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TamsNumber4

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About TamsNumber4

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    Inspirational Muse
  • Birthday 17/03/67

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    New England

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  1. Justin, Charles and Qindfish, thank you for listening and your kind comments, it is very much appreciated. Hobosage, so nice to see you again, yes...it is a FAWM song, it was created in an hour, there is no time for learning during FAWM, but it will eventually get redone correctly for sure!
  2. This is a FAWM song written for the "DREAM" prompt. I was tired of writing pretty dream songs, so this is where I went.It is meant to be poetic, artistic and is taking a relationship through a nightmare. It was crafted to be surreal.My Cordoba Guilele is the main instrument and I put in a small guitar track and tapped out on my Bodhran (only so that I could say that I finally used it!). I play everything and sing all vocals. Recorded on my Tascam.I am hoping to put together my very first cd and I have been thinking of this being the last song on it so that I have an artistic ending, leaving the listener thoughtful and pondering. Still not sure if that is a good thing or not!! NIGHTMARE OF MY DREAM on SoundCloud NIGHTMARE OF MY DREAM on SoundClick Nightmare Of My Dreamby Tammy Jann© 2017There was a tear that escaped from meit fell into a lavendar seaI had turned my back on realityto walk on the dark shores of a dreamI was hypnotized by the sparkthat you created in my heartbut the fantasy cracked and fell apartwe are left in a land, broken and scarredBridgeThis was our fantasy to shareIt was our love that brought us hereand every day, turns black as inkand every footfall makes us sinkdeeper into what seemsto be the nightmare of our dreamsThe dagger was never meant for youa small thorn pricked us both and grewand the blood that was spilled on the birds of bluetainted their hearts and away they flewI tried to get warm staring into the sunit's so chilling when two are oneI was floating into night as I came undonethe nightmare of my dream's begun
  3. I really like this write, especially verse 2. I do believe, as others have said that phrasing and storytelling is the important thing here. It reminds me of ELO's "TIME", it is a story and when they sing about robots, they do it in a clipped, robotic way to stress the coldness of the robot they are singing about. I think with this (and if we consider the idea of Pinocchio) we know that there is longing and emotion (at least in the original story). The need to be real, accepted and loved and that would sing different. I also think if this was a little more emotive, it would improve your phrasing and enable you to help the listener come into the story. That is just my opinion, but always love your songs and voice and it is great to hear you again Fab! Tammy
  4. Justin, Really like the guilele for this, very simple, allows the intent to shine through. I went by the lyrics posted on SoundCloud and I liked it, you emoted the lyric very well, the vocal is very nice. So sad, especially for someone like me who has lost a child to an illness, so I won't pause too long on this, but I thought it was done very well and the lyric made sense and the melody was wonderful. Tammy
  5. Great production, write and collaboration. The lyric is clever in that it could stand on its own without political references. I never like to box in a song and make it only work for one particular instance. The vocal had the powerful effect and like the crowd chanting in it. Very nice song all around! Holy Cow! The next song playing on SoundCloud is "I Was The One To Tire"....that is FAB!! Sorry to change subjects, but what a wonderful song also!! LOL!! Tammy
  6. What can I say....I love Poe...Edgarby Tammy Jann© 2017The tick, tick of his heartbeat goes on and onwhile the clock is pounding each minute goneHis madness drips words down to his handand they slowly fall off the tip of his penHis brandy-stained lips seek the glass once moreliquid fire numbs him down to his corethoughts dark and black like the raven's wingare warping the story that he's creatingThe noise in the room punctures his brainand the man on the page is driven insane
  7. Danny my friend! It has been so long, I am so excited to see you again! Thank you for checking in on me! I did write this as a poem, I have had a few poems turn into songs, but haven't considered this one yet. I was so excited to see you again, like the good old days in the Artist Cafe! Chaz, there you are, I am glad you still are giving me a visit friend! I had the birds peck out the eyes to show that she was blind to reality and only believed what she heard instead of trusting what she knows to be true. Sorry if that was a little harsh, but it was done intentionally! LOL! Ron and Kuya, thanks for looking this one over, I'm glad you liked it! Oxe - I always appreciate your visits and time friend, I am longing to read some of your art.....
  8. Your stories and writing are always exciting and well written Robert. I would love to see your stories in a book with rich, vibrant artist drawings. It is always a pleasure to read your work! Tammy
  9. Tricky rhymes Bring new joy to the reader and writer. LOVE THIS and so relatable! Wonderful flow, great write! Tammy
  10. kuya, Very emotional and visual, great descriptors. I like the write and the rhythm of it. The chorus for me doesn't sell the hook, you instead make the hook seem like it is "Take me Christ to my salvation" You might want to either consider changing the title of the song, or flipping the chorus Take me Christ, to my salvation, i can't take no more. Take me Christ, to my salvation. take me, take me, take me lord. I'm down, down, down, down, down so low. There ain't a thing, that's worth living for. I'm down, down, down, down, down so low. i'm as deep as you can go I'm down here in the shadows Sorry, I had a little melody in my head while I reconstructed the chorus, it is only an example and maybe you already have a melody in mind. It is just a suggestion to play to your hook/title. Keep or sweep, it is just a thought, but I like how emotive the write is. Tammy
  11. Really like this Ria, very visual. Let me see When there's going to be a new storm, Who'll escape and who'll stand till the end. This has a nice cadence and tells the underlying purpose for the write. I love the ocean comparisons, the only thing that confuses me is the very last line, the "door" image sort of doesn't fit in. That is just something to ponder, but I really enjoyed your thoughts and write on this poem. Thanks for sharing! Tammy
  12. Little Girl Lost by Tammy Jann © 2016 Little girl lost, but no surprise the vultures came when they heard your cries they laughed at you and pecked out your eyes what choice did you have but to believe their lies tripping, stumbling finding your way it's hard to move on when it seems safe to stay the shadows are watching you like you're their prey maybe it's time to admit you're afraid Little girl lost, stands on the edge an owl flew by with its wings outstretched so wise and calm it talked you back from the ledge and you grew the courage to keep moving ahead back on the path, the vultures came swooping and teasing and calling you names but this time you laughed, and it wasn't the same so they flew off to find someone else to maim.
  13. WONDERFUL!, The poetry it leaves behind is always the greatest gift, but I do know how you felt. Just a week ago, I left my purse in a shopping cart, I imagined so many scenarios and abductions of my personal belongings and luckily in the end, an honest employee found it and nary a thing was touched....But, I know the sense of loss and frustration! Loved the write and always appreciate your drops of humor! Always enjoy reading your works! Tammy
  14. Random regurge of a random sage Ahh, there lies the truth of us all....LOL Great write Larry! I really enjoyed it, especially the chorus and a very original idea! Would love to hear this all produced someday! Hope you are doing well, I am already counting the days to FAWM, I need to go back home...LOL Tammy
  15. Hey Gregg! What a wonderful medium and I really enjoyed hearing it read! I like what you have done, very sensory and the wind helped make it feel sad and full of longing... Great stuff! Nice to see you and hear you.... Tammy