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RepeatingZERO

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RepeatingZERO last won the day on November 26 2017

RepeatingZERO had the most liked content!

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About RepeatingZERO

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  • Birthday March 16

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  1. RepeatingZERO

    This is my renaissance

    Took me a while to digest this one, but I don't think I'd change much of anything. I wonder whether some lines would need to be condensed to fit to music... but that's hardly a big issue. Cool idea, and nice use of macabre imagery. Not overblown.
  2. RepeatingZERO

    You've got a banshee in you

    When she was only a few weeks old her howling sounded like she was saying "oh no" haha no word of a lie. Thanks for the comment. I'm striving to not over think my writing any more. If it works it works, if it doesn't I think I'd rather move on these days than obsess and beat whatever spark I had to death. ... And they do say some of the most iconic songs in history took a deceptively short amount of time to create. Can't argue with that! 👍
  3. RepeatingZERO

    The Miner's Lullaby

    Yeah that definitely works
  4. RepeatingZERO

    You've got a banshee in you

    Well, pairing the whimsy with the banshee image wasn't a total accident, I'll say that much haha I'm torn between leaving this minimalist and expanding. I agree there's a lot more that can be done with this but my vision for the song is full on short, fast punk. May drive home the hook a bit more as John suggested, then see where the music takes me. The banshee is worth revisiting. Maybe in a future lyric. Thanks!
  5. RepeatingZERO

    The Miner's Lullaby

    So hey, I live in Wales and have Welsh family (Big mining industry back in the day, if you didn't know) so this definitely speaks to me. I can't help but feel you over use the chorus though. It loses power each time I hear it. Obviously the mines haven't really been a thing round here since the 80s, so to me at least this doesn't come across as a very modern lyric... But who says that's a bad thing! The rest is a-okay. Clear message and story. Very relatable.
  6. RepeatingZERO

    You've got a banshee in you

    A Ween ish song. Short and sweet. Probably no more than a minute and a bit in length. Possibly fairly punky. The bracketed lines are meant to be spoken / shouted by a different voice to the singer and the music stops for the last line of each verse. (Also, we got a noisy puppy. That probably explains what sort of pit this crawled out of.) VERSE Hey, little doggie, screaming down the house Little doggie, should be quiet as a mouse Oh, little doggie, what's going wrong? (Dude, I think you've got a banshee in you.) VERSE Hey, little missy, try and get some sleep Little missy, it's hard enough to keep Going on, little missy, please calm down. (Dude, I think you've got a banshee in you.) CHORUS What the hell is going on? What the hell is going wrong? What the hell is going on down there? What the hell is going on? (Oh no!) What the hell is going wrong? (Oh man!) What the hell is going on down there? (I don't wanna know!)
  7. RepeatingZERO

    Banana Republic

    This line is brilliant. Deceptive, simple. Over all, the flow is tip top. I think like 9thStLine said, if a bridge is needed the music will tell you. Doesn't even have to be a lyrical though I suppose!
  8. RepeatingZERO

    Stick Figures

    Thanks for the feedback! I'd certainly consider adding a few lines to the chorus, or perhaps varying the words the second time around to give it that meat you're looking for... If I can some how recapture the magic, so to speak, of the moment when I wrote this... Alas, I'm not so sure. Maybe one day haha. As it is, I quite like how minimalist this is, so I don't know how much I want to mess with that. The first verse is my least favourite, so that could definitely be somewhere to start with regards to revisions. Thanks again, Jim.
  9. RepeatingZERO

    WWDD? (What Would the Devil Do?)

    While yes it needs some tweaking here and there, the way I read it was that asking her out and being faithful are things the narrator wants to do, but once he's had a drink he thinks he won't be able to stop himself from doing what the devil would do.
  10. RepeatingZERO

    WWDD? (What Would the Devil Do?)

    Not sure this needs to be any more cooked down as Malcolm put it. Although when you have some music for this I would question whether you need as many repetitions of WWDD. I could see it working, but I wouldn't want the hook to get stale.
  11. RepeatingZERO

    Stick Figures

    Thanks for the feedback, Paul. Yeah, I consciously tried to resist cramming too much into it. While I'm not usually a fan of minimalist lyrics, I like how it worked out here. As for "I won't / it won't" I did mean "I won't". No typo. "I hope you hope to be" is meant in the to exist definition of to be, rather than the singer saying he wants this person to be anything specific. Does that come across clearly? To me it's like saying I hope you finally stop trying so hard to be something and just be yourself.
  12. RepeatingZERO

    Stick Figures

    Simple lyric knocked up in a few minutes to see if I can bust out of a bit of a thematic rut I've been in recently. In my head I can hear a singer/songwriter type arrangement. Piano accompaniment. VERSE Stick figures drawn in sand Wishing for a life you never had I hope you hope to be at last I hope you know you have a past With me CHORUS Somethings never change, this I know Something went astray, this I know Will it ever change? I guess I won't But I want to watch us grow VERSE Stick figures in my mind Memory of a life lost to time I'd like to say I'm through with this I'd like to stay to reminisce With you CHORUS Somethings never change, this I know Something went astray, this I know Will it ever change? I guess I won't But I want to watch us grow OUTRO Stick figures drawn in sand Will you take me by the hand?
  13. RepeatingZERO

    DAW technical issues / recommendations

    So funny thing... I was just collecting a few screenshots and such for you guys, decided "I'll just update to the latest version of Reaper. What's the harm in that?" and what do you know? It's working again... I guess we'll see how long that lasts! Thanks for trying and I'm sorry for not replying a bit quicker. I'm a busy fool these days.
  14. RepeatingZERO

    the day the spacemen came to town

    Well ... I like it! I'm not sure I can see the civil rights movement in there (apart from maybe "god damn our birth" etc), nor can I get much of a sense of structure... But in a way I'm happy to take your word for it, because it reads well, and I like the simplicity of it.
  15. RepeatingZERO

    Today, I Saw the Elephant in the Room

    Cheers for the reply. That's definitely help me hone in on what people are talking about. So either I need to get clever/intriguing, or keep the language simple and tell a story. Or something like that haha. I was worried that it was a case of "not my cup of tea" rather than anything intrinsically wrong with my lyric, but now you've given me some thing to think about I can try and pull future works in the one direction or the other... instead of sending mixed signals! EDIT: My writing is usually in the direction of pop punk or alt rock, but I also have an experimental background. So.. anything goes?
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