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SnarkyAnarky

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    172
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SnarkyAnarky last won the day on May 16

SnarkyAnarky had the most liked content!

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About SnarkyAnarky

  • Rank
    Active Muse

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  • Gender
    Male

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    lyricist
  • Musical Influences?
    Ryan Adams, Kathleen Edwards, BJ Barham, Brian Fallon, Springsteen, Jeff Buckley
  1. Girl, Don't Do It

    i don't think you have to know everything but right now it's just the friend saying don't do it. Definitely show, don't tell but it's not showing anything either LOL for what it's worth, when I've struggled with a lyric before, I've actually written it out as a short story. Gets it all out on the page, then you can distill that down into the lyrics
  2. She go to the show

    my initial thought would be a candle that was throwing the shadows since it would tie the two together but wasnt sure where that would get incorporated into the hookup verse since it was pretty packed and i liked it the way it was.. lol
  3. Girl, Don't Do It

    why the girl wanted the affair from the angle of why this new guy was enticing and why her husband was making her consider it
  4. Girl, Don't Do It

    I think what what kept expecting to see was some 'why's. theres a brief mention of a magic man and something about teaching a husband to play but not really anything going on other than the friend telling her not to. Interesting idea and I think it could be something.
  5. She go to the show

    There is a lot going on here but I feel like it's easy to follow... the only part that kinda took me out of it was the bridge. I'm torn, it's the climax of the story but it almost seems unnecessary? actually, I think my problem with it (the bridge) is it's too long. The shadows on the wall is good imagery, and the fire bit is good imagery but they feel a bit disconnected... i think they're fighting with each other. The chorus doesn't do much for me, just a break from the packed verses. Overall, I really like this - a strong story and solid visuals, just needs some tightening up #2ยข
  6. Jekyll and Hyde

    huh. i'm gonna have to read about this now.. facinating
  7. Jekyll and Hyde

    I'd agree that the line about the lightning bug had me rereading it a couple times... with some logic gymnastics, i could get there but I'm not sure it's the best solution. Otherwise, it seems pretty fun (without being insubstantial) but dark at the same time. I like the visuals.
  8. Young Love

    a good start but @spanishbuddha makes some great points. needs tightening up and some vivid imagery, less exposition
  9. Love is beautiful

    nicely done, no suggestions beyond what others have mentioned. simple and timely for sure, simple message with a large scope - I like it
  10. Alice the Camel

    I agree with Paul and Joey, very nice stuff - the title was something that made me pass over this a few times until I saw 'folk' and 'americana' in the tags... makes sense with your explanation above but does the lyrics no favors. beyond that, i dig it - some very nice lines.
  11. Hello Piano

    i'm also in the same boat. all my stuff is rooted in some very personal things... i do worry that eventually i'm going to say all there is to say about that, or that everything will start sounding the same (it probably already does). saying 'the bigger things' seems to require a certain amount of finesse to keep from sounding preachy or condescending... or trite - and i'm not sure i possess that lol.
  12. Things Change

    i like the specificity of this - I understand your concern about them becoming 'old fast' but too general and it loses all it's weight... this seems to strike the right balance i think
  13. Evie Jean's Place

    finally! i couldn't comment on this yesterday for some reason - i agree with several of the other comments. very spooky and tons of great imagery!
  14. Maybe the next time

    right - that's how i understood it, i think i typed it weird. i like karma, nice twist
  15. Faded Memory (a few more revisions ~ 8/13)

    the rewrite is TONS stronger - nice work!
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