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hank

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    43
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14 Good

About hank

  • Rank
    Contributing Muse

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  • Music Page
    https://soundcloud.com/chayes285

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Both
  • Musical Influences?
    No one particular
  1. All my lyric vocabulary comes from other songs too. I'm an native english speaker though, so, ye..Opening section is cool, reminds me of paramore - only exception a little bit. I like the sped up section too, kind of reminds me of doves - there goes the fear. It's a bit too much of a drastic change for me though or maybe it just was on first listening, it's kind of growing on me. I would love you to be absolutely belting out that chorus. The vocals don't seem to match the rest of the song dynamically. Everything else sounds pretty good, in terms of mix and recording quality. Nice stuff
  2. Any thoughts at all are much appreciated as ever! Verse 1 Crawling down a rabbit hole. to combat the sickening rot cancel all my plans today I'm burning down the walls to take a shot I know firmly where my motives lay but you're not keen at all Chorus Bas, You shut down the rhythm again, shocked to consider your waste in ability please don't you intervene I can' deliver a taste of your medicine don't bother me though, don't bother me though Verse 2 Flying like a cannonball until a precipitous stop I'm running from your problems till the raging and raging turns to thought, the earth beneath my body shakes my courage to core as momentary silence breaks your words sound so familiar Chorus
  3. Y Fly

    Ye I think percussion would be a good addition for sure. I do the mixing and the recording myself yep. It's probably the worst aspect of all of my songs though...
  4. Rik

    Thanks for all the detailed feedback! I agree with most of what you say. Ye I dunno the bridge was just something I wanted to try. Always thought tempo shifts in songs can be done well but I'm not really sure if it works that well here. The transition is definitely something that I would change if I wasn't extremely lazy. But you might be right, a more similar tempo could be the best remedy. Diplomat's son is a really great song. As for the social media, all I have is the ol' soundcloud. Will hopefully be writing a lot more productively over the next while.
  5. Y Fly

    Thanks guys. Ye I agree with the b section being a bit meh. Appreciate the kind words though!
  6. Hello, Any feedback at all is appreciated! Spare me form the motion turning endlessly you say your soul is easy to feed but when the autumn colours fade inspiration can bleed Way out in the darkness burn out in the streets you say there's charm in living carefree on the dark and gloomy days i'll be ripe to survive in an awkward kind of way i feel ready to fly bring out the heart in me some air to breathe I'm chasing trails to no relief we're stuck in a fantasy I'm trying so hard to leave daylight kicks me out of jaded sanctuary set my sights so eagerly but when the tide is forming waves and it's starting to rise it's awful long to wait till a quarter to five on the dark and gloomy days I'll be ripe to survive in an awkward kind of way I feel ready to fly
  7. Before It Grows

    It's really good. You have a nice voice, it reminds me a little bit of john newman. It's extremely professional sounding. I don't really have any specific feedback. You should be very proud of it.
  8. Bag of Anger

    Nice work lads. The track is played very tightly. I think each of the parts could maybe have a little more impact though in the recording. I would spend a little more time focussing on the type of sound you want on the guitars. At the moment they're very standard. The same with the vocals, I think they could maybe be produced a little bit better. There's nothing wrong with them, I just think there's and opportunity to make them a little bit better and to give the track a bit of an extra punch.
  9. I like what you have so far. Structure wise, there are no wrong answers really i wouldn't say. What you have work's fine I think. The only question would be the finishing on a verse instead of a chorus. It might take the punch out of the flow of the track little bit. I'd say just try and get some more of the vocals done and then see what you think about the structure. But otherwise it sounds great I really like the guitar you have over the chorus.
  10. Ooh I love that initial sound on the guitar. So crisp. Production wise I think it could maybe improve by just adding a little bit. Maybe beef up the drums, add a bass and a second guitar more prominently. It could be a little bit tighter timing wise in parts as well. I like the vocals but I'd prefer to hear them a bit clearer and maybe sound a little more like Pixies or someone like that. The guitar playing is excellent. Really like the sound.
  11. The Stars

    The guitar at the start kind of reminds me of The Beatles - I feel fine, which is excellent since that's a great tune. Takes an interesting turn after that for sure. Everything kind of feels like it moulds together a little bit, which I think is kind of cool but it might be a little bit messy or something as well. But I suppose that's a kind of style of its own. I like the sound on those vocals. Overall a solid song and some very nice guitar work.
  12. Not a big country fan but I enjoyed this. The lyrics are really good. The arrangement and mix etc are very well executed.
  13. Rik

    Ah thanks guys really appreciate it. Ye I think writing more variations would definitely help, now to motivate myself to do that...
  14. Any feedback very much appreciated. What is your general approach to writing lyrics? Are there any particular pitfalls that I'm encountering in my lyrics? Would love to hear people's generally feeling on the track either negative or positive. Verse 1 I have a version play in my head cut out the black before it all spreads I'd rather eat your truth instead pulp fiction making my bed Chorus Pick me if you wanna pick me slip a little dose inside my mouth kiss me when you're longing for me twist my guts and fill me up with doubt Verse 2 from the veil we're covered behind we set sail half broken and blind out on the west wing untruth you'll find rise above respond in kind Chorus Bridge What are we doing all just running around I'm tired of dealing with the toll it's taking What are we doing, head stuck in the ground I'm dying for someone to hold me down Chorus
  15. Nice song. I like the lyrics and the main musical idea. I think the arrangement and composition is a little bit too repetitive though. The way I could see it going would be to either start really small in terms of the production and build every verse until the end. Or you could add a second section, even just a small bridge and keep everything simple. It kind of reminds me of the White stripes - We're gonna be friends a little. It could be cool to have a very simple production like that.
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