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About s.l.wolf

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    Muse In Training

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  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
  • Musical Influences?
    Mumford & Sons
  1. Thank you so much, I'm never sure about my voice, so thanks for saying that :D. I appreciate the suggestions. Thanks
  2. I kind of like the idea that it's not clear whether it's for a friend or a lover, I didn't realize it made it hard to follow though. I appreciate your advice and suggestions for how to work on the melody I guess it could be interesting to play up on the bird metaphor more, I'll think about it, and I appreciate the suggestions. They are helpful, Thanks
  3. Alone In This

    I'm 24. Yeah I guess I wrote this in one of the valleys of life. I don't lie cliches and try to avoid them as much as possible, I'm not sure if you see something cliche in this song or if that's general advice. I'm really glad to know think I have the skills musically I will keep writing, thanks
  4. Any feedback is welcome. Also, if you can tell me: Do you think it is a good song? Lyrically & Musically? What can make it good/better? What works well? Do certain lines stand out in a good way? Do certain parts stand out in a good way (to your ears)? What doesn't work? Any suggestions to fix it? Lyrics: I had a dream you were listening to me singing my song guitar in hand I was playing a song about how it all went wrong you were listening to every word I had to say about my pain and my world and the price that I pay (Chorus) I wanted you to see some of the blood that I bled because maybe then you'd care about every word that I said so I tried to paint it right right in front of your eyes show I held on tight before it all died because maybe I am broken and have been for years but now that I've spoken maybe it is clear (Chorus) but I woke up realized you never heard a word to you I'm just another broken broken winged bird now I watch from down here the life I cannot reach and I think about that dream that dream by the beach and I must confess now I long for your attentive eyes but I know that death is closer than that blue in my skies (Chorus) I had a dream you were listening to me singing my song guitar in hand I was playing a song about how it all went wrong
  5. Some Day

    This is so good! All I have to say about it is positive, nothing about how to make it better, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I love the lyrics, well written and emotional. The music works, I especially like the violin. The music is sometimes a bit louder than the singing and I couldn't make out the words, though. I like the chorus a lot. The "what are you gonna do when some day never comes" part and "You’d show them what to do and how it should be done.". The line: "No one wants a has-been, who has never been." is really really good. The ending is heartbreaking when you say "When (are) you gonna give up, and finally face the fact? You missed the boat, and it’s not coming back."
  6. I Love You (Studio)

    This has a lot of potential, it sounds nice. I do think you could make a couple of changes that would make it even better. First off I think it's a bit too long, you could maybe take out one of the "I love you" bits. It would probably be better if you have a something in the middle with a different melody just to change things up. The line "in my knapsack is my load" doesn't sound like it's the best way to put it, sure it rhymes but it could be written differently to make it flow better, I think. Other than that it's a pretty solid song.
  7. Right Thing - Rock Song

    I think the lyrics are well written. The chorus sounds pretty good. Generally, the music works. The parts in the middle and at the end where it goes doesn't seem to work in my opinion, maybe a different melody could make it better. this whole section, I realize it's a verse, but it feels like it would be so much cooler if it sounded different, more like than the chorus than the verse. I do like it overall, so well done
  8. Alone In This

    I will, thanks
  9. More Than That

    I can't comment on the music, it's not the kind of thing I listen to so I can't say much. The lyrics are definitely very very good! I don't know why I feel like it might be missing something though. Like a section that paints something in your head but does it for longer than the verses do, since to me the verses sound like each line or two lines feel a bit separate. I'd like something that can very clearly be connected. I don't know if that makes sense. Hope it helps. I will say again though, the writing is great
  10. This is an older song. It's vulnerable, which is different for me. I realize it expresses emotions very few people would relate to. Any feedback is appreciated. I am wondering what goes through your head listening or reading the lyrics even if you don't relate, so feel free to share. Do you think it's overly emotional? Do you think it is a good song? Lyrically & Musically? What can make it good/better? What works well? Do certain lines stand out in a good way? Do certain parts stand out in a good way (to your ears)? What doesn't work? Any suggestions to fix it? It has a weird structure. To a listener, is that bad or does it work? Soundcloud Link: Youtube Link: Lyrics I know I'm nothing to you I know I don't deserve your help but when I stand in front of you it's the only time I don't feel hell I don't deserve your concern but if you saw the blades in my veins the cries I hold in the only dream where I win if you saw the blades in my veins would you offer to help? if you saw the knives in my heart that rip my soul apart they only go deeper and the climb grows steeper if you saw the knives in my heart would you think it's fair? would you even care? and would you offer to help? if you saw the hatred that's burning my mind red if you saw the holes all around my soul if you saw the hatred would you think it's fair? would you even care? and would you offer to help? you see I only exist when you speak to me though I clenched my fists and fought hart to be free but the light passes through as if there is nothing there though a knife goes right into this ghostly body of air will you change my end? and lend me your hand? do you think it's fair? do you even care? and will you offer to help?
  11. Blue Birds

    I don't know how long you've been doing this for, I hope I'm not wrong when I say it hasn't been long. It seems important to you that you get better, so I thought I'd say something, even though I'm no where near good enough to be giving advice but a friendly comment might matter. I'm only gonna comment on the writing, because I'm not much of a guitarist or a singer, so it feels like a bad idea to tell you that you still need a lot of work, when I should be telling myself first. This is just the sort of thing that you need to keep doing regularly and you'll get better as long as you try to write interesting lines about something with your own perspective. Even the best writers started out somewhere, and they say you have to write a thousand bad songs before you start writing good ones, and even then they can't all be good. So, I'm reminding you that you need to stay at it practicing and always trying to be creative, all the way through. I guess the vibe of the song shouldn't vary drastically from section to section. So I feel like the "blue bird" concept is too "nice" and them "making music in my dreams", this just doesn't flow in a song about "couch potatoes". I guess if you take that out and concentrate on wanting the blue birds, it could work. Also, try to write a lot of verses and choose the best ones, sometimes you need a bit of warming up to get better lyrics. Generally, just keep writing, a lot, even if it's not put up for critique you'll gradually improve. I should mention, the creative aspect in the music also needs work, just keep trying to do something new.
  12. Better Than Revenge

    This sounds really nice, you have a really good voice, and the guitar sounds nice especially that intro. I like how the melody goes really high at times and back down, makes it interesting. This is the only part that I feel could have been better if written differently. I really like the "better than revenge" concept, it's pretty creative.
  13. Sing Me A Smile

    There is no link to the song. Or is that on purpose?
  14. Alone In This

    I'm glad to hear that. I do believe the structure could use a little bit of work. As for the melody, it does follow the accompanying guitar like you said, in my head I feel like that just means it needs more instrumentation to give it more layers and depth. If this was played by a whole band (drums, bass, lead guitar) I think it would work. What do you think? I mean if maybe I added something with a more gripping melody, that may have some what of a contrast to the current melody, that would change the structure and give the current melody a little more edge. I'm saying this because I honestly like the melody right now, so I don't know if I'm biased or it's just a matter of opinions, and someone other than you might like it. It's good to hear that the lyrics work in delivering the idea. I like the idea of a bit of distance between vocal melody and guitar. My problem is I feel like it takes a certain level of skill musically to do that, that I currently do not have. I would like to think that, like I mentioned above, more instrumentation playing more complex things could make it work pretty well, with the rhythm guitar remaining similar to the way it is now, and possibly a section with a stronger melody (like I mentioned above). I can't tell if that's not true, I don't have experience with multi-instrumented compositions. So please share your opinion about that, it is highly appreciated. Thank you, Dan