Jump to content


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

20 Excellent

1 Follower

About Ashfi

  • Rank
    Active Muse

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
  • Musical Influences?
    Michael stipe - REM

Recent Profile Visitors

502 profile views
  1. Ashfi

    Half of you

  2. Ashfi

    Half of you

    Hi SB, There is a synonym of word 'wife' in our native language. Literally that means half part of the body. Its almost like English word "better half". My main goal was to establish that word. Half+half = 01 entity. hope you would understand. I am still confused about the tittle. Please would you help me to correct my grammatical mistakes as before? I know some of those are so silly. Hard to take/read. Anyway thanks a lot. You always give the courage to continue/share my ideas. It means a lot to me. Ashfi -------------------------
  3. Ashfi

    Half of you

    Hi Mike, Its great to see you. and have your valuable suggestions. Thanks a lot. Ashfi ---------------------
  4. Ashfi

    Your Counterfeit Heart

    I love the message. it has one of my favorite song - Radiohead's Fake plastic trees kinda vibe.
  5. Ashfi

    Half of you

    Hi R-N-R Jim, Its my great pleasure to have your detail comments - ideas, suggestions.. Thanks a lot. Ashfi ---------------------
  6. Ashfi

    Half of you

    Hi, Here is my new love/sad song, which I’m working. It has two versions. A few days earlier I and my wife had some kinda silly fight. I always feel those topics are pointless based on our lifespan. Anyway, she left our home and staying with her Mom for a while. Then I wrote this one and delicate to her. I sang it, recorded 1 verse (one take straight). I felt shy because I am not a singer or performer. Send to her Messenger (pretty love story, huh? hahaha.). After reading/hearing my first version of it, Her first expression was Mehhh. I thought what if, it would be someone’s last song? The song’s appealing would take different aspect. Then the second versions idea came up. I added a new bridge 02 and outro. Rest of stanzas is still the same. Where should I put those stanza? Need your suggestions. The chorus is conflicting with bridge 02/outro. When you know you are going to die (eventually all we are) soon, it’s not relevant to talk about the old fight. It’s my point of view. Maybe it fits in. i don't know. Let’s see what you guys say/suggest. I also shared my first verse first basic tablature to understand the rhythm thing and other stuff. Half of you Verse 1: All the precious moments of our lives We have been passing through together. Only you and I stay most closely. I'm so glad that it’s our destiny. I love you. Chorus: You are the half of me. No matter how hard we fight. All is matter how good we fit. I am in you. You are in me. Bridge 1: The world is not going as we expect. Sometimes it's out of our hands. Sometimes we took silly stands. But my love all those mean nothing. Verse 2: We're sharing all emotion of our lives. We hear the heart beats each other. Like call & response each minute, Each day and night, with you my love. – I don't like this line. Any ideas? I will miss you. Chorus: You are the half of me. No matter how hard we fight. All is matter how good we fit. I am in you. You are in me. Bridge 2: My body is not going as I expect. This time it's out of my hands. My body cells are self-destructive. All the fight we had meant useless. Outro: I’m counting my last breaths. I’m sorry that I have to leave You alone here, My half of you. Be strong, we will meet again. No matter where I will go. I gonna find you, Your half of me. around 75 bpm:
  7. If i could write such a magical song! Ray LaMontagne - Empty She lifts her skirt up to her knees Walks through the garden rows With her bare feet laughing I never learned to count my blessings I choose instead to dwell In my disasters I walk on down the hill Through grass grown tall And brown and still It's hard somehow To let go of my pain On past the busted back Of that old and rusted Cadillac That sinks into this field Collecting rain Will I always feel this way So empty So estranged? And of these cut throat busted sunsets These cold and damp white mornings I have grown weary If through my cracked and dusty Dime store lips I spoke these words out loud Would no one hear me? Lay your blouse across the chair Let fall the flowers From your hair And kiss me With that country mouth So plain Outside the rain is tapping On the leaves To me it sounds like They're applauding us The quiet love We've made Will I always feel this way So empty So estranged? Well I looked my demons in the eyes Lay bare my chest Said do your best To destroy me See I've been to hell and back So many times I must admit You kinda bore me There's a lot of things That can kill a man There's a lot of ways To die Yes, and some already did And walk beside me There's a lot of things I don't understand Why so many people lie It's the hurt I hide that fuels The fire inside me Will I always feel this way So empty So estranged?
  8. Valentine Heart - Tanita Tikaram If I was a Londoner, rich with complaint Would you take me back to your house Which is sainted with lust and the listless shade If I could have held you once more with that light It's nothing to you, but it keeps me alive Like a Valentine's Day, it's a Valentine's heart, anyway The king and the ages, they fall by the plan It's always the tired and the ordinary man (It's the) challenge it's funny and such I want to see you again I want to see you again It's so simple and plain But I'll come back and see you again The lie is the angel, it doesn't exist I tell you it's funny but you like just to twist all my words It's a shame you're so young My word, it's a shame I'm so dumb I figure a house with the smoke and the fence The people round here would be pleased Take my word on this I would believe just in you, just believe in you And five days to catch me around with my ring As I visit the friendships which meant everything to the girl With the clown's face, to the girl with the clowns face, round here
  9. Ashfi

    Cloud gazing

    I know the total theme is kinda scattered (like cloud? hahah). It will be nice if I could create something based on your idea. Hey, you should go for it. It will be great. And still i am trying to digest your satire thanks a lot.
  10. Is it acceptable if we use any backing track that available in the web and add any lead instruments (improvise) over it?
  11. Ashfi

    Monster in Me

    I like any kinda controversial Lyrics. So It will grab my interest. It sounds like Eminem - Guilty Conscience (3rd story). What am I sayin'? Shoot 'em both Grady, where's your gun at? You missed that both (wife) part. Maybe you will create another story/lyric later Lets see what others think about it.
  12. Ashfi

    Where we belong

    Glad to hear your appreciation. I did change few places already, please check. I have few other ideas that I am still working on it. Not finalize it yet. Thanks for your kind words. I feel so inspired.
  13. I always look forward any kind of antiwar movements/songs. It's the biggest bloody foolishness that we are still continuing. Your lyrics contain precisely everything and to the point! It's rare. Just rethink your song title. I wonder, why don't you post your song in song feedback area?
  14. Ashfi

    Where we belong

    Yes, you can see, 1st Chorus i use follow/carry, 2nd - touch/draw. we have opportunity/space to drop different words over there. Your enclose/hold will suit fine as well. Sound hippy as all hell? hahaaaa... - I love the complement. Thanks a lot.