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About SocaMos

  • Rank
    Muse In Training
  • Birthday 13/09/1955

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Earth (mostly) ThunderBay Ont. Canada area
  1. Jokes

    The problem with music these days ? To much sax and violins.
  2. Jokes

    Did you hear the one about the truck driver who swerved to avoid a child and fell out of bed ? He was dreaming.
  3. Jokes

    Q- Why don't Cannibals eat clowns ? A- They taste funny.
  4. Jokes

    Q- What is the definition of a gentleman ? A- A man who can play an acccordian. but doesn't.
  5. Jokes

    There's this guy. He's never had a wife or girlfriend He gets a well paid job semi-skilled job fresh out of high school Lives in an apt in his parents house for free Rides a bike so he doesn't have to pay for gas All he has for company is a dog and a dream. To one day own his own bar. Years go by and finally he saves enough money to buy his own bar outright, no mortgage no debts "free and clear". It's opening day. There are free munchies on every table and the first round is free. There is a good steady crowd all day and the guy is washing glasses at the bar with his dog at his feet. a fella walks up to the bar and asks the guy " Is that dog there for security? or what?" and the guy sez "Actually this dog can tell me what you do for a living" they wind up betting $20 about it. Then the guy wakes his dog and points to the other guy. The dog runs around the bar and sniffs the guy up and down. Then he jumps up on the bar knocks over a bowl of complimentry peanuts and lines them up into piles of 10 till he runs out of peanuts. Jumps off the bar, runs around to the owner and lays down at his feet again. The bartender sez to the guy "you are an accountant" Astounded the guy pays the $20. Another man sees this happen and again the bartender bets him and wakes the dog. Who again sniffs the guy up and down. This time he leaps up on the bar grabs a package of complimentry matches from a carton beside the cash register. Walks down the bar to a guy smoking a cigar and lights the pack of matches on the cigar. He tosses the burning matches on the floor, leaps down, lifts his leg, pee's on and extinguishes them. Then runs back around and lays down at the bartenders feet again The bartender says to the guy. "You're a fireman." This guy too is astounded and pays the $20 Then a voice from the back wall shouts "I'll bet you $50 your dog can't tell you what I do" The bartender thinks to himself. "He sounds pretty confident. but if i lose I really only lose $10." So he bets the guy and wakes the dog and points to the new guy. The dog walks up to the guy sniffs him up and down. Looks back at the bartender whimpers and then sniffs the guy again. He then jumps up on the bar howls "AAAOOO" and starts knocking drinks over and licking them up. The he howls "AAAOOO". He jumps down and goes from table to table eating all the free munchies. Then he jumps back up on the bar howls "AAAOOO" again, then goes to every woman in the place. and tries to hump each one's leg and/or climb up under their skirts for a lick. He jumps back up on the bar Howls "AAAOOO" one last time. Licks up the last of the drinks off the bar Then lays down again at the bartenders feet. The bartender stands there scratching his head for a while and finally says. "I guess you win buddy. What do? you do for a living ?" and the guy sez "I'm a musician" *it was originally "I'm a truck driver" when I stole it. But musician works better for me ;^)
  6. Jokes

    This was told to me by a French-Canadian fella in Timmons Ontario Canada in a thick accent. He told it in the first person. I didn't. When I stole it. Quebecois Jacques is "Drive da big truck" for a living. But Jacques is getting lonesome driving around by himself. So he think "I gonna get me a Pleace Dog" So he stops in the first town he comes to and finds a pet store. he asks the clerk "You got pleace dogs ?" and is told. "I'm sorry sir but we have no German Shepherds." "In fact all I have is this one dog and he's just a mutt." Jacques looks at this big shaggy friendly mutt and sez. "Him, he a good dog. I gonna buy that dog." so he does. Along with everything he could possibly need for it. He takes the dog outside and thinks. "I better take this dog for a walk or he gonna poop all over my Cab." He sees a little park in the center of the postcardy little town square and a tavern across from it. Takes the dog ties it up to a tree for shade. with enough rope to reach the fountain for water. Spreads pet toys out on the ground along with a food, doggy treats and chewbones. Then goes to the tavern for some "Suds an' grub eh" He's in there for about 20 minutes, when a cop comes in the door and asks. "Does anyone here own a big shaggy dog tied to a tree across the street." Jacques he sez "That's my dog eh." the cop sez "Sir. your dogs in heat." and Jacques he sez "No. He's not in heat. I put him in the shade." the cop thinks for a sec then sez "Yes, but your dog wants to, you know, breed." and Jacques he sez "No, No. He can breed I loosened his collar" unable to think of any other way to express himself to Jacques. The officer sez "you know your dog wants to..." followed by a crude (insert your own) gesture And Jacques Sez "Go ahead I always wanted a Pleace dog."
  7. Rhymes 8

    Heavy Breathing with snorts and with grunts with wheezing and coughing and cursing and sweats stabbing pain in arthritic knees are as nothing compared to the hurt of my feet oxygen starvation causing spots before mine eyes which are red, wet and runny which though unfocused can see that I'll never make it till they fix the bloody elevator topic - Weapons of mass instruction
  8. Rhymes 8

    In place of a family or really close friends he had only a string of mismanaged affairs no wife, no children and no real home he's truely a man who travels alone it has been said we are all alone but he doesn't miss what he's never known Topic - older not wiser
  9. Rhymes 8

    I've had my troubles and tragedy and i never let it get the best of me friends and pets have left my side yes its been a rocky ride I've held my ground my head held high and never once did I dane to cry <--sorry not sure how to spell it. dane or dain or dayn... lol but something must have gotten in my eye when my house went up in smoke topic - even better reheated
  10. I always keep a Halls cough drop in my cheek when I need to sing. The draw back is paying to have the tooth beside it filled every few years. I am a smoker and my throat is usually dry no matter the time of day. I'm not really recommending it for anyone else but for myself it works when nothing else does. Drinking water or anything else on stage makes me cough or choke at inappropriate times (like when i try to sing). On the other hand a shoot of B&B brandy will get me through 2 last encores on the Saturday night of a six night gig, but then I can't even talk till Monday. I guess the moral of the story is don't smoke. Peace on Y'all Darryl "SocaMos" Murray
  11. Rhymes 8

    the light at the end of the tunnel as seen on the day that we're born is the start of all of our problems till death seals the tunnel for all Topic - a snowball in ...
  12. Rhymes 8

    with pen in hand I sit, think and sigh all day and never write a damn thing down for I have naught to say Next - favourite bodily functions
  13. Rhymes 8

    Snowed in and smoking, on gods, good, herb, inside contrasts sharply with being outside where it's kinda like hell in reverse Next topic: "willingly suspending belief"
  14. If you could give just one

    It's me again. ;^) I had a gig in a newly reopened bar last Sunday night and something came up that reminded me of this post and things you shouldn't do. I got the call (from a band I've never met before) 3 hours before show time and when I got there with my stuff to set up. one of the guitar players was in the proccess of commiting a cardinal sin. He was arguing with and name calling / insulting the sound guy. I know the sound guy and managed to get him to not butcher the whole mix. But he had a great time playing with his effects toys and trying out wierd new settings with that guitar players sound all night. The moral of the story is "Don't p*ss off the sound guy". Peace on Ya Darryl "SocaMos" Murray
  15. If you could give just one

    I am one of those people that for some unknown reason have never experienced stage fright. I once worked as a janitor in a train station and that made me a little self conscious, but stage work is just like a casual conversation to me. Where I live I am the guy you call if you need a bassplayer and don't have time to rehearse. I am also a fulltime member in 4 different acts and play everything and anything. On stage I listen to everything always and because of this I can spot trouble coming before the fact and usually compensate. I try to keep close contact with everyone else on the stage by way of gestures, facial expressions and props. Anyone who zones out on stage knows I will be on them one way or another nyuk, nyuk "it's all part of the act". This may sound unpleasant but it isn't, it's Fun actually and it is appreciated by the people I work with and I have been thanked for it on many occasions. My point is. If it becomes work or stress instead of Play find something else to occupy your spare time. The serious part is done at home or in the studio. I carry a big red sponge clown nose in my bass case and I'm not afraid to use it. Peace on Ya Play safe, have fun and wash your hands before each set Darryl "SocaMos" Murray