Jump to content


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

8 Neutral

About Ashfi

  • Rank
    Contributing Muse

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
  • Musical Influences?
    Michael stipe - REM

Recent Profile Visitors

201 profile views
  1. Wasting My Time

    It sounds happy! Should it? Anyway my opinion, stay total arrangement like the same. Just change few words/lines as above. it will much workable with your arrangement i guess.
  2. Simply awesome. i love the dinamics. Voice harmony. everything..
  3. We are stuck

    Please check the chord arrangements. At the end of each lines there are rhyming. - V1 has a little story line. Its like, Mother was sick. Her kid (boy/girl) should take care her, stay beside her. without doing that, the boy/girl posted those lines on online. Sound so joke to me! And finally in happy mood, the kid took a selfie. Then, my swear thing came out. - I use ‘kid’ cause I don’t wanna come up any gender issues, hehee.. fuck off phrasal verb of fuck 1. 1. vulgar slang (of a person) go away. After checking this forum, I have found that swearing is not much allow here. People are maintain their decency on this issue. I highly respect this.
  4. We are stuck

    Thank you for your suggestion, man. Check my green replies. Hope it will clear some confusion. Waiting your further suggestion.
  5. In My Own House

    Everyone has their own point of view to understand any lyrics. Writer gives that freedom. I think this lyric has magic. I love it.
  6. Love to be Childish

    Hahhaa.. Thank God, you could feel the childish vibe. That was my main target. Lets see, I might change the tittle as you suggest THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENTS. IT MEANS A LOT TO ME.
  7. I'm Sober, Sophie

    Hahahaa... Poor "Sally". I prefer to use "Sally". Once in a while in live performance you could alter it some places in "Silly". In my opinion it will work nicely in CH1. I dont prefer those two 'it'. Specially B2. Its fun to read and truly well crafted.
  8. We are stuck

    Obvious any lyrics should have contain these elements. Its not about just contest. Well I am trying to carry this lyric in next level - cording/melody line/ structure etc. Check it above. Hope it will help you to understand my ideas. Later I will share my gross structure in sound cloud (if I feel that sound have minimum quality to present ) Yea, I know its a Big big problem for me Could you please gimme advise on those lines/word to that should change? After all this forum is best place to work with, right? Anyway, thanks a lot for your valuable advise. Consistently yesterday I was visiting your channels. You have vast working experience. And so many cool songs.
  9. Hello Piano

    Great lyric. I keep my first acoustic guitar. It is not playable condition right now. Still when i touch it, I get emotional. It is one only true companion of mine for a long time. Do you tune it? Looking forward for it.
  10. I could not find any particular prominent instrument's melody lines. Obvious it has, guitar. But i think you have to put it up front any how. Overall sound great.
  11. What Your Heart Says Yes Twice

    Is it about your inner confusion, the existence of the god or searching for any other bigger truth, so that you are asking to show you sign or something? The title makes me more confused. Last stanza is the little bit confusing for me, feel excessive. You should put your chorus after 2nd stanza as well. Anyway you must have some ideas. I love the subjects and over all presentation. It's awesome.
  12. We are stuck

    It was submitted in July lyric contest. I think, lyric subject was good. but not well crafted and not enough content as well. Above all it was my first craft. I need your support to make it workable and polished. I am working on to make a main riff for it. hope I will share it soon. 130 bpm (swing feel?) Early classic heavy metal band's vibe. Main riff - Down stroke in 8th note. From 9th Fred major triad. Simplest! EE EE EE GF# EE EE EE DE =============== Main riff x4 Verse: E/// D/// C/// B S E/ (S - slide B to E, its one quarter measure) Mother is sick n bed, lying just next door. (1st 03 bars have descending melody line) E/// D/// C/// B S E/ The kid posts an update without any care, (1st 03 bars have arch melody line) Main riff x2 A/// G/// Please pray for my Mom, (descending melody line) A/// C/// She is very sick. (Ascending melody line) E/// D/// C/ // B S E/ Then her kid takes a selfie like a narcissist whore. (Arch melody line) Main riff. x4 Pre Chorus: C/// B/// C/// B S E/ Main riff. Main Chorus - beneath the main riff. Main riff. Bridge has two parts: Soft and low voice D/// A/// G/// G/// The whole world is now open to share. D/// A/// G/// G/// Too much information is available there. Its different.... Too easy to get just as easy to forget. No deep establishment inside our mind. ================================== We are stuck Verse: Mother is sick in bed, lying just next door. The kid posts an update without any care, Please pray for my Mom, She is very sick. Then, her kid takes a selfie like a narcissist whore. Pre chorus: Our head is stuck to the boxy screen, We are doing nothing but finger scrolling. Chorus: Addicts are evolving, Followers are floating. It's epidemic, We are stuck. Fuck off... Verse: It's a deep dark sickness crawling at our door, Which is modern world selling us that's for sure. People are getting hypnotized, Swallowing other shit. E/// D/// C/// B S E/ Communication is Digitalize but forget a warm hug to feel alive. Bridge: The whole world is now open to share. Too much information is available there. Too easy to get just as easy to forget. Nothing remains for long in our brains. Pre chorus: Our head is stuck to the boxy screen, We are doing nothing but finger scrolling. Chorus: Addicts are evolving, Followers are floating. It's epidemic, We stuck. Fuck off...
  13. July Lyrics Competition

    No biggie. I always be with bottom thingy. I have got one very good (2.0) comment. One very poor (5.0) as well. No prob, There are always open doors. I will send it to Nicki Minaj to sing. Hahahaa...
  14. July Lyrics Competition

    Hahhaa, Is there any lose option over there? I guess not.. Thanks man for your supporting words.
  15. Comeback Kid - July contest entry

    I love it. It was one of my top voted lyric.