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About HoboSage

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  1. HoboSage

    September Song Contest

    In case you were wondering, the gal in the song by Dave (GocartMoz) posted above, is the sister of the gal I sing about in this song. <heh-heh> Psycho Bitch * If you click on the music player icon that looks like a musical note with horizontal lines to the right of it, you'll bring up the lyric.
  2. While the additional hi-hats/cymbals can be (and probably should be) away from dead center, the kick+snare pattern, and the bass, should all be panned dead center. The additional cymbals should not be so loud relative to the kick+snare volume level - you want a better balance for the the whole "kit" than what you have now. The bass needs to be a lot louder than it is - it's barely audible. The vocals need to be a lot less loud than they are. Again, you want the whole mix to sound better balanced. The backing keys sound good. Just my opinions.
  3. HoboSage

    Even Though

    A solid oldies pop-rock tune, both lyrically and musically. Kudos to you (and Patty). I think it's a pretty good mix. However, while I get that, for the oldies vibe, the very healthy dose of reverb on just about everything might be appropriate, I don't think you should have so much f/x on the bass. To my ears, the bass sounds too boomy and "wide" in the mix, and it makes the vocals and everything else harder to hear clearly. A second, higher backing harmony vocal to make the harmonies three-part, would sound sweet. If there's a third one already, It's not really cutting through. David P.S. I think you sing the lead vocal here in a lower register than other songs of yours I've heard. Whether because of the lower key, or the laid-back vibe of the tune, or both, I think your voice sounds really good here.
  4. HoboSage

    Broken Man

  5. HoboSage

    Broken Man

    For the chorus, I think it might be better to move from the past to the present, and not mix up the timeline. I also think a stronger contrast between the younger you and you now might be cool too. Maybe something like this: I used to be so rad not afraid of breaking bad to keep my head above the sand and if need be, take a stand I did it all without a plan and with no one's helping hand now here I fucking am a pathetic broken man Keep or sweep. P.S. Rogers is playing, YAY! GO PACK GO!
  6. HoboSage

    Best Movies Related to Music

    I confess that I posted this recommendation hoping you in particular would watch the film, given your other post elsewhere expressing a bit of disillusionment that no one seems to care about the songs you've been doing. I hope you found it at least somewhat encouraging, Andrew. I did.
  7. HoboSage

    Best Movies Related to Music

    I just now finished watching the documentary Searching For Sugar Man on Netflix, and had to post to tell y'all about it. An amazing true story. You really never know how your music might touch someone . . . somewhere. A must see for every songwriter. It's only 100 minutes long. So, if you have Netflix (at least in the U.S.A.), watch it! P.S. SPOILER ALERT: Dont' Google it or search for it on Youtube, or commentors will spoil the story for you.
  8. HoboSage

    In Time

    Every other line is about we/us.
  9. Welcome, Nicholas. I think this a beautiful song, and the "prayer" theme is one I return to again and again myself, because I have issues goddamn it! Do you have to use such heavy pitch correction on the vocal? Man, for me, the robo-vocal ruins this. Androids don't express emotion. Vocal harmonies would be a sweet build for later choruses - but I suppose not if they are also heavily pitch corrected. Grrr. David P.S. I'm not against pitch correction per se - even in heavy doses - if it works well for the particular song. I don't think it does here. Just my opinion, Bro.
  10. HoboSage

    Home is You

    LOL That was the only way I could think of off the top of my head to show an internal rhyme. I'm glad you think it works. I'll use it from now on too.
  11. HoboSage

    Home is You

    Actually, each of the two verses use an A-A-B/B-C rhyming scheme, because the word ending the first half of the comma-separated "compound phrase"comprising the third line, is an internal rhyme to the final word in the second half of the third line (i.e., apart/heart and say/okay), making it okay that the ending word in the regular fourth line stands on its own without a rhyme. In my opinion, it works, it's cool, and reflects some pretty sophisticated wordsmithing - or at least it could with the right music and vocal.
  12. HoboSage

    When the Ravens Call *updated 9-6-18*

    To get that true Iommi sound, you'll have to shred left-handed, Bro.
  13. HoboSage

    When the Ravens Call *updated 9-6-18*

    I don't know if you did it intentionally, but what I dig most about this and what makes it work for me is that you only reference crows in the verses and the new bridge, while only ravens are referenced in the choruses, and that's really cool and, for me, important, because, though they're related, crows and ravens are different birds.
  14. HoboSage


    I really don't know, Mike. I don't write music to lyrics, but only lyrics to music, and again, it all depends on the music and vocal melody I want to sing to that music that determines how much of a change, if any, to a second verse I would want - and that's not something I think can be predicted without knowing the music. I certainly do not make such changes in all my songs - probably not even the majority of them. So, If I was a lyricist looking for a musician to add music to my lyrics, I would see the utility of using a more consistent structure for the verse lyrics. In any event and either way, I do think it is kind of "a big deal."
  15. HoboSage


    B.S. I have said that when writing to existing music, and depending on the music/song, a second verse can be an opportunity to "build" the arrangement by changing the second verse lyric structure significantly from that used in the first verse.