Not overly in love with the first verse...
Looks like I was barely breathing Felt like I was barely breathing ...........or .................(after reading above explanation) It felt like I was out of breath
Living life like it had no meaning
Needed time to slow things down It doesn't get any slower than barely breathing. (after reading above explanation) If you use the above suggestion or something like it what you have with slow things down could potentially work.
Now I see who was right in front of me Who is that? At first, I thought this was the point of view reflecting to himself. (After above explanation) I see it's a girl.
Standing still, waiting to set me free
Give me a taste of the life I need.
(Save me from this life I lead.)
I read the explanation provided above on some of the lines in question and I must admit, I would never have guessed that this individual's life was out of control and needed to slow things down based on the wording without reading the explanation. Also, would never have arrived at the love interest (a girl) with regards to the line "Now I see who was right in front of me". I thought the perspective was reflecting on himself.
I like the overall message about getting one's act together and or finding oneself and beginning to make a move and change one's life. Theme (which of course is how I see it) is relatable.
Why anyone would want to be a member of society is beyond me. As a controversial college professor of mine once said about society in general. It's a big nothing. All jaws dropped and looks of horror shattered the classroom as a result.
Keep working on it and use or lose the suggestions.