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Kerry Parr

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Kerry Parr last won the day on November 13

Kerry Parr had the most liked content!

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About Kerry Parr

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    Contributing Muse

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    https://m.facebook.com/Attic-Salt
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Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Both
  • Musical Influences?
    Dylan, Cohen, Cave, Oberst, Dulli, Cobain, Phillips (Grant Lee and John), too many to list really.
  1. Planes Trains And Automobiles

    It's a fun, engaging lyric but (and I'm sure this just comes down to personal taste) the "make-up sex" premise (or at least how it's so bluntly stated) makes it less endearing to me.
  2. Solid Evidence

    Don't know about that, it's hardly enough for Trump and Moore supporters. Even so, it wasn't that long ago that Cosby fans were clinging to his innocence until he basically admitted it and whether this will be a long term trend or just a passing fad is hard to say.
  3. Connie

    I want to echo Paul's point but also add - What does "feeling only half way there without you" have to do with being "electrifying" or vice versa? I feel like you could use some wordplay here, i.e. "I'm blinded by the light around you" or "you blow out my fuse" or something.
  4. Solid Evidence

    Looks pretty "solid" Couple minor nits - "then seven, eight, and nine come out" line throws off the feel (at least how I'm hearing it), seems like a tacked on line that doesn't rhyme with anything except maybe "the victim count" that's in the middle of a separate verse? If it works with the music in your head, no worries The other part "spider crawls back in his crack" makes me think of him crawling back in his own asshole, which could be an interesting double meaning but I thought I'd give fair warning if that's not something you want to pop into some peoples' heads. Nice job though and I definitely dig the message
  5. "Superkettle" / "Ten and Out"

    I'm having a hard time figuring out what's going on here beyond a boxing match or something taking place. "Noses stuck up at I" seems like a weird way to say it, especially since "me" would have rhymed with "see". It seems like you dropped using a rhyme scheme after the 3rd line until the middle build before it drops again which is confusing. The second song is tidier and evokes a certain mood but is still a bit ambiguous.
  6. Can't Do This Anymore

    Pretty sure the music is just Band in a Box's Real Tracks . Nothing wrong with that, I've been using it myself lately since my band is in a bit of disarray but the sound selection is pretty limited even considering the "thousands" they have to offer. You could get Biab yourself and tweak it to your liking or just use parts like the drums and bass and record the rest. Dunno, just something to consider
  7. Soul so Lost

    Ah the "baby's" means "baby, is" - got it. It looks possessive, grammatically, instead of a contraction - this the confusion. And yes, I would drop those 4 lines and just repeat the 1st 4 if you need.
  8. RED

    It's a really good write, especially for 10 minutes but I have to agree there's going to be only a small cross section who are going to care about a skin condition. Even if it were a weightier topic like cancer, even those afflicted probably don't want to hear a song specifically about it. It can work for a verse as an example of one of the trials people go through but not much beyond that, imo. And if you hadn't explained you were trying to make the connection of the 2 meanings of "red" I'm not sure i would have picked up on it. As a pun, it's not that affecting anyway. That's why I was thinking it was better to explore the idea of one's physical appearance, as unattractive as it might be, to be the best there is - as a way to rebut the notion that there's something deeper.
  9. Soul so Lost

    There's some colloquial phrasings that I'm not familiar with. "Sitting all down" (why all?)"oh baby's ya man wasted gone" (huh?) Wait, I think I got it "oh baby, your man's wasted gone" (but why is it a question?) I like some of the lines, ie "my heart's filthy bleeding", "was I sweating for bread or hustling beer?" but there are other lines that seem a bit ordinary or out of place. My biggest suggestion would be to cut the last 4 lines off the chorus as the first 4 are the strongest and say all you need.
  10. My American Hero

    Yeah, that "at ease" part I suggested could be taken for "always uneasy" as opposed to "never at rest" which is more what I was thinking of at the time. I think it could still work in that a lot of soldiers have difficulty adjusting to civilian normalcy but that may dig in deeper than you want to go. Maybe if that "at ease, soldier" phrase was more clearly implied somehow? Idk.
  11. Exhale

    Thanks. I think 6/8 technically and Bm, though this is back in the day when we just tuned our guitars to each other with no stable reference so I'm certain it's about a half step down. It was just recorded in my parents garage on one of those 4 track cassette machines with cheap mics and bad room reflections. Not to mention it's been transferred and reprocessed through so many different formats over the years, I'd just like to get it at better quality while hoping I don't lose too much of the magic that happens when songs are still fresh.
  12. Exhale

    Thank you very much I often have difficulty labeling which parts are which. I was trying to figure out if that first part would be considered a verse or if the lines before the chorus is part of the verse or prechorus but I like how you have it sectioned, I didn't even consider intro or outro. I might have to tag you in my even more difficult to assign songs
  13. RED

    I'll come back later when I have more time as well but to me, this is what really stuck out for me. I think this sentiment is what it should be anchored on.
  14. Exhale

    Thanks SFX. You're name just reminded me of the first name of my band, XSXFX.
  15. Exhale

    Thanks Jim, much appreciated.
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