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R-N-R Jim

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R-N-R Jim last won the day on August 27

R-N-R Jim had the most liked content!

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About R-N-R Jim

  • Rank
    A Muse's Muse
  • Birthday 18/03/1962

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Fox Valley,Wisconsin
  • Interests
    Songwriting, arranging and recording and on occasion performing.

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Lyrics/music and arranging.
  • Musical Influences?
    Beatles/Posies/Lets Active/Klaatu/Badfinger/Cheap Trick/Elliot Smith/Blow Pops/Shoes

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  1. R-N-R Jim

    Goodnight Texas, Goodnight Carolina

    Hi D Maybe a verse too long, but it had this free form of story telling that so 70s in the right way. It left enough for the listener to fill in the blanks. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  2. R-N-R Jim

    This Godforsaken Place

    BILLY!!!!!!! I think it's been longer since you been here...or it seems that way. Okay, about the lyric. Time sensitive lyrics like this may lose their meaning or impact down the road. The irony about the plight of the immigrants from central America is that the gangs that threaten their daily lives had originated in Los Angeles. So yes, we created the problem by exporting it to these tiny countries who do not have the same law enforcement or stable governments to deal with this type of organized crime. As far as form and substance, it tells a good story, but maybe it plods along too slowly. I mean, I understand your trying to maybe tell a story in a folk like fashion, but the verses seem alittle long. I know its okay to break the rules, but do so if it has a payoff. In this case, I think less would of been more. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  3. R-N-R Jim

    "Hydra" -- Alt rock

    Hi G Nice note twisting. The vocals were okay. But yeah, the mix, like where are the drums? Seem way buried in the mix to the point I had to turn up the bass to even acknowledge that drums were even present. just my two sense worth R-N-R Jim
  4. R-N-R Jim

    Black Pearl

    Hi G I didnt have too much of a problem with the lyrics since the focus was more about the music. It's a case of hoping you dont write anything too trite to take away from the music vibe. I was kinda on the fence about the vocals. As the song went on I was getting used to your voice, but Im just wondering if another vocalist would take it to the next level. The music production or should I say arranging wise was artistic without being too overblown. There's group called diiv that you should check out. Their second album "Is The Is Are" has a quasi verbed out feel to it. Maybe a hint of 80s wave, but certainly a college radio feel. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  5. R-N-R Jim

    Black Star

    Hi A It is a hard line to straddle when your trying to be random but yet relevant at the same time. Abstract lyrics are an art form in themselves. I usually don't write in that style but I like to at times assert some vagueness to leave to the listeners imagination. A full blown example of this was my song "Strawberry Blond" which went alot of places only because the music was such, that injecting straight forward lyrics for this piece just wasnt going to do. Some would go as far to say that this song was just another Beatle forgery and I'm okay with that. 😁 I think you should check out artists that write in that lyrical style that your trying to achieve to see how they approach a story line or how their lyrical visuals seem to excite the senses. I've always found the lyrics that are playful and not preachy seem to have the best affect on a melody. I thought your outro exhibited some of that levity needed to pull off a vibe. Again, I tell other writers too, that if you want to write a certain style, study the songs you like and see what makes them tick. The Beatles did this religiously and the Everly Brothers were a treasure trove for their sound. Again, they took their style, but made adjustments and made it their own sound. I call it art by mutation. Painters of the age did this all the time. Checking out other artists paint strokes, visual perspectives and above all, subject matter. I know when I started writing songs and above all began arranging my songs, I started listening to the songs I liked and dissected them to see why they worked. From that point on, I would never hear a song the same way again now that I was no longer just a listener. In some ways I probably appreciate songs I like even more for the creative effort it took to pull off to achieve the overall affect. One such song for me was the lilting 70s era hit song "IM NOT IN LOVE" BY 10cc. A sonic artistic pop masterpiece bar none. There hasnt been a song that at least for me that pulls off so many artistic strands than this one. Also, another perspective of lyric writing I share with others is these little measures or things to ask yourself: 1) Could you see these lyrics being sung by someone in public without cringing? 2) Do the lyrics evoke enough "feel" or vibe that a melody writer would feel inspired to write a melody to them? 3) Depending on genre, are the words and phrasing singable? So, in closing, before you post a lyric, see if it passes these simple ideals. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  6. Hi S I normally dont comment on rap songs because I simply am not a fan of that type of music. So maybe what I have to say wont even register. What Im going to do though is access what you have as far as a song as a whole. The lyrics seem too random. Doesnt focus on a girl other than her superficial attributes. Again, the lyrics just seem like things you are just saying off the top of your head. Maybe that is common place in your genre music, but it doesnt ring true for your title. If you would have titled it, "Another Day I Live" then it would have made more sense. As far as arranging, you have a catchy riff to rap over, but I was waiting for some other instruments or female back ground vocals to add to the mix. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  7. R-N-R Jim

    Into the Underground

    Hi B I didnt mind the vocals being verbed and back in the mix. Gave it an atmospheric feel. Normally I dont even listen to this style of music, but your arrangements are less pretentious and have a certain vibe that isnt always associated with jam bands. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  8. Hi W It could be a Matchbox 20 type of song if you ever think about a fuller arrangement. As for the squeaks...Im not a guitar expert, but maybe some fret board oil on the strings might take some of the dryness squeak out of them. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  9. R-N-R Jim

    I Dream Too

    Hi B Nice vibe in arranging. Lyrics were a touch too random for me...but it didnt take away from the song as a whole. Cheers R-N-R Jim
  10. R-N-R Jim

    Let Them Go With Love

    Hi M It's certainly a song many people can relate to. There is by chance another song (All Good Things) about this subject by the group KLAATU. The interesting twist is that you didnt know they were singing about a dog until the end of the song. And yes, it's done in a Beatlesque style. cheers R-N-R Jim
  11. R-N-R Jim


    Hi Q Interesting way to compose lyrics.lol I guess it only shows how important melody is since overall it's listenable regardless of what your singing. cheers R-N-R Jim
  12. R-N-R Jim

    Make America great again

    Hi M If you look at the downfall of our country, it can be traced back to the republicans as far as blood for oil and the rich screwing the poor the last 20 years. So, now we have a dictator like president who does the bidding for the rich and wants to turn the clock back to the 1950s as far as race relations are concerned along with it's stereo types. We elected Archie Bunker(if your familiar with U.S TV sitcoms of the 1970s) except oddly he is a Russian puppet. Some times spelling things out as you did may in some ways seem too stark in contrast. You also may have bitten off too many subjects as well because unfortunately this country's downfalls as of late go across the board from the immoral to the worst aspects of greed. It's almost too much to comprehend as far as all of the civility and good will this country once enjoyed to be wiped out in just one half of one's presidency. Since the list seems so long in what this president has undone, you might want to pick out maybe one or two subjects to write about at a time. You could write almost a whole albums worth. 🙄 Or if you want to capture the theme of total capitulation, maybe a generalization of where things are or are going might be your story line or plot. Just for kicks I wrote one for an example. I went more simplistic by using metaphors. (I wrote it in 20 minutes)😆 Old Glory Lost Her Way V1 The pied piper came to town Different song, same ole dance Pulled the strings of nostalgia for some Bringing up the good ole days just for fun ch: Tell them what they want to hear Tell them what they want to fear Tell them what you have in mind Rinse, repeat until their blind V2 The piper's song it can't be beat Drowning out the truth we know Power shifts to evil means The rise and fall is now complete V3 The statue of liberty stands forlorn Her beacon of light lost at sea Fabric torn Old Glory waves Stands half mast for better days...meanwhile Again, I took a less defined approach but I think people are well enough aware what greed and power is and it's many forms. I mean, you dont have to be from another country to know what shit is as some may have commented. Anyways...it is a subject matter with passion. The challenge is to take that passion and shape it into a story that is smooth to sing and understandable without bogging down on being too preachy. Good luck. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  13. R-N-R Jim


    Hi T Nice descriptions. Though the plot would have worked if the story line was tighter.Like, oh, Im just another fool finding out too late from your vast collection of past flings. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  14. R-N-R Jim


    Hi Anna Again, easy to read, some parts iffy, but over all you have a plot basis down. Chorus maybe needs something more distinguishing in descriptions than what at least to me seems a little generic even for you. Your "Teach You To Fly" lyric had some great lines in it that stand out. Again, this one has possibilities. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim