Jump to content

R-N-R Jim

  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


R-N-R Jim last won the day on September 11

R-N-R Jim had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

12 Good

About R-N-R Jim

  • Rank
    Active Muse
  • Birthday 18/03/62

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
  • Music Page
  • Facebook

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Fox Valley,Wisconsin
  • Interests
    Songwriting, arranging and recording and on occasion performing.

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Lyrics/music and arranging.
  • Musical Influences?
    Beatles/Posies/Lets Active/Klaatu/Badfinger/Cheap Trick/Blow Pops/Shoes

Recent Profile Visitors

20,769 profile views
  1. Together Till the End of Time

    Hi T There's a song called "Down Like Me" by Ken Stringfellow off of his "Touched" cd. That is the kind of vibe musically I was getting off of the lyric. At any rate I'll keep your lyric in the back of my mind if something clicks. Its one of the few Ive read that has given me pause to go about even thinking about music for. Again, it was different and creative and had a nice short concise story...something alot of writers fall short of here. Each line counted for something in the story. I do most of my writing and recording in the winter months when things are bleak and barren out and you have time to toy around with ideas.lol So yeah, at some point I'll print the lyrics out and see what comes of them as Im playing guitar and watching TV at the same time. cheers R-N-R Jim
  2. One Day Is Enough

    Hi T You know, as a songwriter/novice artist myself I tend to write and rewrite lyrics on a constant basis until the thought and above all, the words are sing-able. In the end, Im usually pretty satisfied with what I did and do show these songs to my music friends for the acid test. For the most part they are entertained and have very few crits. Of course, Im older so the curve should be as such.lol Anyways...there are those times that I felt really great about the lyrics or felt they fit the song real well while some one had said differently. If it's just one person and that person doesnt get my genre of music, I usually just chalk it up to them just not liking the song or not understanding the genre. If I get an astounding negative reaction by my core group of friends...I listen to the crits and step back to try and see what they are talking about. If it makes sense, Im not at all inhibited to make changes. But if its a song Im simply in love with as far as the way it turned out and nobody liked it, I leave it "as is" cuz as an artist, I feel I achieved what it was I was trying to accomplish. That's the difference as far as writing for the intent of some one else recording your song compared to you, yourself recording the song as an artist. Again, you could leave the song you did "as is" if you really liked what you accomplished in it. Its like being a painter...you paint a picture among the 10 you think would sell first, but end up taking it back home to collect dust. cheers R-N-R Jim
  3. Maybe We'd Still Be In Love

    Hi V Day dream songs of coulda, woulda, shoulda are fine. Post reflection or regret plots work better if there was that moment where a choice was made and you later regret not taking that chance or letting something go that you took for granted. The melody does have that "missed opportunity" feel to it. But the presentation of the plot is too sedate and lacks description as far as the reason why this person is special enough to think about. If you sent this song to a publisher or one of those pro-songwriter seminars, they would point out some of the things that I felt and would go on to tell you that if you have to explain your lyrics to people, then you haven't done a good enough job telling the story. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  4. Hi M I suppose the intros are up to the arranger or artist when it gets past the screeners. But if you did have a catchy intro for your demo, be it 4 seconds or longer depending what genre etc, it could go a long way in creating that vibe or anticipation that a listener cues in on. Granted you have to go back 25 years to find anything earth shaking in the music industry that changed anyone's mind about "something new"on a commercial level i.e. Nirvana and the whole grunge scene to get excited about. But trying something creative even on a small level might tilt the playing field just alittle. So...in closing, I dont expect anyone to write anything new that will exceed anyone's expectations or re-invent the wheel, but hopefully put a different hub cap on it to make it at least stand out in this cookie cutter music industry. If nobody tries to do anything "new", we all suffer malaise and "art" dies on the vine. my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  5. Together Till the End of Time

    Hi Ty I heard the bare bones demo, but really felt the music did not do it justice. This is really good. hats off R-N-R Jim
  6. One Day Is Enough

    Hi T Hey, it's hard writing lyrics and as we try to be artistic or try to write lyrics that dont take away from the melody. Sometimes there are melodies that maybe give off a different vibe or feel. I understood the tangent struggles angle, but going by observations and then trying to tie the two characters together just didnt quite hit the mark for me. An artist who seems to do this effortlessly is Paul Simon. If anything, read the lyrics to his song 'Hearts and Bones" and you'll get what Im trying to explain. Cheers R-N-R Jim
  7. 6 Feet Under, Over You

    Hi K I dont come here that much, so scrolling through the past entries, this title caught my eye. The first verse was great..then...well the story line went too country or pedestrian for me. I was thinking it was someone who killed off his girlfriend and was in regret, but thought, well...If I cant have her, no one will. At least that was how I was thinking the plot or story line was going to go. Oh well... cheers R-N-R Jim
  8. One Day Is Enough

    Hi T I had a problem lyrically following this one. It was as if you took three song lyrics you had and cut and pasted one or two verses from each one to make one lyric. It went from a first person telling about being free from their burden, to telling another person what you see that they dont see to saying they will end up together. Confusing to say the least, only because you were waiting for more to happen about the one thing you had written about in the first verse. The lyrics in a sense took away from whatever you had going on musically. The music just seemed too straight forward to go off on a tangent lyrically. Not saying that you can't write in that style lyrically. But the first verse was such a good set up that the listener was expecting more to the story line of the struggle and the day of freedom or reckoning. Overall, I didnt think the lyric tied the observations with relation to the two characters in the story line. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  9. Hi J I think of those following our dialogue would have to say we both raise alot of relevant points and that we probably agree more than disagree about certain aspects. The fact that we write in different genre's makes it maybe more interesting as far as how we approach writing cliche's or avoid writing cliche's in our songs. Cheers R-N-R Jim
  10. Hi M Alot of valid points on how to write commercial songs. Though I wonder why a stylistic intro wouldn't hurt for a commercial song in order to make it stand out so that the listener would be able to cue in instantly on the song when being played on the radio.etc. It might seem like a gimmick, but when you're competing against other writers, maybe that little ooompf of creativity might be just the thing to get an A&R person to listen beyond the 15 seconds one gets when being screened. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  11. Maybe We'd Still Be In Love

    Hi V Melody was above average and had that 70s arrangement thing going on with the key up shift later in the song. I felt the chorus needed some staggered backing vocals ghosting half lines being sung by the lead vocal to fill out the sound and give the chorus some lift(70s style of course). I didnt feel like your lead singer had the tonal quality to sing this song. Maybe a more fuller Karen Carpenter style vocal would have made it more listenable. As mentioned in my critique, sing-ability became an issue from time to time. And for the plot, "remembered love", or "the could of been love" angle just wasn't articulated well enough to make the chorus have any impact. Overall, the song has the makings of a fairly nice song. Just got to work on some minor arranging, but for the lyrics, it needs better story telling to give the chorus some weight. just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  12. Copy of Me

    Hi S The raw energy was certainly there. But I stopped listening to it after one minute because the lyrics from what I could decipher weren't quite hitting the mark for me...Copy Me blah blah blah... Plus do add the lyrics in with your post since it is still a vital part of the song. Just my two cents worth R-N-R Jim
  13. Hi J Sometimes it comes down to the words being sing-able or some one just needing something familiar sounding to make the thought or plot line stick. As the example I gave, "Another One Bites The Dust." ,I dont have any idea where that phrase originated from, but I have heard it used in dialogue in movies, comedies etc. before it was written into that song. I can't even imagine that song in particular not using that phrase, do you? It really does drive home the feel etc. doesn't it? Granted, country music has used the cliche' to overkill proportions and I think it has made that genre of music suffer artistically to the point of being a parody of itself. Oh well...it's still making money I guess and folks love it. Who am I to argue about success. And well, dance music, it doesn't depend on lyrics to drive its music other than the hook line to be a back drop or prop for the club scene or Planet Fitness work outs. Again, I only turn to a cliche' or well worn phrase if I think its relevant in the lyric as a whole. Some of the artists I like (Let's Active, the Posies, and Elliot Smith) mine the cliche' fields and make them feel new or their own. It's quite remarkable how they do it really and that's why I don't discount the idea of using one even if I could come up with a line of my own. Case in fact, I'm writing a song with the refrain or hook line "Belle Of The Ball". I couldn't think of a better word description of a hot girl at a dance or concert that hit home or expressed it better than "Belle Of The Ball". It worked out so well that I'm using it again in another song and probably even more goofy is that I'm naming both songs "Belle Of The Ball" part one and part two respectfully. I could title them differently, but "Belle Of The Ball" is the hook, so I gotta run with it. Just wondering, is "Belle Of The Ball" cliche'? Or has it not earned cliche' status yet? Or will my songs bring it to that point? As far as being stale or trite, well that falls upon the ear of the beholder. I mean, does the phrase "I Love You" sound trite or stale? It certainly is overused. Anyways...yes, you're style of music being folk, I would gather does like to be more conversational and doesn't depend on cliche's to drive home the message. I couldn't see folk lyrics being written for a dance song or metal, but I have to add that Judas Priest's version of "Diamonds and Rust" is kick ass. If there is something we both would absolutely agree on is that a good number of beginner lyric writers/songwriters get roped into the cliche' trap almost by default. Some of it is due to the music genre they listen to which unfortunately is today's "popular" music. Cliche' land can be a hard entanglement for some to dig themselves out of since it's all they know. We were lucky of the "top 40" of our day which actually had songs of variety and lyrical substance with arrangements and music to match. These days you have to drill down deeper to find artists worth listening to. At any rate cliche's come and go, but using them never goes out of style. just my 14 emoticons worth R-N-R Jim
  14. Hi J "Wanna have my baby" isn't a cliche'? Then what is it? Slang? I've always looked at it as an overly obnoxious phrase you heard occasionally in TV sitcoms some while ago. Again, it was a silly way of saying you had a crush on someone. You're other statement that most songs would be better without them or something better could have been written for the cliche' is an interesting thought. I mean, "Another One Bites The Dust" by Queen, is there a better phrase that could have worked for that song? Highly unlikely or they would have come up with one since they were really good songwriters. Or Snoop Dogs "Drop It Like It's Hot". Lazy writing? Or finding a hook with bling? Dylan's "Like A Rolling Stone" was it a cliche' when he wrote it? Again, no one will ever mistake me for being a literary scholar or a top notch songwriter, but if someone decides to use a cliche' in a song, it doesn't "always" mean that a lyric writer is being lazy or lacks creativity. If someone can use it to their advantage, why take it away from the lyric writing pallet? It's actually an art form to use metaphors and cliche's in the right measure. Again, for me personally, I don't go out of the way to use them, but if it can benefit the texture of the song, there's no harm in using them. This may not be the case in every genre of music, but cliche's can be the dominate hook for certain genre's like dance or country. I can't imagine a dance song without a hook that isn't cliche' or doesn't become one. Like anything, you just sort the good from the bad. just my two cents worth (is that cliche?) R-N-R Jim
  15. Girls On The Beach

    Hi S Breaking all the rules and I love it. I think Ive figured out one of your influences...if I didnt no any better, this could be a 60s version of the Smiths. Cheers R-N-R Jim