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UnitedByRhyme

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About UnitedByRhyme

  • Rank
    Contributing Muse
  • Birthday 07/11/1999

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Tasmania
  • Interests
    Rapping, listening to Australian rap music, talking shit

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Lyrics
  • Musical Influences?
    Mat Rafle, Kogz, Complete, TPW, Urthboy, Thundamentals, Jane Tyrrell, Kerser, Rates, Tuka, Hilltop Hoods, Bliss N Eso, Savilian, Cheap Sober, Plutonic Lab, Phil Gektor, Jay UF, 360, Omac, Sever, Mysc, Muphin, Horrorshow, Adam Koots, Ciecmate, Bigfoot, Alex Jones, Montaigne, Lisa Mitchell, Sia, Vents, Briggs, Newsense

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  1. UnitedByRhyme

    Artificial Love

    Hey thanks, yeah this is perhaps the roughest draft of all time...i quite like it up until the 'I already do' line. Then I kind of dropped the ball. However i am currently working on an editted version, much much better (at least in my opinion). I hope to have it up soon for review, it has been a hard song to write because usually I try to stray away from the lovey stuff. I am finding it difficult to say what i want to say without making it too extreme or too apathetic. But coming along well the rewrite, should have it up soon. I just wrote tryna in the lyric so if i go to record it after a while i remember how to make it all fit. Ok i really liked this comment. Because that means its clear that the song definitely comes across as a communication complaint. But yeah...ok then the lack of anything else. Fair enough, i can see where you're coming from. Like i say not familiar with lovey stuff, but all I'm trying to express is the confusion, the stress etc. of talking with someone who tells you one thing but SHOWS another. In the rewrite I'll try to address all that, like i say finding the right words is a challenge and also the fact that I've gone for the no chorus approach. Anyway its always good to get feedback.
  2. UnitedByRhyme

    Best Mates

    Very relatable for me, having left everyone behind and moving to another state. Sad verse 3 though, especially after the excitement the character felt heading on his way to catch up with his best mate.
  3. UnitedByRhyme

    2am

    This is an impressive one, the more words the better in my book (bloody rappers). There was enough content to really say how you are feeling. But but but I think I have said this of your work before: don't know about the two choruses at the end. Maybe, as a suggestion, have the chorus through once at the end, the repeat this bit: In saying that the chorus was really good, Particularly this section, I like. Anyway yeah maybe dumb ideas and we all have our styles but if this is the direction you are taking I like where you're headed.
  4. UnitedByRhyme

    Artificial Love

    I'll get onto my crits later on guys. Nothing special, whipped it up in about 8.7 seconds last night. Tiny bit explicit. ARTIFICIAL LOVE Legit I wrote these bars last night underneath a waxing cresent moon Try'na make sense of where we're headed to I don't know you or claim to know what you're going through But I just need this off my chest like your tattoo Nah jokes but that line was too good not to use And please believe I'm not in this to offend you Hold up, let me calm down, take two I don't want to use the wrong words You still there? missel you still there? Shit I swear for a second there I thought I lost you I just don't want to look like I'm clinging onto a ledge that isn't there But fuck, guess I already do I already do Maybe you don't want to be hurt, I respect that, but it hurts me to not know where I stand in this episode Cause right now to me it feels like I'm try'na manufacture something more artificial than this instrumental And shit, I'm not try'na say we have to pick up the pace, let's take this more slow than Stranger In Moscow But we're not moving at all, kinda hard when our conversations only extend as far as 'how are you'? And there's so much I haven't told you, of course there is Cause I don't want to fuck this up before it has a chance to begin For starters the distance I kept quiet cause I'm not even sure if you noticed Anyway next I just wrote this down half heartedly like our communication stints, in a brief spur of creativity All I ask is your honesty, honestly, shut me down but I can't be left hanging like John Babbacombe Lee Ha I don't want to expose my heart, lower the armour to someone who could potentially rupture it We're human beings not machines but in my mind it's not you but a brick wall that I'm talking to But whatever LOL Upon rereading this it looks like some kind of dig, but I wrote it with a light heart and a humorous head That's true, and I'm not fit enough to run this treadmill any further, rapping doesn't make my muscles pop or respiratory system any stronger All it provides is a medium for me to vent through And I do Anyway, if you hear this, hit me up and I understand that I may have some explaining to do
  5. UnitedByRhyme

    Needs a title.

    first off Thanks for the detailled feedback. Yeah this is a common Australian phrase 'breaking strain'. As you said it is that second verse. Thats what im not happy with really, at least up to 'beauty on someone elses horizon'. I really feel like i rushed that last bit, i don't know but I just don't like it that much. Especially the whole trying to tie it in with My Angel, another track I did...i think i tried to pull off something there that wasn't really possible. I'm still fiddling with this one at the moment based on feedback I'm getting. I really don't want to get it wrong because its one I am really happy with. ☺
  6. UnitedByRhyme

    We're Signing In

    Thanks John Yeah I probably should have made it more clear, its really a sung bridge/chorus Im after for this one at the moment. The other rap verses can wait. Not too pop sounding. ..I'm thinking something like the chorus of Rubble Of The Past by Urthboy, the second one. What do you mean you've never heard of that song? Haha
  7. UnitedByRhyme

    Songwriting problems

    Best idea ever. I'll be using that one.
  8. UnitedByRhyme

    WHAT MIC TO BUY...

    Hi guys I'm wondering what kind of mics I should be looking at for good quality playback. Price range say...$300 - 400. I have done some research and visited stores myself but it would be helpful to know what everyone else is using. Thanks
  9. UnitedByRhyme

    We're Signing In

    I think I posted this in the wrong area before. Down the track I'd like to do some collab work with another rappish person (I'm far from ready right now). I feel like this could be a collab track, myself doing 2 verses and the other member another 2. But I feel like this one needs a chorus that I couldn't write. I feel like it needs a bridge section thats sung to build up to a really powerful chorus (without been too poppish). I was wondering if anyone had any inspiration upon reading. Also i need to tighten up some lines, like i say it came all at once.  I'm sure you guys know the feeling of wanting your lyrics to be perfect. I usually struggle to write because of 'perfectionists block' but Ive had a creative patch lately.im not saying what i write is perfect, but you know when you can't satisfy yourself with your own work sometimes? Lately I have been satisfying myself. That probably sounds egocentric but i don't mean it like that. I have no idea what I've even written about but it feels kind of monotonous and apocalyptic so i want a powerful chorus that contrasts that exactly, like a rebirth or something. Probably a female vocal but anyone who has an idea love to hear. And just thoughts, you might even be able to tell me what I've written about! I didn't mean to drag that out so much.VD. VERSE 1 Let me Engrave some words upon this page Inscriptions across a cave wall Could we be the prophecy that was foretold? The lyrics between these lines provide me with every breath I inspire Call them lifelines Call us the light at the end of the tunnel in these dark times The planets align And our arrival coincides with the departure of the night As the light tries to take back the grip it had in decades gone by And I just sit and I write And regardless of whether or not there's a beat there's magic in the words if you use them right A piece of paper signed by yours truly, Ashley Wright United By Rhyme ???BRIDGE/PRECHORUS 4 LINES CHORUS 4 to 8 lines  VERSE 2 One verse Can't suffice the advice I have to give and require And the abrupt conclusion to my first stanza required expansion So I'll transcribe my transcript And translate these cave paintings into modern day language Try to clear up this shit With this second verse allow us to continue to converse Rehearse these words and try expose the codes contained within this prose that I wrote INCOMPLETE V2. Maybe just a chorus no bridge here and a bridge again at the end of the fourth verse.
  10. UnitedByRhyme

    Tempt

    I don't think its too whiny, maybe it could come across that way depending on how its sung. I'm guessing heavy metal kind of sound? I'm not sure what it is about this line but its got me all hung up. Maybe in the context of the rest of the verse it really fits well. I like this rhyme as well. And if anyone suggests changingthat chorus don't touch it. If that is sung the way i play it in my head it could not be any better.
  11. UnitedByRhyme

    Echoes

    Hi Best bit by far. Do you need two choruses at the end? I know it's a pop thing but it is so easy to overuse a chorus and each time it loses impact... I feel wisps of confusion through the verses, if you're going for haunting/disoriented feel I think you've hit the mark. Overall a very haunting song.
  12. UnitedByRhyme

    Grey Love

    I'll do my crits later on tonight guys. I was digging through my old lyrics, I wrote this back in 2015. (I was 16). I HATE love songs generally...i just find them overused. This isn't really a love song though as you would expect. I don't know how to describe it. Its kind a rap/poem track. Its not on this mixtape I constantly ramble about. GREY LOVE V1 poemish We were both just teenagers She was fifteen, I was sixteen I was a Year 11 giving chase to a Year 10 She was divinity She walked with what appeared to be the weight of a thousand hungry eyes upon her back, yet she was unaware of her own captivating charms It was her eccentricities that my friends and I layed into that I was most attracted to She didn't seem like the other girls - she was exotic, something else entirely I was attracted to the mysteries she held within I didn't even know her but I knew she had the potential to rupture my heart and soul, my very essence and being CHO. I feel like I'm falling as a victim into her arms I'm just another casualty of a grey love I know I'd do anything just to feel her touch I craved the day the me and her became an us V2 poemish And...I could never forget those eyes They were of the most vivid blue and they appeared to be deep abysses which put the falling into falling in love I know I fell But...it was almost as if I was falling in love with a girl who wasn't there, a girl who didn't exist A girl who didn't know what love was or how to love She was just too caught up in her own crazy imagination She'd miss classes just to stand out in the rain for no apparent reason And the image in my mind of her just standing there, raindrops rolling over her face, her make-up running was enough to drive me off the borders of reality I was love sick, borderline obsessed CHO. I feel like I'm falling as a victim into her arms I'm just another casualty of a grey love I know I'd do anything just to feel her touch I craved the day the me and her became an us V3. Maybe female vocals? Bit cliche i know.... She drove me crazy, crazy, crazy She drove me crazy, crazy, crazy She drove me crazy, crazy, crazy She drove me crazy, crazy, crazy She drove me crazy, crazy, crazy She drove me crazy, crazy, crazy She drove me crazy, crazy, crazy She drove me crazy, crazy, crazy Baby, baby, baby, can't you see I'm crazy, crazy, crazy Things are getting hazy, hazy, hazy Can't you see I'm crazy, crazy, crazy For you Baby, baby, baby, can't you see I'm crazy, crazy, crazy Things are getting hazy, hazy, hazy Can't you see I'm crazy, crazy, crazy For you For you For you For you For you For you For you For you V3 cont. Rappish. Note the 'ish' The feeling of you warm hand in mine, and my warmth travelling into you, up your arm, enveloping you Filling you with a happiness so immense I see you smile for the first time and actually mean it And it's a contagious happiness which spreads over other faces, and I look into your eyes and no longer feel intimidated I feel at ease and no longer like a victim to the entrancing temptations emanating off your person I feel loved and adored, and the mystery you were yesterday has been solved, but the beauty you possessed still hasn't dissolved, it's still there, burning bright as ever And I love it, I soak it up like the heat of the sun, and you turn around with a smile and all your teeth are showing And the breath leaves my lungs And just a sudden end on that last line.
  13. UnitedByRhyme

    Dating song

    If you want another dodgy date suggestion what about the person who misleads you in their online profile and when you meet them in reality they're not what they portrayed themself to be? Not that I online date but I imagine it happens. Love the new chorus. You sure write a lot of humorous stuff.
  14. UnitedByRhyme

    This is my renaissance

    Great chorus on this one and the bridge. For some reason the chorus part about 'dancing on tapestries laid beneath our bare feet' made me think of dancing on corpses which was pretty grotesque and I think you've done a great job of imagery. I enjoyed the read.
  15. UnitedByRhyme

    We're Signing In

    Hey guys I was revising untitled (potentially Dear Gran or Endure as suggested) and this kind of came to me. Completely unrelated but it just flowed out. Down the track I'd like to do some collab work with another rappish person (I'm far from ready right now). I feel like this could be a collab track, myself doing 2 verses and the other member another 2. But I feel like this one needs a chorus that I couldn't write. I feel like it needs a bridge section thats sung to build up to a really powerful chorus (without been too poppish). I was wondering if anyone had any inspiration upon reading. Also i need to tighten up some lines, like i say it came all at once. I'm sure you guys know the feeling of wanting your lyrics to be perfect. I usually struggle to write because of 'perfectionists block' but Ive had a creative patch lately.im not saying what i write is perfect, but you know when you can't satisfy yourself with your own work sometimes? Lately I have been satisfying myself. That probably sounds egocentric but i don't mean it like that. I have no idea what I've even written about but it feels kind of monotonous and apocalyptic so i want a powerful chorus that contrasts that exactly, like a rebirth or something. Probably a female vocal but anyone who has an idea love to hear. And just thoughts, you might even be able to tell me what I've written about! I didn't mean to drag that out so much.VD. VERSE 1 Let me Engrave some words upon this page Inscriptions across a cave wall Could we be the prophecy that was foretold? The lyrics between these lines provide me with every breath I inspire Call them lifelines Call us the light at the end of the tunnel in these dark times The planets align And our arrival coincides with the departure of the night As the light tries to take back the grip it had in decades gone by And I just sit and I write And regardless of whether or not there's a beat there's magic in the words if you use them right A piece of paper signed by yours truly, Ashley Wright United By Rhyme ???BRIDGE/PRECHORUS 4 LINES CHORUS 4 to 8 lines VERSE 2 One verse Can't suffice the advice I have to give and require And the abrupt conclusion to my first stanza required expansion So I'll transcribe my transcript And translate these cave paintings into modern day language Try to clear up this shit With this second verse allow us to continue to converse Rehearse these words and try expose the codes contained within this prose that I wrote INCOMPLETE V2. Maybe just a chorus no bridge here and a bridge again at the end of the fourth verse.
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