Jump to content

James L Kleinheksel

Members
  • Content count

    113
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

James L Kleinheksel last won the day on October 4

James L Kleinheksel had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

6 Neutral

1 Follower

About James L Kleinheksel

  • Rank
    Active Muse
  • Birthday 17/07/58

Contact Methods

  • Facebook
    James L Kleinheksel

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Michigan
  • Interests
    Writing Song Lyics - Listening to music

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Lyricist
  • Musical Influences?
    Country, Outlaw Country, Rock, Dark

Recent Profile Visitors

154 profile views
  1. Her Face More Lovely

    Please read this very slowly, which is the way it would be sung. Her Face More Lovely James L Kleinheksel © Copyright 2017 My eyes at dusk in Paris Saw her gently Move across my dream My mind stirred rather slowly As I tried to take in Her long white gown of satin And a beauty oh so rare My mind began to race Left me standing there I was feeling rather timid Too much time had passed But I carved my own headstone Before I ever knew I did The essence of real beauty Is this one I'll never know Then her face turned more lovely My mind had gone astray And her face grew darker As the fear then Went away She was moving very slowly Anticipating every step My mind went back to then The joker looked me down I think its plain to see Keep your wits about you This aging european dream But the mirror clouded quickly She lit the lamp I felt it There was nothing I could do I was feeling rather handsome As her face began to glow She was moving ever closer Then the spirit entered in Is this one I’ll ever know Then her face turned more lovely My mind had gone astray Again her face grew darker As the fear then Went away We lit the second lamp Together As the night was closing in The spirit went on singing She took me into the distance To a place I’d never been My imagination growing weary Then she turned to let me know Her eyes made their appeal Embrace me more tightly And never let me go My mind grew ever wider As she caressed my face The spirit moving ever closer Is this one I’ll ever know Then her face turned more lovely My mind had gone astray Again her face grew darker As the fear then Went away
  2. It's All About The Question

    Hi John, I like this piece, it has potential. I believe that the third verse needs some work. It seems as though you had built to a climax at the end of the second verse. Then in the third verse, more of a general statement. My thoughts are that you should expound upon the second verse as you enter into the third verse. IMHO Cheers, Jim
  3. Lowdown Mother

    Lowdown Mother James L Kleinheksel © Copyright 2016 I'm a lowdown mother A cruel self abuser Got trouble In my eyes A good for nothin' loser I been told by the wise I'm a lowdown mother Like a wretched disease Now that you seen me I'm sure you'll agree I got fire in my eyes And razors in my boots Always got an alibi And I ain't gonna lose I'm a lowdown mother A lowdown mother I'm a lowdown mother Snakebites on my hands Got a gunshot wound But it couldn’t me in I'm a lowdown mother And I run like a fireball Burnin' through the streets Screamin' like a banshee I'll cut you at the knees Got a lot of ammunition And a whole lotta guts Do ya see my premonition Now do ya think I'm nuts I'm a lowdown mother A lowdown mother I'm a lowdown mother Ugly vile and brutal A cutthroat by trade Ain't ever gonna stop And I'll never go away I'm a lowdown mother I got terror in my eyes Got a lotta evil thoughts And I won't apologize A deplorable human Got ice in my veins Rotten to the core And that's how it's stayin' I'm a lowdown mother A lowdown mother A lowdown mother - lowdown mother
  4. Involuntary Voluntary Servitude

    Hi Kuya, I understand the frustration in this piece, however, I believe that there is a better way to convey this message, I believe your main focus here should be the oligarchy under which we currently live. Maybe you could introduce that early and then go into explaining how this affects the entire world. I would also make it a bit more subdued, as you can still strongly make your point. I think that you could organize it a bit better and shorten the lines. Not sure about the tile, you have 12 syllables in 3 words. If you are going to stay with this title, I think that it should appear at the last line of the chorus. The subject of this song is important, but I would hope that most people are aware of human suffering throughout the world. The last line of verse 5 makes it appear that you were very concerned at first, but now you just said, the hell with it. Negating everything that you had said prior to that. This might be a different person speaking here, but we don't know that. I believe that there is a possibility here if maybe you would approach it from a different angle. Cheers, Jim
  5. Writer of Songs

    Hi Ron, A good idea, and a read. the only thing that caught my eye immediately was "It's a fatal disease". How about changing this to Terminal disease? I believe it would work much better, otherwise, you are implying that writing lyrics will kill you. Also, the iambic pentameter is too complex for this lyric. You are speaking to a vast audience of which most will have no clue what you mean. Other than the 2 nits, that's all I see for now. I'll look at it again in a few days. Cheers, Jim
  6. Reflections on an Obelisk

    Hi Ty, I have read through this piece several times and each time I like it more than the time before. This is a fantastic piece of writing, making one think of the meaning. But this may be your biggest hurdle. Back in my heyday, lyrics were everything, too many anyway. Some didn't care to take the time notice the lyrics, only the catchy melody. I have been a lyrics freak ever since I started listening to music in 1968. Growing up we never once had music playing in the house, which at the time I guess I thought was normal. Then I got a record player with a headphone jack and headphones for Christmas when I was 10 years old. I would play it always with the headphones on as to not disturb the non-musical folks who occupied the house. And Holy Shit ! I was off and running. The recordings as well as the equipment weren't that great, so I would listen to them over and over until I could understand every word or at least what I thought made the most sense. I have probably listened to more music than anyone on this site. Not necessarily different music, just the volume of time. Some really great music coming out around this time and I would sit mesmerized listening to the now greats. To me, a song is nothing without very good lyrics as well as the harmony. I actually like the lyrics better. I wanted to buy a guitar at this time but it seemed that it was never in the budget (nobody wanted to hear that noise). So, I was never able to fulfill that desire, but I never gave up on listening to and dissecting lyrics. At age 21 I met and worked with a guy who is now a guitar virtuoso, having taken lessons From Jimmy Atkins, brother of Chet Atkins. This changed my appreciation for what it takes to become a great guitarist. I bought one, and like everything else in my life, I was going to teach myself. Well, my friend could play very well at the age of 5 with no lessons. Turns out he was a prodigy and I promptly sold the guitar. So, at age 22 I thought that I would start writing lyrics. Turns out there were too many distractions at that age. I started writing lyrics a little over 2 years ago and now have over 200. Which all need to be edited several times and critiqued. Anyway, I flew way off the track there, just a little history of where I'm coming from. Back to your biggest hurdle, after all of that. My apologies. I believe that strong lyrics are the backbone of the song. But I truly believe as I observe the younger crowd today, this will be a very tough sell. It's hard to get the attention of most people now for anything, let alone the fact that they now have to figure something out. Well, that's way too hard, I'll just Google it. I too love history and believe that it is so important to learn, but that's just not the way it is now. The lyrics that you have written in this piece are utterly fantastic, and I hope to someday to hear it with a melody. I think that this is a very important piece and my hope is, that people will take the time to read through this several times until it is well understood. It is so important that we try to keep things like this lyrical piece alive and thriving in this non-stop uphill battle to regain sanity. Cheers, Jim
  7. It's Alright With Me

    Hi Rerry, A couple of things other than the grammar. I would like to see this story get progressively sadder after line four in the second verse. The other thing is that you miss her incredibly, so how can it be alright with you. I have edited some of my lyrics and came up with a totally different image, even a different title. I think you have a good start here and I believe you can make this a good piece. Maybe for inspiration, take a look the lyrics from The Moody Blues song, Once Upon A Time. I definitely look forward to seeing what you do with this piece. Cheers, Jim
  8. Boo Hoo You

    Okay Paul, now it makes sense. I'm a little slow sometimes. Great work !!
  9. Unchained Repetition

    Hi John, as usual, I have to copy and paste the lyrics to critique them. I like the title and the fact that it does not appear in the lyrics. You have a great idea here. you need to tweak it a bit and I belie that you'll have a great piece. Cheers, Jim Members 83 482 posts Report post Posted 2 hours ago Had a hard time coming up with a title---then it hit me....of course it just had to be this Now, does it work...and does the lyric work for you?? Unchained Repetition © 2017 John Voorpostel We chased our fortunes together Determined to make our mark It’s easy you said, we’ll just find our difference - You said it was easy we'll find our disparity And put everything into the part - And invest it all into the part I knew you knew we could make it - I don't know about this line. You have the word knew twice only one word apart. How about. Maybe I realize you knew we'd make it That lineups would form at our door - There's line ups out beyond the doors - You used line ups as a plural and door as singular. So we cast our eyes over horizons The whole world was ours to explore - This sounds a little cliche, The whole world wants us even more Sometimes we slept in the soft clouds - At times we slept on clouds - It is implied that clouds are soft, there is no other kind, even in a metaphor. Sometimes we slept on the floor - Other times on the floor Still every morning, we knew we had purpose To stand on top of the world - To stand above the world - Again, too cliche. As every day made us better And lineups got longer and loud - The lines turned to masses very loud We measured our reason for being By the singing and size of the crowds - By singing and dimension of the crowd We knew one day all would be over - You left ou "it". The train we were on would stop Instead thrills of the ride got so ordinary - As the thrill ride became so ordinary - Instead doesn't work here at all. It conflicts with the prior lines You needed to feel back on top - You switched here from a narrative of two people, then directing it at a singular person. I thought that I was following up until this point. But your means took you down to the bottom - I'm pretty sure I know what you mean here, but you need to make the transition smoother To a dungeon inside a deep hole Now the lineup today has never been longer - Now the line today was never longer. I wouldn't use line up again for this line As everyone prays for your soul - This is fantastic, a great finish
  10. Last Train To Nowhere

    Ty, Fantastic idea. Much better. I'm going to use all of your new lines. Cheers, Jim
  11. Time Is Piling Up

    Thanks, Gary and John
  12. Hope

    Thanks for the feedback, Tony, Mike and Joe I was thinking a long guitar instrumental for the bridge. This should separate the third verse far enough from the first and second that the rhyming scheme would be insignificant. As far as the chorus, I'm not sure. I planned on the piece ending with the name. But if you have something in mind, I would definitely give it some consideration. Any further feedback would be much appreciated Cheers, Jim
  13. Ramblin' Around

    Ramblin’ Around James L Kleinheksel © Copyright 2016 All I ever wanted was to ramble around Always movin’ around can’t stay too long Now all I want is to settle down Find a little house with a nice front lawn And a white picket fence all the way around There's nothin’ left out here it’s all but gone Now I got a house on a little plot of of ground With a white picket fence all the way around Just moved in and sat down in my chair The telephone rings and I'm back out there All I ever wanted was so different then You soon grow old and find you can’t win I keep growing old but I can't look back I know for sure I’d run off the track All I wanna do now is go back home ’n’ I think of all the time that I spent romain' But then you grow old and a little less bold I'm happy to sit here and watch it unfold There’s a good reason I can't get away Just gonna hang around today Bridge All I ever wanted was to ramble around Now all I want is to never be found I've been running since showed up here Now everything's changed or disappeared There's nothing out there to be found All I want now is to settle down All I want now is a little place to stay Turn the music up loud and fade away Nothing too simple nothing too profound As I ramble in my mind from town to town
  14. Last Train To Nowhere

    It is totally metaphorical. If I told you that the entire piece is about the internet, would that help? The two lines, never knew about you and I, Type it in send your reply, was my clue. The entire piece is about myself, and how I can't or just don't have the will to keep up with the internet. The train represents the internet, I play myself. Please read through it again with this in mind and notice how nicely it flows, despite your dislike of excessive rhyming, it might make sense if you reread the piece. Thank You very kindly for your reply, it is deeply appreciated. Cheers, Jim
  15. Boo Hoo You

    Hi Paul, I like this a lot. Who is the speaker addressing? What is the relationship? It's obviously being spoken to a woman, but who is this woman? The speaker has disdain for her, but why? Maybe you find these points irrelevant to this piece. The piece is fairly simple and short. I think that you have plenty of room to insert some details. IMHO. Cheers, Jim
×