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Tongue-tied

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Tongue-tied last won the day on March 18 2017

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About Tongue-tied

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    Contributing Muse

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  1. Tongue-tied

    On The Rocker

    Hi Everybody, This one was on my mind for a long while. Feedback welcome Cheers. On The Rocker V1 Weak vision bent back all I can't mend I know this chapter is about to end Miss those days when I was strong n active Been a century since I heard damn attractive Kids have gone sometimes they pay attention Bills like sharks starving for my humble pension To my shame again I hear Sofy whispers A wish to get this mink like her sisters Ch On the rocker thoughts seem to spark How it feels when swallowed in the dark A resting hole or a sinking ark? Once in a while please water my little park Once in a while please water my little park V2 Regret's been the only movie on screen Haunting ghosts starring in every scene This dreamer's never won a ticket Often hammered like a ball in cricket Yet I failed evil right from the start Sure it was intense battle in my heart Now each beat is a step to termination Pray it takes me to promised salvation Ch On the rocker thoughts seem to spark How it feels when swallowed in the dark A resting hole or a sinking ark? Once in a while please water my little park Once in a while please water my little park
  2. Tongue-tied

    A Drunkard's Lullabye

    Greetings GocartMoz, I think I really like it. Good music and production. Fresh yet very touching. I fell in love with your two fab lines: And like a kids first time in a candy store I took it all in and carved for more Very good imagery,I wish I'd written that. Thanks for posting the song. Cheers
  3. Greetings Snabbu, Yeah this song is solid and Radio Ready. I enjoyed the music a lot especially the ticking of the clock in the background. Music adds to the lyric. Your fab singing "She's watching the clock" reminds me of Karen Carpenter singing "He's got a ticket to ride". Vocals variations are very tricky,me too,I thought there was a female singing... Thanks for posting the song. Keep up the good work. Cheers
  4. Tongue-tied

    Don't Need'em Anymore

    Greetings Anna, Thanks a lot for your kind words. I highly appreciate your comment. You're right this lyric is not explicit as there's no backstory. Actually the real protagonist of this lyric is the moment of unbearable pain the love interest is undergoing. In some situations it's better to leave things open to the recipient own interpretation / imagination since art is extremely subjective. I do hope that my reply to malcolm above will help you grasp the whole meaning of the lyric. I'll be back to the drawing board for some minor tweaks. Thanks for the visit. Cheers.
  5. Tongue-tied

    Don't Need'em Anymore

    Greetings malcolm, Thanks very much for reading and commenting on my lyric. I regret that it didn't appeal to you as expected. Sorry Sir. To some extent I guess this lyric did its job as it made you feel that it was " ghoulish/ a charnel house " I really like this description. You also said that " There's something really wrong with the arms and legs bit " As a rule I hate to explain lyrics simply because 1) The Author Is Dead, that's to say, once a lyric is out there it belongs to the recipient only,2) if a lyric has to be explained then it fails to do its job. Since you put me in a corner,I'll give you some explanation regarding the arms and legs which I think they are as valid as the eyes and heart. The protagonist used to go walking to his/her loved one home almost every evening,as they broke apart he/she lost direction. Having nowhere to go , he/she doesn't need'em anymore. And so is the case with arms that used to feel the warmth and softness of the other partner's body which no longer exists. Now if the protagonist's arms have nothing to hold but cold emptiness,then he/she doesn't need'em anymore. Why make'em a memorial cross? To be an eternal witness of his/her sincere devotion. Perhaps if the chorus is read carefully it will explain why the massacre took place. Cheers. I think I'll make some minor tweaks soon. Been on my mind long time ago.
  6. Tongue-tied

    Don't Need'em Anymore

    Revised Version V1 I can't defy your unsaid goodbye No Valentine to save my loss Gonna strip away my eyes nail'em to the sky Cut my arms and legs for a memorial cross Give away my heart to a hungry wolf Ch Don't need'em anymore My heart's down on the floor My eyes won't see you like before Don't need'em anymore My feet won't walk through your door My arms won't hold you on the shore Don't need'em anymore V2 No heart to sigh no eyes to cry Like a diamond missing its gloss A yielding hostage who'll never fly Chained to memories and scotch to toss Yet my lonely shadow's looking for me Ch Don't need'em anymore My heart's down on the floor My eyes won't see you like before Don't need'em anymore My feet won't walk through your door My arms won't hold you on the shore Don't need'em anymore First Draft V 1 It's a cold goodbye A very big loss Gonna strip away my eyes nail'em to the sky Cut my arms and legs for a memorial cross Give away my heart to a hungry wolf Ch Don't need'em anymore If my heart is laid down on the floor And my eyes can't see you once more Don't need'em anymore If I won't walk through your door To hold you tight like I did before Don't need'em anymore V 2 No heart to sigh no eyes to cry Like diamond reduced to dross A yielding hostage who dreads to fly Chained to memories and scotch to toss Again my lonely shadow's looking for me Ch Don't need'em anymore If my heart is laid down on the floor And my eyes can't see you once more Don't need'em anymore If I won't walk through your door To hold you tight like I did before Don't need'em anymore
  7. Tongue-tied

    Racist

    Greetings Spanishbuddah, I like it very much.Well done.This lyric is a brave and straightforward account of the current affairs keeping the right balance between two irreconcilable parties. In other words,it's a clever autopsy of each side's argument. I hear a noble voice crying in the vast inviting everyone to strip themselves away from herd mentality and stop labeling themselves or others and simply be true to the naked truth. It's really amazing that most people are concerned about air pollution yet unaware of brain pollution inflicted on them by the tyranny/dictatorship of the media hunting them around the clock. It's a tragedy that if ONE event is on the news,we usually get two different/opposed stories of the same event while switching between CNN and SKY news for instance which is absolutely impossible. Those behind the scene simply look after their own interests by keeping the masses in check... The truth is that every soul is endowed with a perfect moral machine but other wicked minds are mean enough to pervert this machine which is the only tool that lifts us to be real human beings. I think this is what your lyric is telling me.By the way,I don't find it confusing at all,it's clear,simple and flows well. " Smart ones suffer even in heaven,idiots rejoice even in hell " Keep or sweep. Cheers
  8. Tongue-tied

    Kill My Baby

    She's restless can't wait anymore Two moons she ain't seen her blood Rushed to buy a kit from the drugstore If it happens it's gonna make her dud Test confirmed her fears now she's two A thankful tear drops as I hear the news At last the family of my dreams is due She's not dancing but drowning in blues One night she forgot the pill She's going to kill She's going to kill my baby Insane is my lady She's going to kill my baby She says money is running short Raising this baby is a mere disaster It ain't no good reason to abort She's got a bright career to look after I can't stop this freedom abuse Still wondering if it's a he or she I'm fighting but going to lose No fruit she's turned barren tree One night she forgot the pill She is going to kill She's going to kill my baby Insane is my lady She's going to kill my baby
  9. Hi J.Pump, Welcome to the Muse. I enjoyed your song "Inside This Place" a lot. Great captivating music. Performance seems quite professional. True talent is showing. A star is in the making. Well done
  10. Tongue-tied

    House Of Movies

    Hi Iggy, Great lyric. Concise and relatable. Keep as it is. Well done. Cheers
  11. Tongue-tied

    Every Step

    Lucky you,you've got all ingredients for making a star... captivating voice and performance,ability to write both meaningful lyrics and good music. "And if I dive in I'm never resurfacing" great imagery Wow,I can only say you're no good,you're no good,Alex you're no good.
  12. Tongue-tied

    Can't Get Enough

    Greetings Alex, I just can't get enough of your "can't get enough". Charming distinctive voice and good music.Definitely, I see a very promising talent emerging .Awaiting complete song. Best wishes and good luck.
  13. Tongue-tied

    You'll Never Be My Girl

    Greetings Bob, A real good lyric. I like it. I dig the clever double meaning title. Verse 1 is crystal clear,telling us about a self assured guy. Who said he was sad? Was he? "You could never make me sad". It doesn't bother that rhymes were a bit simplistic.What really matters is the structure,concept, and meaning of the lyric which makes good sense. It's quite amazing that some are trying to find faults with this lyric while they don't exist.It's irrelevant whether the events are taking place in a small town or in New York City.I guess the writer is entitled a bit of license . "going down" is simply going down,and in the context of the lyric it means (girl you're a loser). In fact, this lyric is coherent and glaring,that people with Down's syndrome can certainly understand. I'm not implying that this lyric is perfect,but surely NOT walking on crutches. All in all well done,just my thoughts,keep or sweep. Cheers.
  14. Tongue-tied

    M A S T E R

    Greetings Kuya, As usual,appreciate your valuable time and kind comments.Insightful. Thanks a lot
  15. Tongue-tied

    M A S T E R

    M A S T E R I'm the master I've got the word I'm the lord I've got the chord Naturally I mesmerize All girls and guys As they hear the news They rush and stand in queues Bright stars gonna rock the ground Boy,tonight I'll be crowned I'm the master I've got the word I'm the lord I've got the chord Naturally I mesmerize All girls and guys Once I start the beat On and on it goes wild and sweet Again I hear the cheers See broken hearts and lots of tears I know sometimes your love is tragic But you heal as you feel my magic In your heart you've engraved my name And posted it on the wall of fame I'm the master I've got the word I'm the lord I've got the chord Naturally I mesmerize All girls and guys
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