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9thStLine

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9thStLine last won the day on March 30

9thStLine had the most liked content!

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About 9thStLine

  • Rank
    Contributing Muse

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Austin
  • Interests
    Guitar, piano, drums, bicycling, hiking, drawing

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Both
  • Musical Influences?
    Dylan, J. Mitchell, G. Lightfoot, B. Taupin, lots of others

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  1. Sorry to drag up old threads, if that sort of thing is frowned on. I just had to say how cool to see Eric Taylor mentioned. The guy is so damn good. You'll never hear one of his on top 40 radio, way too exceptional for that. I hope I'm quoting this correctly, going from memory, but I find this utterly amazing. "I Heard about the rivers in those Texas towns Beware the swift current and the cottonmouth I heard about the muddy water and the poison tooth But I never heard a word about you" Eric Taylor
  2. 9thStLine

    Rhymes 8

    The first woman on Mars Shan't be a man Nor longer an Earthling be But only a Martian Next topic: Mandolin
  3. 9thStLine

    Five-and-Dime

    This has a haunting quality that works for me. And told so consisely, I like it. Brings to mind John Lee Hooker's blues song about the great flood of Tupelo, Mississippi. I've thought the historic flood of Johnstown, PA would make for an epic song. A truly nightmarish event, trapped berween a raging debris filled river and a sprawling oil fire, but I digress. Nice job.
  4. 9thStLine

    Two Against the World

    Thanks for the comments Patty,, Malcolm, and Mick. At first I considerd making the lyric more directly about the elderly couple I saw, they were quite a pair. The line about feeling invisible, tattered, these kind of feelings, came from that inspiration, and I also feel these emotions, as a matter of fact! I think there's a compelling song in thier story, for a gifted writer to tell.. In the end, I decided that the music I had going didn't really fit that story, so I was attempting to make a more universal, general world weary theme. A busy world that takes no notice, kind of thing. It's a new lyric, and a challenging one for me. I'm never going to out image the imagery gurus, or out poetry the poets, it's just not in my wheelhouse, though I admire those skills, and feel like this song needs that type of voice. I will try and dial back some imagery and come up with more concrete and focus on this one. Bear with me, though, I'm kinda slow, and always have bunches of lyrics/ songs in the works. It's a pretty melody, I need to get something before it falls by the wayside. Always a danger. Ed
  5. 9thStLine

    Two Against the World

    Wow, thanks for the in depth critique, and comments, DM. Good points, a lot to consider. It's a different style than I usually write, when I have more time, I will consider your comments more thoroughly. Thank you! Ok, I'm back. It's the age old dilemma, keep a melody intact, or add words, details, to 'show don't tell', strengthen the lyric, and in the process, futz the tight melody. I think an argument could be made that the music/ melody is the main thing that catches the listener, and lyrics are a distant 2nd. Some melodies have more leeway as well. A red dirt country line for example, where adding a syllable or 3 can easily be worked in with phrasing, and no one cares, because the melody is a generic one. But, for me anyway, a great melody is THE most elusive aspect of songwriting. If I believe I've found a good one, I assign a high priority to keeping it intact. And nothing can wreck a melody like too many words. Details and specifics, generally, require more words. I know you and others already know all this, but I had to get it off my chest! And I know the lyric still needs work, you make valid points, though I like some of the imagery I have in the lyric. I'll keep grinding on this one and try and get a Ver.2 up. Thx again. Other comments still welcome. Peace. Ed
  6. 9thStLine

    Two Against the World

    Hi Mike, thx for the reply. Again, it's a figure of speech to convey a world weary emotion. Are you looking for more conflict? What I really like about the line "Two Against the world babe" is the way it sings and fits my melody, but I do like the line, as a metaphor for staying with someone through the trials. But, if It's not working for you, as presented, that's good to know. Thx, man.
  7. 9thStLine

    Two Against the World

    Yeah, I can understand your point. I was hoping by repeating 'You and I' 3 times that would be apparent who was against the World, and as a payoff of sorts. I supose it could be 'We're two against the world" to keep the pronouns straight. I think I like that. Again, thx for the feedback.
  8. 9thStLine

    Heard You Leaving REVISION 3

    Another great lyric, Donna. Your revisions have really made the lyric stronger. Fwiw, I thought of this line for last line in V1. " Across the tell tale hardwood." The stockings v sock feet thing is a hoot. If you believe in sock feet stick with them I say. A more familiar phrase might be. "In your wool socks down the stairs" Loved the bridge. Footfall, awesome, didn't know that word. Quick as lies, killer.line. Best of luck with this lyric.
  9. 9thStLine

    Two Against the World

    Thanks BarneyBoy! Well, It's a figure of speech, not meant as literal. 2 characters, you, and I. Sometimes referred to as we. Seriously, appreciate the input.
  10. 9thStLine

    Two Against the World

    I've recently had cause to visit the ol doc lately. Yeah, bummer! Anyway on one trip to the medical complex I spotted this little old man who could barely walk on his own, pushing his wife, also a frail elderly lady, in a wheelchair, in for her appointment. It kind of put my problems in perspective, and I came up with this title. I drew on that couple, as well as the lady in my own life as inspiration for this lyric. To that extent, this one is for Kay! I have a piano ballad going for this and hope to have a demo soon. Thought I'd run it up the totem pole and see if it garnered any interest. Obviously the lyric is more prose style with a minimal rhyme scheme. Comments, suggestions welcome and appreciated, and thanks for reading. Ed Two Against the World V1 We're Two against the world Holding on to each other When you’re feeling small And invisible In a world so careless To pass on---- by----- Two against the world babe You and I V2 Two lost tattered souls We followed one another Like two ships in a storm We’ll find a way on Only stars to guide us Through the longest---- night----- Two against the world babe You and I Bridge Of all the lonely faces In a world too blind to see Too weary to hear Some sad refrain When nothing stays---- the same, oh V3 I believe in us And since we found each other There's a flame in a life A ray to warm me Shining through like a rainbow In a cloudy---- sky----- Two against the world babe You and I *voc round* Holding on to each other Two against the world You and I Holding on to each other Two against the world You and I
  11. 9thStLine

    Crash To The Ground

    Despite the odd structure, I could kind of hear the song in this. I agree, prob hurt the score, but good on you for not caring. For me, the title metaphor didn't fit as well as something else might. As in, back on the ground would refer to becoming settled or centered, and your using it in the opposite. Might have preferred something like, Crashed into the Ground, Face Down on the Ground, Down on the Ground. Passed out on the Ground , ha. 2 cents Good strong start though, and story throughout. I'm curious what you're doing musically with the extra long 4th section?
  12. 9thStLine

    Always Believe (Something Wonderful)

    Like the song says...always believe!
  13. 9thStLine

    Comic Girl Life

    Fwiw, I scored this higher than it ended up. Quirky, original, and vague, but in a good way. Open ended. Fun. I agree with some comments, ending could have been stronger, given your intent. Yeah, I thought "derring do" was some kind of Brit-speak. Nice job, maybe just a rework of the end. Ed
  14. 9thStLine

    Always Believe (Something Wonderful)

    I rated this in the middle of the pack. Not bad, by any means, but found the lyric too sweet, trite, an over used, nothing new theme, and thought the couplet rhymes lent a sing songy, cliched tone to the work. Having said that, there is always a place for a life affriming lyric like this one somewhere, the positive message was a break from the usual songwriter angst, and I wish you the best with it. Reading your lullaby plans for the music could work well with this one. Ed
  15. 9thStLine

    No Present Like the Time

    Your lyric was one that everytime I re-read it, the score improved. I liked the obscure places, they grew on me, and lent originality to the piece. My only complaint would be as mentioned with some clarity issues which dad, which son etc. I get it, in the reading, but ime, if things are murky when reading, than a performer would have their work cut out to get it effectively across to the listener. Maybe in a quiet folk setting. Well done and congrats on the contest. Ed
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