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About Ashfi

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    Contributing Muse

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  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
  • Musical Influences?
    Michael stipe - REM

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285 profile views
  1. Lyrics

    hi Art, It's amazingly unique, the way you arranged whole ideas... the love relationship with carnival stuffs. "I was number two" line will be connected with mass number of listeners. I think it's a cleaver choice. My personal opinion, up tempo suffle beat rock n roll (little bit funk) style is perfect for it. Ashfi ------------
  2. Forever journey is my destiny

    Hi kuya, Thanks a lot. You have made another awesome verse for me. I must take it. My chorus must contain this message, "whatever I am doing (journey).... that is my final achievements (destination)". I think typical 12 bar blues doesn't require separate chorus thing. Is it mandatory? Lemme research on that more. I am thinking it would be great if i get someone who collab/share with my ideas. Can you please give me any suggestion about it? Ashfi --------------
  3. DEAD MAN WALKING (language warning)

    Obvious you have your own writing skills/styles. It will fit in lots of genre now a days people are doing! Keep it up. offtopic suggestion: I can see, you don't respond your previous post comments. People will be not interested to feedback your lyric then. So please interact. Thanks. ashfi ---------------
  4. Hold On Honey

    It's so heart touching emotional lyric. Absolutely superb stuff. I love it.
  5. Forever journey is my destiny

    V1 - I tried to explain the blues characteristics. V2 - My main theme. Ch - Yet I don't know.. I should rework on it. I almost repeat V2 over there V3 - My experience while I am playing blues. V4 - How it supports me. through buddies, everything, why it so precious important for me. Thanks for your valuable suggestions. Ashfi -----------------
  6. Cloud gazing

    Thank you for your kind words. Do you have any idea, how do i get anyone to collaborate?
  7. Racist

    Comment on the lyric only. Keep the politics out of it.
  8. Racist

    We are living a cruel & fake world. And most of us don't even bother about it. How come we are so blind! Media is just a tool to spread their propaganda to manipulate, right? I watched a Bernie Sanders speech. he explained how 1%-5% greedy criminal people control the everything. Rest of the people are getting nothing. I think you could mention/point finger at them somewhere. Ashfi -------------------
  9. Hi, Here is my another try. I wrote another song about blues in this forum. Now this is second one. I need your valuable suggestions to improve it. Thanks. Forever journey is my destiny It's the tripping I have been enjoying. I've never sought any Final Destination. Home is inside in my mind. Blues is one of that kind. Forever journey is my destiny. I am walking in that way & get full satisfaction. Road leads me like I'm a blind. Blues is one of that kind. Oh yea, Forever journey is my destination. I never want to be a freak to seek attention. Oh yea, Forever journey is my destination. I hate to end up at fame. Oh no, It's such a lame. It's the swinging I have been playing. I'm following the freeway. I've no hesitation. Life is flowing so smoothly. Blues is carrying that course. We are sharing Each other's feelings. I have few buddies who ease All my frustration. Pure hearts are all around me. Blues brothers fulfill my soul.
  10. Cloud gazing

    "Joni Mitchell - Both Sides, Now" is superb song. I didn't hear it before. it's so soothing. trying to understand the lyric. Thanks a lot.
  11. Cloud gazing

    I get your point a little bit. i am very bad at grammar thing. This forum helps me a lot to minimise that. Please check attached the song's melody line sheet. Do you have any similar ideas that fit in well?
  12. Cloud gazing

    I tried to present the "cloud gazing" in metaphoric way. Not like exact visual form! I put some visionary/cloud form as well. If any listener feel/imagine/connected that way, i will be more than happy for that. coz every listener obvious have the freedom to understand their own way. right? I feel that the chorus part doesn't much help to deliver a catchy hook. Maybe the other arrangement will support/lift it up! or else I will try to change it a bit. I don't figure it out yet! Thanks for your suggestions.
  13. Lyrics Ejaculation

    I read few writings of yours previously. Those were great. So why not format it by yourself and then submit? So far this lyric sounds like lighter version of Kim - Eminem Ashfi ----------------
  14. Summer Storms

    hi James L Kleinheksel, I love the total idea a lot. it's awesome. but there are few repetitive ideas/words over there. and hard to follow the rhyme. you have 06 verse/bridge parts! I think you need to trim it a bit. replace few lines here and there. that's it. ashfi -------------