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Peko last won the day on April 4

Peko had the most liked content!

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About Peko

  • Rank
    A Muse's Muse

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  • Music Page

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    Golf, cooking, creating stuff, reading and more reading, Sunday crosswords, spreadsheets!, observing behavior, good and bad, Revising!

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  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
  • Musical Influences?
    Carly Simon, Streisand, Dan Fogelberg, Rod Stewart, England Dan and John Ford Coley, Jim Croce, The Beatles, especially John Lennon's lyrics, Gordon Lightfoot, John Denver. I also like the Big Band era, and a lot of music from the 70’s. Some might say “old;” I prefer “classic.”

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  1. Peko


    Hi, Carl, Love how this is getting better and better and the cooperation you're getting from everybody. Fun, fun!
  2. Hi, Mick, Why stop at November? This line begs for December! Patty
  3. Peko

    The long hot summer in Hamilton

    Hi, WB, Looks like you're from Hamilton, so you'd be an expert on this one! I'd say you have some good images here, but way too many repetitions of the hook. To borrow your last comment: Less is more. It'd be nice, too, to have an unexpected twist here, or a contrast, perhaps with the icy cold winter? I don't know. It doesn't feel "enough" right now. You'll probably get some good suggestions from the others. Patty
  4. Peko

    Shadow of our Guns

    Hi, Jim, Wow! You even wrote your own lyric on this! Thank you for your attention to this difficult (for me) lyric. I appreciate your thoughts on third person, too. There are so many ways to handle this. I'm going to let this one steep awhile. I have some new things to think about based on all these thoughtful comments on the forum. It is obviously a topic that has an audience. I am going to try hard to come up with something much better than I did the first time, but it could be a month or more. Thanks again. Patty
  5. Peko

    Shadow of our Guns

    Thanks, Gary. All good advice. I especially like the de-rhyming aspect of it. That would not have occurred to me but I think that's a good tool to use in these situations. Thanks! I'm not going to be revising this for awhile; I'm still thinking about how I want to do it. All this input is helpful. I see there is a similar theme in the June Lyrics contest. It is interesting to see how others handle the same broad topic.
  6. Peko


  7. Peko

    Shadow of our Guns

    Gary, I'm going to print out your comments and study each one. I really appreciate your approach to these things, and I'm sure your thoughts will influence the next version. Everything is on the table right now, so it helps to see these comments: Thank you. It was a conscious decision to do that. Not a particularly popular one, it appears. But it made sense to me. This is such a good example of how a lyric on the page can give a totally different impression than the same lyric set to music. "Naive" is a good word to describe what I was trying for: a plaintive, desperate plea for this to stop. Probably not, but by then I felt it was time for some imagery and those lines said what I was trying to say. But, everything's on the table. I considered the rhyme scheme in V1 as ABCB. Is that the same as XAXA? When I listen to the song, I don't hear any issues in terms of meter that doesn't fit. I think if I were writing this from scratch, not to music, I would have made (maybe) different meter decisions, but all the lines fit, so I didn't worry about it. This is something I can take a look at during the revision, to see if the structure/meter/etc serves the purpose well or gets in the way. Thanks.
  8. Peko

    Shadow of our Guns

    9thStLine, Thanks, I'm glad you think the unsureness is a good approach because that's a position I'm very familiar with--being UNSURE! 😃 I have been thinking about different ways to frame the issue, how to set it up, etc., and I will certainly consider your thoughts. Thank you. Patty
  9. Peko

    Shadow of our Guns

    Thanks, Mike. This lyric is going to be a real challenge, but comments here on the forum are all helpful. I wrote this TO MUSIC, so to me, the PC fits and works well, but I can see that just reading on the page, it would look a little weird. I'd be interested in what you think if you get a chance to listen to the song.
  10. Peko


    Hi, Carl, This is really coming together and you're getting good suggestions from everybody. How cool! All of the comments below are just ideas. Your lyric is good as it is.
  11. Peko

    Shadow of our Guns

    HI, SOK, What a nice comment. Thank you so much for listening and for your suggestions. I see what you mean and will certainly take that into consideration on the rewrite. Yes, Joey's voice is very nice and I'm glad you enjoyed it on this song. Patty
  12. Peko

    May Song Contest

    Congrats to the winners: Scenes from Palacio, Mutrins and Oswlek. Fine entries! My top score went to Gone, Gone, Gone. Thank you Eric Borgos and Chris Davidson. I enjoyed the variety this time around. Patty
  13. Peko


    Hi Carl, I think you've got something good here. More comments below.
  14. Peko

    Happiness ...

    I am totally with you on how music can completely transform lyrics. I will (eagerly) await the final product.
  15. Peko

    Happiness ...

    Now THIS would get me interested right away! Very clever, different and makes me want to hear more.