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SnarkyAnarky

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    188
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SnarkyAnarky last won the day on May 16

SnarkyAnarky had the most liked content!

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53 Excellent

About SnarkyAnarky

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    Active Muse

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  • Gender
    Male

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    lyricist
  • Musical Influences?
    Ryan Adams, Kathleen Edwards, BJ Barham, Brian Fallon, Springsteen, Jeff Buckley
  1. Can't Do This Anymore

    a lot tighter, I dig it
  2. "Superkettle" / "Ten and Out"

    the only think i noticed was the 'I' vs 'me' that has already been noted. I've tried doing lyrics that don't follow a defined rhyming pattern but still flow nonetheless - I don't think I've succeeded yet lol There is an ambiguity to the lines but I still found it relatable - obvious that there is internal turmoil going on. I'd also agree that the second part is a bit stronger. My initial thought about that is that maybe the first part is so long (OR at least appears that way on the page) that it loses some focus? But you obviously have a goal in mind so it may be doing exactly what you intend :-) overall I liked it, some interesting visuals and very evident that it's personal. I like personal.
  3. Can't Do This Anymore

    @James L Kleinheksel if i was any kind of musician, I'd love to work with you. Such as it is, my 2¢ is limited to a more stripped sound, sung like you're actually hurting. There was a lot of nice sounds in there but too nice for the sentiment I would agree with Peko that the music/delivery weakened it a little, I'm glad I read the lyrics first. Like I said, I still dig it, but the lyrics are so strong and carried it. I don't usually critique anything more than lyrics, I'm not a musician or a vocalist so I don't feel as qualified to comment Jamey Johnson's High Cost Of Living is what sprung to mind when i read the lyrics (the album version is still a touch shiney on the production side but still..). It's not as punchy as Paycheck, tho. A link, if you haven't heard it: https://youtu.be/jkhtlhxP9JQ Another one was The Bird Hunters by Turnpike Troubadours - this one is a bit more country-ish than maybe you were intending but thematically it was reminiscent of the 'i'm hurt but you can piss off' vibe of the lyrics. It's a quieter song and a less gruffer voice but the angst still comes through, presented for example. https://youtu.be/hFBDxLYNNVQ
  4. Can't Do This Anymore

    Sounds good to me - a little slicker than what I imagined from reading the lyrics but if that's your vision that's cool. It's always interesting to me to hear what the creators had in mind verses what the reader of the lyrics heard. I still dig it, man
  5. Can't Do This Anymore

    i missed this the first time around apparently but wow, i really dug this. lots and lots of nice lines in there. Your revisions to the original are tight. This hit me in all the right places. love it
  6. Yikes

    some interesting things going on here, had to read over it a few times and will probably go through it a few more times but initially, I really like it. glad you made it back to the boards :-D
  7. Rain and Thunder

    great imagery - the first two lines were a little surprising after reading the 'rain and thunder' title. like you said, i understand the need to set it up.. i like the IDEA of the first two lines but thematically they're a couple of oddballs
  8. All Unicorns & Rainbows

    i really dig this, my kind of jam. A lot of nice lines in there. Other than that I don't have anything to offer, it all sounded pretty nice to my ear - thanks for sharing it
  9. Could you please give me feedback on my lyrics>

    very nice lyrics, very vivid in the imagery and story... I don't think I'd change a thing. makes me think I should call in sick to work and spend the day writing/rewriting... i look forward to more of your work
  10. Snakebite Viv

    very nice, interesting visuals in this - the only part that didn't do much for me was the end of the second part of the bridge (?): 'She might have but I do notAnd snakebite venom hurts a lotI could foresee my graveside flowers...' thematically it fits but something about it didn't work for me – just didn't feel as strong as the rest. overall, very cool piece
  11. Singing Yellow down the phone

    i missed your initial note about Coldplay so i was a bit lost at first but by the time I got to the bridge it was all pretty clear... it's been a good long minute since I've even heard Yellow... so now flashbacks to college, thanks haha... all in all, pretty solid... very cohesive and sweet without ever really being cheesy, so good job there. the only thing that jumped out to me - and maybe a regional thing 'I'm singing Yellow *down* the phone' hits my ear a little weird, i kept wanting to say 'on'... but I feel like it's a regional thing. so no worries.
  12. Gravity

    i really dig this one, cohesive thoughts and feel to it - the revisions you made are solid. I've heard similar ideas before and even had some notes on something like this myself but this feels very fresh and really well put together
  13. Writer of Songs

    hahaha nicely done
  14. Girl, Don't Do It

    i don't think you have to know everything but right now it's just the friend saying don't do it. Definitely show, don't tell but it's not showing anything either LOL for what it's worth, when I've struggled with a lyric before, I've actually written it out as a short story. Gets it all out on the page, then you can distill that down into the lyrics
  15. She go to the show

    my initial thought would be a candle that was throwing the shadows since it would tie the two together but wasnt sure where that would get incorporated into the hookup verse since it was pretty packed and i liked it the way it was.. lol
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