Welcome to Muse Songwriters Message Board

Register now to gain access to all of our features. 

 

This message will be removed once you have signed in.

satincross

Members
  • Content count

    82
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

0 Neutral

About satincross

  • Rank
    Contributing Muse
  • Birthday

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    California, USA

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    I write both lyrics and music
  1. Thanks for the input Justin. You bring up a good point in that the song, as is, is at the top of my vocal range and perhaps I'd do myself a huge favor in modulating it a whole step lower. Taking into account yours and David's suggestions, I recorded a 1+1 of "Fragments", tuning my acoustic down a whole step and reworked the chorus, deriving it from David's suggestion above: But here and now What’s through is through And the only thing that I know I can do Is hold on to the fragments of you I think it sounds good, but I'm still kinda soaking in the changes so to speak. I'd love to hear what you all think of these changes vs. the previous version. Here's the 1+1 with the suggested changes: "Fragments" 1+1 update Here's the link to the original: "Fragments"
  2. I agree with Justin, this song sounds great. I've given it a few listens and can't really find much to critique, other than it's been too long since you previously posted anything.
  3. Thank you for the kind and supportive words David. I really like your suggestion for tweeking the chorus and will definitely play around with your suggested change. Off the bat I can definitely see it working so I'll experiment with it and see where it goes. As an aside I was gonna make a comment in your "If I Were You" thread but noticed it disappeared before I could make a post (I've also noticed that this place got super busy after I posted this thread, good to see so much life in the muse!)
  4. I wrote this a few years ago now. It's one of the first 'real' songs that I feel I've written in that even though it's a deeply personal song the lyric is written in a way that is general enough for others to relate to. I like the arrangement here, I feel that some of my vocal phrasing can be improved upon but that otherwise I give a decent vocal performance. I'm sure that there could be some harmonies/backing vocals included... and the mix can certainly be improved upon. Regardless, I'd like to know what the members around here think of this. "Fragments" Music and Lyrics: Robert Cross Shattered like a broken glass All things that come must pass I only have the little bits that remain All my walls have fallen down Our love’s behind us now And the only thing left to do is to pick up the pieces and start again Time is always passing by I think back to when you were mine A little angel wanting to be adored So sweet and innocent All those times came and went Too bad things can’t be that way anymore But here and now What’s through is through I hold on when the only things I have left Are fragments of you As the years slip away My memory starts to fade Still I find mementos of you around But these things don’t measure up And nothing will ever be enough It’s just a little too late for us now Shattered like a broken glass All things that come must pass And now it’s time to just let them be ‘Cuz nothing that I’ll ever do Can ever bring me back to you But a part of you will always be a part of me ‘Cuz here and now What’s through is through I hold on when the only things I have left Are fragments of you
  5. As I've gotten deeper into songwriting I've found myself not as impressed with the songwriters who I had aspired to be like when I was a teenager or in my early 20s. I've never considered myself a big Smashing Pumpkins fan, but despite that I had always been impressed with Corgan's level of output when I was younger and aspired to be a prolific songwriter at that caliber. At closer inspection though, much of Corgan's stuff doesn't stand the test of much scrutiny. Unfortunately as I've grown as a songwriter I've seen that Corgan hasn't. Over his entire career it's clear that most of his lyrics are non-nonsensical and sound as though he put little to no effect in actually crafting his work or in attempting to articulate a thought or idea. He either gives a lot of his songs goofy titles that have absolutely nothing to do with the lyric ("Mayonaise", "Panopticon", "Anti-Hero", etc.) or he goes in the polar opposite direction and writes songs that basically say nothing but the title ("Run2Me", "Dorian", "Bring the Light", etc.) and his lyrics are so abstract and non-nonsensical that often times the only meaning for a given song will come from what he states in interviews. For example, he claimed in an interview that "Drum + Fife" was about the soldiers in the middle-East, but there's no way could derive that from the lyric... there's absolutely nothing in the lyric that would indicate that the song has anything to do with the soldiers, or war, or anything related to what he claims it's about. It's very apparent in interviews with him that he's very arrogant when it comes to how he feels he is at his craft and he's been vocal in saying that he's a musical genius (his words, not mine) so that gives the same kind of attitude as younger posters who join the Muse wanting instant praise for their songs and over-react when legitimate criticisms are posted against their work. In all reality he's been very lucky. He's had a level of success that has allowed him to remain in his own little world and not grow as a songwriter. He's been busy blaming his declining success and popularity on filesharing and the new generation that doesn't value music when in all reality his inability to grow and adapt as a musician and songwriter to a new environment is really what is to blame. I mean just because something worked so well in the 90s doesn't mean that it's gonna work almost two decades into the 21st century. Dave Grohl's songwriting has worn on me over the years in a similar fashion. I remember being so impressed with songs like "Let It Die" and pretty much the entire In Your Honor album (which I still enjoy) but his more recent work has really took a nosedive in quality. Starting with the entire Wasting Light album his lyrics were just entirely composed of either tired cliches or slight alterations of cliches that you almost wished were just the original cliche. By his own account the lyrics to "White Limo" were written in two minutes. http://www.fooarchive.com/gpb/classicrock11.htm Grohl clearly believes in the spontaneity of the moment for a lyric, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, except when it becomes very clear that a lot of his "five minute lyrics" sound as though they were written in five minutes or less. :/ I mean c'mon... "This was no ordinary life/This was no ordinary wife"... my brain just shuts down listening to this benign, boring, cliched crap.
  6. Nice song, strikes me as being very Beatle-esque. Sounds like the lead vocal is mixed very high in the mix as well as having way too much reverb on it. Welcome to the board, Always good to see new people join. Do yourself a favor in future song posts and be sure to include the lyrics to your songs.
  7. Cool sounding piece. You should hit up RobAsh for a collaboration. He's super into hard rock/metal and he's done a few collabs on the board here before. He's got a strong voice that a lot of people here like. He sounds like Joe Walsh to me. http://www.musesongwriters.com/forums/index.php?/user/40677-robash15/ I haven't seen him on the muse board in a while though (Aug 15, 2016 according to his last sign-in on his muse profile), so maybe he's been busy with other ventures, but if you can get in touch with him I'm sure he'd love to collaborate with you on this if he's available.
  8. Hi Mike, this was one of my favorite songs from the May song contest. Without being too revealing I gave it a high score. My only real critique is that I wish the song was a bit shorter, like maybe by a minute or so. Especially in light for the style that the song is in, I'd think it'd be stronger if it were closer to the 3:00-3:30 mark than at 4:42.
  9. Hi Tony, The intro's long and the electric guitar needs to seriously be eq'd. Sounds cool but it comes in harsh. I like the dissonant nature of the song, cool vibe and I like the lead guitar work.
  10. "Lavishly Lavender" Words and Music: Robert Cross Cooler colors always look good on you Cuz they match with the tone of your skin They bring out something in your attitude I find attractive and so feminine I light up like a Christmas tree when I look in your eyes And it happens by no accident So come here and lock your arm within mine And I'll wear you like an ornament From the highlights you have in your hair To the sunhat that you like to wear Your sense of style Always brings me a smile And I love how you're lavishly lavender Lazy Sundays in bed with you are what I dream of When I'd wrap you all around me Shower you with every ounce of my love And watch you pose on your vanity From the highlights you have in your hair To the sunhat that you like to wear Your sense of style Always brings me a smile And I love how you're lavishly lavender I have no idea what I've gotten myself into I'm completely enamored with everything you say and do And there's something that comes over me When I see you dressed to the extreme That makes me wanna rip off your clothes and have my way with you From the highlights you have in your hair To the sunhat that you like to wear Your sense of style Always brings me a smile And I love how you're lavishly lavender *Comments/feedback welcomed*
  11. Update, 2016: Taking the advice previously given into consideration, I re-did the drums and added the droning guitars that mentioned when I first posted this song. Please lmk what is thought of the changes. The link to the original version is still active. How do the droning guitars sound? How do the new drums sound? How does the song sound overall compared to the previous version? "Lavishly Lavender" (D Major) "Lavishly Lavender" (Update)
  12. I have a couple of friends that seem to have no concept that there should at least be a second or two of silence on an mp3 before the music starts. I've been with them as they've edited/mixed down a song and they'll literally put the start marker at the exact moment the music starts. I've found that when that happens, an mp3 can kinda 'skip' or at least sound like it started a second or two into the music. That being said, I like to have at least one or two seconds of time before the music starts on anything I mix down.
  13. As a teenager I loved the Beatles, but kinda outgrew them by my early 20s. Now I hardly ever listen to anything Beatle related. With the exception of George Harrison's All Things Must Pass and Cloud Nine albums, I never cared for any of the Beatles' solo works. That being said I always liked what the (then) surviving Beatles did to John Lennon's demos of "Free as a Bird" and "Real Love" in the 90s, and thanks to the joy of YouTube I found some of Lennon's numerous demos of these songs. I stumbled upon this video on YouTube yesterday and found it to be somewhat interesting. Over recent years I've grown to really appreciate the art of songwriting. Instead of thinking of it as something that pours out of an artist seamlessly, I like seeing how a song is crafted and modified over a period of time (be it hours, days, months or even years in some cases). This video shows the evolution of two songs Lennon was working on in the 70s and into 1980, "Real Love" and "Stepping Out". I really like seeing how Lennon developed both of these songs over a period of time and through several of demos, throwing out older ideas that he felt weren't working while incorporating new ideas and modifying old ones. It looks as though part 1 of this series isn't up on YouTube anymore (if it ever was) but the uploader does a pretty good job at explaining the development process at the start so Part 1 isn't essential to get the grasp of where Lennon was at with these songs.
  14. .Not too many colorful characters running around like him in politics now. How about Donald Trump? He's a most colorful character. I suppose. Idk, I was just always so amused with Rob Ford though. I'm bummed to hear that he died and I'm not even Canadian.
  15. That and you guys just lost your most interesting politician in Rob Ford. Not too many colorful characters running around like him in politics now.