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Peko

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About Peko

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    USA
  • Interests
    Golf, cooking, creating stuff, reading and more reading, Sunday crosswords, spreadsheets!, observing behavior, good and bad, Revising!

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Lyricist
  • Musical Influences?
    Carly Simon, Jim Croce, Gordon Lightfoot, Dan Fogelberg,England Dan and John Ford Coley, John Denver, Beatles

Recent Profile Visitors

224 profile views
  1. Warning Signs

    I enjoyed this whole lyric with one tiny exception. I kept stumbling over plural “signs”and “it.” Id suggest a simple change to ”lines right through ‘em” My favorite part was: The next two lines were an opportunity to expand on that idea, and they didn’t quite do it for me. This was the most interesting part of the lyric for me, sort of what the song is about, so it would be worth taking another look at that. nice job! Peko
  2. Precious Memories

    I also had trouble with the pronouns. I wondered if you were somehow comparing your grandad’s love with a second person, the “you.” It was confusing in that respect. Otherwise, I loved the rolled cigarette in his vest pocket! Good image.
  3. All Unicorns & Rainbows

    I think this is a good write. I like the Pre-Chorus and the Bridge, especially.
  4. Christmastime Is Over

    Kuya, i like this a lot! I thinks we all know women like this, (and to a lesser extent, men like this) so it’s gratifying to see the behavior exposed for what it is. One question, and forgive if I’m just missing the joke, but did you mean “for granite?” If you just misspelled “granted,” OK, but if it was a pun, then I think is kinda corny and not up to the standards of the rest of the lyric. And yes, that’s a fun last line! Peko
  5. You You You

    Thanks, Bob. I did a Google search, and there is a whole lot of information on what young people talk about/think about. Reading it, it makes me glad I'm not there any more! It also makes me laugh, because to a teenager, this line could sound like he was with an older woman! I think I'll leave it to others to do the young pop stuff. I like where I am.
  6. You You You

    Thank you. What do younger people talk about?
  7. You You You

    Hi, Bob, what do you mean by more youthful language? I’m 103 years old myself, so I need help. No really, the lyric has words like coffee, listen, cat, boss, years, cholesterol—ah, was it cholesterol?—ears, overtime...where are you seeing “old” language? Can you give me an example of what you mean?
  8. You You You

    Thanks, John. I got your earlier point about why did you have coffee with her if you knew she was like this. I tried to answer that in V3, because in real life, "I forgot" is the true answer. You haven't seen a friend in awhile and in your enthusiasm to catch up, you forget some of the things you find annoying. And then 3 minutes in, you remember and you vow "Never again!" So with the new V3, I'm still comfortable with V1L1. Thanks for the nudge on the Bridge choice.
  9. Hope (Don't it Shine)

    Not to me. I didn't notice the word HOPE in the title until after I read the whole thing. So, I guess what's shining is hope. But I didn't get that from the lyrics. I think you made a good decision to get rid of the original ending.
  10. Rain and Thunder

    Love this! And this. Great metaphor. Super nit: I'd take out the THE or the AND to make the line match the other L4's. Good write!
  11. You You You

    I really love this line! Something sarcastic and funny like that would be great in a bridge. I'm working on it!
  12. You You You

    I always like to hear your comments. No problem here!
  13. You You You

    Oops! You're right. No jealousy here! I'm thinking of just repeating the first line of the chorus here.
  14. You You You

    Revise #2 Thanks for all the suggestions! You You You Patty Lakamp © Copyright 2017 V1 You said Let’s meet for coffee We’re friends, It’s been too long I said Sounds like fun to me But boy, I got that wrong! Chorus All you ever talk about is You you you You’re the one you love to listen To to to Yeah, tell me more about the things ya Do do do Just once I’d love to hear you ask What’s New with you? V2 I tried to get a word in But you were on a roll Your cat, your boss, your diet Your high cholesterol Chorus All you ever talk about is You you you You’re the one you love to listen To to to Yeah, tell me more about the things ya Do do do Just once I’d love to hear you ask What’s New with you? V3 A real friend asks about me And listens to what she hears You’re a busy one-way street I’m just a pair of ears Chorus All you ever talk about is You you you You’re the one you love to listen To to to Yeah, tell me more about the things ya Do do do Just once I’d love to hear you ask What’s New with you? Bridge Wish I’d had a chance to tell you what is new with me My man’s working overtime and I think she’s twenty-three I need some major surgery and I can’t afford to pay But I feel better knowing you’re behind me all the way Chorus All you ever talk about is You you you You’re the one you love to listen To to to Yeah, tell me more about the things ya Do do do Just once I’d love to hear you ask What’s New with you? V4 Your parting line was priceless It showed you had no clue You said It’s been wonderful Just catching up with you Chorus All you ever talk about is You you you You’re the one you love to listen To to to Yeah, tell me more about the things ya Do do do Just once I’d love to hear you ask What’s New with you? Original: You You You Patty Lakamp © Copyright 2017 V1 You said Let’s meet for coffee We’re friends, It’s been too long I said Sounds like fun to me But boy, I got that wrong! Chorus All you ever talk about is You you you You’re the one you love to listen To to to Yeah, tell me more about the things you Do do do How come everything is always You you you V2 I tried to get a word in But you were on a roll Your cat, your boss, your diet Your high cholesterol Chorus All you ever talk about is You you you You’re the one you love to listen To to to Yeah, tell me more about the things you Do do do How come everything is always You you you V3 Why do I put up with this? What did I see in you? Why do I call you a friend I’m just two ears to you Chorus All you ever talk about is You you you You’re the one you love to listen To to to Yeah, tell me more about the things you Do do do How come everything is always You you you V4 Your parting line was priceless It showed you had no clue You said It’s been wonderful Just catching up with you Chorus All you ever talk about is You you you You’re the one you love to listen To to to Yeah, tell me more about the things you Do do do How come everything is always You you you
  15. Ain't Got Nothin'

    I like this the way it is because it says to me: You have something important if you have something to lose. If you don't have anything to lose, you have nothing. I can see the twist HoboSage is talking about: which says to me: if you have nothing to lose, you can afford to be reckless and that impulse is something in itself. But I like the original better.
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