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Hotshelrae

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    12
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About Hotshelrae

  • Rank
    Muse In Training
  • Birthday December 23

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    https://www.reverbnation.com/liquidchknstudios?profile_view_source=header_icon_nav

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Denton, TX
  • Interests
    Songwriting Singing

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Both
  • Musical Influences?
    Blues and some southern rock and some country

Recent Profile Visitors

162 profile views
  1. Hotshelrae

    Short Changed

    Patty, after reading through all all of the revisions posted, I love your edited version. The story line flows nicely. As a reader/listener, I’m not left with what happens next. Kudos for a great re-write!
  2. Hotshelrae

    Young love - lyric critique

    I started out writing this song about young love. My daughter has her first real boyfriend (she is 15). As I started observing their behavior, it reminded me how strong memories of your first love are and how those memories stick with you as you get older. I tried to to take this from 16 to present day... i would like to know if the story makes sense, if the timing is right, if it’s too cliche or redundant etc. it it definitely has a country feel to it (at least that is what I hear melodically). Thanks for any feedback you can provide. You told me that you loved me Underneath that old oak tree spent all our time together We were young and carefree But One thing led to another and we went our separate ways It always left me wondering Would we meet again some day Chorus There was something about our chemistry underneath that old oak tree tree The day you told me that you loved me is still my favorite memory Time stood still that day many years ago Love was so much easier when we were 16 years old Verse 2 A few years after college love found me once again He didn’t have much money but he gave me all he had Flowers for no reason or a love note to unfold But it didn’t match the oak tree when I was 16 years old Chorus There was something about our chemistry underneath that tree The day you told me that you loved me is still my favorite memory Time stood still that day many years ago Love was so much easier when we were 16 years old Verse 3 A few years had passed and we met once again At an old dive bar with a bunch of friends One thing led to another as our stories were being told We couldn’t shake the love we had when we were 16 years old
  3. Hotshelrae

    Broken Lullaby

    Thank you for your comments. And Stevie nicks and Tom Petty are two of my favorite artists. Your suggestion would work for our band as we do have a male vocal. The song choice diet you mentioned was a perfect example. I’ll have a listen to see if it would work... also, thanks for the technical note. Being new I wasn’t sure how to post an amendment. Dually notes for next time.
  4. Hotshelrae

    Broken Lullaby

    Here is my first attempt at a re-write... Verse 1 One more night, another fight Two wrongs never make a right Can’t seem to think, We’re on the brink Face to face and we won’t blink Standing tall, wont change our minds Our worlds will soon collide It’s plain to see we’ve lost our way There is nothing more to say Chorus Who’s wrong who’s right Does it matter anyway We’re both to blame, tired of this game You won’t bend, I won’t break Is it too late to change our fate On Broken wings we can’t fly So goes our broken lullaby Verse 2 Shadows dance inside my head This is how we’ve made our bed No way out, nowhere to hide When did our love die Memories can’t sustain Only heartbreak remains Will I stay or will I go The heart only knows Chorus Who’s wrong who’s right Does it matter anyway We’re both to blame, tired of this game You won’t bend, I won’t break Is it too late to change our fate On Broken wings we can’t fly So goes our broken lullaby Verse 3 We’ve climbed so high only to fall With no compromise we lost it all The way was long the journey done This is what we have become A two way street, is where we meet Can’t turn back, time to retreat Bridge Our lullaby was beautiful and sweet A tone to lull a baby to sleep Years went by and our song turned cold We can’t fix it, we’re both too old
  5. Hotshelrae

    Broken Lullaby

    Ty, thank you you so much!! This is very helpful and I like your changes very much. And your thoughts on they tension not carrying through, I didn’t see the first write through. Thanks for thebfeedback.
  6. Hotshelrae

    Broken Lullaby

    Patty, Thank you for your words. This is one of the reasons I am here. To learn and grow. Great food for thought!
  7. Hotshelrae

    Broken Lullaby

    Kuya, Thank you for your advice. I didn’t think about the lines being used often. I will definitely take a second look now. Maybe there is a better way to get my point across.
  8. Hotshelrae

    Broken Lullaby

    Mike, I totally agree with the harder I climb. Makes much better sense. I also agree with removing a few unnecessary words... I have an idea of a melody but nothing firm yet.
  9. Hotshelrae

    Broken Lullaby

    Good evening all, This lyric is very personal. It’s about an internal struggle to give up something that I love. An internal fight. The broken lullaby is the soft voice in my head that tells me to stay the course, but my head says give it up. As I am new to this forum, I would appreciate any critique to help me spin this story so that the meaning is understood. It’s a work in progress. Still working on the bridge. Verse 1 One more night, another fight Two wrongs don’t make a right Can’t seem to think, I’m on the brink Face to face and I won’t blink Standing tall, speaking my mind It’s all about to unwind What do I Do, I stop to say I’m throwing it all away Chorus Who’s wrong who’s right Does it matter anyway I’m to blame and tired of this game You won’t bend And Then I break Is it too late to unseal my fate Broken wings and I can’t fly Another broken lullaby Verse 2 Shadows dance inside my head Say my relationship is dead No way out, nowhere to hide My love for you has died Memories can’t sustain Only heartbreak remains Will I stay or will I go The heart only knows Chorus Who’s wrong who’s right Does it matter anyway I’m to blame and I’m tired of this game You won’t bend And Then I break Is it too late to unseal my fate Broken wings and I can’t fly Another broken lullaby Verse 3 I’ve climbed the tallest peak No higher can I reach The way was long the journey done Oh What have I become The higher the climb the harder your fall Wondering Have I lost it all A two way street, is where we meet This only ends in defeat Thanks in advance.
  10. Hotshelrae

    Bring It to the River

    Donna, I love good gospel music. You definitely have a solid lyric here. And I can hear the choir’s echo. Very well done and nicely placed. I dont have have much of a critique. I like the song the way it is. Kudos! Usually the best songs are the ones that don’t take very long to write.
  11. Hotshelrae

    Dreaming out Loud

    Good evening Mike, This lyric is laid out very well. There is a nice bounce to it. Great job on foot and meter. I don’t get the bashful clown lyric. I dream out loud as loners often doImagining romance with just me and youI'm just a silly love struck bashful clown Whose need for love makes me to dream out loud maybe instead, I dream out loud as loners often do imagining romance with just me and you A stroll on a beach or a night in town This need for love makes me dream out loud keep or sweep it. Overall, you have spun a good story. Thank you for sharing.
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