Jump to content

Anna J

Members
  • Content count

    76
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

Anna J last won the day on May 20

Anna J had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

23 Excellent

2 Followers

About Anna J

  • Rank
    Contributing Muse

Contact Methods

  • Blog
    https://literarydreamweaver.blogspot.in/

Recent Profile Visitors

340 profile views
  1. Anna J

    Daddy's Prize

    Jim - Once again, thank you for your input. I appreciate it! kuya - I'm really glad you shared the story with me. I absolutely see where you're coming from....and I'll probably incorporate something more positive in a new bridge (I wasn't too happy with this one). I also loved what you said about the happiest people writing the saddest songs. It really is a fascinating thought isn't it! Onewholovesrock - Thank you for your suggestions. As i said above, I'm working on the bridge. Let's see how that goes! 🙂 mick70 - Thank you for your kind review!! 😄
  2. Anna J

    Daddy's Prize

    Thank you all so much! I'm really glad you understood my vision for this song. DonnaMarilyn - You've given me some great suggestions and I really appreciate that. I can definitely see, what you said, fit into the song so.....Thank you!
  3. Anna J

    Don't Need'em Anymore

    This lyric has some beautiful lines...but to be honest I can't really grasp the whole meaning. The image thing song dorms is very hazy. It is poetic but.....i think it would be better if you developed it a bit. As Malcolm said - having no use for your heart and eyes makes sense....but the rest comes off as weird. An option could be that you centre the song around....what use is a broken heart? Or something of that sort. This could really turn into great though!
  4. Anna J

    Sin city

    I really like this. It's a fun lyric and has a nice ring to It!
  5. Anna J

    Daddy's Prize

    Note - Some of you have been worried by the content of this lyric, and i just wanted to clarify that this piece is not autobiographical in any way. Most of my pieces aren't. This is a subject matter that resonated with me and affected me deeply.....which is why I tried to portray it. Verse 1 The innocence in her heart Dying away in her eyes The memory of a laugh Fading away with the times And she whispers She screams Invisible To those seen To those seeing Chorus Daddy's prize was a kiss a cry Now haunting visions keep her up at night He took the colours left just black and blue And the red stains staining the mattress too Verse 2 The fire in her heart Burning down to smoke The gift of time Burdening her hopes And she whispers She screams Invisible To those seen To those seeing Chorus Daddy's pleasure was a kiss a cry Now haunting visions keep her up at night He took the colours left just black and blue And the red stains staining the mattress too Bridge And she screams out for help She calls out for love Hidden by glass Hidden and crushed Chorus Daddy's prize was a kiss a cry Now haunting visions keep her up at night He took the colours left just black and blue And the red stains staining the mattress too
  6. Anna J

    I Can Teach You To Fly - edited

    Thank you all so much for your suggestions! They have been really helpful. Most of you have pointed out that a bridge would enhance the song. I have added one....and hopefully it develops the song a bit more! In an attempt to clarify the theme of the song.....it is about a person suffering from depression or suicidal tendencies but it can be taken even more broadly as well. Through the chorus....I wanted to portray the three main themes of hope (stars, light, moon, tide all show light in the dark and consistency in change), freedom (world, skies) and living life (dream, fly, love). That is also one of the reasons i don't want to shorten the chorus as was suggested. Another line I'd like to clear up is "And you bared.......hide away your heart." A soul is considered to be the purest of entities. What i meant to say was that the world was so brutal in nature that it stripped her of her innocence and purity till she was left bitter and upset. Through all the disappointment she has faced, she has learnt to hide away her heart, that is her hopes and desires. This is reiterated in the next line which says her castles crumbled and fell. Heart can also mean that she does not open herself up to love. In the next verse this idea is continued as she carves away her hopes and desires leaving behind a void. But her resentment at this is so strong, that it takes its toll on her mind (shards, they pierce your mind). Hope this cleared everything up a bit!
  7. Anna J

    I Can Teach You To Fly - edited

    Sorry about that. It was a typo ☺. It's only teach
  8. Anna J

    I Can Teach You To Fly - edited

    FrakeeLeeFabian - Thanks! I had been thinking over a bridge.....but i really couldn't figure out one that didn't sound over the top. I will....hopefully sort that out though! mick70 - Thanks for tge kind words! I'm glad you liked it
  9. Verse 1 You look out the window, Silenced by sound. You stand in the doorway, Put one foot out. And you bared out your soul to the world, But you, hide away your heart. You built up your castles in air, But they crumbled and turned to dust. Pre-chorus As you look down and cry, And your heart beats goodbye, I pull you closer and smile, Chorus Won't you stay with me tonight? I can show you the stars, I can show you the light. Won't you take my hand tonight? I can give you the world, I can give you the skies. Won't you hold on for tonight? I can teach you to dream, I can teach you to fly, And we'll fly through the night. Verse 2 You look in the mirror, But beauty's in thought. You stand by the canvas, Paint what you're not. You traded your best for the worst, Cause you thought, that black was white. You carved out your heart from inside, Till the shards, they pierced your mind. Pre-chorus As you look down and cry, And your heart beats goodbye, I pull you closer and smile, Chorus Won't you stay with me tonight? I can show you the stars, I can show you the light. Won't you take my hand tonight? I can give you the world, I can give you the skies. Won't you hold on for tonight? I can teach you to dream, I can teach you to fly, And we'll fly through the night. Bridge Just look in my eyes, There's no need to hide, You know the darkness, it only, lives, Inside. Open your mind, And I know you'll find, That the night, it only, lives, Inside. Chorus 2 Stay with me tonight, And I'll show you the moon, I'll show you the tides. Take my hand tonight, And I'll bring you the sun, I'll bring you time. Just hold on for tonight, And I'll teach you to love, I'll teach you to fly. I can teach you to fly.
  10. Anna J

    What would Jesus be packing?

    I love this lyric. It's captivating and original. Right now....i don't really have any specific suggestions for improvement....but I'm thinking over it and will let you know if I have any. Otherwise....i loved this piece!
  11. Anna J

    Caught Up in the Whirlwind

    This piece sounds pretty fluid. I really like it....and I can totally visualize it with music. Good work!
  12. Anna J

    Waving at You

    Thank you guys for your feedback so much! -Mike I thought that the pre chorus did insinuate that it was a soldier....but You're probably right....it could be taken in a different sense as well! So..i will try to fix that up a bit. As for the difference in length of the lines in both the verses...that Was intentional. I wanted to change up the tune slightly in the second verse which is why the last line is longer. Thnx again!
  13. Anna J

    Waving at You

    The theme of this song (death associated with war) is something that has always affected me deeply...and I've been wanting to write something on it for quite a while. Hopefully I have managed to bring it out and the emotions associated with it at least a little bit..... Let me know what you think! Verse 1 I remember walking into the room, And you'd smile that smile so innocently, It made my heart bleed. Then I'd reach out, pull you closer to me, And you'd whisper so lovingly, Mama don't worry. Pre-chorus They said you were the bravest of them all. They said your fire burned too bright for this world. They said that light encircled your soul. As it flew up high, Higher than the skies. Chorus And as angel's wings come to claim you, As God calls out your name, As the stars above embrace you, darling, I'll be here, waving, Waving at you. Verse 2 I remember walking up to the stage, Holding on tight to my memories, The past was all that was left of me. Then I clutched the medal close to my heart, Your only legacy, Now stamped in gold for the world to see. Pre-chorus They said you were the bravest of them all. They said your fire burned too bright for this world. They said that light encircled your soul. As it flew up high, Higher than the skies. Chorus And as angel's wings come to claim you, As God calls out your name, As the stars above embrace you, darling, I'll be here, waving, Waving at you. Bridge The skies are turning fiery red, As blood rains down, Onto the battle ground. The crowds are fading out to black, As the storm goes on, And houses burn down. Chorus Angel's wings came to claim them, God called out their names, The stars above embraced them, tightly, Leaving us here waiting, Waving.
  14. Anna J

    My Valentine

    Wow....this took a COMPLETELY different direction. I think this a very intriguing lyric. It's definitely cleverly written. I actually have nothing to say except for the fact that I really enjoyed reading it!
  15. Anna J

    They Sold Their Souls

    I actually like the line - Devils fiery fishbowl. It gives me the sense that the devil is preying on them (basically eating them up..) There's one line that stood out to me - And once they answer deaths beckoning call. I think it would fit in better with the rest if you reduced the syllable count for this line. Otherwise I really do like this song...I think when played, it would have a very distinct and catchy beat so..... Well done!
×