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I Am Who I Am

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About I Am Who I Am

  • Rank
    Contributing Muse
  • Birthday

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Montana, USA

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Both, I guess, though weak on lyrics.
  • Musical Influences?
    Collin Raye, Dan Fogelberg, some 80's rock bands.
  1. No No!! You have it all wrong! I didn't STEAL these. And yes, I have seen the movie "The Words"..... I thought these lyrics were on here, but apparently it was on my other songwriting forum. Someone bought some very old piano books, and inside them, were multiple poems. The person took those multiple poems (with no author or name mentioned), and re-arranged them to come up with this basic idea. I liked the feel of it, so I tried to put music to it. Nobody knows who originally had the idea, but it's a personal topic to me, I got divorced because my wife did meth, disappeared, and cheated on me....so I'm sorry all of you are so angry at me for this.
  2. Howdy all! Well, I thought I found these lyrics on here, and I did a search, but couldn't find them. Anyhow, saw some awesome lyrics, changed em up a bit...and tried to put music to them. I had an idea to make it a duet...so please don't critique my falsetto attempt at a woman's voice! Ok, not asking for critiques on my lousy singing (I'm no singer)...just the "feel" and layout of the song for now please. It's a VERY rough draft, so I can see if I should pursue it further... Yes! I know I didn't put the chorus in there yet, but I did it to see if any of you "want to hear the rest!". (Verse) - Male There's something wrong, he said Something wrong within my head I can't face it, I can't tame it, Hell, I can't even seem to name it. (Verse) - Female There's something wrong, she said To the voices, in her head He can't break it, I can't change it, Like a lodestone we're chained to it. (Pre-Chorus) (male) And when pain comes calling my name, (female) Like a siren's song you can't pull yourself away... CHORUS: to be continued...perhaps lol depends on if everyone says it sucks or not! Thank you to each and every one of you who take time out of your busy lives to listen/comment. I appreciate you, and best wishes in all! ~ Eddy
  3. thanks you 2 last repliers! I'm umm...drunk tonight (imagine that)....but I appreciate you taking the time out to take a listen and offer advice...it really means a lot, so thank you. I'll reply individually to your posts tomorrow... Best wishes always! ~Eddy
  4. If

    Heya...there are 3 or 4 ppl who replied...and I appreciate you sooo much! Thanks a ton! ummm...lol...i was drunk when I came up with this idea, so yeah....prolly a lot of sporadic thoughts....I hate you guys havin to waste ur time critiquing a drunk! So I apologize... I'll reply indidually tomorrow to your replies, but just want you to know, was awesome of you to take the time and give advice..ty! <<<drunk again lol
  5. If

    NO critique's on singing please! I know I suck! Just the overall feel/topic. I'm new at lyric writing....so help me please! Both barrels on the lyric aspect. Recently? Divorce...again! from the same woman...I had to suck my pride up, back at mom's(but better than homeless, right? lol)...met a gal...but she's married....go figure, and I don't roll that way. But, that's what this topic is about....if ONLY, we'd met before now.....so what should the title be? Help!!?? And, again, musically, ALL BARRELS wanted.....lyrically? be nice, and try to help me lol VERSE: When we first chatted, I accused you of being a Goddess. Now I beg forgiveness, because I lied. Before, I saw ur picture, I was only hopin, that you'd be as beautiful, as, you made me feel inside... PRE-CHORUS: When I first saw your photo I surrendered, To you, the thought of you, the thought of forever, sadly, circumstances make it so, we really cannot be together... CHORUS: (well, the IDEA for it anyway...) If I'd only known u before we met... You'd see you're the only true Goddes yet... blah...blah...blah.... https://soundcloud.com/i-am-who-i-am/goddess thank you all, you're all awesome and appreciated
  6. personification...i get that! I'm a dork! lol Thanks for pointing that out!! j/k piercing, and eager...verse 1 and 2...i get it now! lol stupid me! n/m my initial post...good chance I had a beer or 2 that night! LO (or 14-ish)
  7. I'm no lyricist, but I THINK I'd know if something were real out of sync, or majorly wrong... I listened while I read, and everything flows real nicely...I think it's a great story....musically, I was hopin for a key change at the bridge or last chorus....I think that would help it build more, but even just duct taped together, it sounds great...great job! ~Eddy
  8. Thanks Mike!!! I appreciate the help and guidance you've been giving me....I got to thinking...I might die before this song is completed...I've sooooo MUCH I want to say, because of my feelings, but I know I can't say it all, and am trying to figure out what is MOST important...no matter the title, though starting out sad, I want it to let people know there's hope....so...hmmm.... lol that's where I'm at...the "hmmm..." stage Thanks so much again.... I just started playin notes on the keyboard...then the melody and words "went through a divorce" came to my mind...so I had to dig deep, and tears were coming to my eyes as I was recalling all these events...and I was thinking "what the hell am I doing? why am I talkin bout all this crap and what could this possibly turn in to.... I saw something recently...a vid, on "we all have our own battles, we need to identify them before we can overcome them, and sometimes our biggest battle is(ironically enough), the man in the mirror!(previously mentioned)... then it hit me....those were all battles... went through a divorce...I felt alone. g'ma had a stillbirth...she felt alone. dad beat my mom...she left, he was alone... killed himself...we kids felt alone. etc...the battle is we can't do things alone...and sometimes, the FEAR of being alone(like his abusive behaviour, trying to force her to stay with violence)...made him alone. I'm still in the emotional state in this song, remembering all those things...so it's hard....but...I'm still here...my battle is inside me...HOW I REACT to things...and what I'm gonna do about it. Gosh, y'all are right! I'm a preachy lil son of a gun! Thanks again Mike! And I'll work with ur idea on verse 3 adaption...have a great night! ~Eddy
  9. Good call! cuz it is..and here I thought I was bein creative by using the wife and life twice, by ending up, saying though THEY thought their battles were about those things....they weren't...it's a battle within us, i used wife and life on purpose! so yeah, introduction it shall be, cuz intro's the only TRUE thing about this song in my life, ....everything else is opinion, what I believe I'm tryin to learn....but SPOT on!!! intro It has to be.... line rhythms...hmmm...let me test it...this darn lyric writing! so much to think about...actually, in my case, "lyric trying" lol I was preaching to myself, in the chorus...or meant to...don't personally give a crap if someone takes it preachy lol! that sounds mean, but from my own experience? whether i wanted to hear it or not? looking back, the times I didn't WANT to hear it, was when i NEEDED it the most...but, I have to concentrate on what my idea is, I agree. I don't want to preach in this song, it's bout some serious stuff...I wanna convince myself(or others) focus on the battle, and the battle being "how we react to bad things...and before we can do that? we gotta ask ourselves...is it about what happened? or about what we do after a bad thing has happened"....now I see the theme, I think o.O MIKE...u rock!!! thanks for making me think...and creating another battle! haha j/k I created this by attempting it while ...well, read my replies to the next couple people lol Alright, WHICH BRELIZABETH wrote this? Husband? Wife? lol Anywhoo...ur spot on on the first verse...I usually don't drink that much, and was the other night...yes, nother rough time, so that very MUCH explains the random thoughts! You should have seen how awesome I thought it was while I was drinking! <<<*points to self....fighting biggest battle of my life...and thought I could change it while drunk! lmao The theme is (and I guess, i can't say "you", i have to keep it about me, or "us", and somehow tie that together, cuz I certainly do NOT want to condescend people who are going through rough times....I WANT it to be depressing, for the most part, that's why I shared my personal story in first verse, but more importantly....give people hope...gotta figure that out how to re-work that. I've heard both those songs u mentioned, but never really "listened" to them per se...I'll give that a shot. Thanks HUBBY/WIFEY!! Still love "don't let the music die" so help me!!! Don't let Eddy die! j/k lol ...even though I'm very, very distraught, I've 2 boys, 14 and 12, and could never do what my father did to me, and end his life....so I'm good! Well, I mean...I'm safe...my love for them would NEVER let me do that....but it's still ok to be sad, right? It's what we do when we're sad, or angry, or without hope, that makes or destroys us.... Anywhoo...i'm not asking for sympathy, my boys and I will be just fine...I guess this song is more bout venting...and hell...now I don't even know! But I do!....without tryin to be preachy, I want to tell myself...suck it up...nobody in this world has a life without pain....why should I feel like I should have a perfect life, when nobody ever has...successful people realize that, and move on, and try to be better than THEY were the day before. They don't try to be better than others, just better than they were before... oh gosh...now I've REALLY no idea where I'm goin with this? Any great lyricist wanna collab? lol 3rd? hmm...lemma have a looksie... hmm...if that's ur 1st impression, maybe I should look into that making a bridge...could be just me, but I'm a bridge fanatic...when songs don't have one? I'm sooo disappointed...but on ur first read, if that's what sticks out to you, maybe ur onto something!!! Thank so much Mike, Married Couple, and Lane for offering....and though this is my first REAL attempt at writing lyrics, I browse the lyrics section a lot, and see how much re-writing/structuring/POV'ing/meter...etc is redone. After I typed this reply, I did a really, REALLY simple recording, and had to sing in falsetto, cuz family members are sleeping...and Mike, maybe you can help me with the music/meter thingy...on 1st write, thought I had it sounding good...do NOT criticize quality of recording, but more importantly...don't criticize my voice! that's MY battle, dang u all! j/k Anyway, fine....I'm prideful...and since this song means so much to me, I BEG any or all of you to help me make it into something that could help others....that's my request... OH!! and btw...in the end, it's supposed to say something about "don't FIGHT the battles, win them, then there'll be no war"...ya know? kinda like 1 step at a time. But BRELIZABETH...it's about "no man is an island unto himself" ...each time someone was left alone. We can't do it alone....gosh, that's my theme! Everyone was right bout random thoughts, hard to follow, etc...I see that no..."each time someone was left alone"...and they digressed inside themselves...had issues nobody else knew about...they felt alone inside...we all need somebody..hmm..sortta the "Law of Attraction" principle... anywhoo...imma post a rough draft here, if it needs to be moved, then so be it. I was hopin it would stay here long enough for someone to help me get direction though. My description on soundcloud? ...>>> "concept song...REALLY rough draft lol! family members were sleepin, didn't wanna wake em. 1st verse is a true story, about my past...but don't feel sorry!!! I've got 2 wonderful boys...THEY'RE my battle now - how can I improve THEY'RE life...cuz I sure don't wanna leave them alone." And BRELIZABETH, that's prolly my theme. Never mentioned nothin bout my boys, but I don't wanna leave them....alone (or at least feeling like they are). Thank you people!!!! You guys rock! If anyone would like to help me, we could prolly do it privately, cuz I realize a lot of edits need to be made, lets leave room for others to shine! btw, did a LITTLE re-write on lyrics: I BELIEVE i fixed a meter issue or 2...and changed perspective, but help dangit! BATTLES: 1st Verse: went through a divorce thought my battle was about my wife grandma had a stillbirth thought her battle was about life dad beat my mom, thought his was about his wife. endin up killing himself, then I thought his was about life... ... each time someone was left alone. 2nd Verse:(there'll be some light drums kickin in here I imagine)... we're trained to fear rejection, and sacrifice our beliefs. cuz we're taught, it's about acceptance, BUT, that's just what we believe... Lately I came across something that really opened my eyes the battle's bout me, and how I see, Now I see a better life... ...no one can fight battles alone. * (reference to the last line of first verse...essentially a pre-chorus I guess)... CHORUS SO FAR : Before we can... get along with someone else.. We need... to look inside ourselves. Don't act, just be Who'd we'd like others to be And in the end... we won't be by ourselves. ***OR "we'll be at peace with ourselves" https://soundcloud.c...ho-i-am/battles I changed words in my mind as I listened...they're enunciated by asterisks.... "BATTLES: 1st Verse: went through a divorce thought my battle was about my wife grandma had a stillbirth thought her battle was about life dad beat my mom, thought his was about his wife. endin up killing himself, then I thought his was about life... ... each time ****someone felt*** alone. 2nd Verse:(there'll be some light drums kickin in here I imagine)... we're trained to fear rejection, and sacrifice our beliefs. cuz we're taught, it's about acceptance, BUT, that's just what we believe... Lately I came across something that really opened my eyes the battle's bout me, and how I see, Now I see a better life... ...no one can fight battles alone. * (reference to the last line of first verse...essentially a pre-chorus I guess)... CHORUS SO FAR : Before we can... ***make peace*** with someone else.. We need... to look inside ourselves. Don't act, just be Who'd we'd like others to be And in the end... we won't be by ourselves. ------------------------- Do the few changes LYRICALLY i made help? make more sense so far? AGAIN...thanks all! If you weren't honest with me, this personal song would prolly suck! If I didn't dislike ya all we could've been best friends! haha j/k
  10. Good call! cuz it is..and here I thought I was bein creative by using the wife and life twice, by ending up, saying though THEY thought their battles were about those things....they weren't...it's a battle within us, i used wife and life on purpose! so yeah, introduction it shall be, cuz intro's the only TRUE thing about this song in my life, ....everything else is opinion, what I believe I'm tryin to learn....but SPOT on!!! intro It has to be.... line rhythms...hmmm...let me test it...this darn lyric writing! so much to think about...actually, in my case, "lyric trying" lol I was preaching to myself, in the chorus...or meant to...don't personally give a crap if someone takes it preachy lol! that sounds mean, but from my own experience? whether i wanted to hear it or not? looking back, the times I didn't WANT to hear it, was when i NEEDED it the most...but, I have to concentrate on what my idea is, I agree. I don't want to preach in this song, it's bout some serious stuff...I wanna convince myself(or others) focus on the battle, and the battle being "how we react to bad things...and before we can do that? we gotta ask ourselves...is it about what happened? or about what we do after a bad thing has happened"....now I see the theme, I think o.O MIKE...u rock!!! thanks for making me think...and creating another battle! haha j/k I created this by attempting it while ...well, read my replies to the next couple people lol Alright, WHICH BRELIZABETH wrote this? Husband? Wife? lol Anywhoo...ur spot on on the first verse...I usually don't drink that much, and was the other night...yes, nother rough time, so that very MUCH explains the random thoughts! You should have seen how awesome I thought it was while I was drinking! <<<*points to self....fighting biggest battle of my life...and thought I could change it while drunk! lmao The theme is (and I guess, i can't say "you", i have to keep it about me, or "us", and somehow tie that together, cuz I certainly do NOT want to condescend people who are going through rough times....I WANT it to be depressing, for the most part, that's why I shared my personal story in first verse, but more importantly....give people hope...gotta figure that out how to re-work that. I've heard both those songs u mentioned, but never really "listened" to them per se...I'll give that a shot. Thanks HUBBY/WIFEY!! Still love "don't let the music die" so help me!!! Don't let Eddy die! j/k lol ...even though I'm very, very distraught, I've 2 boys, 14 and 12, and could never do what my father did to me, and end his life....so I'm good! Well, I mean...I'm safe...my love for them would NEVER let me do that....but it's still ok to be sad, right? It's what we do when we're sad, or angry, or without hope, that makes or destroys us.... Anywhoo...i'm not asking for sympathy, my boys and I will be just fine...I guess this song is more bout venting...and hell...now I don't even know! But I do!....without tryin to be preachy, I want to tell myself...suck it up...nobody in this world has a life without pain....why should I feel like I should have a perfect life, when nobody ever has...successful people realize that, and move on, and try to be better than THEY were the day before. They don't try to be better than others, just better than they were before... oh gosh...now I've REALLY no idea where I'm goin with this? Any great lyricist wanna collab? lol 3rd? hmm...lemma have a looksie... hmm...if that's ur 1st impression, maybe I should look into that making a bridge...could be just me, but I'm a bridge fanatic...when songs don't have one? I'm sooo disappointed...but on ur first read, if that's what sticks out to you, maybe ur onto something!!! Thank so much Mike, Married Couple, and Lane for offering....and though this is my first REAL attempt at writing lyrics, I browse the lyrics section a lot, and see how much re-writing/structuring/POV'ing/meter...etc is redone. After I typed this reply, I did a really, REALLY simple recording, and had to sing in falsetto, cuz family members are sleeping...and Mike, maybe you can help me with the music/meter thingy...on 1st write, thought I had it sounding good...do NOT criticize quality of recording, but more importantly...don't criticize my voice! that's MY battle, dang u all! j/k Anyway, fine....I'm prideful...and since this song means so much to me, I BEG any or all of you to help me make it into something that could help others....that's my request... OH!! and btw...in the end, it's supposed to say something about "don't FIGHT the battles, win them, then there'll be no war"...ya know? kinda like 1 step at a time. But BRELIZABETH...it's about "no man is an island unto himself" ...each time someone was left alone. We can't do it alone....gosh, that's my theme! Everyone was right bout random thoughts, hard to follow, etc...I see that no..."each time someone was left alone"...and they digressed inside themselves...had issues nobody else knew about...they felt alone inside...we all need somebody..hmm..sortta the "Law of Attraction" principle... anywhoo...imma post a rough draft here, if it needs to be moved, then so be it. I was hopin it would stay here long enough for someone to help me get direction though. My description on soundcloud? ...>>> "concept song...REALLY rough draft lol! family members were sleepin, didn't wanna wake em. 1st verse is a true story, about my past...but don't feel sorry!!! I've got 2 wonderful boys...THEY'RE my battle now - how can I improve THEY'RE life...cuz I sure don't wanna leave them alone." And BRELIZABETH, that's prolly my theme. Never mentioned nothin bout my boys, but I don't wanna leave them....alone (or at least feeling like they are). Thank you people!!!! You guys rock! If anyone would like to help me, we could prolly do it privately, cuz I realize a lot of edits need to be made, lets leave room for others to shine! btw, did a LITTLE re-write on lyrics: I BELIEVE i fixed a meter issue or 2...and changed perspective, but help dangit! BATTLES: 1st Verse: went through a divorce thought my battle was about my wife grandma had a stillbirth thought her battle was about life dad beat my mom, thought his was about his wife. endin up killing himself, then I thought his was about life... ... each time someone was left alone. 2nd Verse:(there'll be some light drums kickin in here I imagine)... we're trained to fear rejection, and sacrifice our beliefs. cuz we're taught, it's about acceptance, BUT, that's just what we believe... Lately I came across something that really opened my eyes the battle's bout me, and how I see, Now I see a better life... ...no one can fight battles alone. * (reference to the last line of first verse...essentially a pre-chorus I guess)... CHORUS SO FAR : Before we can... get along with someone else.. We need... to look inside ourselves. Don't act, just be Who'd we'd like others to be And in the end... we won't be by ourselves. https://soundcloud.c...ho-i-am/battles
  11. lol!!! and I'm not a mockingbird....that's NOT why I'm laughing...I'm laughing at the line..."I grew up and went crazy"....because that's what I feel I did!!! How dare u bring...u harbringer...my personal life into this! On THAT subject...HARBRINGERS... perfect word...puts a great visual in my mind... I didn't CARE for "eager claws"....only because...I've never seen an eager claw...how bout "eagle claws"...cuz to my claws are physical, and lack emotion.... DAISIES...i was thinkin...what's that gott do with anything? lol - but I'm not making fun...when i read " I grew up and went crazy"... in song context...i believe I wouldn't even think daisy even sounded half wrong... In lyric context? after I re-read them, it made perfect sense....btw, I'm no lyricist...so take or leave what I say as you wish...but after first read (first read a couple words threw me off)? I LOVE this!!! Great job!
  12. i got lost when you said "preach no judgment" but then said he/she did? ---STRONG possibility I'm not as deep as you lol - I'm not a "deep" thinker...so if there's a hidden meaning, of course I missed it I too, feel the anger in this, as the great people before me mentioned...and i also agree...with music it could work if you've already done it(feeling a thrash metal vibe here)...but to read? Kinda hard... But that's great if ur goin 4 the whole thrash metal thing...cuz they can spew a verse out in 1.14 seconds faster than I can play a whole ballad on piano!! If u were goin for angry? KUDOS!!! point taken...if ya have music to this, please share...it would help us all out with the meter/structure
  13. "when the true heart, gets the blue heart" THAT IS SOOOO AWESOME!! I went through this, and yes, she got to break all the rules too...but...that alone, the true heart, blue heart, is worthy of a song all by itself...I'm mad cuz I never thought of it! Great jo
  14. lmao!!! Not at you...but at me!! BECAUSE...when i started reading these lyrics, I already felt like I was listening to a song! Such a good meter, and your descriptons... I'm no lyricist...I compose...so can't critique too much about (1st person, 3rd person, etc)....but this would be so easy to write music to. Great job!
  15. When I started reading, I thought you were doing awesome!!! And you did! Then I got lost...BUT!!! All's not lost... These people replying? They're awesome lyricists and are trying to help... I got lost at the "snow" part...simply because I live in Montana(USA)..northern hemisphere...and if it's snowing, I can't see the stars... BUT!!! Don't fret it! I just posted my first lyrics too...and unlike you, I'm no lyricist...I play piano/compose.... My first song I got brave enough to post...ppl were like "good start", or "overall good", or "i didn't like that key change" etc. I was soooooooooooo hurt! I'd already spent hours and hours and then some minutes, and seconds....and etc... workin on it before I had the nerve to even post it to the public!!! But? Ya know what? I learned, when more than 2 ppl give suggestions? I will listen to them! Because my finished song, was soooo much better than I thought it'd be, because I listened...actually, I think listen is supposed to be the word "learned"...it's just spelled wrong! I LEARNED from those people, and my song(didn't have to change the whole thing...just bits n pieces)...came out 547% better(I had a % meter at the time o.O ...actually, I should invent one of those!)... Anyway, first submission? Great job....you got your nerves out of the way...but...ur already *pulls percent meter out* .... 742% better than I am! Come back...and re-work it...the old addage...no great song is ever finished