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FrankeeLeeFabian last won the day on February 6

FrankeeLeeFabian had the most liked content!

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32 Excellent

About FrankeeLeeFabian

  • Rank
    Contributing Muse

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  • Gender
  • Location
    United States
  • Interests
    Ghost Hunting, Automatic Writing, Telekinesis

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
  • Musical Influences?
    Lorde, Lana Del Rey, Julian Baker,St. Vincent, Waxahatchee

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  1. FrankeeLeeFabian


    I liked the first version. Had more personality. Jim made some good comments. I think this could be a reallly good lyric as it develops further.
  2. FrankeeLeeFabian

    She's only watching the clock

    Snabbu, I see exactly what you were talking about and I understand how this would force melodic changes by its structure. And I personally like the "tick-tock" feeling of the repeated lines in the verses. It's all very organic in terms of the style to the lyric. Much appreciated for posting.
  3. FrankeeLeeFabian


    Sorry for not responding sooner. I was all tied up traveling the last week. Paul, I like your suggestions. Thank you for your comments. I'm going to def play around with them. Hi Nectar - thank you for your comments on Subway Girls... one of my favorites! I had/have a tune for this that works (I think) with the repetitions but I'm rethinking my approach based on some of the good feedback I've received. Going to get to work on this shortly and more than likely make some changes. Thanks again. Kuya, thank you for your extensive thoughts and suggestions. I'm seriously taking a look at all of the comments I received and considering them, as they all originate with writers whose lyrics I enjoy reading.
  4. FrankeeLeeFabian


    Hi Alistair, I'll play around with your suggestion. When I wrote the chorus it was meant to be sung very slow and sad, almost dirge-like in parts, with the repetition meant to amplify the resignation of the situation. Having said that, I do find your suggestion intriguing and I'll see how it matches up with my sense of the overall lyric. Many thanks for your thoughts.
  5. FrankeeLeeFabian


    Thank you, Mike, for reading and commenting. Greatly appreciated. Thank you, Snabbu, for reading and commenting. I notice you do quite a bit of extensive comments but I don't believe I've read any of your lyrics. That always helps me to better understand where someone might be coming from in terms of how they incorporate their suggestions into their own work. Maybe you can post some of your lyrics for us to read? Thank you , Peko. appreciate your generous comments and suggestions. Thank you, Jim, for your comments. (I think you're fixated on the "folk" label. It's more alternative/indie.)
  6. FrankeeLeeFabian

    Thoughts on Offensive Lyrics

    There are no more "general audiences," (if ever there truly were). That conceit vanished a long time ago... it's a Spotify world.
  7. Deep and true. Nice.
  8. FrankeeLeeFabian


    Haven't been around for a while. This is something I'm working on. It may be complete. Nothing Here ©FrankeeLee Fabian 2018 Your hands don’t excite me Your kiss leaves me cold And the secrets we’ve shared They’ve all been told Don’t say you still want me It won’t change my mind I’m not chasing that dream I left it behind I waited years to feel the world spin And I’ll never do that, ever again Now there’s nothing here It’s over, it’s empty There’s nothing left You don’t even tempt me No, there’s nothing here There’s nothing here There’s nothing here There’s nothing here Inst. My hearts cloaked in steel, now I can’t feel it beat I’ll chase down my future With the soles of my feet Don’t stand in my way You’re yesterday’s news You’re useless to me Like an old pair of shoes I waited years to feel the world spin And I’ll never do that, ever again Now there’s nothing here It’s over, it’s empty There’s nothing left You don’t even tempt me No, there’s nothing here There’s nothing here There’s nothing here There’s nothing here Maybe there’s love Maybe there’s fate Maybe there’s anger Maybe there’s hate Whatever it is I know I can’t wait But there’s nothing here It’s over, it’s empty There’s nothing left You can’t even tempt me No, there’s nothing here There’s nothing here There’s nothing here There’s nothing here
  9. FrankeeLeeFabian


    https://www.nytimes.com/video/arts/music/100000005858557/watch-how-a-pop-hit-is-made.html Keep watching when the first one ends. Lots of great insights. Ed Sheeran follows... and more.
  10. FrankeeLeeFabian

    Collaboration Contest Discussion

    Wow! Some of these collaborations are great! Very impressive.
  11. FrankeeLeeFabian

    brown eyes

    I like this a lot. It has such a great feel to it. I'm a big fan of simple, unadorned music, infused with vulnerability. I like your style and presentation. I enjoyed the listen!
  12. FrankeeLeeFabian

    I Can Teach You To Fly - edited

    I like this very much. It has a wonderful feel, overall. Very moving and emotional. I'm thinking that maybe you did the different chorus at the end in place of a bridge? Personally, I'd love to see a bridge in this. I think it could add a very powerful element to your lyric. One thought I had was a few minor changes in tense, here and there. For example: You built build up your castles in air, But they crumbled, crumble and turned all turn to dust. Very nice lyric with lots and lots of wonderful moments.
  13. FrankeeLeeFabian


    I like this lyric a lot. There are so many wonderful moments in it and an abundance of feeling and movement. It's very rich with melancholy and hope. I enjoyed reading this and I'd be very hesitant to offer you any changes... it reads so delicate I wouldn't want to splinter or shatter it.
  14. FrankeeLeeFabian

    My Valentine

    I didn't read through all of this but did you consider evaporates? Fades also works as does abates
  15. FrankeeLeeFabian

    Dream This World Away

    Andy, very good comments. I'm reviewing them and thinking about your suggestions. I was describing that moment in the morning right before the world awakens... there is still silence, yes? However, I do like your suggestion of perhaps switching silence to restless in the second verse. Going over all of your comments. Thank you for being so thorough and insightful. SOK, Others have commented on the meter but when I "sing" it there is a smooth flow, although, perhaps I was "high" when I was singing - LOL! - so yes, I will brainstorm. Your Denny's comment made me laugh. Thank you for stopping by. Jonie, I just liked the way it sounded. You have provided me with a great deal of information to digest and consider. Please excuse me if I don't respond to each point you brought up but believe me when I tell you that (a) - I really appreciate you being so specific and (b) I am studiously reviewing all of your suggestions with an open mind and a very serious approach. I truly appreciate all of your observations and comments. Thank you very much for your time and incisive observations. ---------- Jim, thank you for finding some portions of this "fine" "good" and "decent." I like your suggestion about changing the position of the bridge and I'm considering that. The Beatles song book is not something that I am intimately familiar with. Of course I'm aware of their historical place in contemporary music and I'm familiar with many of their songs but the truth is I didn't grow up with them and I don't have the same connection to them that so many others on this site have... no offense. (Just out of curiosity, I notice that you comment on quite a few lyrics but don't post any of your own... why is that? Personally, when I read the lyrics of someone who comments it helps me to to weigh and focus their comments as they may apply to their own lyrics, if that makes sense. Plus, it seems like it's more of a shared and communal experience and in keeping with the overall mission of this site.) Thanks for your thoughts and kind comments.