I'd end it after 3:20. The coda is fine, but even it too maybe needed some drums and bass to pick it up abit at least after a minute or two. But overall...I was impressed. cheers R-N-R Jim
  6. Blah blah

    Hi F Nice overall effect. At first I was alittle perplexed about the length of the intro, but it all makes sense now. More or less one has to reprogram their critique engine and realize this is more or less an album track and not a radio geared song. You should see about getting this into a film or something of that nature. The intro in that realm would be great for the beginning of a movie. cheers R-N-R Jim
  7. Wouldn't That Be Nice?

    Hi R I have to agree with Scenes about the chorus. Maybe a full jolt of bass and drums for the chorus, and then stop with a note sustained...fade in some bongos and start in again with the verse to maintain that beatnic feel. But yeah, absolutely a creative piece here. cheers R-N-R Jim
  8. Just Me And You

    Hi T Glad you decided to stick with my idea of adding bass to your songs. Its good that your lines are minimal and dont walk all over the song i.e. over play things. Anyways...just one snit, the ohhhs after Me and you, hmmm..not sure what notes you were trying to hit. Overall...the song has good feel. cheers R-N-R Jim
  9. Where All My Kitties At??

    Hi O Chuckle chuckle. There has to be a video for this? Right? Its a viral waiting to happen. Cheers R-N-R Jim

    Hi I This coulda been real fun had maybe you went with a relationship being totally run by texting. Its that electronic cold feel in the production that is a perfect back drop to the artificial concept of dating theses days via phone and the super over controlling aspect of iphones in "knowing every second of the day you can contact someone or keep tabs on them." Could make a semi-comedic video out of this song. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  11. nOiZe

    Hi V It succeeded in everything that I hate about that style of techno music. It should be a hit then? Other than that, production wise, it didnt quite have enough thump going on to "make the body move" . The lower dbs gotta be over the top to suck people onto the dance floor. cheers R-N-R Jim
  12. Candy World

    Hi A Verse 1 started out as whimsical as your writing style can be. But what followed went from personal semi-innocent exploration/observation to a chorus that went too general and kinda sucked the fun out of the POV. The chorus just didnt work for me on many levels. Verse 2 was kinda twisted, I chuckled as I read it, but now you were straying even further from the innocent ignorance is bliss angle established in the first paragraph of verse 1. Again, I loved the dark humor going on in verse 2, but how it fit tone wise in the lyric as a whole was abit puzzling. Again, the enlightenment angle only works if you do it in a Mark Twain way. Kinda like "Why are people cursing and frowning in their shiny new cars?" then follow with something like, " Did they take the wrong turn?" chuckle chuckle. So, I would ditch the chorus. It just wasnt fun. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  13. I Want to Make You Mine

    Hi C Lyrics were nice. Melody abit too boring for my taste, perhaps too long, but the recording and feel etc did what it had to do. Love the pix of the red head, Im sucker for them.lol cheers R-N-R Jim
  14. Just Where Did I Go Wrong?

    Hi J What didnt come across in the plot is why or what it was that made her feel she made a mistake. What was it about this guy that was sooo off limits? Plus you never felt this person was that strong or displayed a totally independent personality to feel like she was hood winked into falling for this guy. Overall it felt like a rather generic attempt at a crush song. And that's something you cant get away with especially when you're trying to do country lyrics. So, I guess, go back to the who, what, why,and when's of this song and think about how the characters could be better defined plot wise. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  15. Together Till the End of Time

    Hi T There's a song called "Down Like Me" by Ken Stringfellow off of his "Touched" cd. That is the kind of vibe musically I was getting off of the lyric. At any rate I'll keep your lyric in the back of my mind if something clicks. Its one of the few Ive read that has given me pause to go about even thinking about music for. Again, it was different and creative and had a nice short concise story...something alot of writers fall short of here. Each line counted for something in the story. I do most of my writing and recording in the winter months when things are bleak and barren out and you have time to toy around with ideas.lol So yeah, at some point I'll print the lyrics out and see what comes of them as Im playing guitar and watching TV at the same time. cheers R-N-R Jim