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jonie last won the day on May 2

jonie had the most liked content!

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About jonie

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    ooo xxx
  • Birthday 21/03/1954

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  • Location
    Reading, UK

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
  • Musical Influences?
    Beatles, Brill Building, Paul Simon, Irish pub singalongs and my dad singing Sinatra in the shower, to name but a few

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  1. jonie

    Collaboration Challenge: Emotional Impact

    Poor Moso, seriously and I guess unexpectedly bogged down with the 1st semester of a grueling academic course. I don't envy him. I let him off without a whimper, knowing from experience how hard it can be. Looking forward to collaborating with chaz, if we can make it happen. Looking forward to some great songs to come out of this as well.
  2. jonie

    Man Bun

    Just an idea for a coda A meme about a man bun? Should I give a shit? It's only hair and by the way My lady digs it
  3. jonie

    Collaboration Challenge: Emotional Impact

    Bleh, dig your pluck out of those mothballs, old chum.
  4. jonie

    Collaboration Challenge: Emotional Impact

    A list of emotions that doesn't include love and grief? How odd. Though I'm fine with that. Songs about love and grief have been overdone. I was just looking for clarification, SOK. This scoring method goes against the grain, so to speak, which is not a bad thing, just a different thing. If this works, I can see more opportunities for scoring not simply based on personal taste but on certain well defined aspects of a challenge. The whole idea of it is really growing on me.
  5. jonie

    Collaboration Challenge: Emotional Impact

    Just to clarify things for my aging brain - We are NOT to score based on how well we like the song but only on 1) whether or not we can identify the emotions in a song and 2) how well they were conveyed? So even if I'm moved by a song, the songwriters get no points if I'm moved by an emotion/s that the songwriters didn't intend on me feeling? I suppose, for those writing the lyric, a literal, rather than poetic presentation might work best if they are looking to score well in this contest. Me, being one of those literal minded people who generally isn't moved by a song I can't understand. I think Moso and I are on the same page in that we are going to focus on creating the best song we can and hope that it moves the listener in some way.
  6. jonie

    New Collaboration Contest: Emotional Impact

    In as a lyricist, if there's room.
  7. jonie

    No Present Like the Time

    Hi Patty, I won't belabor points already made by others except to say that I thought the metering was fine and the named places didn't bother me. First let me say that I fully see why your lyric was voted first place. It would have pulled at a lot of heartstrings and was well written. For me though, it came off as another "my Dad is great" lyric and its sentimentality was not entirely to my taste. I don't normally vote based on subject matter but, all other things being equal, I do go there. I voted it in the middle of the pack, for this reason. I thought it important to let you know why it didn't appeal to me (as I'd mentioned it in the Lyric Contest thread) so you didn't think there was something inherently wrong with it. There isn't, except where some improvements could be made, which you have already received great suggestions on how to do.
  8. jonie


    Glad you like it. Two very strong characters who constantly have me wondering who I should be rooting for. When I said chord changes I was referring to verses that don't mirror each other all. As in a verse and a bridge a lyricist claims are V1 and V2. There is no way to sing them to the same melody, where natural stresses can't possibly be adhered to and attempting to do so, results in unattractive vocal acrobatics. As they are all labeled as verses, one assumes in reading them that they will follow the same melody. Does it mean they will make a poor song? Not necessarily. I disregard my tendency to score lower for actual musicians such as fabkebab or Ironknee as I know they are more than capable of writing wonderful lyrics to their great songs, lyrics that don't follow a cookie cutter pattern, but even theirs will have an underlying rhythm and noticeable musicality. But as I said, this is a lyric contest and most lyrics are submitted by non musicians who don't have the luxury of throwing together something that appears unsingable, unique as it may be. It needs to convey a rhythm all on its own or else there remains little more than subject matter to judge.
  9. jonie


    Yes, for me, flow and meter verse to verse and throughout are key. If they're missing, I will generally score lower. It can work in a song if the musician has enough chord changes to go around but this is not a song contest.
  10. jonie


    Personally, I think they should just run this contest for the fun of it and forget the cash prizes. Less contention over the results and all. Oh wait! They already do!
  11. jonie


    Congratulations to Patty and Robert K. I'll have to go read Patty's a few more times. I didn't score it at the top and must surely have missed something. I had Robert's Catch Me on the Rebound and Kuya's How Bad You Got the Blues tied for my 1st place. I found them both unique in subject matter and could hear them both easily fitting with music. Well crafted and clever. Good job, guys. I had a bunch in my second slot as I felt all were worthy: Feeling Like Medusa, Comic Girl Life, Wanda Saves, Sun is King, Evening Echo, Miss Green and I Don't Want to Dream Tonight. 25 lyrics. Wow. Thank you to the voters who liked All I Want to Do (Woo Hoo). It was fun to write and I still chuckle when I think of poor Eddie and Danny running out of that bank wondering what the hell happened to their getaway car.
  12. jonie

    This Highway

    I got to the end and was glad to know I'd guessed right about what the lyric was about. First time I've ever read a lyric that demonized highways and the interstates, but they are certainly deserving. They've helped to destroy so much of middle America. I love the flow and rhythm of it and all without an end rhyme until 4th gear. Kudos for that. Not easy to do. And two killer lines at the end of 3rd and 4th gear (naming the different musical and lyrical movements as gears is quite clever, to boot) I can see nothing to nitpick. I liked it and think it will make a great song.
  13. Hi Hobosage, Yes, it's a true story about a boy who lived in the next row of apartments, in the same housing project I did during my teen years. The part about his uncle abusing him? I'm not sure, though the man was dodgy and boys who abuse animals are surely damaged themselves, often as a result of being abused in some way. I remember sitting on my front stoop with a friend when one of these burned kittens stumbled up to us. The sound the poor creature made - I can't even describe it. And the smell. It died in a shoe box about an hour later. 50 years and I still can't get that kitten out of my mind. The boy either. The younger me had only sympathy for the kitten. The older me understands that human nature is complicated.
  14. jonie


    Welcome to the Muse. I'm reading prose here, rather than a lyric, or at least not one that I can discern and there is no formal or even loose lyrical structure and there's an absence of rhyme, though I read through a couple of time to see if I could find some internal rhyming. There is a hint of some and I've colour-coded those I can hear, but I'm mostly hearing vowel matches and I feel as if some of it might be accidental. I have no clue what underground Australian music is. Is it like rap (which usually has quite a bit of rhyming)? If you can provide a link to the instrumental you are using, I could have a listen and see how your words might fit in. I don't understand the content but enjoy the metaphor. Sorry I can't be of more help.
  15. jonie

    In These Golden Days

    Thanks, OWLR. Like I said, this one rolled out pretty quickly. It's yet to take the shape and content it will end up with. It's not really about old age, though "golden" surely lends itself to that interpretation. ( I will probably change that) I was thinking more about depression and dissatisfaction with life as an adult living in western society. The need for more stuff we think will eventually lead to happiness because advertisers tell us it will. How can we feel such a lack of satisfaction when we live in such a golden time as the 21st century? Maybe the answer lies elsewhere. In ourselves and in each other, maybe? And what in the world is better than a kiss? That's the rough thinking. Now I need the lyric to say it. The gottas are intentional. I've been trying to make that repetition thing work from the first time I listened to Leonard Cohen's "Everybody Knows". I figure I'm bound to crack it one day, if I keep at it. Thanks for your insights and impressions.