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jaxswim

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About jaxswim

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    Muse In Training

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    Both
  1. jaxswim

    untitled?

    V1 The one that got away would be an understatement Now I don't know how to undo my engagement You've always been miles away Did you even want me anyway? Oh, I ain't even seen your face But I know, I know, I know I know I know I know I know PRE We keep talking through the screen And I know you're just a dream I can't bear to break this routine Cause I've been loving you since seventeen CHORUS You're on the other side of life Run away with me to my side of paradise If you showed up at my door I would say, "Let's go, let's go, let's go" You're on the other side of life Run away with me to my side of paradise I know you loved me once before What's the truth down low, down low, down low? V2 You told me it was me that you wanted the most You told me all your secrets and I let you in close But you've got so many other guys I'm just one star in your night sky I know what I want, just not why But I know, I know I know I know I know I know PRE Even when I'm in despair No one else seems to compare You're like something from a prayer So why's this feel like a nightmare? CHORUS You're on the other side of life Run away with me to my side of paradise If you showed up at my door I would say, "Let's go, let's go, let's go" You're on the other side of life Run away with me to my side of paradise I know you loved me once before What's the truth down low, down low, down low? just a sad lil pop song - taking suggestions for bridge ideas or titles (and constructive criticism on the rest of course)
  2. Hm. Mixed feelings on this. As a song, meter-wise and all, it works even if the phrasing is a little "clipped" (4-5 syllables a line doesn't help to develop ideas very much). I mean, I can sing it in my head, so from that standpoint I could definitely see this as a song. However, like others have said, the message is kind of iffy for me. Separating my own ideas from the piece, I think "Go for the jugular/Aim for the vein" works really well as anthemic, "firing up" lyrics. The first verse is a little hard to follow but you hit a better rhythm in the second and third verses. Overall I definitely could see this as a real song and it works for what it is, whether I like "what it is" or not
  3. jaxswim

    We Talk For Hours

    Hi guys! I'm a fairly beginner pop songwriter with big dreams. I don't think this needs much introduction... Thanks for looking! "We Talk For Hours" V1 Guess I don’t know how to keep head and heart apart Cause I live for now but now makes living hard Oh, one taste of glee gets me falling to your feet You won’t make the first move, well then I’ll take the lead And I know you know what I know, that I’m attached When it’s over and done, can’t help feeling just attacked Like every time I step up to the ring, one-punch KO Chipping and chipping away from my block of hope PRE I can’t stop wanting you What’s a boy with a heart to do? CHORUS We talk for hours But I don’t hear a word you say Cause all I want is “I love you” And all I think is “I love you” We talk for hours Calling you up day after day But I don’t get “I love you” Never will hear “I love you” V2 I can’t say you’re the very first one that I’ve adored Not the first one who’s kept me coming back for more Habitual attachment to the hips of those I love Perpetual attraction to the lips I can’t outrun I can’t say they all grew tired of my affection Cause you know when it’s real, an honest connection I guess it’s me who always gets scared and runs away Protecting my heart before it gets the chance to break PRE I can’t stop wanting you What’s a boy with a heart to do? CHORUS We talk for hours But I don’t hear a word you say Cause all I want is “I love you” And all I think is “I love you” We talk for hours Calling you up day after day But I don’t get “I love you” Never will hear “I love you” M8 You call me fragile, you think I’m insecure Try living like me, let’s see how you endure Head full of dreams ends up feeling like disease And desires that will never be pleased CHORUS We talk for hours But I don’t hear a word you say Cause all I want is “I love you” And all I think is “I need you” We talk for hours Calling you up day after day But I don’t get “I love you” Never will hear “I love you” We talk for hours But I don’t hear a word you say Cause all I want is “I love you” And all I think is “I love you” We talk for hours Calling you up day after day But I don’t get “I love you” Never will hear “I love you”
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