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LB76

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LB76 last won the day on October 2

LB76 had the most liked content!

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40 Excellent

About LB76

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    Inspirational Muse

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    Male

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  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Lyrics
  • Musical Influences?
    Nick drake, cherry ghost, David Gray, the Beatles, jeff Buckley, stone roses, counting crows, rem
  1. Only when I lie

    Well murphster no nits from me. I really like this, it's my cup of tea and it gets a thumbs up. How good is your guitar playing? Do you sing aswell? I'd like to hear it to music so let me know if you post it in the songs feedback
  2. Find Myself

    Hi Ty. I was hoping to score the contest this month but missed the deadline. I'm sorry to you because I would have scored this one highly as it was one of my favourites. A clean and clear lyric that all ties together nicely. Only tiny nit is that I don't likes words like chagrin and bereft in lyrics just because they are words I would never use but that's just a personal preference. I expected a higher place for this
  3. I think ive settled on this as my final draft. Unless anyone has anything to say about it. Against a wall V I found god against a wall At a drunken friday free for all You took my hand and led my feet Down a sacred terraced street V Dizzy heights in orange lights I held my breath with all my might With butterflies I closed my eyes Could've kissed you 'til I died V High hopes and rationed smokes Adding vodka to our cokes Keeping dry on rainy nights Teenage wrongs, our teenage rights Ch Against a wall, against a wall Instant big-time know it all Three days wide and 10 feet tall Pride followed by a fall V I found fear against a wall Solemn saturday withdrawal A mocking seed inside my head A sleepless night, something you said V Green eyes and silent sighs Guessing games, telling lies Some you win and some you lose I waited by the wall for you Ch Against a wall, against a wall Instant big-time know it all Three days wide and 10 feet tall Pride followed by a fall V I found hell upon a wall Your adolescent female scrawl For all to see a heart shaped frame Around somebody else's name V A broken heart behind the shops Sorrows drowned in alcopops Something starts, another ends Another wall to start again Ch Against a wall, against a wall Instant big-time know it all Three days wide and 10 feet tall Bricks and mortar break my fall
  4. Bedside lamplight SOS

    Thanks everyone. Some great advice again from you all. Jim the reason I put my lyrics up here is so the likes of yourself can give me your advice and opinions and if you comment like that on all my posts I'd be happy so please don't apologise. I realise the way I've written this is hard to follow. It works with a melody in my head but I had no idea how to write it down in the chorus, as in, I didn't know whether to split the lines up or not. However, I've since had someone offer to turn these lyrics into a song so I'll see how it turns out before making any changes because I think they might make the odd change anyway. Thanks again everyone
  5. Bedside lamplight SOS

    Curious to hear some feedback on this one as it didn't go down well in the lyric contest the other month Bedside lamplight SOSHallowed help, to god I pray,The path you walk leads you this way.I'm sure it won't, but just incase,I'll leave some beacons in my wake.Please find the trail of teardrops I have left,Or trace the line of stars that I have wished upon instead.Can't you hear this broken heart beat distress calls from my chest,See my bedside, lamplight, SOSSainted saviour save my soul,Can't fight this loneliness alone.'cause wishful thinking's nothing new,I'll fire some flares up high for you.Please find the trail of teardrops I have left,Or trace the line of stars that I have wished upon insteadCan't you hear this broken heart beat distress calls from my chest,See my bedside, lamplight, SOSNo shining knight of chivalry,No kiss of of life to rescue me,But just because you never know,I'll post some signs up where I go.Please find the trail of teardrops I have left,Or trace the line of stars that I have wished upon insteadCan't you hear this broken heart beat distress calls from my chest,See my bedside, lamplight, SOS
  6. Party When I Die

    Hi Kirk. Not my usual taste but ì think it's a good, clean, fun lyric. I think I might agree with James that it needs an extra verse. Maybe two. One to set it up and one at the end to round it off. Good work though
  7. Bible In My Pocket

    Well I really liked it. Jonny cash singing hurt is the kind if song that sprang to mind reading it. It's a bit rough around the edges and needs work. For example I wasn't mad on these lines Onae or two others could be better too but a bit of polishing and I'd say it could be pretty good
  8. Against a wall (rough 1st draft)

    Thanks again peko. I may go back to the original, it's not my final draft. Oh and orange lights is simply the orange street lights we seemed to grow up under. Most of my night time memories seem to be in orange. These days they're mostly white Paul I'm sure your brain is not addled. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I confess I had to look up vignettes. Maybe they are a bit, but I tried to group these vignettes. The first 3 verses are about the excitement of falling for someone at a young age. The next two are of doubt creeping in (guessing games) and jealousy (green eyes). Finally the last two are of losing the girl and how kids deal with that. I think the chorus ties the first group of verses with the second but maybe not the second to the third. I think it would over compliment the song to change them bit I think I can get away with it as it could be the protagonist harking back to that fateful day against a wall where he first kissed his first love and all the pride and what not kicked in. Anyway thanks for the feedback, always appreciated
  9. Always Moving Forward Every day

    A lot easier to decode than your usual lyrics. It's quite a clean lyric and all works well. The verses remind me so much of Willy mason for some reason. Reading it I lose the flow on the chorus but I'm sure you have a melody in mind that works with it. All in all, pretty decent. Maybe I agree with paul, maybe always move forward everyday for the first and then always moving forward everyday in he last verse
  10. Judging Lyrics

    Simple. It's all about taste and nobodies is wrong and nobodies are ever really the same
  11. We Can't

    Imo mike, being general or obscure is almost always a major plus. I like to work things out for myself rather than be told in no uncertain terms a story or point of view. This has just the right amount of obscurity to it, I think if you hadn't pointed out what it was about I would have worked it out. Even if I'd come to the wrong conclusions,so what, I've said it before, what I love about lyrics is discussing what I think they're about. Kind of like the opening "like a virgin" scene of reservoir dogs. Anyway all that said, I agree with the other comments, a protest song is only appreciated by those who agree with the POV. I do. I think you hit the mark very well with this lyric. The second half of the second verse summons my thoughts on the situation up perfectly. Land of the free my arse
  12. The One That Got Away

    Couldn't help but chuckle at this one. Not sure if that was your intention or not and I hope that the likes of Emily and some of the other girls on here have a sense of humour about it. I can sense you getting a bit of the old hairdryer treatment of somebody. Anyway back to the lyrics, well, I don't think I need to bother with a critique, it is what it is. Vulgar and written in 15 minutes (Although not sure why it took you that long really). Having said that I'm sure it's a tongue in cheek piss take so fairplay to you. Made me smile
  13. Against a wall (rough 1st draft)

    I've took into account all your comments. Very helpful by the way, perfect example of why I use this site to make my lyrics the best they can be. I'll post a separate revised version when I think it's finished. But for now, I'm eager to get some more feedback from you on these changes.thanks in advance Against a wall V I found god against a wall At a drunken friday free for all You took my hand and led my feet Down a sacred terraced street V Dizzy heights in orange lights I held my breath with all my might With butterflies I closed my eyes Could've kissed you 'til I died V High hopes and rationed smokes Adding vodka to our cokes Keeping dry on rainy nights Teenage wrongs, our teenaged rights Ch Against a wall, against a wall Instant big-time know it all Three days wide and 10 feet tall Pride followed by a fall V I found fear against a wall Solemn saturday withdrawal A mocking seed inside my head A sleepless night, something you said V Green eyes and silent sighs Guessing games, telling lies Some you win and some you lose I waited by the wall for you Ch Against a wall, against a wall Instant big-time know it all Three days wide and 10 feet tall Pride followed by a fall V I found hell upon a wall Your adolescent female scrawl For all to see a heart shaped frame Around somebody else's name V A broken heart behind the shops Sorrows drowned in alcopops Something starts, another ends Another wall to start again Ch Against a wall, against a wall Instant big-time know it all Three days wide and 10 feet tall Bricks and mortar broke my fall
  14. Against a wall (rough 1st draft)

    Hi peko. Despite my Irish blood from my mother's side I am very much a northern english man. Terraced streets are very much a part of my working class roots so I was going for that personal visual effect but I'm not married to it. Some great advice from you all over. I'll will definately be taking your advice with the revised version. Thanks Ty. Again, some very helpful feedback. I've already given the God line some thought because I didn't want people to think I was actually talking about finding God and that it was a religious song. I've decided to leave that line in although love would work, I just think that if you polish something too much it loses its edge. I agree with you and peko about the kissing line. Seems a bit too immature. I've already rewritten but like I said I'll save all the corrections for the rewrite. Oh and the three days wide thing isn't really a well known phrase I don't think. It's probably a bit personal. When we were at that age and we were mocking someone for thinking they were hard we'd say "look at him, 3 days wide" Hi paul. Thanks for the compliment some great feedback from you once again. I will be using some of those suggestions in the revised version. Already decided to drop the last verse. Thanks again
  15. Shut Up and Let Me Gloat

    I found it hard to find the flow of this and wonder how it would work in a song with it being just the 3 verses. However once again i enjoyed decoding your lyrics. Like a puzzle. For me thats what its all about and takes talent to achieve. Not your best but still enjoyable.
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