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Ty Cobb

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Ty Cobb last won the day on March 21

Ty Cobb had the most liked content!

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About Ty Cobb

  • Rank
    Active Muse

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    New York
  • Interests
    Music, Drinking, History, Poker

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Lyricist/Meager Composer
  • Musical Influences?
    Robert Hunter, Gillian Welch/Dave Rawlings, etc.Rock, Folk (Americana), Blues, Outlaw Country ...

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  1. Ty Cobb

    What Kind Of Man

    Tiny nit from me, ‘pimples’ in v1 seems more appropriate for a teenager than the middle aged man you are describing, maybe ‘wrinkles’ would work better to show his vanity?
  2. Ty Cobb

    Three Wishes

    I get your premise with this line (not the lyric, per-say ) but I don't necessarily always agree. Sometimes a lyrical thought or idea needs a few passes to sink in or become clear, so I don't necessarily always see this as a failing on the writers part, sometimes that can fall on the listener/reader? As to the lyric, I don't listen to rap so forgive me if I am slow on the uptake/nuances/subtleties. I was a little thrown off trying to figure out the ladies relationship to the narrator. My first take was looking at them as his prostitutes and him as the pimp. Then I started to think of a 'Charlies Angels' type of thing with narrator being 'Charlie' and the ladies being his agents/killers? I never really thought of them as his girlfriends. I didn't really get this part. In general, I can see the 'tear-down' of the rap 'machismo/braggadocio ' formula but I did not make the leap to parody/comedy. Again, I know very little about the rap genre, so maybe this was just over my head, or comfort zone.
  3. Ty Cobb

    Happiness ...

    I guess on paper I can understand your dilemma/problem here, I am hoping if I can get the music to where I want it the meaning will become clearer. In the chorus, 'happiness' isn't a proclamation, state of mind or mood. It is more of a question, a yearning, a longing. Again, I think if this is heard not read, it will be clearer. I get it, I was trying for a 'timeless' vibe to make the point more universal, not everyone's cup of tea. Basically syllables, 'froze' fit the cadence on the melody better, and I also thought it added some immediacy to the line (more dramatic?). Thank you very much for your feedback, it is greatly appreciated. I like to hear all opinions, even if they are not glowing. We can often learn more from crit's than praises, and that is the point here, as i see it anyway, to improve our craft. I sometimes find myself reluctant to post on others work if I don't have some positives to provided with any crit's I may have. I'll work on that. Appreciate it, I guess I find myself writing a bunch in this vein, meaning it might take a pass or two to digest my point. I know this is not how some folks like it, but I am glad that some do. I read this as a poem - just too many poetic wording and no real story. I really lost interest in this one. Thank for taking the time Barneyboy, I appreciate it. I know you like things 'straight forward' and this one kinda takes a bit to get to the point. Interesting idea, it certainly would alleviate some of the issues other posters have mentioned about losing interest, or not following the point. That was the first line I wrote that the rest of the lyric was built around, to support that premise. My intent was to build up to that conclusion at the end. I am a bit partial to the subtlety of the build up, a journey if you will, but starting with that would make the premise much easier to digest. I'll think on this. Thanks a bunch for the input.
  4. Ty Cobb

    The Truth Comes Stumbling In

    Liked this in the contest, and like it even better with your edits here, the structure is a lot clearer to grasp, IMO. A great concept/hook.
  5. Ty Cobb

    Alexa

    I kinda agree with fabkebab, interesting idea that could benefit from a little deeper 'fleshing out'
  6. Ty Cobb

    Happiness ...

    Thanks for the well thought out feedback, I was definitely aiming for the 'bleak' take on this. To your point about the 'mood', that was the 'change' I came to between contest posting and this submission. No real changes to the lyric per-say, but a change in the arraignment and accompaniment to settle the conflict you pointed out between the chorus (happiness?) and the verses (bleak) mood. Originally I was working on this as a delicate acoustic thing with arpeggio backing, and I was running into the exact problem you pointed out, the 'moods' didn't really stand out/distinguish themselves from one another. I have scraped that approach, and am now trying to work to a more 'Leonard Cohen' kinda vibe, with the chorus being sung very high and delicate, in a questioning tone (hopefully eventually a female voice) and the verses with a much lower grittier bassier vibe, if any of that makes sense. My hope was leaving the chorus with that 1/2 line ending kinda adds to the 'incomplete' feel. Although this approach is probably past my musical abilities. Thanks again for taking the time & providing detailed feedback. I sincerely hope that you do not take this advice (sorry Fab! ). Right now you have a unique concept that feels like it offers insight into the human condition. Making it about a happy drunk would transform the song into a cliche. IMO, of course. Good stuff, Ty. You want bleak, you got it! Thanks for the kind words, and no worries, I don't plan on changing the POV. Thanks 9th, I was kinda satisfied, (didn't want to say 'happy') with the parallel imagery/structure of the first two verses, glad you picked up on that and dug it I get your take completely, and you are correct in that with the first two verses, I was attempting to get a timeless feel and used some biblical/heavenly references, hence the myrrh. The gossamer I have only really ever heard in old poems, but I thought it appropriate here to go with the light/delicate/fleeting feel of the image. Again, you are correct, while with the first two verses I was shooting for old & timeless, with the 3rd verse I was attempting to tie the thing together and get to the point, my 2 cents anyway. Maybe more melodramatic than some would prefer, but I was thinking of this as a little foreshadowing to the bleaker conclusion as well as tying into the 'heavenly/biblical' imagery. Again, thank you all for your feedback, greatly appreciated.
  7. Ty Cobb

    A little meadow (Love's in bloom)

    I thought this a strong entry, and had it in the top tier on my ballot. A few suggs from me: Bridge placement, I would definitely move back the bridge to after the second chorus (or at least after the first chorus). Establish the chorus first and I think both the B & C will have more impact. Also, would you consider making this a duet with male/female voices singing back and forth to each other? If you tweak the pronouns I think this could be accomplished pretty simply and add a lot more emotion to the piece. They are both are looking/searching/longing to 'share' the place/love with each other? Maybe: V1 male V2 female C - unison/harmony V3 - male C- unison/harmony B - both Outro - both Just a thought, use/adapt/ignore as you see fit.
  8. Ty Cobb

    Happiness ...

    Happiness ….. C Happiness …..oh happiness Happiness ……oh happiness Happiness …… V1 A flower blooms so fair & fine Stretches up to heaven beauty sublime Its fragrance pure as the finest myrrh Bees buzzing round it they all concur But just as fall will follow spring The bloom will die and the angels sing C Happiness …..oh happiness Happiness ……oh happiness Happiness …… V2 I knew a girl so fine & fair The angels smiled on her gossamer hair Her love for me was summer’s sky Closest thing to heaven I’d ever spy When she left winter come Left me froze alone and numb C Happiness …..oh happiness Happiness ……oh happiness Happiness ….. V3 All good things and all good times Will surely pass before their primes All that’s born is sure to die See it the gleam of a baby’s eye Happiness is a state of psychosis If you pay attention you already know this C/Outo Happiness …..oh happiness Happiness ……oh happiness Happiness …… (repeat) This was my Lyric contest entry, with a tiny tweak to the chorus, as subsequent to submission, I fleshed out the phrasing of the chorus a bit and added the ‘unbalanced ending’ to leave that part a little more ‘unstable’. Had to ‘cleanse my palate’ after last month’s overly optimistic ‘Always Believe (Something Wonderful)’. LOL But in a way, this really did come out of that. In the comments to that song’s posting on the lyric feedback board PaulCanuck pointed out that the song was a bit too ‘pollyannic’ for his tastes. I responded: I am not disagreeing with your 'pollyannic' point at all, I guess I just wanted to leave this one 'optimistic', even though we both know: 'happiness is a state of clinical psychosis' That was a quote that stuck out to me from an interview with Chris Cornell back in the 90’s (I guess we should have seen that ending coming?). I don’t think Cornell even said it, to my memory the interviewer brought it up and he commented on it. I don’t know the real origins of the quote, if anybody here has any insight I would be curious to know. Anyway, I didn’t think much of it at the time, but in rereading the comments a few days later this song came into being, the last part of V3 coming first, the rest, rather quickly to support it. Thanks for the push to inspiration Paul C!!! Sorry for boring you with the backstory, any feedback would be appreciated.
  9. Uhhhhhhhhhhhmm, if the Women voted: 1. Cash 2. Dylan 3. Marley and the Men voted: 1. Dylan 2. Cash 3. N. Young How is it that the overall vote was: 1. Madonna 2. Marley 3. Rage Against the Machine Is there another category of voters that qualify as 'other' or do some folks just not put in a gender??????
  10. Ty Cobb

    I Took a Train

    What was the line from the movie ‘Crazy Heart’, something like: “That’s the way it is with good one’s, you’re sure you heard ‘em before” I like the back & forth vocals in the beginning, very ‘familiar, warm, traditional and inviting’ in a general sort of way, not specifically derivative but in a traditional vein. My only nit would be to add another ‘A’ part between the ‘B’ & ‘C’ part to ‘root’ the song a bit, even if it is a repeat. I think this ‘rooting’ would work both from a musical & thematic POV. Anyway, just my thoughts, use/adapt/ignore as you see fit.
  11. Ty Cobb

    Greenbacks of america

    First impression, as an Aussie you know a lot more about American history/leaders than I, as an American, do about Australian history/leaders. Kudos to you/shame on me. I am not sure of the interpretation of 'greenbacks' here. That term is usually used to describe $. Is your intent to mention these leaders contributions to America was all about $? Or that despite their great contributions to American history, America is now only about the $? Forgive me but I am missing the meaning of the 'greenback' reference. Also, in your chorus: 'And then Washington' struck me as out of place, the 'and then' seemed to suggest that Washington came later, when obviously he came before many of the names you mention. Anyway, just my thoughts, use/adapt/ignore as you see fit.
  12. Ty Cobb

    Collaboration Contest Results - April 2018

    Maybe I should have presented this in a slightly different way. I am certainly not questioning anyone's motives/methods of scoring, and I did not mean to create a dissection/justification of reactions to 'Crocodilly Lilly' in particular. I just though that MAYBE, (based on the communal efforts/energy/time investments displayed on this site) as a group of people that take songwriting/lyrics seriously we are giving more 'weight/respect/importance' to somber/reflective themes than to lighthearted/fun ones? I know my material is usually way more on the darker/somber/depressing side of the spectrum, so it is entirely possible that a song like 'Croc Lilly' appealed to me as it is so foreign to my stuff that it made a stronger impression.
  13. Ty Cobb

    Collaboration Contest Results - April 2018

    Sorry for being so late to the party here, but looking back at the results and some of the feedback provided on the voting process/song notes, a thought occurred to me. If emotional response is a criteria for liking/disliking a tune, why is it that IMO, some people seem to give a somber/reflective tune more weight than an amusing/comical one? From a scoring perspective anyway. Full disclosure, I had the Tracy/Moso tune 'Crocodilly Lilly' at the top of my scorecard. I thought the lyrics were fun and the arrangement & performance were inspired lunacy at its best. So unique, so original, great execution and so utterly 'out of the box' that I thought it stood out from a deep pool of quality entries, IMO anyway. 'Croc' had 4 first place votes (3rd most), but was left off of the top half of nearly half of the ballots (15 of 31). That seemed odd to me compared to some of the other entries & scoring patterns. Based on the quality of the rest of the field, and the vagaries of taste, I am not complaining that it didn't win, but I am suggesting that an unintentional 'bias' might exist, that was only reinforced to me by some of the voters comments, that IMO seemed to suggest a similar theme: that, although the production/arrangement/performance/lyric were exceptional, it was good as a 'novelty tune' or somehow less worthy than the more somber/reflective 'serious' songs. I fully realize that being so 'out of box', the song was fighting an uphill battle in the contest, but my bigger questions is this: If creating an emotional response is so desirable in a song/lyric, why is somber/reflecting/crying seen as more worthy than smiling/amusing/laughing ? Are they both not valid emotional responses of relative equal importance? as far as scoring goes anyway, or am I just crazy on this? I am curious as to what others think.
  14. Ty Cobb

    Corn whisky (the death of Robert Johnson)

    Any tune with whisky in the title is gonna get a look from me, so well done there! I will admit the first time through i did not notice the Robert Johnson subtitle and just read this through as "Corn Whiskey'. From that perspective, I liked the tune as the lyrics seemed to created their own bounce/flow/cadence and had some good lines. Although I liked the V2 a bunch I wasn't sure how it fit into the song. Once I noticed the subtitle, everything came into focus. I saw this was a song about the legend that Robert Johnson died from poisoned booze given to him by the husband of women he was messing around with. Very well done from my POV, but might not be easily relatable/identifiable to some. IMO that is their problem, well done. Just a few nit's from me. I assume the last two lines are from a Johnson tune that isn't apparent to me? Maybe something like: corn whiskey was the death of him it won't get the best of me This introduces your title in the chorus, rather than leaving that until the Coda? Speaking of the Coda, maybe: Just minor nit's, use/adapt/ignore as you see fit.
  15. Ty Cobb

    Happy Birthday Me - UPDATED

    Just a quick thought from me before you shelf this. In listening to the 'demo', a few things struck me. The arrangement didn't seem to be as dynamic as the lyrics. Meaning the music was similar throughout the piece, although you did alter your vocals on the 3rd verse. While the lyrics seemed to have a much more dynamic range of emotions, first two verses 'upbeat & hopeful', 3rd down & melancholy & the 4th uplifting. Why not mirror that in the arrangement more? Maybe move the solo to after the 2nd V and have it soar with the 18 year old's optimism? Then slow down the tempo & simplify the accompaniment (sparser more 'open' and vulnerable?) on the 3rd verse to reflect the more somber mood and have the song take off again & soar with the redemption in the 4th verse? This might give the music the same dynamic emotional range as the lyrics? Just a thought, use/adapt/ignore as you see fit.
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