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DonnaMarilyn

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About DonnaMarilyn

  • Rank
    A Muse's Muse

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Delft, Netherlands
  • Interests
    Photography, writing, films, literature

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Lyricist/melodist
  • Musical Influences?
    The Beatles, Moody Blues, Deep Purple, Pink Floyd, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, B.B. King, Judy Collins, Wishbone Ash, The Decemberists, Rogers & Hammerstein, Rachmaninoff, and many others in between, before, and after.

Recent Profile Visitors

27,984 profile views
  1. New features, including Blogs

    I like the hew logo design. Simple and efficient, and the touch of colour in the headphones adds an element of interest.
  2. Doesn't Make Sense

    This was one of my top three picks. Great lyric, with so much wonderful imagery. I especially love V3. Donna
  3. AMERICAN SONGWRITER WINNER

    Well done, Gary! And not a surprise.
  4. November 1+1 Winners Announced

    Cinnamon Love Piano/vocals: John Davey Lyrics: Donna Devine ('DonnaMarilyn') https://soundcloud.com/donmar-2/cinnamon-love-1/s-ndCnR V1 Morning light plays hide and seek On the hardwood kitchen floor You smile across your coffee As I watch you from the door Pre-chorus Your cinnamon-coloured eyes Glow like a holy grail And I recall Chorus The scented candle The moon last night How each kiss felt Like a sacred rite The willing bed The way I said Oh fill my life forever With your sweet cinnamon love Please fill my life forever V2 Morning light leaves nothing veiled While it dances on your hair It shows I’m not just dreaming As you watch me from the chair Pre-chorus Your cinnamon-coloured eyes Glow like a holy grail And I recall Chorus The scented candle The moon last night How each kiss felt Like a sacred rite The willing bed The way I said Oh fill my life forever With your sweet cinnamon love Please fill my life forever With your sweet cinnamon love Solo Chorus The scented candle The moon last night How each kiss felt Like a sacred rite The willing bed The way I said Oh fill my life forever With your sweet cinnamon love Please fill my life forever With your sweet cinnamon love © 2017 Donna Devine
  5. October Song Contest - RESULTS!

    Well done, Clint, David, and Triffid. All worthy winners. The first two were in my own top list of three, along with Brelizabeth's. Altogether a fine selection of contenders. I'm more than pleased with my own placing. Thanks, folks. Donna
  6. Darker Than Black

    Hi John, I get the somewhat oblique positivity in the verses (i.e. ‘it can always get worse’ kind of thing), but I feel the bridge contradicts that positivity. It seems to be saying that love is about as real as a unicorn, etc., even though it might be something we hang on to. Maybe consider re-thinking the bridge so that it actually is positive. Below is an eample of an option. Where love’s a sure thing Not like a mermaid or a unicorn A sasquatch or a leprechaun Otherwise, why would we hang on? I’d resplace 'sasquatch' as well. It’s a heavy, unappealing word, and doesn’t fit the tone of the other three examples. The sasquatch itself, being huge, lumbering, and hairy, is also completely unlike the ‘lighter’ and charming visual image of a mermaid, a unicorn, or a leprechaun. Plenty of ways the bridge could be re-worked. For instance, you could cut back on the examples (since there's plenty of imagery in the verses, and give us something direct and hard-hitting. I feel that would be more dynamic. Overall, though, a good concept, and a fairly tight write. My thoughts are just one person's opinion. Keep or sweep. Donna
  7. Where The Sun Keeps Shining Down

    So much to enjoy about this one. Others' comments regarding a couple of aspects may be pertinent, but I straight out loved the vibe of joy and positivity. The vocals are extremely pleasing and the music is wonderful. Good job, Clint.
  8. A Man I Don't Know

    Peko, this got a high mark from me. I love the concept of a nondescript person (the singer in this case) somehow becoming extraordinary when he (or she) picks up that guitar and begins to sing. And how the listener responds to that ‘transformation’. Very nice chorus.
  9. All Unicorns & Rainbows

    Bob, Peko, and SnarkyAnarky, thank you for your kind comments. I’m pleased you like the lyric. Bob, I take your point about ‘shade’ going with ‘darker hues’, and will think on it. However, I used ‘fade’ in order to set up a contrast to the colours and brightness that are associated with rainbows and unicorns. I was aiming for a kind of juxtaposition of meaning. But I’d be interested in hearing what others think in this regard.
  10. New logo

    If the original absolutely needs to go, and the choice is between these most recent examples, my preference would be for the first. It's the more cohesive of the two. In the second example, the word 'Muse' seems lost in the background. And indeed, thank you for the time and effort you're putting into the task, Brette.
  11. Anne got married without me (Oct Lyric contest entry)

    Songwolfe, I’ve not read the others’ comments, so hope there’s not too much – if any – overlap. I gave the lyric a high score in terms of it flowing well, the concrete imagery, the rhyming, and the poignancy – and surprise – when we get to the ‘Anne got married without me’ bit. Those lines broke my heart. I also scored it for its potential. So many possible plot-lines come to mind. Overall, I think there’s too much going on. It feels like two stories competing with other. One is in bridge and the other is in the verses & chorus. There’s also a disconnection between the immediacy of what’s happening in the verses, and the ‘reflection on things past’ theme in the bridge. Main things I’d suggest are: - decide on the precise story you want to tell (the narrator’s hard work in a factory, trying to earn enough to marry the girl he loves, or the fact that all the hard work was in vain, because the girl couldn’t/didn’t wait for him); -re-think the structure, bringing a the chorus in earlier - maybe make verse lines 7-10 a pre-chorus - shorten the bridge – make it dynamic so that the change-up is a surprise element and pulls the reader/listener along before she/he has a chance to resist. The bridge is arguably the hardest part of a lyric to write, and can make or break a song. I think you have the basis of a really good story, and you certainly have many fine lines (among others, I especially like bridge lines 3 & 4). It’s a matter of examining which line or image best supports the story you want to tell. And there are plenty of story possibilities. UPDATE: Can't believe it! I've just read Doug's comment, and I had exactly the same thought about the girl possibly having been pregnant. I didn't want to mention it in my own critique because I thought it might be too over the top. Anyway, it's certainly one of the storylines that could be followed up on, and that would help us to actually care - or care more - about either of the characters.. Anne got married without me (Verse 1) Steel metal clanging Hammers banging Dirt covering my scars, Steam pistons blazing Clocking my wage in Making honest money's hard. And I just got one thing To get me through the night Make enough money To go and make it right. Sounds as though something bad has happened. For the reader/listener, this sets up a compelling notion of intrique, but then the chorus is confusing because the ‘bad’ thing that happened (for the singer) is that the woman he loved married someone else, not something that - possibly - had happened beforehand. One then wonders what the ‘make it right’ and ‘once there were lies’ part is all about. (Verse 2) Steel-capped boots thudding Wind in the trees rustling Would the singer hear trees rustling amidst all the noise he’s already described? The sudden intrusion of this image breaks the mood. Shades covering my eyes, Mobile phone ringing Not clear what the phone has to do with this. Here I come bringing Not clear whether it’s an outgoing or an incoming call. Truth where once there were lies. Again, the allusion is to something bad. And I just had one thing That got me through the night Make enough money To go and make it right. (Chorus) The chorus comes in a little late, after two very long verses. And, to me, it doesn’t seem connected to or supportive of the story in the verses. Small town suburb Leaves of gold Paint's still new But the house is old Anne got married without me Anne got married without me. (Bridge) I feel the bridge is overly long, and has too much new information, much of which is actually verse material. In fact, the bridge is the antithesis of the tight, clipped verses and chorus, and is more confusing than enlightening. The mood of urgency, despair, and hurt changes suddenly to one of self-pity and reflection. But where do I start when the years have sped by? When unsaid thoughts have been hung out to dry These lines on my face are fresh to you But they're old history to me. We said that our love would stand the test of time But between the two of us we hadn’t a dime I said I’d earn money but I think we knew That the dream we had nurtured was past rescue. The ‘knew’/’rescue’ line sounds forced. (Chorus) Small town suburb Leaves of gold Paint's still new But the house is old Anne got married without me Anne got married without me.
  12. October Lyrics Contest

    Thanks, Iggy. Good grief! I don't know how I neglected to mention in my previous post how much I enjoyed your 'Every Day's a Fever'. It got a high mark from me. Your usual well-structured storytelling, honest emotion, catchy imagery, and easy flow guarantee that the lyric is going to sing well. And I liked the way you summed things up in the bridge.
  13. New logo

    Brette, that’s already a big improvement. Thanks for being open to suggestions. (I know it's not easy to nail a fitting design for a logo.) Like Carl, though, I’d like to keep the turquoise/green background. It’s a unifying element on the page. And while the newly proposed ‘handwritten’ font is better than the previous proposal, to me it lacks the appealing ‘playfulness’ and flow that’s in the original. Is it possible to have a font that’s closer in style to the original (but without the music notes if necessary)? (I think basically this is a case of ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’. But I take David’s point about the ‘G’ clef thing, and others possibly feel the same way.)
  14. Reason For Edit

    Tracy, I presume you're referring to the little 'Reason for edit' box that pops up each time you make an adjustment. I never respond to it. Would take too much time, given that I edit often, and at length. I think the pop-up box is just an automated thing that's built into the particular software. Perhaps it can be turned off at source. Donna
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